War of the Roses
by edwardandbellabelong2gether
Summary: What do you do when you find out the one person who should never betray you...has? When Edward & Bella have trouble conceiving and he turns to someone else for comfort...will she ever be able to forgive him? AH Canon couples.
1. Prologue

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story. Stephenie Meyer owns them all (lucky). I am just having some fun and gathering entertainment from them. I have changed the name of the radio show discussed in this story but I do not own the real one!**_

_**A/N…WARNING! This is an Edward cheats on Bella story. So if you do not want to read that…stop reading now. You have been warned. This story has been nagging at me for many months and I just need to get it out on paper. This is a story about things that happen in real life and a couple struggling to find their way back to each other. I hope you give it a shot but I realize it will not be for everyone so I will not be upset if you click out of it now and do not come back. Just remember although I specialize in angst and cliff hangers…I am always all about the HEA. If you are still with me…here goes. **_

Prologue

BPOV

His total demeanor had changed. He was angry now because I was making him leave and not letting him get his way.

He was still standing in front of me as he shoved his hands in his pockets before roughly grabbing my hand. As he shoved my rings back on my finger he said, "I told you that I would put these back on for _you_. I grabbed them when I made Charlie his breakfast this morning. Now…answer…my…goddamn…questions!"

"Fine!" I shouted at him as I walked towards my window to give myself some breathing room.

I pointed out the window, "That beautiful new Porsche out there is…_mine_! I cut my hair to hurt you! _You_ love my longer hair…I don't want to do anything that makes _you_ happy! That is the _only_ reason I cut my hair…there is not another one! Riley rescued me from the rain when I had a flat tire in the Volvo on the way to see my dad at the hospital. He also happens to be a _lawyer_!"

I noticed the recognition cross his face…then there was a scowl…so I decided to push the knife in a little further.

"That's right…I've already talked to a lawyer. Riley set me up with one of his partners and she will be handling my case…get ready to pay, _husband_!" I yelled as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Why the fuck are you consulting with lawyers, Bella? This is bullshit and you know it! We are not getting a divorce! I will not allow it…over my dead fucking body will our marriage be dissolved!"

I decided to put one final nail in our marriage coffin.

I slid my rings off my finger once again and threw them at him. "It's too late, Edward. The divorce is happening. I want to be free of you and your lies!"

With that, I stormed into the bathroom and locked the door.

Edward followed me and banged on it relentlessly. "Goddamn it, open the fucking door or I will kick it in, I swear to God!"

"_Edward! Do I need to get my gun, son_?" I could hear Charlie yell from downstairs.

"Go Edward!" I yelled again.

I heard one final pound on the door and then his voice, "Fine…I'm leaving…but remember this…_sweetheart_…that money that you used to buy that fucking car you love so much…was _my_ money! You will be sorry for this Bella. You are not going to _divorce_ me and if you want to do this the hard way…so be it."

My body slid down the door until I reached the bathroom floor.

How did I get here?

_**A/N…If you want to review and let me know what you are thinking…I will send you a snippet from Chapter 1. **_

_**Please come visit the thread over at Twilighted and have a chat about your thoughts on the story. **__**http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=10046**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for joining me on this journey with this story! You are getting this story earlier than I had originally anticipated because she edits through my chapters so very quickly!**_

_**Also, thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading this and sharing her thoughts with me! But…don't go bugging her for secrets to the story because she is not going to tell! LOL!**_

_**See you Sunday!**_


	2. He was my Everything

_**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in this story. Stephenie Meyer owns them all (lucky). I am just having some fun and gathering entertainment from them. I have changed the name of the radio show discussed in this story but I do not own the real one!**_

_**A/N…If you would like to see pictures from this story you can visit this link…**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)**__**com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Right now I have pictures up of the main characters as how I picture them for this story. **_

Chapter 1

BPOV

_**Thursday: August 14, 2008, Age 24 **_

I could not believe it. Something was not right. I knew that there was something going on…I could feel it in my gut.

It had been Edward and me my whole life. We grew up together…our parents were best friends…we had the same circle of friends including his brother and sister and their significant others.

Edward and I were married right out of high school. We wanted to go away to college together as husband and wife.

Our friends were supportive but our parents were doubtful that we would be able to make it work at such a young age. They knew we were very much in love but they also knew the hardships of making a marriage work.

However, we could not be apart. Therefore, we did it. We were married a month after our high school graduation.

We always had a very healthy sex life. When I say healthy…I mean…very _healthy_…as in we were never able to get enough of one another.

We always made time for each other and for our sexual appetites.

Edward and I had been married for seven years this past June. We did not celebrate our anniversary…he had to _work_. Nor did we celebrate his birthday…_also_ in June. His sister, Alice, and I, threw him a surprise party…that he did not show up for…allegedly also because of _work_.

He had been cold and distant…for a while now…and I suppose I only had myself to blame. You see, we had been trying to get pregnant for the last year and a half. Okay, let me rephrase that…_I_ was trying to get pregnant for the last year and a half. Edward did not seem interested in it anymore.

We decided we would get pregnant after we had both finished college. However, we still continued to put it off and I was frustrated. Finally, Edward came home one day and said he wanted us to start trying. I was the happiest I had ever been.

Edward went to medical school and finished in the top of his class. Sure, he studied all the time and I was lonely…but I knew the price we would pay for his dreams. I was fine with it. I had my own dreams…of becoming a famous writer. Nevertheless, I put those on hold to make a comfortable home for him. I graduated from college, but I still had yet to do anything with my degree.

The plan was for me to be the caretaker of the house…the children…and to be the doting doctor's wife. Edward had this perfect vision of wanting what his parents had. His father would go to work every day and was one of the town's most beloved doctors. Esme stayed home and provided a happy, loving environment for their children and Carlisle.

Edward seemed as if that was what he expected for us as well.

As long as I had my Edward, I was okay with that. But when I finally talked him into starting our family…we discovered a problem. We were having a very hard time getting pregnant. We went to see a specialist and he ran many tests. They discovered that I had only one ovary and that it was a lazy ovary. The doctor said this should not make it _impossible_ for me to get pregnant but it could be quite difficult.

We left the office discouraged but Edward told me that we would do whatever necessary to have a baby. It was fun at first. We were going at it like bunnies. He was coming home whenever I called and asked him to because I was ovulating. I would go to the hospital and 'surprise' him. It was as if we were teenagers all over again.

Edward always had a very healthy sexual appetite. Even when we had sex for the first time…both being, virgins…it was different from experiences I heard about from other women. Edward lasted much longer than I had heard guys last their first time. I did not think he was ever going to stop.

While it was painful at first…he was so gentle that the experience was incredible for me and I did cum our first time together…where I have heard most virgin girls do not have that experience their first time. I felt very lucky…blessed…and satisfied with my Edward.

I never could figure out what Edward saw in me. When I would express this to him, he would tell me I was being absurd and that I did not see myself clearly. He told me that I was the most beautiful girl in the world…_his_ girl to be exact…and that I was his best friend.

I could not remember the last time he said that to me though.

Things came to a head a few weeks ago.

_**Flashback**_

_**I had called and asked him to come home because I was ovulating. He made it through the door and there was no foreplay…nothing. He just pulling at my clothes…not even offering me a kiss. We had been rough before but he was kind of hurting me this time.**_

_**I pushed him off me. "Edward what's wrong with you?"**_

"_**I'm just giving you what you want Bella. All you fucking care about is getting pregnant so let's get to it. I need to fuck you so I can get back to work. I do have a fucking job and people who depend on me!"**_

_**The tears stung my eyes. But I did not want to let them fall…Edward hated it when I cried. He always told me it broke his heart. Even though he had just hurt me…something he was doing a lot lately…I did not want to hurt him in return.**_

"_**I depend on you too," I said in a shaky voice that did not mask the fact I was about to cry…as I had hoped.**_

_**He rolled off me. "Jesus Bella…are you going to fucking cry? The water works are not going to work today sweetheart. Are we going to do this or can I go back to work?"**_

"_**Just go," I sobbed as I rolled over and away from him.**_

"_**Fine, don't wait up. I'm working a double shift." Then he got up from the bed and left me there to cry.**_

_**Of course, he was working a double shift. For the last few months, he always worked a double shift. It felt as if he was avoiding being around me.**_

_**Something did not feel right. I had been suspicious for a while that he was cheating on me…but I was too afraid to find out the truth. I made a decision about four hours later and I decided to go to the hospital and apologize…to try to work things out after what had just happened.**_

_**Only…when I drove to the hospital…I did not see my husband's car in the parking lot. I walked in to the nurses' station and asked them to page Dr. Edward Cullen. We always had to distinguish between Edward and Carlisle or both of them would show up if they only paged 'Dr. Cullen' since he and his father both worked here.**_

_**The nurse looked up at me and said, "Do you mean Dr. Carlisle Cullen?"**_

"_**No, I mean Edward."**_

"_**Oh well, I'm sorry. Dr. Edward Cullen got off from his shift two hours ago. But I can page Dr. Carlisle for you…he's Edward's father."**_

_**I could not move…breathe…or speak. He got off two hours ago. Where the hell was he? **_

_**Oh…my…god…he was cheating on me.**_

_**My fears were real…and why didn't this bitch know who I was?**_

"_**Miss? Would you like me to page his father?"**_

_**I shook my head. "No, that won't be necessary."**_

_**I turned and left.**_

_**End flashback.**_

I did not question Edward about it because I knew he would get defensive and probably not tell me the truth. The next day I went to lunch with Alice and Rosalie.

Alice was Edward's twin sister, while Rosalie was married to his brother Emmett. Alice was married to Rose's brother, Jasper. I told them about what had been going on in my marriage. They both assured me that it all had to be a misunderstanding because Edward would never do something like that to me.

I still had my doubts and suspicions.

After lunch that day, I made the choice that led me to where I was at today. We had a radio show here in Seattle on my favorite channel in the mornings. The two disc jockeys on the show always did a segment on Thursdays called _Rose Wars_ with Wendy and Adam.

In this segment, they would call someone's significant other to find out if they were cheating or not. The woman, Wendy always called the person in question and offered them a dozen free red roses. She would then tell them that they would be sent to the person of their choice. She then got the person to give her a name for the card and a greeting for her to write on there.

All you had to do was email the morning show with your story and Wendy and Adam would read over them and decide whom they wanted to pick each week.

I emailed them the same day that I had my lunch with Rose and Alice. Monday they called and said that I had been picked for this week's show. This was it. I was going to find out if Edward was cheating on me or not.

I was extremely nervous. I had hardly eaten since Monday when I found out I would be on this week's show. I had to know and finally I was going to get my answer. I was scared. While one part of me tried to tell myself I was being, silly…the other part of me was telling me a woman always knew and something was definitely off about Edward.

I called the radio station and waited for them to bring me into the show. Once they got to me…I had to explain my story to everyone. I had to talk about the email that I wrote and why I suspected my husband of cheating. It was humiliating to talk about this with strangers.

I did not know what else to do.

Adam spoke to me, "Okay Bella…Wendy is going to call Edward and offer him the flowers. Now no matter who he sends them to…I am going to have to cut in and tell him you've been listening and why we're doing this. Okay? Are you ready?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm ready," I said shakily. One way or another, this was all going to be out in the open soon. I was just praying it went the way I wanted it to go.

They dialed my husband's cell phone number. "Hello?"

"Yes can I speak to Edward please?" Wendy said to him.

"This is Edward."

"Hi! This is Cathy from plants and flowers dot com…"

"Listen…I'm a doctor and I'm very busy so I'm really not interested…" he tried to cut her off but she cut him off in return.

"I just want to take a minute of your time Edward. I'll be very quick. I just started a new business and website and you have been randomly selected to receive a dozen free red roses. They can be sent anywhere in the Continental U.S. free of charge.

"You don't have to give me any credit card information…just a name and address of who you want the flowers sent to. All I ask for in return is that you allow me to send you one catalogue. I hope that the person you send the flowers to will be so happy with them that you will come back and use my services again. But if you don't order anything out of the one catalogue that I send you…I will never send you one again. Does that sound good?"

"Wow…a dozen red roses and I can send them to whoever I want?"

"Yes, that's correct."

"And I don't have to give you any credit card information?"

"Nope. They are completely free."

"Well alright…that sounds really good actually."

"Super! So let me just get the name you want put on the card first of all."

"Okay…they're going to go to _Lauren_."

I covered my hand with my mouth so I would not scream.

"Alright…and is that L a u r e n?" Wendy asked as she spelled out Lauren's name.

Lauren was…a nurse at the hospital. She hated me. Edward always told me…that she was _harmless_. He always said she never hit on him or anything.

What the fuck?

"Yes that's correct."

"Edward, what would you like for the greeting to say?"

"Um…just put…'thinking of you and I can't wait to see you tonight'."

He told me he was doing another double shift tonight.

Adam cut in now. I had dropped the phone from my hands and wrapped my arms around myself. I was down on the floor gasping for air.

I could only hear the radio in the other room. Adam said, "Well…actually Edward…this is Wendy and Adam from 97.1 WBJ and we can send the roses to Lauren…but you should know that your wife, Bella has been listening in this whole time. She called us because she suspected that you were cheating on her and we offered to send the roses to see who you would send them to. And I have to say buddy…what do you have to say for yourself?"

"_Bella_?" I could barely hear Edward say my name because he said it so softly.

"Bella…are you still with us sweetie?" Wendy said.

I could hear all three of them calling my name but I could not move.

After a few minutes…I heard nothing.

Shortly after my ears started tuning everything out, I did hear tires squeal. Alice and Rose barged through the front door and were kneeling in front of me. "Oh God. Rose she looks awful!" Alice cried.

"Bells…Bells…come on snap out of it honey. We heard the radio show. Sweetie. Come on talk to us Bella!" Rose said to me.

"We need to get her out of here. Judging from the way Edward hung up so quickly…he's probably on his way here now and I don't think she's ready to see him."

I was slightly aware of being helped up off the ground…and walked out to Rose's car. I just felt…_numb_.

More tires squealed as they pulled into our driveway. My _husband_ got out of his Volvo, slamming the door.

"Where are you going with her? I need to talk to her." He said to them.

"No you don't! You are lucky I am more concerned with Bella right now you no good piece of shit! If I wasn't in such a hurry to get her out of here and away from you I would kick your sorry ass myself!" Rose spat at him.

Edward turned to his sister, "Ali…come on…let me talk to her please. Please, _sis_?" He begged.

"Don't you _sis_ me! Edward you are a fucking idiot! Does she look like she's in any shape to talk to anyone? Just back off! You've done enough," Alice said to him.

The girls pushed me into the backseat of the car and shut the door. Rose got in the driver's seat while Alice hopped into the back to hold me while I sobbed into her chest.

Rose locked the doors so Edward could not open them. It did not stop him from trying. Edward banged on the window, "Bella _please_. I am begging you. Give me a chance to explain. Please don't leave like this."

I did not look at him. I just let the tears fall. It was the first time I cried since I heard him say _her_ name instead of mine.

Why did he do this to me?

He was my everything.

_**A/N…Thanks to dolphin62598 for betaing this for me. She is fabulous! If you have not done so before, you should really go check out her profile and read anything that she writes!**_

_**http:/ww(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/u/1715985/dolphin62598**_

_**Also thank you to teacher1209 for pre-reading this! Love to hear your thoughts bb!**_

_**Story Recommendation for the week:**_

_Unthinkable__** by **__TotallyObsessed82_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6002781/1/Unthinkable**_

_**This story is only two chapters in but I love it so far and think I am sure it is only going to get better! You should give it a shot!**_

**__****If you leave a review...you will receive a snippet of Chapter 2. **


	3. How Did I Let This Happen?

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. **_

_**A/N…Alright friends…each chapter will alternate E and B POV. This chapter we get to hear from Edward. **_

_**Warning: When Edward has his flashback…he discusses sex with someone else. It is not a lemon by any means but just wanted to give you fair warning. **_

Chapter 2

EPOV

_**Thursday: August 14, 2008, Age 25**_

_Fuck me!_

Those were the only two words on repeat in my mind. I never wanted her to find out this way…_honestly_…I never wanted her to find out at all.

I intended to break it off with Lauren tonight. That was why I made the card say that I could not wait to see her. I was ready to end things and try to fix my marriage…if it was _fixable_.

I knew what I was doing was wrong and I could not continue hurting my Bella…even though I knew she did not know…I still felt as if I was betraying her and I absolutely was.

However, now, I was fuming because of my wife's actions this morning.

How could she air out all of our dirty laundry for all of Seattle to fucking hear? It pissed me off that she would do something like that.

I told my supervisor at the hospital I had to leave for the day and they would have to make do without me. I had to get home and talk to Bella.

The looks I received from some of the nurses who were just coming to work embarrassed me. They were probably listening to the fucking radio show in their car.

That was just brilliant.

My emotions passed back and forth between regret, hurt and anger on the drive home.

The truth was…Bella started slipping away from me a while ago. As soon as we started trying to get fucking pregnant…our relationship became strained.

When I arrived at our house, of course, Rose and my meddlesome sister were there taking Bella away from me.

I begged them to let me speak to her.

They refused and I had to watch her drive away in the back of that fucking car sobbing into my sister's arms. She was inconsolable.

Our marriage was not perfect by any means…but I had committed the greatest sin…I deserved to be fucking shot for my adulterous betrayal.

I made my way into our now empty home and started drinking. That was probably not the brightest idea…it was part of the reason for this whole mess in the first place.

Drinking led me to fucking Lauren…literally.

However…I needed to feel numb…the alcohol had helped me out with that thus far over the last few months…why stop now?

Having a baby was supposed to bring joy to a couple and in the beginning; I wanted children with Bella more than anything.

However, if having a baby with her would ultimately cost me my wife as it had…I wanted no part of it.

Bella and I had been together forever. She was always my everything. She still had not gotten a full time job because she wanted to make our house a happy home and raise our kids.

I tried not to make her feel like she needed to do that but a part of me wanted what my parents had. My mother was the perfect little homemaker and took care of us kids while Dad brought home the bacon. Then, once we were all grown and on our own, she finally started her career.

She put her interior design degree to good use at that time.

It was important for my children to have the kind of childhood that I had and it was not as if Bella and I were hurting for money.

I sat on our couch, with a bottle of whiskey in my hand chugging it while I stared at our wedding picture on the mantle.

We were insanely happy that day.

How did I let everything become so fucked?

Why did I ever for one moment think that sticking my dick in Lauren Mallory would solve any of our problems?

Lauren approached me when I was vulnerable and _drunk_.

Bella and I had been steadily pulling away from each other. I knew that she did not notice it but I did. All Bella could think about was having babies.

That was all she saw me for…a baby making machine. I was going to give her what she wanted…or well I was supposed to give her that.

Unfortunately, baby making was not easy for us.

I was a fucking doctor though. I knew that Bella's ovary issue should not make us completely incapable of getting pregnant. That made me wonder if it was just not in the cards for us.

When I brought this to Bella's attention, she hit the roof.

_**Flashback Three Months Ago**_

_**It was getting harder to watch my wife take pregnancy test after pregnancy test and pick up the pieces of her devastation when they came back negative.**_

_**Sitting at the foot of our bed, holding Bella in my arms as she sobbed…I finally said what had been on my mind for several weeks.**_

"_**Baby, what if it's just not meant to be?"**_

_**She gasped and pulled away from me. Her tear-stained eyes were wide in horror. "What are you saying, Edward?"**_

"_**What if we're just not meant to be parents?"**_

_**She jumped up from the bed and began pacing in front of me. Her anger was clearly visible. Bella was done crying and downright pissed now.**_

"_**I don't know how you can say that to me! Perhaps **__you're__** not meant to be a dad but I was born to be a mother! I won't stop until I am one!"**_

_**I was furious!**_

_**What the fuck did she mean by that?**_

_**I stood up and walked towards her to stop her from pacing. I grasped her shoulders and forced her to look at me.**_

"_**What the fuck does that mean Bella? What do you mean maybe I'm not meant to be a dad?"**_

"_**Just what I said. What's the matter, Edward? Did I hit a nerve? How can you be a good father when you are never home? All you do is work! When you are here…you're not **__really__** here! Your mind is still on your patients who cannot live without the great Dr. Cullen!"**_

"_**That's not fair and you know it Bella! I have to work! Someone has to pay the bills!"**_

_**I felt her hand fly across my cheek before I even realized she had slapped me.**_

"_**How dare you! I have put my career on hold…for you! I became the perfect little doctor's housewife that you could show off on your arm…because it was what you wanted! And now you have the audacity to fucking throw it back in my face!"**_

_**She was right but I was too pissed to care. It was dumb that we were fighting about this anyway. I had plenty of money sitting in a bank account that was never touched…from my grandfather. People heard the name Cullen and always associated it with money. It was probably not as large of an amount as people would think, but it was plenty.**_

_**So it was absolutely stupid that I turned this fight with her into a fight about money. I was just trying to hit below the belt about her not working because I knew it was a sore subject for her.**_

_**That was our pattern lately.**_

_**She hurt me first…**_

_**I hurt her back…and vice versa.**_

"_**Oh really, Bella? You would actually be able to stop worrying about fucking spreading your legs and making me get you pregnant long enough to go out and get a goddamn job?"**_

"_**Get out! Get out! GET OUT!" She screamed at me.**_

"_**GLADLY!" I yelled back to her.**_

_**That was the first night Lauren came on to me and I actually liked it.**_

_**She was always coming on to me at work and it disgusted me because I was a happily married man. **_

_**But as I was sitting at the bar across from the hospital that we all frequented sometimes after work, her advances were suddenly making me feel wanted. **_

_**That was something Bella had not done for me in a long time.**_

_**She treated me as her own personal baby maker…not a husband…or lover. **_

_**Then she was frustrated that I could not provide her with one. Sure, she never came out and told me that to my face, but I could see it in her eyes.**_

_**Nothing happened that first night that I actually enjoyed Lauren's company and her advances…but things heated up between us two days later. **_

_**I was in the on-call room taking a nap. Bella and I were still not talking after our most recent fight.**_

_**I was in the middle of the most erotic dream I had ever had about my wife when I felt a hand going down into my scrub bottoms. I was asleep and thought it was part of the dream. This dream contained Bella and me on a beach with no clothing. **_

_**That's when I realized in my dream we were both completely naked so I should not feel something going down into my pants.**_

_**My eyes shot open and I saw Lauren pulling my scrub bottoms down and about to take my rock-hard erection into her mouth.**_

_**My hands grasped her hair to stop her…but instead…I fucking pushed her mouth down onto my goddamn cock.**_

_**It was the dumbest, most fucked up decision, I had ever made.**_

_**That one stupid move led me to where I was today.**_

_**The blowjob she gave me was okay…Bella's were better…but Bella had not wanted anything like that from me in months. She was all about ovulating and sex on a schedule.**_

_**I could count on one hand the amount of oral sex we had with one another since we started working on getting pregnant.**_

_**Bella seriously made me feel as if she did not want me anymore…and it cut me deep. A part of me wanted to hurt her back and it was juvenile but it was the truth.**_

_**At least, with the blowjob Lauren gave me, I felt desired.**_

_**That one thing in the on-call room turned into our first sexual tryst later that night. I sent Bella a text telling her that I had to work a double.**_

_**Instead, I went back to Lauren's place and fucked her until she did not know her own name. She did not care how rough I got with her and I did not want anything that was even close to lovemaking with her.**_

_**I knew I was a scumbag but I had a lot of tension to release.**_

_**When I finally returned home, Bella was in the kitchen making me my favorite meal. She was in tears and could not apologize enough for how badly she behaved during our last fight.**_

_**That made me feel like an even bigger piece of shit.**_

_**We made up and she wanted us to make love…even though she was not ovulating. I felt hope again that we could save our marriage. **_

_**She never had to know about my mistake. That was all it would ever be…and Bella never had to know.**_

_**I told her that I needed to take a shower first because I felt dirty after being in these clothes for two shifts.**_

_**Oh, I felt dirty all right. There was not enough soap in the world to cleanse me of the sins I had fucking committed against my beautiful wife.**_

_**Because I was an even bigger dirt bag than you previously thought, when Bella came to me in the shower and insisted that I fucked her, I obliged…even though I had just fucked Lauren several hours before coming home.**_

_**I was the lowest form of human there ever was.**_

_**This was not news to me…but I could not change what was already done.**_

_**Bella never had to know.**_

_**That was my mantra.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Unfortunately, that day just started a vicious cycle. Bella and I would fight. She would make me feel as if she did not love me and I would turn to Lauren for sexual comfort.

Lauren and I even became friends. I felt like I could talk to her…as if she actually listened to me where Bella did not.

Bella never wanted to discuss anything anymore unless you said the word baby.

I was broken from my reflections by the sound of my cell phone ringing. I jumped from the couch to go find where I had left it.

It was on the bar in the kitchen.

Disappointment washed over me as I read the name on the caller ID.

_Lauren_

Not Bella.

I let it go to voicemail.

I waited a few minutes and then listened to what she had to say.

"_Eddie, please pick up. I need to talk to you. I miss you terribly. Where are you? Call me back okay? I love you."_

Shit…

That was another problem. Lauren told me she loved me for the first time last night. I felt nothing even close to love for her.

Part of me was actually disgusted by her…because she was carrying on such a relationship with a married man.

Yes, I was aware that I was also a hypocrite. I could not help the way I felt about her though.

I would never feel anything for anyone the way that I felt for my Bella.

And there was my answer…right there.

Somehow…someway…I needed to fix things with my wife.

I was going to contact Lauren and break things off with her…for good.

I was not going to let Bella get away so easily.

Yes…we were going to mend what was broken.

I was sure of it.

_**A/N…If you leave a review, I will send you a snippet of Chapter 3 which will be BPOV and we will find out what is happening with her since she left their house with Rose and Alice.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 and her fabulousness! Thanks for everything girl!**_

_**Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading! You rock!**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Lethal to Virtue__** by **__TheBondGirls_

http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5911891/3/Lethal_to_Virtue

_**I am loving this story!**_

**_One more important announcement...my awesome beta dolphin62598 is in the "Till Death Do Us Part" contest being hosted by _**_twigirlsnextdoor_****

**_http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2205991/twigirlsnextdoor_**

**__****I would greatly appreciate it if you would go and check out her one-shot called We're Married. It is a fabulous little diddy and I don't think you will be disappointed. If you love it, please show her some love and go vote for her in this contest! The voting on this closes on June 13th so hurry on over!**

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5952464/1/Were_Married**_


	4. Can't Get Out Of Bed

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

Chapter 3

BPOV

_**Sunday: August 17**__**th**__**, 2008: Age 24**_

_We were rolling around in our meadow. Everyone was driving us crazy with the wedding preparations. We just wanted to be alone._

"_I love you Bella, so much," he whispered._

"_I love you too, Edward. You're my everything."_

"_Promise me baby…promise me you'll always feel that way," he pleaded as he started undressing me._

"_I promise, Edward. There will never be anyone but you," I assured him._

_Then I heard _**her**_ speak in the distance._

"_But __**you**__ won't always be the __**only**__ one for __**him**__ ugly Swan. He'll want me…and he will have me…over and over…I'll make him feel like you never could. I will fuck him the way he wants it and not make him feel like he is just a baby machine."_

"_Edward what's she talking about?" I asked as I grasped at him. He was pulling away from me._

"_She's right. I'm sorry, Bella. It's over. I love Lauren. She doesn't need kids. I want her. You were never good enough for me anyway."_

"_No! Come back Edward! Please! I love you!"_

"**NO**!" I screamed as I sat up straight as a board in bed.

My hair was stuck to my sweaty forehead and I was sure I looked like a mess.

I had been having that same nightmare since Thursday.

Wait…what day was it now?

All I had done since arriving at Alice and Jasper's house was sleep. I lacked the energy to do anything else.

I thought about getting out of bed…but then I remembered…my husband was a lying, cheating, no good, son of a bitch…and I had no clue what I was going to do with my life now.

Fuck it!

What was the point?

I fell back to the bed, pulled the covers over my head, and shut out the world some more.

"_This is ridiculous! She hasn't eaten, Alice. You're just letting her mope and sleep!"_

"_Rose, she just found out that the love of her life has been cheating on her for god only knows how long. What would you rather I do? She needs to grieve!"_

"_Yes, but this is killing her. We can't let her keep on this way. We need to at least get her ass out of that bed and make her fucking eat! Besides, she needs to bathe! She's been in those pajamas since Thursday night. She stinks, Ali!"_

I came to and finally opened my eyes to see Rose and Alice sitting on the bed.

"You need to get out of this fucking bed or I am going to throw you out of it!" Rose yelled at me. "You are better than this Bella Swan! I will kick your ass if you don't stop this shit!"

"Cullen," I sobbed. "My…name…is…Bella…fucking…_Cullen_!"

I buried my head into the pillow and curled into a ball.

I felt the bed dip on each side of me. Alice was lying in front of me and she pulled my arm over her. Rose spooned me from behind and held me tight.

I sobbed into my best friends and drifted to sleep once more.

When I woke up again later, Alice was rubbing my forehead with a damp washcloth cooing to me almost as if I were her baby.

"What time is it Alice?" I whispered.

"It's almost two. Rose went to grab some…_food_…and while she is out, she is picking up something for your stomach. She should be back soon…she just called."

"My stomach?" I asked in confusion.

"You don't remember?"

I shook my head no.

"Well, we cuddled with you until you were all cried out and had fallen back asleep. We fell asleep with you and then when we woke up we decided…we were starving. Rose went out to get food and I started some laundry. I heard you screaming and when I came back up here, you were throwing up in the bathroom. I think you had another nightmare."

"Oh, no I don't remember that. I remember before I fell asleep again but not the throwing up after. My stomach does hurt."

"Well Bells, you didn't have anything to throw up. You haven't eaten since Thursday night when you got here. You need to eat, okay?"

All I could do was nod.

"I called Rose and told her about your stomach so she said she would pick up some Pepto Bismol for you."

"Thanks, Ali. I don't know what I would do without you."

"Well…you've got me. I don't care if Edward is my brother, Bella. He is an asshole! I can't believe he even…"

I put my hand up to stop her.

I choked back my tears and said, "Alice, please. I can't do this right now."

"You're right, I'm sorry," she responded.

We sat in silence until we heard the front door open downstairs signaling that Rose had returned.

"Do you want to take a shower and clean up? I'll have some clothes laid out for you and then you can take something for your stomach before you eat."

I nodded.

I went to the bathroom and started the shower. I started undressing while I waited for the water to warm up and I caught a glance at myself in the mirror.

I looked awful.

Who was this woman staring back at me?

Who was I without Edward?

I had always had him to lean on…to take care of me.

I felt as if I was nothing without him.

Bella did not exist without Edward…did she?

How was I going to find her?

I heard a soft knock on the bathroom door. "Yes?" I asked.

"Bells, I laid some clothes out on the bed for you. The Pepto is on the nightstand. Take some after you dress. Then come down and eat with us, alright?" Alice requested.

"Yes, _Mom_," I replied snippier than I intended.

She must not have heard me over the water. "What was that?" she asked.

"Nothing…thanks Ali."

"You're welcome, Bells. I love you."

"I love you too," I told her.

She had always been my best _girl_ friend. Edward _was_ my best friend in the world.

I was not sure he was any longer…friends were not supposed to rip out other friend's hearts.

Of course, neither were husbands. They were supposed to love and cherish their wives…not tear them apart.

I wished that my mom were still alive. She died in a horrible car accident a year after Edward and I had gotten married. I would not have made it through her death without him. He was my rock.

My dad pretty much shut himself off from everyone after her death. He never approved of Edward and I getting married at all. Our parents were worried but Mom, Carlisle and Esme at least came around to the idea.

When we took our vows, Edward was eighteen already but I was still only seventeen. My mom signed for me to marry him. My father refused. He told us that no good could come of us marrying that young.

Apparently, he was right. I could not face him and hear his "_I told you so's_."

My mom was our biggest supporter…even more so than Carlisle and Esme. She told me that she knew Edward and I were destined to be together. She said we would get through anything that was thrown at us because we had that once in a lifetime kind of love…the same as her and dad or Carlisle and Esme.

She really believed in us. Edward was like a son to her. She would be able to tell me what to do in this situation.

I really needed her right now. I would run back to her in Forks in a heartbeat if she were still there.

I let my thoughts consume me as I finally stepped into the shower.

We were all living in Seattle because we wanted to stay together at UoW. Edward was completing his residency at Seattle General Hospital. He was ahead of schedule in his curriculum and the youngest resident because as much as I hated to admit it, he was brilliant. In addition, being the son of the great Dr. Carlisle Cullen had earned him certain advantages that other students did not have.

Emmett played football for UoW and blew out his knee freshman year. Now he was their head football coach because he was that good. Rose was currently going to law school there. She surprised all of us. Rose looked like a model. We all expected her to do something in fashion or hell even work on cars since that was her passion.

However, she and her brother Jasper lost their father to a drunk driver when they were very young. The drunk driver lived and there was a good case against him. He had a lot of money and the lawyer was supposed to sue and get some of that money for the Hale family. The lawyer they had was crooked and they ended up getting nothing.

Rose and Jasper watched their mother struggle for years to support them until one day while she was doing a temp job as a secretary in a law office; she met a very nice man. They had a brief courtship and were married quickly.

The Hale children took a liking to this man right away. Rose was fascinated by everything that her stepfather knew about the law. She looked up to him and as she got older and remembered what their lawyer had to done to them in the past…she vowed that she was going to grow up and become a lawyer to fight for people when they needed it.

Jasper went to UoW to major in music. Everyone teased him about being a free spirit. He was very in tune with everyone's emotions around him and he liked poetry as well as music.

Alice always said he was an amazing lover because he always knew exactly what she wanted and how she was feeling. She thought this had to do with his sensitive nature and his gift of being able to read people.

He learned early on that he was not sure what he was going to do with a degree in music so he turned it into a teaching degree and just received his first job at a high school in Seattle running the music program there for the students. He also worked Friday and Saturday nights playing his music at a local jazz club.

Alice graduated with a degree in fashion marketing and was currently working for the company where she completed her internship. She loved her job. Fashion was always her passion.

I smiled in my head at my little rhyme. It was nice to see that I could at least make myself smile at a time like this.

Everyone but me had a career that they loved.

I was the only one who sat around and did nothing with my degree.

I realized the shower water was getting cold and I was starting to turn into a prune.

As I stepped out of the shower and toweled off, I made a vow to myself…to figure this all out and do something with my degree finally.

I needed to find out who I was…with or without Edward.

I allowed myself to simply be "_Edward's Bella_" for so long and it was time to stop that.

I had no idea if my marriage was fixable…or if I could even fathom taking him back after what he did…but either way…I was going to discover the real Bella.

I wrapped the towel around my body and went to the bedroom. I noticed that the clothes Alice had lain out on the bed…were _my_ clothes.

How did she get those?

I had just finished dressing when Alice knocked on the bedroom door. "Bells are you okay in there?"

"Yeah. Hey, Ali, can you come here?"

Alice opened the door and entered as requested. "What's up, sweetie?"

"How did you get my clothes?"

"Oh, um…well…that was the errand the Rose went to run."

"I thought she was getting food."

"She did…she was….but her first stop was over at your house…to get some of your clothes and your toothbrush."

"I see…was _he_ there?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Alice whispered.

"Did she talk to him?"

"Bella, we're talking about Rose here. It's more like she screamed at him for being such a dumbass. She really gave him a piece of her mind."

"Okay, I'll be down in a minute."

"Alright, Bella. Don't wait too long please. You really need to eat."

I nodded and walked to the side of the bed as she left. I poured my dose of Pepto and drank it down like a good little girl so Alice would not get mad. I cringed as I did because I always hated that stuff.

I was not sure it was going to help the way that my stomach felt anyway but I wanted to humor my sister-in-law.

I heard the low whispers of Alice and Rose talking as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. I made my footsteps softer because I wanted to see what they were saying.

I knew if they were whispering it was more than likely something I was not supposed to hear…which made me want to hear it that much more.

"_We are not going to tell her Alice!"_

"_She has a right to know Rose!"_

"_Why would you want to hurt her like that? No good can come of her finding out that Lauren was at the house when I went over there!"_

"_I have a feeling she is going to want to take him back, Rosalie. I don't want to see him hurt her again! The fact that my idiot brother could be so callous as to have that skank in their home…at all…let alone this soon after everything being found out…it makes me sick! I won't let him hurt her again…brother or not!"_

I tuned them out after that.

Only one part of that conversation was sticking out in my mind.

_Lauren_…was in _my_ house.

_Edward_ had her there.

Wow…he really did not waste any time did he?

_**A/N…Tune in next chapter for EPOV and see why Lauren was at their house.**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 4. **_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for being an amazing beta and friend! And a big thanks to all of you who voted for her one-shot **We're Married **in the **Til Death Do Us Part **contest because SHE WON! So congratulations girl! You deserved it! **_

_**Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading and let me know her thoughts!**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**This story has OWNED me this weekend! **__Shades of Green__** by **__appletreesfall_

_**http:/w**__**ww(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5687739/1/Shades_of_Green**_

_**If you would like to see pictures from this story you can visit this link…**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)**__**com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Right now I have pictures up of the main characters as how I picture them for this story. **_

_**Everyone have a great week! See ya next Thursday!**_


	5. She Has To Take Me Back

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

Chapter 4

EPOV

_**Sunday: August 17**__**th**__**, 2008: Age 25**_

"_Edward…I'm ready," she whispered._

_We were in the backseat of my Volvo. We had been making out hot and heavy for a long time…getting no further than second base. Bella kept putting us on pause._

_She was not ready…never ready._

_I was getting severely sexually frustrated but I would never push her into doing something that she was not ready for._

_However, if Little Edward did not see some action soon besides his hand, he was going to fucking explode._

"_Are you sure baby?" _Please say yes, please say yes_._

"_Yes, I want you inside of me Edward."_

_Thank God!_

_I was just about to slide home when my phone started ringing._

_Wait…that was not how I remember that._

The fucking phone woke me up from my wonderful dream.

_Fucking phone_.

My head was throbbing and I got up from the couch to try to find the offending device so I could silence the insistent ringing.

_Fucking Lauren._

I let it go to voicemail again. There was only one woman I wanted to speak to at the moment and she was not taking my calls.

After my epiphany about saving my marriage Thursday night, I tried to get a hold of Bella. Alice was not speaking to me so it was Jasper who was fielding all of my calls. He said I needed to give it time and leave Bella alone for now.

Time was the last thing we needed.

The more time I gave her…the more time she had to decide to divorce me. I knew that was what I deserved but it sure as hell was not what I _wanted_.

I wanted my wife to come home.

I missed her terribly.

I _needed_ her to come back to me.

I decided right then that I _did_ need to talk to Lauren. I needed to follow through with my plan to end things with her so that I could focus on Bella.

As I sat back down on the couch, I quickly dialed her number.

"_Oh Eddie, thank God you finally called me back! I heard the radio show! I can't believe she found out that way but I'm so glad she did. Now we can be together. I've been trying to get a hold of you since Thursday. Where have you been? She kicked you out didn't she? That no good bitch!"_

Ugh…what did I ever see in her?

I stopped her before she could say anything else and piss me off even further.

"Lauren, I need to talk to you…in person."

"_Great! I'm dying to see you too, lover,"_ she giggled. It irritated me to no end when she fucking giggled like that. There was only one woman's giggle that ever turned me on…and that was my Bella's. Hers was adorable.

I was in no shape to go anywhere. I had spent the last few days drinking and vomiting up the copious amounts of alcohol I had ingested. I had the hangover from hell. There was absolutely no way I should be driving in a car.

Nevertheless, I really wanted this bitch out of my life. I would ask her over here…and keep her only in the living room part of the house. She was not getting anywhere near the sanctity of my bedroom with Bella. I really did not want her in our home at all…but I needed her out of my life…so that I could focus on my angel.

"Lauren, can you come over here to my house?"

I had to hold the phone away from my ear while she squealed in excitement. She had tried in the past to entice me into bringing her back to my home with Bella and I always told her that was never going to happen.

"_Of course! I'll be there in ten minutes. Be ready for me Eddie! Love you," _and then she was gone from the phone.

I could not wait to get this over with.

Cleaning myself up was of no concern until I dealt with Lauren…but I did feel the need for many cups of coffee.

I was just starting to sip my first cup of coffee when I heard the knock on the front door.

Moving quickly, I made my way to the door and yanked it open. Lauren wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed.

I made my way back into the kitchen while prying Lauren's arms off me. "Lauren, could you please get off me?"

"Oh right, sorry. You look like hell sugar. Why are you so upset? Do you want Lauren to make it all better?" She asked as she started for me again.

I could not stand it when she spoke to me that way…it made me quite nauseas. What the fuck was I thinking when I started this thing with her?

_You were thinking with your neglected dick you selfish prick._

I ignored my internal monologue and tried to stop her advances.

"No! I want you to stay over there," I said as I motioned for her to stand by the table. "While I stay over here," I finished as I motioned towards where I stood in front of the sink.

"What's wrong?" She asked with worry on her face. "You should be happy! Bella knows now. We can _finally_ be together. You can be rid of her!"

I told Lauren from the beginning this was nothing more than a friendship with benefits at best. She knew straight up that I loved my wife and did not intend to ever leave her. Why she thought I would be happy about this so that I could start a relationship with her was beyond me.

"I don't want to be rid of her, Lauren! I love my wife. I never promised you anything! It was just sex…that's all you ever were to me. I'm sorry because I know this is going to hurt you…but I told you repeatedly I only wanted sex from this arrangement."

"I know that's what you said…but I just figured that you would change your mind. She didn't want you anymore, Eddie…not like I do. Don't you remember how awful she would make you feel? I can make you feel better than her…like a real man…it will be great if you just give us a chance. I mean, I'm Lauren Mallory…she's Bella…she's a plain, boring, frumpy housewife. I am so much hotter than her!"

I crossed our indivisible boundary line and grasped her shoulders. "Listen to me very _carefully_ Lauren. My wife is anything but _plain_. She makes me completely hard just thinking about how sexy she is. I hate to break it to you…but you were just a warm body that I could use. Most of the time…I imagined Bella when I was with you…it was the only way that I could cum. You do not affect me like that and you never will.

"_Now_, I want you to leave my house and my life. I am getting my wife back and we will live happily ever after. You are nothing to me…absolutely nothing. I want to be free of you and fix things with Bella. I _need_ her…_want_ her…and _love_ her more than anyone else…_ever_. Do you _understand_ me? Have I made myself _clear_?"

I was hoping my voice was coming across as menacing. She needed to get the point and get out of our lives.

Tears started falling from her eyes.

She nodded.

"I can't believe you're doing this to me," she cried.

"Well believe it…you will never be as good as Bella. Please leave!"

She slapped me across the face and I dropped my hands from her shoulders. I deserved that.

At the beginning of our affair, I found Lauren to be a friend that I could talk to about things with Bella. That was a mistake in many ways…but she did not deserve to be treated this way anymore than Bella had. They were both the victims and I was the scumbag breaking both of their hearts.

Recently…she had become to clingy to me…even though she knew all that she was to me.

"I'll leave…but you will miss me."

"I _won't_…let me show you to the door."

I followed her back towards the way we had entered. When I opened my front door, Rose was standing there with her hand raised about to knock.

"Well, well, well…if it isn't the wicked whore of the west!"

"Fuck you, Rose!"

Lauren knew all of my family because of all the work parties that the entire family had attended.

"No thanks, hon, I'd be afraid I would catch some nasty disease!"

Rose did not wait for me to invite her into the house…she simply entered on her own.

"She was leaving, Rose, please let it go," I pleaded with her.

"You don't get to say anything to me you no good bastard! Does your mother know what you have done yet? She is going to be so disappointed in you. I don't think you are going to be the favorite any longer you piece of shit!"

Lauren tapped Rose on the shoulder to get her to look at her. When Rose turned to her, Lauren started running that mouth of hers. "Do not talk to _my_ Eddie that way! He is much better off without that worthless hag he called wife!"

Rose pulled her right arm back and decked the crap out of Lauren…right in her perfect little nose that her daddy had paid for.

She grabbed her nose and started cursing at Rose.

"You'll be sorry you _bitch_!" Lauren shrieked at her.

Rose smirked and said, "I already am sorry…sorry that my delicate eyes had to see your ugly ass!"

Lauren stormed out to her car after that holding her nose the entire way.

"Rose, what are you doing here?"

I was praying that she was here to set up a meeting between Bella and me. I knew that was a long shot but a guy could hope.

"Don't talk to me Edward! I am only here to get some of Bella's clothes."

She made her way to our bedroom and then the closet. She pulled out the duffle bag that Bella always used when she went to the gym.

Rose was frantically throwing clothes into the bag and then she went to the bathroom and started grabbing toiletries.

"Please, Rosalie. How is she doing?" I asked her while she was zipping up the bag.

She turned and glared at me.

"How the fuck do you _think_ she's doing Edward? She has always been there for you…given you everything…and you betrayed her in the worst way that a man can betray his wife! She is completely _devastated_! You are not even fit to breathe the same air as her. You make me sick! You wait until your parents hear about this. You'll be lucky if they don't completely write you out of their will! You are worthless!

"Better yet…wait until your _brother_ finds out! He adores Bella as if she were his own sister! He has always protected the both of you! But…don't worry. I'm not going to tell him…that is your responsibility. You need to man up and tell everyone what a loser you are!"

I had not even thought about how Emmett or my parents would react to this news. It was hard enough to see how much my betrayal had destroyed my sister as it was. But no one understood what I had gone through.

It might not have justified what I did…but _fuck_…they just did not know! My wife had seriously turned cold to me…making me feel as if she hated me for not being able to give her a baby. She would not listen to any alternative suggestions that I had to offer. Nothing was good enough…I was not good enough for her.

Rose turned back to grab the bag. She hoisted it over her shoulder and started to leave the room. I followed her because I was not finished with this conversation.

"Wait just a goddamn minute Rose! I know that what I did was wrong…but it's not as if Bella walks on water and we had the perfect marriage to begin with! Obviously there were issues with _both_ of us or I would not have _strayed_!"

We reached the bottom of the stairs and she turned to glare at me again. Only this time…if looks could kill…I truly would have been a goner.

"Edward…you are a despicable excuse for a man if you are seriously going to stand here and try to reason with me as to why you decided to stick your dick in someone other than your wife! You are the worst kind of loser. You don't deserve her," she said as she spun on her heels and headed towards the front door.

"I know," I whispered so low that even I could barely hear it.

She stopped with her hand on the doorknob and sighed.

Rose did not say anything so I continued.

"I know that I am horrible…and that I don't deserve her, Rose. But I fucking love her. I swear that I do. There has to be a way to fix this. I'm nothing without her. Would you please tell her that I love her…always and I would like the chance talk to her?" Tears were falling down my face before I could even attempt to stop them. It killed me to know how much I had broken my wife.

I knew that my betrayal was even worse because we had always been closer than just husband and wife. We were soul mates…best friends since diapers. We had never been apart…never separated and in a few short months and one bad decision after another I had fucked everything up that was important to me.

Rose sighed heavily and finally started speaking. She turned to look at me and her expression softened when she saw my tears.

"You're my brother-in-law. I always thought you were a decent guy. I never dreamed that you would ever do this…not _you_. I don't even know what else to say, Edward. You are right about one thing…you are nothing without her. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever known. If you're lucky, you two will get passed this…but if I am being honest…I hope that you don't. You're not good enough for her."

With that, she opened the door and left my home.

Home…what fucking home? This house was no home without my wife in it. We picked it out together.

I broke down even further after I heard her car leave and I started breaking everything in the living room that I could manage to destroy.

I took the frame that held our wedding photo and threw it into the wall in a fit of rage. Then when I realized what I had done, I ran to where it was broken into bits and pieces. Luckily, the photo was still intact.

I pulled the photo out and ran my finger gingerly over Bella's form. She was smiling so brightly. Would I ever get to see her smile that way again and know that I put it there?

As I held the picture to my chest, I cried.

I cried for the pain I had caused my wife…and my family.

I cried for the baby we would never have together…because deep down…I knew…she was never going to forgive this and come back to me. What I did was unforgiveable.

If the situation was reversed…I knew…I would never forgive her or take her back into my arms. I could never be with her if she had betrayed our marital vows. I knew it was awful for me to feel that way but it was true. I was so possessive of her…_caveward_ she would sometimes call me. If she had let another man touch her in a sexual way, I would not be able to contain my anger for her or the man.

Gut-wrenching sobs left my body until I fell into total darkness.

The annoying sound of my phone awakened me once again. I really needed to throw that damn thing away…it was not as if Bella was going to call me any time soon.

I crawled across the floor on my hands and knees, slowly, avoiding as much glass and broken things as I could through the living room. I did not even have the strength to get up and walk to my phone. When I reached it, I saw that it was _Lauren_.

What the hell did she want _now_? She had just left. Didn't she realize my dumping her was the best thing that could have happened to her? She should just move on and leave it be.

I looked through my call log and my text message inbox. Jesus Christ…I had twenty missed calls and fifty text messages.

They were all from _Lauren_.

The very first message was the only one that I listened to.

"_Edward, you have no idea what you have done. You'll be sorry that you broke my heart. You have not heard the last of me. I love you and you need to love me back!"_

I only read one of the text messages. It said almost the same thing and it was attached to a naked picture of her.

I immediately deleted everything.

I was going to change my cell number and make sure Bella had the new one. Lauren did not need to able to get a hold of me any longer.

That bitch was clearly unstable if she thought I was going to go back to her. All I wanted was my Bella.

She had to come back to me…there was no life for me without her…and there was no other option for me. If she refused to take me back…I did not know what I would do.

_**A/N…Okay so…I am sure you are all still hating on Edward…and that's okay…you should be! LOL. Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 5 which will be in BPOV and we will see what she has been up to since hearing about Lauren being at the house.**_

_**Come visit the thread for this story over at Twilighted!**_

_**http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=10046&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&sid=&start=40**_

_**Also, don't forget, I have a website that has pictures of the characters of the story that have been introduced so far and how I picture them for this. **_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)**__**com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Thanks so much to my beta dolphin62598 and congratulations once again to her for winning a one-shot contest hosted by twigirlsnextdoor. It was the Til Death Do Us Part contest and her one-shot We're Married is fabulous and was the winning submission! If you have not already checked it out please go do so and tell her I said hi! **_

_**Also, thanks to teacher1209 for being wonderful and pre-reading all of this for me!**_

_**Lastly, here is my weekly Story Recommendation:**_

_**What Hurts the Most by beegurl13**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5648126/2/What_Hurts_The_Most**_

_**If you are not reading this story yet then what the heck are you waiting for? It is AMAZING! Tell her I sent you!**_

_**Thanks again for all the support of this story and everyone have a great week! See ya next Thursday!**_


	6. Drifting

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…I am posting this early because we are having storms caused by the hurricane that is in the Gulf and I wanted to make sure you got your chapter this week just in case we lose power or internet tomorrow. **_

Chapter 5

BPOV

_**Wednesday August 20, 2008: Age 24**_

Good times were being had as I laid on Alice's couch watching Oprah and eating Ben & Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream on a Wednesday afternoon.

The subject of today's show was women and their husbands who have cheated. Quite fitting, I thought.

There was nowhere for me to be…no one to answer to…I was a free person.

This was how I chose to spend my freedom.

_What a fucking loser._

They were able to get me out of pajamas Sunday but as soon as it was bedtime, I was right back in them and had yet to change out of them.

Well…I would shower each day and put on different pajamas…but they were still pajamas. I refused to wear regular clothes.

What was the point? Where was I going to go?

I thought I was going to be able to move forward…until I overheard Alice and Rose talking about Edward already having that whore in my house.

That was the straw that broke the camel's back…it was more than I could handle. Perhaps I was not as strong as I thought I was.

All I could think about was Edward and Lauren.

I wondered if he had fucked her in _our_ bed yet.

What was it about her that made him hard and able to sustain his erection? Did she do things for him that I would not? I really found that hard to believe considering there really was not anything that we had not done throughout our sex life…and I mean _nothing_.

We had pretty much done everything to each other that I thought there was to do. But perhaps she knew some tricks that I was unaware of…something had to entice him to fuck her.

It was making me crazy to keep having those thoughts but I could not help myself. A part of me wanted to go talk to Edward…to find out what went wrong…why he did not want me anymore…why she was more appealing to him.

I had to know.

Suddenly, I was not in the mood to eat my ice cream anymore. I set the container down on the coffee table and watched it melt. There was nothing better to do…Oprah was aggravating today due to the topic and neither Alice nor Jasper would be home for a bit.

My eyes started getting heavy and it was not long before I was asleep…again.

When I woke up several hours later, I could hear Alice and Jasper talking in the kitchen.

"_He went back to work yesterday. I had lunch with him at the hospital."_

"_You are eating with the enemy Jasper Hale! How could you?"_

Edward was back at work…he was probably thrilled he would get to be around Lauren all the time. They would work together and probably go home together if he had already moved her into our house.

I tried harder to listen to Ali and Jazz's conversation.

"_He's really messed up, Ali. He's your brother. You should talk to him. You haven't seen what a wreck he is. He is seriously falling apart."_

"_Absolutely not Jasper! How can you condone what he did? It's disgusting! I'm glad he's a wreck! He deserves to suffer for what he did to her! I can't believe you are acting this way about him!"_

"_I'm not condoning it Ali, but you just don't know how horrible he looks! I know if it were Rose…she is my sister and I would do my best to be there for her no matter what!"_

"_Well what about Bella? She is living with us. You DO see how she looks…every day! How can you stand there and tell me to talk to that dirtbag when you KNOW the pain he has caused her? We are her only family, Jasper! Who is going to be there for her? Tell me that! Bella needs us and I will not turn my back on her!"_

"_Maybe so…but that dirtbag is still your brother. Darlin, all I am saying is that I think you should make the effort to help them both."_

"_I don't want to hear that anymore! She is my best friend…a sister and she needs me. I can't talk to him right now without scratching his eyes out. He was like my best friend, Jazzy. I had him up on this pedestal and knowing that he did something like this…it just knocked him down. I am not ready to deal with him just yet."_

"_Okay, darlin' I understand."_

"_Besides, when Rose went over there Sunday to get clothes for Bells, he had the nerve to have that whore there already!"_

"_Yeah…he told me about that. He said that the only reason Lauren was there was that he was too hung over to drive anywhere. He asked her there to end things with her. Edward does not want Lauren, Alice. He wants to work on his marriage. He begged me to tell Bella that he still loves her very much and wants her to come back to him."_

He said what? Could it be true…Edward actually…_wanted_ me?

I removed myself from the couch quickly and walked to the kitchen. When I cleared my throat, Alice and Jasper both turned to face me in shock.

"Do you think he meant that Jazz?" I asked in a whisper.

Jasper nodded.

"He's hurting too, Bells."

Alice spoke quickly. "Don't even think about it Bella!" She turned to her husband. "How are they supposed to _work_ on their marriage Jazz? He _slept_ with someone else. He had his dick in another woman's vagina! He _sweat_ with her…_writhed_ above her…_kissed_ all over her body and was intimate with another person! If that were you…I could _never_ forgive that…_never_ take you back!"

My heart was torn in two. Everything Alice said made sense and the visual she painted in my head from her description nearly made me lose my lunch from disgust.

I was not that weak woman who took her husband back after he humiliated and cheated on her. No…I was _strong_…wasn't I?

On the other hand…this was _Edward_ we were talking about here. _My_ Edward.

He had been my best friend my entire life. What was I supposed to do with myself now…if he was gone?

Even though he had hurt me beyond belief…I missed him more than I ever thought possible.

"Jazz…do you think that maybe he has gotten this out of his system? That maybe we can move on from this now?" I asked in a whisper.

I almost could not believe the words that came out of my mouth. What was I thinking?

Before Jasper could answer, Alice was in front of me, my grasping my shoulders. "Bella, you cannot be serious! He _cheated_ on you sweetie! Do you understand what that means? He broke the sacred bond of your marriage. He basically threw it in the garbage!"

With tears streaming down my cheeks, I answered her, "But it's _Edward_…Ali…"

I could not finish my thought. As I dropped to my knees and broke down into sobs, Alice joined me and surrounded me in her tiny embrace.

"Shhh…I'm sorry Bells. I'll support you whatever you want to do but I want you to really think about this. Please don't take him back simply because he's _all_ that you know."

I felt another…stronger pair of arms wrap around me. "My Ali is right, sweetheart. There are many things that you need to consider before you make a final decision. Shh…there there…it's going to be okay."

Jasper always did have a calming effect on the people around him and it was not long before I was back asleep in their arms.

When I woke up again, I was in my bed in the guest bedroom with Alice snuggled in beside me, snoring lightly.

I nudged her gently.

"Oh, you're awake. That wasn't a very long nap. Sorry…I had just dozed off," she said.

"It's okay. How long was I out this time?"

She turned and looked at the clock on the bedside table. "Only about thirty minutes actually. Jazz carried you up here and he just left to go get some dinner. There was no way I was cooking tonight."

"Ali, you never cook," I chuckled. It felt good to laugh…even if it was over something as trivial as the lack of culinary skills in one Alice Hale.

She smiled at me, "That is very true. How do you feel?"

"Like I need to go home…"

"Bella…we talked about this…"

I put my fingertip to her lips to stop her from talking.

"I meant that I need to go home and get some more of my things if I am going to be staying here longer."

"I see. Well…wait until Jasper gets back with the food and we eat. Then, he and I can go with you."

"Alice, Edward is at work by now…probably doing more doubles so he can be around Lauren more. I can go by myself. I'm not very hungry anyway...my stomach is still upset. It has been going crazy since I found out…you know I can hardly keep food down right now."

"No, Bells. I am putting my foot down!"

"Alice, please. I need to get my laptop and some other things from my house. Besides, I am a grown woman…you can't stop me."

I climbed out of the bed and went to the bathroom to run a hairbrush through my tangled rat's nest.

"Um…are you sure about that Isabella? How were you planning to get there? You will need my car and I'm not giving you the keys unless you let us go with you."

She crossed her arms over her chest and was pouting.

"Seriously? Don't act childish. There are these great inventions called _cabs_ you know? I will just take one of those if you won't let me borrow your car. Maybe I should go stay with Emmett and Rose…" I trailed off knowing that would get her.

As I made my way back through the bedroom and headed downstairs, she ran behind me.

"NO! I don't want you to take a cab…and I want you to stay _here_."

"Then may I _please_ borrow your car so that I can go to my house and get some more of my things? I really can do this by myself."

She nodded and handed me her keys.

"Please be careful…and if you see his car there…leave. We will go over there with you later if that happens."

"Okay, agreed."

She hugged me and I headed out to her car.

As I drove, my mind drifted back to the first and only time I took a pregnancy test that said positive. I was not sure what caused me to remember that…but it was where my thoughts headed.

_**Flashback**_

_**Edward and I had been trying for three months to get pregnant. That really was not that long but I was still disappointed in all of the negative pregnancy tests. At this time, Edward was still supportive and wanted me pregnant with his child.**_

_**I was finally late getting my period. My heart filled with excitement as I headed to the store and bought a pregnancy test.**_

_**When Edward came home, he found me in the bathroom sobbing. **_

"_**Baby…it's okay. We'll try again." He knew the drill…but this time was different.**_

_**I looked up at him through my tear-filled eyes as he lifted me from the bathroom floor and carried me to our bed.**_

_**I shook my head at him. "No…these are happy tears…Edward…it's positive!"**_

_**He was in shock. He placed me down on the bed and ran to the bathroom to retrieve the test. **_

"_**You're pregnant? You're really fucking pregnant?" **_

_**I had never seen him this happy in all the years that I had known him. "I'm gonna be a fucking Dad! This is what that feels like! Baby, you've made me the happiest man on the planet!" **_

_**He picked me up and twirled me around the bedroom in excitement. **_

_**Then he realized what he was doing and he placed me back on the bed gently. "Shit…that's probably not good for our little one."**_

_**Edward lay down beside me and rubbed my stomach lovingly. We spent the rest of that night making love and in between our lovemaking sessions…we had conversations with our baby.**_

_**Edward made plans with our baby. Coaching baseball and tossing around the football for a boy. Watching dance recitals and swearing off boys for a girl. I felt as if I were so high that night that I was floating on clouds.**_

_**We were finally getting our baby and nothing could stop us.**_

_**The joke was on us. **_

_**Edward took the day off the next day so that we could see a doctor about our baby. As it turned out, the store-bought test gave me a false positive. There was absolutely no baby inside of me.**_

_**I could not even look at Edward for a week because I was humiliated with how foolish I had been to think I was actually pregnant. I did not have any of the signs…just a period that was late…which coincidentally…I started the night after the doctor's appointment.**_

_**That was the last time I took only one pregnancy test. From that point on, I would take at least five each time I hoped I was with child.**_

_**Sadly, they were all negative.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Although, I guess now in hindsight…it was probably a good thing I had never gotten pregnant. It would not be good to bring a baby into a relationship this flawed or worse…put a child through a divorce.

Then again…if I wasn't flawed…and could actually give my husband a baby…perhaps things would be different and we would not even be where we are today.

I had not even realized I was crying until I pulled into our driveway and felt the tears hitting my hands on the steering wheel.

That was all I had done for a week…cried and slept. I was fucking sick of both!

As soon as I walked into the house, I saw the destruction that my husband had created in the living room. I cried harder than before when I saw our wedding frame on the floor, broken into a million pieces.

Did it mean that little to him?

It did not escape my attention that the picture was gone from the frame. What had he done with it? Did he allow Lauren to burn it?

While shaking my head and clearing my mind, I made my way up to our bedroom. That was where I had left my laptop and I needed it with me desperately.

Edward was unaware that I had been secretly working on a book. I started it once we started working on getting pregnant. I figured that there were other women out there like me who had problems conceiving. I thought that this book might be able to help them have hope. My plan was to keep writing throughout the "trying to get pregnant" part and then the book would end once I was finally pregnant…thus providing them with a ray of hope that if it could happen for me…it could happen for them as well.

However, I still had not become pregnant. I was losing hope myself so how I was supposed to offer it to other women?

Moreover, now I would not be getting pregnant anytime soon since I would more than likely be divorcing my husband.

_Divorce_.

Did I really want to divorce my Edward?

All thoughts left my mind when I entered our bedroom and saw the destruction he had left there.

Our room was torn apart. Why had he done this? He should have been happy that I was gone and he could have his precious _Lauren_ all the time now.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of his work shirts lying at the foot of the bed. I walked to the bed and sat down, pulling the shirt into my chest. I brought it to my nose and inhaled deeply.

I loved his smell…could never get enough of it.

This brought on a new round of tears.

How would I ever heal from this? I thought he was my everything and he ripped out my heart as if it meant nothing to him.

What did women do in this situation? I knew divorced women got over their failed marriages and moved on all the time.

But how was I going to do that? Bella Swan…er…Cullen…how was _I_ supposed to move on from my soul mate?

My mind drifted back to the day we decided to start trying for our baby as I held the shirt in my hands even tighter…this was the same shirt he was wearing that day.

_**Flashback**_

_**Edward had come home for a "nooner" as he liked to refer to them. "I don't want to go back to the hospital," he complained as he kissed his way down my body.**_

_**We had already had two rounds of great sex and the way he was behaving…he was hoping for a third. **_

"_**Then don't," I told him seriously. "Just stay home and fuck me all day."**_

_**I knew he loved it when I said stuff like that. Edward and I both had always gotten hot and bothered from the dirty talk between each other.**_

_**He growled and made his way quickly back up to my face. He crushed his lips to mine and then pulled away quickly. As he stared into my eyes, he smiled and said, "Fuck the perfect time…let's do it."**_

"_**Do what?" He was confusing me.**_

_**He rolled over and laid beside me and started caressing my stomach gently. **_

"_**I want…my baby…in here. I want to see you round and swollen with our child. I want to feel it kick and have you wake me up in the middle of the night to run out and get you ridiculous foods that you are craving. I want to feel you squeeze my hand and hear you call me every name in the book while you give birth to our little one. **_

"_**I want us to be responsible for this little person that we create…a little bit of me…a little bit of you. I want a baby with you Isabella Cullen. Will you make me the happiest fucker there is and let me impregnate you my love?"**_

_**He was sweet and silly. It was typical Edward. He knew I had been waiting for him to be ready because I had been ready forever to have his baby. **_

_**All I could do was nod as he kissed the tears away from my face…which incidentally lead to round three.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Suddenly, I heard the front door slam and footsteps running up the stairs.

It was the velvet voice of the man I loved more than anything that I heard next. "Alice…is Bella with…" he stopped as he stood in the doorway of our room. He looked awful…not like my Edward at all. He had bags under his eyes and it was clear that he had not shaved since this all started. When was the last time that he slept? I had never seen him look more lost.

Realization dawned on his face as it hit him that it was me who was here and not his sister.

"Hi," he whispered.

"Hi," I said back to him. I was unsure of what to say after that.

We just stared at each other…neither of us making a move or saying a word.

What were we supposed to do now?

_**A/N…Happy Eclipse week! How many times have you seen it already? LOL. **_

_**I'm sorry I had to leave it there but it was a must my friends. Next chapter we will find out what has been happening with dear Edward and we will see how this confrontation goes down from his POV. **_

_**Every reviewer will get a TEASER of Chapter 6!**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 because she is awesome! **_

_**Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading my stuff!**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Sea of Realms__** by **__dolphin62598__**.**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6093673/1/Sea_of_Realms**_

_**This is a FANTASTIC o/s she wrote for the "Scenes on the Beach" contest sponsored by Black Sheep Fiction on Facebook.**_

_**Please go check it out! It is by far like the best one-shot I have ever read! She did an amazing job with this one! You will not be disappointed. **_


	7. Volatile Confrontations

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Warning…Edward's thoughts drift a bit to some of his relationship with Lauren. It is nothing graphic or anything. Just warning you ahead of time…some of you might have a problem with it even as small as it is. **_

Chapter 6

EPOV

_**Wednesday August 20, 2008: Age 25**_

Yesterday, Dr. Hines called to tell me that I had better get my ass back to the hospital immediately. He said that they were making enough allowances for me as it was because I was Carlisle Cullen's son…but that would not last forever with the way that I had been behaving. I did as I was told and made my way back there. Honestly, over the last week, I was starting to realize that becoming a doctor was not as important as I once thought.

I had snippets of these thoughts over the last few years…but I always pushed them away. But now…after losing my wife…there was no way that being a doctor was of any great importance to me. It helped drive us apart.

My heart was not in it anymore…all I wanted was my wife to hold.

The last place I wanted to go yesterday was to that fucking hospital. I wanted to turn the wheel of my car and take myself straight to my sister's house where I knew that my wife would be. However, if Bella was never going to take me back, perhaps being a doctor would be enough to keep my mind occupied from the loneliness.

Yes, it was best not to burn that bridge quite yet, so I made my way to the hospital with trepidation.

Flashback

I was a nervous wreck as I made my way through the hospital, waiting to bump into Lauren but it never happened. The nurse that was on duty instead told me that she was off but would be back on Wednesday.

Great.

So here I was today…dreading that godforsaken place once again.

When I pulled into the parking garage at the hospital, I got out of my car quickly and headed into the building. The parking garage was one of the places that…Lauren and I would…_see_ each other. We would either arrive earlier than our shifts or stay after.

We normally sat in my car and talked. At first, I thought she was a great listener. But over the course of the affair, I came to realize that she was listening as a means to an end. I was hurting and needing a friend and she saw that as a way into my pants.

I fell right into her trap. It was not all her fault though…I played my own part. I allowed the seduction…whether I was thinking of Bella or not to get hard…I allowed myself to fuck another woman who was not my wife.

I shook my head from those thoughts and continued my fast pace through the parking garage. I would not be surprised to see Lauren there waiting for another rendezvous.

When we had our parking garage meetings, we did not do anything too physical.

During these times, after we talked, she usually just gave me head.

I tried to return the favor once but it was just not happening. My tongue could not stand to be anywhere near her vagina for longer than like ten seconds. She was pissed but she got over it and kept fucking me.

Yes, it did not escape my attention that it was a fucked up situation…I continued to have sex with a woman who was not my wife…but I could not even bring myself to pleasure her orally while she did it for me often.

In my brain, I felt it was more intimate to stick my tongue in her instead of my dick.

If I was being honest, I still felt that way. Maybe I should use that when Bella finally talks to me. She always told me how intimate oral sex was to her. I hoped that she would at least be happy with the fact that I never did that with Lauren.

Unfortunately though, then I would have to tell her that I did _try_…and just because I could not eat her out…it did not stop me from letting her stick _my_ dick in _her_ mouth.

Yeah…there was probably no way to paint that picture pleasantly for my Bella.

Nevertheless, the bottom line was…I did not want to run into Lauren in the parking garage. I needed to be around her with witnesses…lots and lots of witnesses.

I had a feeling after her conversations with my voicemail and my text messaging inbox that she was going to try to tell Bella a bunch of lies about our relationship to make her stay away from me.

_Right, over my dead body_.

I was determined to get my wife back and I did not care what I had to do to make it happen.

Anyone was fair game for my madness if they got in the way of my end goal…having Bella back in my arms…for good. It was where she belonged and I could not accept otherwise.

I made it into the hospital without bumping into Lauren…but my happiness at that was short-lived because I ended up working with her most of the day. She continuously tried to get me to talk to her alone. I told her to back off because I did not want to talk to her…_ever_.

Enough was enough and I went and told Dr. Hines I was leaving early. He was not happy but he was thrilled that I at least showed up for a little while. They could have fucking kicked me out for all I cared.

That brought me to where I currently was…driving back home. The half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels I left sitting on the counter was calling my name.

When I pulled into my driveway, I noticed my sister's car parked beside Bella's. Excitement and nervousness filled my body. Alice was here. Perhaps she was going to talk to me…maybe Bella was with her!

I ran from the car into the house as fast as my tired legs would take me.

As I made my way through the house looking for Ali, I called out to her.

"Alice…is Bella with…" I stopped dead in my tracks at the doorway to our bedroom.

There on the foot of the bed…sat my angel. She was clutching one of my button-down shirts in her hands, bringing it to her nose, inhaling softly. Bella always told me how she loved _my special scent_, as she liked to call it.

If I was remembering correctly, it was even the same shirt I had been wearing when we decided to start trying for our baby. I was pretty sure I remembered it clearly because it was Bella's favorite shirt and it did not take her long to get me out of it once I told her I wanted to make a baby with her.

I stared at her for a moment and took in her appearance.

Even though she looked exhausted, pale and thinner than a week ago, she was still the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

She looked as if she had either not slept at all or had been sleeping too much. Bella usually had the same look to her eyes with either. I was guessing it was the latter because I remembered when she was depressed from her mother's death…she slept…a lot. It took everything I had in me to bring her back to me then.

Her mother's death completely devastated her…and she pretty much lost Charlie too because he shut everyone out after losing Renee. I refused to let Bella do that. I finally got her out of her funk and we were stronger after it.

Now…as my eyes danced over her delicate features…she looked _worse_ than she did when her mother died.

How the hell had I hurt her so badly?

Why couldn't I keep my dick in my pants?

The bottom line was…she was here…this had to be good news.

_Speak moron!_

"Hi," I whispered.

_Seriously…hi? That is the best you can do?_

_You don't deserve to breathe the same air as her you nitwit!_

I ignored my inner ramblings and waited nervously for her response.

"Hi," she said.

Apparently…she was at a loss for words just as much as I was.

After what seemed like hours of silence, Bella stood from her position on the bed, threw my shirt to the floor and finally spoke.

"I'm only here to get some more of my stuff…then I'll be gone and you can be alone with Lauren or whoever you want to fuck in _your_ house."

_She was getting more of her things._

_Was she moving out and away from me?_

_Was she leaving me for good?_

_Did she want a divorce?_

Too many thoughts started spinning through my brain at once…but then something she said stuck out over everything else.

"Lauren will not be coming back to _our_ home, Bella. I know I fucked up by bringing her here in the first place…but I was so out of it…hungover…maybe even still a little drunk and I needed to get rid of her as soon as possible so I could show you how much you mean to me.

"I only had her over here to end things…and there's _no_ one else…there will never _be_ anyone else…but _you_. I love _you_, baby."

She was standing next to the nightstand when she scoffed at my words and hurled the bedside lamp at my head. I ducked and it hit the wall beside me. I was still standing in the doorway…she was never a very good aim when she threw things.

I chuckled at the thought of my clumsy love and all the times I had spent at the hospital with her.

"Seriously Edward? You're going to fucking _laugh_ at my pain?"

"Love, I'm not laughing at that. I'm laughing because your poor aim with the lamp reminded me of your clumsiness and all the times I spent at the hospital with you."

"Edward, let's get a few things straight shall we? First, don't…call…me…_love_! You have _no_ idea what that word even means, apparently! That would include telling me that you love me. Don't…fucking…do…it! Second, do not call me baby or tell me there will never be anyone else but me!"

"Bella," I tried to talk but she would not let me.

"No! I have the floor now! You are going to listen to me!" I had not _completely_ destroyed our bedroom in my rampage the other night…so unfortunately there were still some things left that she could break and she made sure she did. As she spoke, she threw things at me.

"I am _not_ the only one, Edward!" _Here comes the picture of us on the beach in Hawaii while on our honeymoon._

"You took that from us! You can never say that I have been the only person you have ever slept with ever again!" _A hairbrush whizzed past my head…grazing my ear a bit. _

"You made a fool out of me you selfish bastard! You turned our sacred wedding vows into **NOTHING**! How the fuck do expect me to ever forgive that?" _The clock on the bedside table made a loud thud with the force that she threw it._

"I trusted you!" _The glass heart that I bought her for our first anniversary._

"I believed in you!" _Another picture frame with a captured moment between us inside._

"I stood by you!" _A bottle of cologne that was still sitting on top of my dresser._

"You betrayed me!" _A book that had been sitting on the bedside table. _

"You fucked her!" _Another picture…this one from the wall._

"You sent her flowers!" _A vase that was sitting on her dresser and still held guilt flowers that I had brought her last week._

"I _hate_ you!" She did not throw anything this time. The fight was leaving her body as she dropped to her knees and sobbed. I was amazed that I had managed to duck everything and come out of her fit physically unharmed.

Emotionally…it destroyed me to see her like this.

I dropped to my knees in front of her and tried to wrap my arms around her.

She punched at me and screamed about how much she hated me.

"How could you do this to me? To us? Why wasn't I enough for you? I hate you! I hate you!" She screamed.

Then she was quiet.

"_I…love…you_," I thought I heard her whisper.

She relaxed in my arms and I held her tight. "I love you too, baby. I'm so sorry."

Bella looked enraged again as she pushed herself out of my arms. "I did not say I love you! I said…I _loved_ you! Past tense! You threw my love away! How could I ever love someone who is such a cold-hearted monster?"

That was it…I had met my limit of verbal abuse I could take from her right now. I was exhausted and moody…everything was slipping out of my life and I was tired of being the only one at fault here. _Yes_, I _fucked_ someone else. But, there was a reason that I did!

She had to know…had to feel how much she pushed me away all the time. Even when we _were_ having sex to try for a baby…it became so cold and robotic. When I brought this to her attention, she would not hear anything I had to say. Perhaps I did not try hard enough to get through to her…and that was my cross to bear…but she needed to own up to some of the responsibility here.

We both stood at the same time. "That's enough Bella! Stop pretending that you are the only wounded party here! You pushed me away a while ago! All you fucking cared about was getting pregnant!"

"Yes, I wanted to get pregnant…with my devoted _husband_ who I thought loved me! Boy was I an idiot! I certainly learned my lesson!" She screeched.

"Yeah you _are_ an idiot! You're an idiot who ignored me and pushed me away until I had no choice but to seek some comfort and physical affection from someone who actually wanted me because I made her feel good and not just because I could get her pregnant! She didn't make me feel like a used baby-making machine!

"Lauren didn't only want to have sex with me when she was "_ovulating_" she actually wanted me to fuck her whenever and however I could…just because I was that fucking good and made her feel _amazing_!"

As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew they were a mistake and I had not even meant them. I was just so goddamn pissed at her for not letting me in…_again_.

Her hand was across my cheek and she was heading out the door before I even knew what had hit me.

I followed behind her.

"Bella, wait, please! I'm sorry!"

"You're sorry…you're sorry! I'm so sick of your fucking apologies Edward! Save them for someone who gives a shit! I am done with this! I'm going back to Alice and Jasper's. I will have them come get what I need from here!"

"Please don't leave like this Bella, I am begging you!"

If she would only stay and talk to me. We both needed to calm down and discuss this.

"You can beg all you want. You have hurt me more than you can imagine! Instead of talking to me about how you felt when I was _supposedly_ pushing you away and _using_ you…you turned to someone else and _fucked_ her! You betrayed our marriage! You are a spineless, worthless piece of shit and I can't believe you were my best friend for my entire life!"

That sent my temper up in flames again.

"Oh there was no _supposedly_ about it _sweetheart_! You know what you did! You are completely aware of how you treated me…don't stand here and pretend that you're not! How many times did I beg you to try another way of getting pregnant so we had less pressure on us? How many times Bella? You fucking went nuts every goddamn time I brought up another method other than naturally having a child!

"All I ever wanted was a baby with my fucking wife! I didn't care how we got it! I just wanted a baby for us to raise and nurture. If it was our own flesh and blood…then awesome…if it wasn't who the hell cared? We could love it and nurture it giving it more love than any other baby had ever known.

"But my thoughts and ideas were never good enough for you. I tried to give you what you wanted. The doctor said there was no real reason why we could not get pregnant so I don't know why it wasn't happening for us!

"You have to wonder though…maybe it just wasn't in the cards for us to be parents. I brought that up to you too…you went ballistic again and we fought…like we always did. That night…that first huge fight like that…when you told me I wouldn't be a good father…that was the first night I allowed Lauren's advances at the bar…if we had never had that fucking fight to begin with…"

"That's it! I am not going to listen to you retell your extramarital affairs! I refuse to stand here and listen to you tell me that it is my fault you fucked that _whore_!"

We had made our way downstairs and she was heading to the hall closet instead of out the front door. Was there something in there that she needed?

She opened the door and pulled out my baseball bat.

_Oh shit._

Before I could stop her, she headed out the front door and straight towards my Volvo.

"Bella, no! Don't act like a fucking child who isn't getting her way!"

She knew how I felt about that car. I did not know how to restrain her or stop her without hurting her.

"You would know all about that wouldn't you, you spoiled asshole! Edward Cullen always gets what he wants and if he doesn't then Mommy and Daddy will make sure that he does with their power and money!"

Yes, I was spoiled but I knew that she did not mean that. She was talking so hateful when she loved my parents as if they were her own. Hell…they probably liked her better than me…or well…they would soon enough.

I approached her to try to remove the bat from her hands but she turned it towards me, "If you come any closer Edward…I swear to all that is holy I will beat your brains in with it!"

"Baby, you don't mean that!"

However, the look she gave me after I said that…showed me that clearly she did mean it.

She then proceeded to bash in all the windows of my Volvo. All I could do was watch. I wanted to cry because my girl was losing control like this…I caused it…and because she was destroying my baby.

I was pulling at my hair…ready to rip all of it from my head…screaming at her…begging her to stop this insanity…when I saw Jasper's truck barreling down our street.

_Thank God! The voice of reason!_

Jasper and Alice got out of the truck as soon as it was parked in front of our driveway. "Bells, come on…let's go home."

"No Alice! He needs to pay!"

Neighbors were starting to come out of their houses and see what was happening.

Great…more fucking gossip. First the hospital…now our neighborhood.

_Smash! There went my taillights._

Jasper and Alice tried talking Bella down…everyone afraid to approach her now while she had that crazed look in her eyes.

She was not listening to anyone…she was a woman scorned…a woman on a mission for vengeance. She was getting it through my most prized possession.

Though, seeing my beloved car destroyed was not nearly as painful as watching my wife who I loved more than anything, falling apart like this. I had never seen her this out of control…ever. And knowing that I caused it…hurt more than watching her destroy my Volvo.

The Volvo could be fixed…I was starting to doubt that our marriage could.

Finally, after my Volvo looked utterly destroyed, Jasper was able to approach Bella long enough to get the bat out of her hands.

She sobbed in his arms and I wanted to be the one comforting her.

"It's alright, darlin', shhh…" he cooed.

Suddenly, all the anger I felt towards her was gone and I just wanted her in my arms.

But that was not going to happen.

"Jasper, I'll take Bella to the truck. We should get her out of here," Alice said as Jasper passed my wife to my sister.

"Ali…" I started.

"Don't Edward! I'm still not speaking to you!"

With that, Alice loaded Bella up into Jsaper's truck. Bella was still a crying mess.

Alice got into the backseat of the truck with Bella and held her tight. Even though Ali was my sister, I was glad that Bella had her. She would help her through this.

"Sorry, Edward. It sucks about your car…but you kind of deserved it, man," Jasper said as he got into his truck.

I yelled out to him, "You guys have no idea what was happening in our marriage! You only want to paint me as the bad guy! That's fucking fine! I don't need any of you!"

It was easier to show my anger than let them all see how broken I was that everyone was turning their backs on me. I knew I deserved it but…fuck…I thought family was supposed to love you no matter what.

Regardless, I guess Bella needed them more now and that was my fault.

I scuffed up dirt from the driveway with my shoes…pushing it towards Jasper's truck as he pulled away from the house.

_Wow…that was really mature…trying to scuff dirt at him…that will show them._

"Nothing to see here! Move along and mind your own fucking business!" I yelled to the neighbors who were still looking at the scene in my driveway.

There was definitely going to be talk now. I did not give a flying fuck…every piece of my heart just left in Jasper's fucking truck.

As I walked back into my empty house, I caught my reflection in the window of Bella's car.

I looked pathetic…and broken.

I made my way into the house and started on the half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels that I was looking forward to earlier. As I sat in my new favorite place…the corner of the couch…drowning in misery…I wondered…

_That did not go well at all. How the hell were we ever going to fix things if all we did was fight? _

_**A/N…Hope everyone had a safe and happy 4**__**th**__** of July, for those who celebrate it. There you have their first big confrontation. Next chapter will go forward about a month and we will see what has been happening with our fair Bella. **_

_**Reviewers as usual will get a teaser of chapter 7 that will be BPOV. **_

_**Come visit the thread for this story over at Twilighted!**_

_**http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=10046&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&sid=&start=40**_

_**Also, don't forget, I have a website that has pictures of the characters of the story that have been introduced so far and how I picture them for this. **_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)**__**com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for betaing this bad boy and being my rock!**_

_**Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading and being fabulous!**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Don't Take the Girl__** by **__SparklingWand_

_**This is an amazing story and I am so hooked on it! **_

_**.net/s/5930569/1/Dont_Take_the_Girl**_

_**That is all for now! Hope you guys have an amazing weekend and a great week! See ya next Thursday! **_


	8. Birthday Blues

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…I have two songs for you. The first one is more like a song for the whole story with everything between Edward and Bella. I had it recommended to me by two readers this last week. I had never heard it before and it is absolutely beautiful. I was floored with how well it fits for this story. You can find it here:**_

_Jar of Hearts__** by **__Christina Perri_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=imhSwb0B6aE**_

_**Thanks to RubyRedRaspberryz and Foxy1245 for the suggestion! **_

_**The second song is **__Break Me Out__** by **__The Rescues__**. You can find it here:**_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=qxoWHCrbjGs**_

Chapter 7

BPOV

_**Saturday September 13, 2008: Age 25**_

_I felt gentle but strong hands caressing my inner thighs while the warm tongue that I knew to belong to my husband, found my already wet folds. I felt the fire and heat between my legs as I moaned._

"_Are you awake now, love?"_

_Oh…I wasn't dreaming?_

_I lifted up the comforter and saw my husband's smiling face from between my thighs. "Happy birthday, baby."_

I was angry at myself for having that dream this morning and I was angry with myself for waking up wet and still affected by my cheating husband.

It had been a month since I found out that the love of my life had been sleeping with someone else.

Today was my birthday. I was now twenty-five-years old with no career, no children and a marriage that was falling apart.

The day that I went home to get my things did not go how I had planned. When I saw Edward in the doorway, I prayed that he would tell me it was all a mistake. Then we would have hot make-up sex and everything would be all right.

That obviously did not happen.

I was furious with him. It felt good to throw things at him and break our belongings. He had broken _me_ so I was returning the favor.

When I told him that I loved him…I wanted to slap myself. I tried correcting my error in judgment by telling him I meant it in the past tense. I breathed a sigh of relief when he believed me. He looked as if I had told him that I just ran over his dog. It gave me a small slither of satisfaction to see pain etched across his beautiful face. I wanted him to hurt…as I hurt. The sad truth of the matter though…was that I still loved my husband…very much.

You could not even begin to imagine the gratification I got from busting up his precious Volvo! I always thought that he loved that stupid car more than me. Judging from the look on his face as I took his baseball bat to it…those thoughts were accurate.

Unfortunately, I had to get out of there without any of my stuff. A few days later Rose and Alice returned with me.

_**Flashback**_

_**Jasper had assured us that he would keep Edward away as long as possible. They were going to lunch together and to play pool. He was trying to be a friend to Edward…but at the same time do me a favor.**_

_**When we walked into my house, it was more of a disaster then it was the last time I was there. **_

_**Broken things were lying all over the place. Empty food containers and dirty clothes littered the couch and coffee table. The kitchen sink was piled with dirty dishes.**_

_**I did not make it any further than the kitchen before I had a breakdown. What had he done to our home? He wanted this or he would not have stuck his dick in that bimbo…so why was he destroying our home and throwing a temper tantrum? He got his wish! **_

_**I leaned against the counter and slid down to the floor. It only took two seconds for my girls to surround me in their arms to help quiet my sobs.**_

"_**It's okay, Bells…" Alice started as she knelt in front of me on the floor. **_

"_**No, it's not okay, Ali. It will never be okay again! What am I supposed to do now?"**_

_**Rose yanked me up from the floor and turned my face to look at her. "Hey, enough of this, Swan! You hold your head up high and you show him what a fucked up moron he is! He has no idea what you are capable of and what he threw away when he destroyed your marriage! You show that fucknut what you are made of!"**_

_**At the word "fucknut" Alice and I could not contain our laughter. The tears slowed and I had a genuine smile on my face, thanks to my amazing friends.**_

_**Rose walked to the China cabinet in the dining room and when she returned, she had a plate in her hands. **_

"_**Here," she said thrusting the plate at me. **_

_**I looked at her questioningly. **_

"_**What is she going to do with a plate, Rose?" Alice asked.**_

"_**Didn't you always tell us how much you hated this China pattern? It was the one that Edward wanted…the one he insisted on! Smash it! I promise it will make you feel better."**_

_**I nodded and took the plate from Rosalie and I threw it down with all of the strength I had in me. As it shattered into tiny little pieces, it felt like it was a metaphor for my marriage as well as my heart.**_

_**But Rose was right…because…oddly enough…I felt better…as I did when I took the baseball bat the Volvo. By destroying the things Edward loved so much…it was a tiny bit of vindication for the way that he had destroyed me.**_

"_**Feel better?" Rose asked with a smile.**_

_**I nodded. **_

"_**Want to break some more?" Alice asked with a mischievous grin.**_

_**I smiled at them both and said, "Only if you girls will help me. I am sure you have some anger to take out as well."**_

"_**Oh hell yeah!" Rose exclaimed. I knew that I was not the only one hurting by this. Edward's mistakes and poor choices affected his entire family. **_

_**Alice held her hand up to stop us. "Wait! We need to have music and dance! We can break everything…anything we can find that is not broken yet. You can completely purge yourself from your former life Bella, and start completely over again…fresh."**_

"_**Let's do it…before I lose my nerve," I replied.**_

_**Rose and I headed into the dining room and stood in front of the China cabinet while Alice turned on the stereo. **_

_Break me Out __**by the**__ Rescues__** blared through the house and it made me happy. The three of us loved this song…it was always our dance around the house crazy like a lunatic feel better song. **_

_**As Alice bounced back into the room, she was singing, "My empty room, crowded too soon."**_

_**When she sang those lyrics, she took another plate from the China cabinet and threw it to the floor. She bounced around and allowed Rose to continue.**_

"_**I look for the fire escape, picture myself," Rose sang as she smashed a bowl.**_

_**It was my turn. I grabbed two small plates and sang, "Running like hell, making my getaway."**_

_Crash_

_Boom_

_Smash_

_**We were about halfway through the song and between the three of us…had destroyed most of the contents of the China cabinet, when we heard his voice.**_

"_**What the fuck is going on in here?" Edward screeched.**_

"_**You're a smart guy, Edward…or at least I thought you were. What does it look like we're doing?" Rose told him.**_

"_**It looks like you're destroying **__my__** house!"**_

_**I was livid! His house? Was he seriously going to play that game?**_

"_Your__** house? Really? You're going to go there? The last time I checked…we were still married…which means everything here is half mine you idiot! Since you seemed to be doing such a good job of ruining the rest of our home…I just thought I would help you along!" I screamed at him as I threw the plate to the floor that I had in my hand.**_

_**Some of the shattered pieces were now at his feet.**_

"_**Guess what sweetheart? I have paid for just about every fucking item in this house…as well as the house itself…so I can do whatever the hell I want around here! Besides that, **__you__** are the one who walked out the goddamn door and left me!" He roared.**_

"_**Because you slept with that whore!" I screamed back at him.**_

"_**Because you fucking ignored me and pushed me away!" He yelled back. **_

"_**Stop that! Stop saying that! I'm sick of your damn excuses!" I screamed.**_

"_**What's the matter, baby? The truth hurts doesn't it? You know how you treated me! You would hardly touch me or barely let me fucking touch you! You broke our connection first. You left our marriage long before I look for emotional and physical comfort elsewhere! How do you sleep at night knowing my family is blaming me and hating me for what I did while you get off scott-free?" He sneered. **_

_**I was infuriated with him!**_

_**By this time, we were both standing face-to-face and breathing heavily.**_

"_**Okay, as pissed as I am at you right now, Edward…I'm gonna play devil's advocate here and stop this before you two go any further," Alice said as she stepped in between us and pushed me away from him.**_

_**He was lucky that his sister got in between us because I was getting ready to smack the crap of him.**_

_**How dare he say those things to me!**_

"_**I would love nothing more than to watch Bella beat you to a bloody pulp, Eduardo…but I am gonna have to agree with Ali here…you two need to break it up. Why are you here? Jasper was supposed to keep you away so we could get Bella's stuff," Rose said as she pushed Edward away from me in an effort to drive us farther away from one another before there was bloodshed.**_

"_**We were finished. I was not aware that he was supposed to keep me away from my house. I'll just leave and let Bella get the rest of what she needs. I don't want to be here around her any longer, anyway," Edward said with venom in his voice.**_

_HE__** did not want to be around me? What the fuck was he smoking? He had no right to want to get away from me!**_

"_**You are such an asshole, Edward! You sleep with some slut from work and somehow it is my fault! You make me the bad guy here and try to play the victim. Well guess what? It's not working! Even your own family can see you for the heartless lying bastard that you are!" I yelled.**_

_**Edward sighed and had a look of defeat on his face. His shoulders slumped and he pinched the bridge of his nose. The anger was gone from his eyes. **_

"_**Bella, I can't stay here and fight with you. I want to talk to you…to try to work things out. But you clearly do not want that yet. So I want to leave before we say or do anything else that we are going to regret."**_

"_**I think that's a good idea, Edward," Alice said quietly.**_

_**Edward nodded and turned to leave the kitchen. He paused at the doorway but did not turn back to me. "I love you Bella, please remember that, no matter what."**_

_**With that, he left the house. Seriously? The way he just spoke to me…and he was going to stand there and try to tell me he loved me? **_

_You were right there screaming back at him and saying awful things too, honey and you still love him completely. _

_**I really hated my inner voice sometimes…but this time…I refused to listen to her. **_

_**As soon as I heard the front door shut, I ran towards it screaming at him, "Don't tell me you love me! You don't love me! You don't cheat on people that you love!"**_

_**I screamed at him repeatedly even though he was gone, until I was a sobbing mess on the floor by the front door.**_

_**Rose and Ali helped me to the couch where they cried with me until I was ready to retrieve my belongings that I needed from the house.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Here I was with nothing to show for the first twenty-five-years of my life and probably headed for divorce court. How sad was that?

Better yet, how sad was it that I had driven my husband to cheat on me in the first place?

Apparently, according to him, I was so cold and focused only on babies that I completely neglected him.

That was only his view of what happened.

I did not do that…did I?

The truth was…I was unsure of whether I did or not. I had been trying to think back to different times over the last few months…but then I would think about Edward's betrayal and I could not think about memories with him anymore.

A knock on my bedroom door brought me from my thoughts.

"Come in," I said.

Alice pranced into the room like a woman on a mission.

I was lying on the bed moping so she sat down and made herself comfortable at the foot of it.

"Alright, Swan, what are we doing for your birthday today?"

"Noth…" I started.

"Don't you dare say nothing! In light of everything that has happened, I opted not to throw you a party against my better judgment…but we have to do _something_. Please?" She begged.

I had to do something to make it up to her. She had been amazing through all of this crap with her brother. Even though it was _my_ birthday, I was going to take one for the team.

Also, there was something I had been thinking about the last few days…it was time for a change.

I shrugged and smiled at her. "You know what I would really love, Ali?"

"What?" She asked excitedly as she bounced up and down on the edge of my bed.

"I would love it if we got Rose over here and we had a girls' night. I'm talking movies, more junk food than we can possibly eat in one night, makeovers, facials…the whole nine yards."

"Are…are you…_serious_?" She asked hesitantly.

I nodded.

Alice squealed as she lunged from the foot of the bed and tackled me.

"Thank you Bella! I know it's your birthday but this is such a gift to me!"

"Believe me, I know pixie," I smiled at her. She was speechless so I continued, "I want something different. I want you guys to cut my hair."

"What?" She gasped.

It was no secret that I had never cut my hair any shorter than right below my shoulder blades because Edward loved my hair long. He loved to have the long ponytail he could hold on to when we…or when I would…oh never mind. I was not going to dwell on what we used to have.

"Are you sure?" She asked.

"Yes, definitely. It's time for a change," I said with conviction.

She jumped up from the bed and said, "Okay…I'm going to go call Rose and get everything ready. Don't worry about a thing…we will handle it all! We'll call you when we're ready for you."

I laughed when she left because it was so easy to make her happy.

If only her brother was the same way.

Maybe if I had been enough for him…he would not have found sexual comfort from another woman.

_No…stop it Bella…do not do that to yourself. You deserve better than what he has done to you._

Right…if only for one night…I was going to hold my head up high and not think about the sad state of my marriage.

Unfortunately, my stomach had other ideas.

I ran to the bathroom and emptied the contents of my stomach. My nerves had been shot lately and I could not wait to get some sort of normalcy back to my life so the vomiting would stop.

As I washed my hands and rinsed out my mouth, I made a promise to myself in the mirror.

"You will get through this, Bella…_Swan_."

It killed me to say it…but it was true. As much as I told myself that I could figure out a way to fix this with Edward…my heart told me a different story.

Even though…in my heart…I knew that I still loved Edward very deeply…he had destroyed me…broken me…possibly beyond repair.

Realistically, I did not see myself ever being able to take him back.

That made me hurt and made me incredibly sad…but it was the truth.

"Bella…come on Rose is here! We're going to get started!" I heard Alice yell from downstairs.

_How long was I in the bathroom?_

Before I went downstairs, I went to the nightstand to plug in my cell phone so that it could charge.

I noticed that I had a text message. I had not checked it since yesterday.

It was from Edward and it came through at midnight.

_**My beautiful Bella,**_

_**I know that you hate me and will not talk to me**_

_**But I had to tell you**_

_**Happy Birthday**_

_**25 years ago, the world became a better place**_

_**Because you were brought into it**_

_**Even though we are apart on this great day**_

_**I still love you**_

_**Please talk to me**_

_**Please forgive me**_

_**Please give me a chance to fix this**_

_**I know that I can…**_

_**Love always,**_

_**Your Edward**_

What should I do?

Should I write him back?

I did not want to say anything to him or encourage him to think I would ever forgive him.

However, I found it sweet that he remembered and sent me a message right at midnight.

_Stop it! He hurt you…remember? How can you even think about being kind to him? Was he showing you kindness while he was fucking Lauren?_

That thought made up my mind.

I deleted the message and went to join my girls.

He was getting nothing else from me…he had already taken everything I had to give…and thrown it away like yesterday's garbage.

It was time for me to enjoy my birthday…the first one I had ever spent without my Edward.

_**Sunday September 14, 2008: Age 25**_

The girls' night had been a great success. Jasper went and spent the night at Rose and Emmett's place so we had the whole house to ourselves.

Rose told us that Emmett was suspicious about why we had the girls' night at Alice and Jasper's instead of my house. Rose explained to him that Edward needed to sleep from all the shifts he had at the hospital.

She was tired of keeping this from her husband, but she wanted Edward to be the one to man up and tell his brother. I reminded her, the way that Edward had been lately, that was probably not going to happen.

Her plan was that if Edward did not tell him within the next week or so, she was going to because she did not want to lie to him anymore. Plus, she was hopeful that Emmett was going to beat some sense into him. I tried telling her that he was Edward's brother and he would probably be the one out of everyone to stand by him.

Both Rose and Alice laughed before asking me if I really had no idea, how much Emmett saw me as his little sister. They both assured me that Edward was going to get it from his brother.

The rest of the night was spent trying to focus on topics other than my failed marriage.

We had the best time and they did an amazing job on my haircut. I was quite pleased with it.

Unfortunately, we had way too many of Rose's famous margaritas the previous night. Well…way too many for me was a grand total of two. I was a lightweight when drinking to begin with and the two that I had did not sit well with me at all.

They tasted so good…and I had not had anything to drink since Edward and I had started trying to get pregnant. I needed it last night. I did end up regretting it as they were coming back up after I drank them though.

My head was throbbing as my cell phone started ringing incessantly.

I looked at the clock.

_Five a.m._

No wonder my head hurt…we had only gone to bed an hour ago.

I wanted to throw the thing across the room, but something told me that I should answer it.

"Hello?" I said groggily.

"_I'm looking for a Bella Cullen," _the woman on the other end said.

"This is she," I said hesitantly.

What had Edward gotten himself into now?

"_I apologize for having to call you so early, Miss. We need you to come to Forks as soon as possible. Your father was shot in a store robbery early this morning."_

The phone fell out of my hand and to the floor as I screamed.

I heard the commotion of Rose and Alice waking up beside me where we had all fallen asleep together.

"Bella! What is it? What's wrong?" Rose asked in a panic.

The last thing I remember before passing out was Alice talking to the woman on the other end of my phone.

How could this happen?

_**A/N…Next chapter we hear from Edward. Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 8 EPOV. **_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for being an amazing beta and an awesome friend!**_

_**Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading this chapter…and all the others! **_____

_**Come visit the thread for this story over at Twilighted!**_

_**http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=10046&st=0&sk=t&sd=a&sid=&start=40**_

_**Also, don't forget, I have a website that has pictures of the characters of the story that have been introduced so far and how I picture them for this. Now added to it is a picture of how Bella's new haircut looks. Those of you upset about it, don't worry her hair is like mine and grows very fast so it will be back! LOL**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)**__**com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Now…Story Recommendation for the week:**_

_I Run to You__** by **__MidnightTrain__**.**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5537263/3/I_Run_to_You**_

_**This story is fabulous! It consumed me one day until I was all caught up with it. Go check it out and tell her I sent you! **_

_**Have a great week friends! See you next Thursday!**_


	9. Say It Ain't So

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Song for this chapter:**_

_Tonight I Wanna____Cry__** by **__Keith Urban_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=opok_C_AUnw&feature=avmsc2**_

_**Some of you are not going to like what is about to happen in this chapter…PLEASE just remember to trust me! I PROMISE it will be okay! **_____

Chapter 8

EPOV

_**Saturday September 13, 2008: Age 25**_

The last few weeks had been horrific. My life was falling apart. I went to work…I came home and I drank…usually to the point of passing out on my couch…_alone_.

This was no way to live…but here I was…lying in the bed that I had made.

I made sure last night that I was not going to pass out before midnight. I wanted to send Bella a text when it was exactly September thirteenth so that she would know I remembered and I had to be the first to tell her happy birthday.

I spent the night drinking on the couch…looking through our photo albums…and listening to _Tonight I Wanna Cry_ on repeat. At midnight on the dot, I texted my wife to let her know I remembered the day that she was born and begged her to speak to me.

By the time I passed out, she had still not responded.

I was spending seven days a week at the hospital because what else did I have to do?

Today was no different. The alarm on my cell phone went off at five and my head was pounding. When I opened my phone to turn off the alarm, I was disappointed to see that Bella still had not texted me back.

She was probably not going to…but I still had hope.

I would be at the hospital today until six in the evening. While I took my morning shower, I found myself praying that my meddling sister was throwing yet another surprise party for Bella this year, that I would be invited and it would be a grand opportunity to speak to my wife.

Who was I kidding?

At this point, I did not even care if we spoke…I just needed to _see_ her. She was always my beautiful angel.

After my shower, I sucked down several cups of coffee before making my way to my car. I hated the rental but the body shop was still working on the Volvo and Bella had taken her car the day I found her and the girls here destroying things.

I thought back to how furious I was when I came home to find my wife there breaking everything in our China cabinet, along with my sister and sister-in-law.

It was maddening that she was in our home destroying our belongings…even though I had already broken so many items myself.

The cocky part of me felt that since I paid for them…it was okay for me to break them…but not for her…especially since _she_ was the one who left.

The not so cocky part of me knew that Bella did exactly as I had wanted her to do…stayed home and let me take care of her…and I broke her heart so I should let her break whatever tangible items she wanted to break.

Nevertheless, I hated fighting with her and still wanted her to listen to me. I gave in that day and left her to get what she needed from our house.

When I returned, our house that was once a home, felt even emptier than it had before.

I was not sure if I would ever understand what I wanted from or felt with Lauren. Why did I ever go to her? What exactly happened with Bella that made me feel as if I could not talk to her?

I knew that I felt used and that she started pushing me away…but why did I fell that I could not talk to her? Sure, when I brought our issues up to her, she always blew me off but why did I go to Lauren instead of forcing Bella to listen to me?

Perhaps I needed some therapy because now that I was losing my wife…I did not know how I ever thought I could be with anyone but her.

I missed her terribly…everything about her…even the irritating things.

Once I arrived at the hospital, I went to my dad's office. He and mom were still _unaware_ of what had happened between Bella and me. I was hoping to keep it that way. They adored Bella and I had no doubt that they both would take her side in this.

The poor choices I had made lately were going to cost me a whole lot more than my wife.

I knocked on the door and was thankful when I heard my dad's voice. I was not sure if he was supposed to be here today or not.

When I opened the door and walked into his office, I did not intend to tell him anything about my broken marriage. I just needed to see him because we had always been close. He always had a way of calming me without really knowing that he was even doing it.

It was times like this that I was grateful he had taken the job as Chief of Surgery at Seattle General right after we graduated high school.

Besides, his power and position got me my internship and residency here. Thanks to him being the great Dr. Carlisle Cullen, I was able to have advantages over the other students.

Of course, it was not fair to the others but as long as I got what I _thought_ I wanted…I didn't care.

He looked up from his paperwork and smiled brightly, "Edward! It's wonderful to see you son. Where have you been keeping yourself?"

Dad seemed cheerful. That meant he had not heard the rumors that I was sure were circulating around the hospital about me.

Luckily, for me, even if he did, my dad never believed the idle gossip around this place.

"Just been busy, Dad," I said quietly.

"Any big plans for Bella's birthday today? I'm surprised you're even here at the hospital. Your mother has been trying to get a hold of Alice to see if she was throwing Bella a party this year."

"No, we're keeping it low key this year….just the two of us. We had to reign Ali in, but she agreed."

I hated lying to my father.

He nodded and motioned for me to come sit across from him.

"Well come in, sit, tell me how you and my beautiful daughter-in-law are doing. Any grandbabies to tell me about yet? You know your mother and I are thrilled that you have been trying so hard."

"Dad…about that…"

He stopped me. I was just going to tell him that we were going to take a break from trying.

"Now Edward, I know that you two must be disappointed that it hasn't happened yet…but trust me…when the time is right…it will. It took me forever to get your mom pregnant with Emmett. We were about to give up…but when we least expected it…we were sitting in the doctor's office being told we were going to be parents. It will happen. You and Bella have such a great love…you two are meant to be parents. Just give it some time, all right? As your mom would say, you're not baking cookies…these things take time."

I laughed because he was right…mom would say that. However, my laugh faltered because I remembered that Bella and I were not even together right now. How the hell were we supposed to be blessed with a baby when we were not even having sex, she hated me and we were probably headed for divorce court anyway?

One of the nurses stood in the doorway and said, "Chief Cullen, you're needed in the ER. Patients are being brought in from a major accident on the freeway and some decisions need to be made."

My father sprung into action and jumped from his chair. "I'm sorry Edward. We'll talk again soon. We both should probably get to the ER."

I nodded and followed him. Once we were in the elevator he briefly mentioned, "By the way…you need to call your mom or have Bella do it. She needs to give you both the details for our anniversary party next week."

_Fuck!_

I had completely forgotten about that.

If Bella and I did not show up to that and play the part of the happy couple, my parents were sure to know something was wrong between us.

Perhaps I could convince Bella to put on a happy face and pretend to still love me…for one night.

She would never want to do anything to hurt my parents.

Yes, I would play that angle.

Right now…I had patients to fix.

The freeway accident ended up being bad. We lost six patients from that mess. It was a five-car pileup caused by some idiot who was texting while driving.

It was always hard to lose any patient but I was thankful there was no one we knew in all of that carnage.

I was exhausted as I drove home. As soon as I made it into the house, I grabbed my new best friend and situated myself on the couch.

Jack Daniels and I had become great pals over the last few weeks. As I drank straight from the bottle, stewing about the fact that Bella still had not responded to my birthday message, there was a knock on the door.

When I opened it, a sobbing Lauren stood in my doorway.

"What the fuck are you doing here? I think I made it pretty clear that I want nothing to do with you."

"I'm _pregnant_," she whispered.

_You have got to be fucking kidding me!_

_**Sunday September 14, 2008: Age 25**_

Today was the first day I had off in two and a half weeks.

Lauren's revelation last night brought on many new decisions. She told me she had just found out that, she was pregnant and that it was mine.

We were always so careful…never having sex without a condom. This did not make sense to me…but I knew they were not one hundred percent effective.

It figured that the woman I had an affair with would be in the small percentage of women who get pregnant while using condoms.

I was completely fucked!

There was no way I was happy about this baby. The only person I ever wanted to carry my children was Bella…and I was not even sure I wanted that anymore.

It was becoming clear to me that I was never meant to be a dad.

I would suck at it anyway.

Whether I wanted it or not, it was happening. I was not the type of person to shirk my responsibilities so I was going to make sure that Lauren and this baby were cared for.

But I still intended to get my wife to come back to me.

It was going to be very difficult now though.

I was going to have to do some smooth talking and really try to work some magic.

Praying for a miracle would not hurt either.

I took a deep breath before I dialed the familiar number of my wife.

"Hello?" She said frantically.

Was everything okay? The tone of her voice told me that it wasn't.

I could not believe she answered.

"Hey, lov…Bella," I answered. I made sure to correct myself quickly from calling her love because I did not want to anger her right away.

"Oh, it's _you_," she said.

That was why she answered…she was apparently not paying attention to the caller ID.

"Yeah it's just lil old me. Could you meet me for coffee…in about fifteen minutes?" I asked her with hope in my voice.

"Are you serious? What makes you think I would do that Edward? This isn't the best time. I'm on my way out soon. I really need to let you go."

"Bella, wait, don't hang up, please!" I begged.

I could hear her breathing so I knew she did not hang up but she was not speaking.

"_Please_, I swear that I will not take up too much of your time. I really need to talk to you. I talked to my dad yesterday…and something happened last night…that is going to affect the both of us. Pretty please? I'm _begging_ here."

I knew I was playing dirty by making it sound like what I had to tell her involved my parents but how else was I going to get her to meet me?

She sighed and said, "All right, Edward. But I am serious…this cannot take long. I really do have somewhere I need to be. Please don't waste my time."

"Thank you, Bella. I'll see you in fifteen minutes."

We disconnected and I made my way to our favorite little hole in the wall coffee shop. It was our private little place. We never told anyone about it because it was always something just for us.

I ordered us both a cup of coffee and sat at our usual table. The server was eyeing me up when she brought out the order and I flashed my wedding band.

That seemed to turn her off and she walked away in a huff. I wish that worked for all women. My wedding band and the fact that I was taken seemed to spur Lauren on that much more.

When Bella walked in the door, my world tilted on its axis. She looked as if she had not slept in days. There was no makeup on her face…not that she ever needed it…but I could see the tear stains on her cheeks…even from where I was sitting. She was wearing yoga pants and a plain t-shirt, with her hair thrown up into a messy bun, clearly not caring about her appearance at all.

This was not like her. She always dressed casual and did not like to dress up a lot…but she usually still cared about how she looked.

I felt as if something was wrong…other than the obvious.

She plopped down into the seat across from me. This was the first time in all the times that we had come here that she sat across from me…we always sat next to one another.

I did not hide the scowl on my face as she spoke, "Make it fast, Edward. I have somewhere to be."

"So you've said...more than once. What's the matter? You have a hot date?" I asked snippily.

"No, I am still _married_. I'll save the _cheating_ for you," she jabbed.

The look on her face was one of a sweet woman, but the sound of her voice as she said that was nothing but a raging barracuda.

Had I broken her so much that all that was left of my sweet Bella was the angry and bitter person who sat before me?

Her attitude right now was going to make this that much harder.

I still had not spoken so she did. "Just get to the point, Edward. Please! I need to leave."

She kept looking at her watch.

Where did she have to go in such a hurry?

It was now or never because she looked as though she was going to bolt if I did not say something.

After looking towards the door, her eyes had softened when she turned back to look at me. We both spoke at the same time and I could have kicked myself for my words.

Being the idiot that I am…I just blurted it out without warning.

"Lauren's pregnant," I said quickly.

"I'm sorry for being short, I actually need you…wait…what did you just say? Lauren's _pregnant_?" She whispered the last part.

I was waiting for the ferocious tiger to come out but it was much worse than that. Her bottom lip trembled and silent tears fell from her beautiful brown eyes. The little color that had been on her face before…was completely gone now.

It probably would have hurt her less if I had slapped her.

She was falling apart and it was so visible that it hurt me.

My wife wrapped her arms around herself as she did in times of crisis for some sort of comfort. "Are you sure that it's…_yours_?"

"Yes, I'm the only person she's been with since we have been together. She has no reason to lie to me."

"I see," Bella said as she looked down at the table. She looked up quickly and spoke again. "But how do you _know_? You were sleeping with me while still sleeping with her! What if she was doing the same thing?"

"It's complicated, Bella. I don't want to get into the reasons right now but I know, okay? She was with me for a different reason than I was with her."

"I see," she said again.

"You said that already," I chuckled. Bella had a habit of repeating herself when she was nervous or hurting. It was a running joke we had throughout our lives. She would repeat herself…I would point out that she said it already…she would laugh…kissing and sexing would usually follow.

Broken Bella was gone and angry Bella was back when she looked up at me again.

"Is this supposed to be _funny_? Do you think this is a _game_?" I shook my head no and started to speak but she kept ranting. "Well…I guess that's that then hunh?"

"What?" I asked stupidly.

"We're _over_…definitely now. Lauren is obviously more woman than I am. Clearly if you were able to knock her up…the problem here is _me_."

That was ridiculous. The doctor said that her issues would not stop us from having a baby…just make it harder. Bella was a better woman than Lauren could ever dream of being.

"Please don't say that Bella. I am begging you…don't do this."

"What do you expect, Edward? She can give you something that I never will."

"You don't mean that, baby."

"Don't call me baby! Save those terms of endearment for your whore and your demon offspring!"

She stood to leave.

I had to stop her.

I stood as well and grabbed her arm. "Bella, do not walk away from me!" I yelled.

We both seemed shocked at the tone of my voice.

"Excuse me?" She spat as she looked down at my hand on her arm.

"You are acting like a fucking child here! We can be adults about this. Yes, she is pregnant. Yes, I am going to be a man and stand by her and my child. But that does not mean that we are anywhere near over. We…are…not…fucking…over. DO you understand me, Isabella?"

I could not help myself. I needed her badly. I pulled her face towards me over the table where we stood on opposite sides and crashed my lips to hers forcefully.

Our lips molded together and _her_ tongue entered _my_ mouth first. As our tongues danced, I realized how truly at home this felt. I held her face in my hands firmly until she broke away from me.

She slapped me across the face. "Don't ever do that again! You are such a spoiled little brat, Edward! You always have been. I was just too blinded by your love to realize it! You think you can always get what you want because of who you are. Well it doesn't work that way. You can't have me and you never will again!

"You are fucking delusional if you think I am going to stand by and stay with you while you have a baby with that home wrecking slut….especially when you know how I _ache_ to be a mother! I cannot believe what a heartless dick you turned out to be! Carlisle and Esme will be so _proud_ when they realize the son that they have raised is nothing but a two-timing asshole!"

With that, she picked up the cup of coffee that I had bought for her and tossed the liquid into my face.

Thank goodness, it had been sitting awhile or she probably would have actually sent me to the hospital.

"Fuck, Bella! That is still hot goddamn it! And this is my favorite shirt! Why would you do that? You know how much this thing cost!"

She laughed as she wiped tears that were still falling from her eyes. "Of course all you care about is your damn shirt! You really are a pretentious dickhead. How did we ever end up even as _friends_…let alone being fucking _married_?"

As she stormed out of the coffee shop, one thought crossed my mind above all others.

_She kissed me back!_

_She still fucking loved me!_

Bella moved faster than I gave her credit for because by the time I made it outside, her car was gone.

I rushed to Alice and Jasper's house.

"What do you want Edward?" Jasper asked in irritation when he opened the door.

He was supposed to be my best fucking friend. This shit was getting ridiculous. Where was the loyalty from my family and friends in my time of need?

"I need to see Bella, that's what I want, asshole!" I snarled.

I could hear my sister's voice before I saw her. "The only asshole around here is you, brother dear! Besides, do you see her car in the driveway? She is clearly not here, idiot!"

She then appeared beside Jasper, arms crossed over her chest and fuming at me.

"Well, I'll wait then. When will she be back?" I asked indignantly.

Alice did not back down from me. "You'll be waiting a long time then, _Cheatward_. She is going to be gone for awhile…and thanks to you…she is probably not ever coming back!"

I did not have a chance to say anything else before Alice and Jasper promptly slammed the door in my face.

Where the hell had my wife taken off to and why the fuck was she not returning?

This was just not going to work for me.

I was going to find her and get her to listen to me!

_**A/N…Okay, reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 9 which will be BPOV. **_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for betaing this and to teacher1209 for pre-reading. **_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**Married to the Enemy by Gelix**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5965492/2/Married_to_the_enemy**_

_**I am really loving this story so go over and check it out. Tell her I sent you!**_

_**Have a great week my friends. See you next Thursday…if you're not too mad at me. JUST TRUST ME! Have I ever let you down before? **_


	10. Unexpected Encounters

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…SURPRISE! You guys have been so amazing with this story so here is a little surprise update for you! You will still get your Thursday chapter as well! Enjoy!**_

_**I have another song that describes this story perfectly! Thanks to **__Abilynn__** for telling me about this song because I had never heard it before! **_

_You Lost Me__** by **__Christina Aguilera_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=WOKI_tIBWVI&feature=avmsc2**_

_**Song for the Chapter: **__My Happy Ending__** by **__Avril Lavigne_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=z3qd6XmdMR4**_

Chapter 9

BPOV

_**Sunday September 14, 2008: Age 25**_

"_You were all the things I thought I knew and I thought we could be," _I sang along with the radio in my car.

"_You were everything, everything that I wanted. We were meant to be, supposed to be but we lost it. And all of the memories so close to me just fade away. All this time you were pretending. So much for my happy ending," _I continued.

How could he just pretend that everything was okay only to stab me in the back and sleep with _her_? Why wasn't I enough for him?

Didn't I love him enough?

This song was breaking my heart but I needed to hear the words. I needed to sing about how broken I was. Avril really knew what she was talking about for someone so young.

I knew the song well and while not all of the lyrics fit…most of the lyrics were pretty fitting.

"_All the things you hide from me…all the shit that you do," _I sang right before leading back into the chorus.

I was a bundle of different emotions and tears were streaming down my face as I sang. I needed to purge these feelings from my system and I had a three-hour drive to do it.

"_It's nice to know that you were there. Thanks for acting like you cared and making me feel like I was the only one. It's nice to know we had it all. Thanks for watching as I fall and letting me know we were done!"_

He decided we were over when he stuck his dick in that tramp…but he never even bothered to tell me. Then, he delivered his _news_ and completely knocked me down.

I could not make it through the entire song after that verse…I had to shut the radio off completely.

As I looked around the car I was currently driving in, I remembered just how much I hated it with a passion. It would have made me completely happy to keep the truck that my dad bought me in high school but Edward would not hear of it. He said it wasn't safe and I deserved better.

_Hmph…better my ass…like a no good cheating husband who knocks up his whore? That kind of better? _

That was something I could do to hurt Edward! As soon as possible, I was trading in this god awful Volvo that matched his. The only difference was that mine was black. He insisted on me getting it right after we were married.

I never wanted this over priced soccer mom car. Now, I needed to do anything that would change me from being _Edward's_ Bella. That was not who I was any longer and it was time I started acting like it.

Perhaps I would even get his dream car…that would really stick it to the asshole!

The tears had finally stopped and I was getting control over myself as I began to think of other things I could do to hurt Edward.

I loved the new haircut the girls had given me for my birthday. Thank goodness, I was still able to put it up into a bun because I was not ready for Edward to see it just yet. I wanted to hit him with it in the right moment.

It still looked quite different while in the bun since I was working with less hair and I was quite surprised that Edward did not notice it right away. But, I guess he had other _things_ on his mind.

I was shocked when he called and insisted that I meet him for coffee. All I could think of was getting to Forks and to Charlie.

My mind went back to that dreaded phone call.

_**Flashback**_

_**Alice was talking to the person on the phone while Rose tried to calm me and find out what was wrong. **_

"_**Bells, you have to calm down okay. You're going to send yourself into a panic attack. Come on sweetie, what did they say?" Rose asked.**_

_**I didn't answer her…all I could do was cry hysterically. **_

_**Alice hung up the phone and sat beside us on the bed. She gently grasped my face with her tiny hands, forcing me to look at her and really hear what she was going to say.**_

"_**Bella, it's okay. You didn't let the nurse finish. Charlie is all right. He was shot in the leg and he is in surgery right now but he is going to be just fine. That was all she would tell me and she said that you need to come as soon as possible. He was asking for you before he went in for surgery and he gave her your number."**_

_**I breathed a sigh of relief as she released my face and pulled me in for a hug. **_

_**It felt like losing my mother all over again. My dad and I used to be close…before Edward and I got married…before we lost my mom.**_

"_**I need to get to Forks," I said as I climbed over Alice and got out of bed. As I started throwing things into a suitcase, my girls started moving.**_

"_**We'll come with you," Rose offered.**_

"_**No, you both have Emmett and Jazz to think about. I need to do this. I think that…this will be good for me…the time away. I need to tell my dad about Edward and me anyway. Besides, maybe this will be a good opportunity for Charlie and me to work on our relationship."**_

_**That was the truth but also…I knew that even though Rose and Alice meant well…they were clouding my judgment. Right now, I did not intend to take Edward back but if I decided that I wanted to do that, it needed to be my decision not theirs.**_

_**I was more grateful to them then they would ever know, but I could not think with all the meddling. I prayed that they would listen to my reasons for not wanting them to come and not force the issue. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt either of them by telling them to stop pushing or interfering. **_

"_**Bells, you're wanting to run away. Don't do it," Alice said.**_

"_**I'm not running away, Alice! My father was just shot!"**_

_**How could she think that? Just because I needed time away…that did not mean I was running. There was nowhere on the Earth that I could even run from Edward. No matter whether we stayed together or not…he would always haunt me.**_

"_**She's right Ali, this will be good for her…and for Cheatward," Rose said.**_

_**We all laughed at the nickname for my philandering husband and it stuck because as we packed we were all referring to him by that name.**_

_**End Flashback**_

As we packed, I realized that the one person I did need with me more than anyone was _Edward_. It hurt to admit that to myself but it was the truth. He was still my best friend…at least in my heart he was. I needed him to get through this.

I was ready to head out when Edward called me and asked me about meeting him for coffee.

It was not my intention to give in and meet him…but when he mentioned seeing his dad…he made it sound like whatever he needed to tell me had to do with his parents.

_Sneaky bastard._

Of course, I met him when he put it that way. I would do anything for Carlisle and Esme Cullen. They were like my second set of parents…which was why I had yet to tell them about their two-timing son.

It soon became clear to me that he had used his parents to trick me into coming.

When I got to the coffee house, after much deliberation on the drive over, I had every intention of telling him how much I needed him at that moment and begging him to put everything aside and come with me to Forks to hold my hand. Deep down, I knew Charlie was alright, but I was still scared.

After trading barbs with my husband, I was losing my nerve.

I kept looking towards the door of the coffee house trying to see if I could bolt through it before Edward caught up to me. I was chickening out from asking him what I wanted to so I just blurted out the words.

Well…I _started_ to get all of the words out…unfortunately, Edward had news of his own to share.

Damn it…the tears were pooling again as I thought about _that_. I had already calmed myself. I wanted to be strong for Charlie. If he saw dried tears on my face…he would know something was wrong. I suppose I could just play it off as concern for him…but he was my dad…he usually just _knew_ when I was bullshitting him.

My mind kept drifting back to what Edward told me.

If he had not said what he did, I would have begged him to come to Forks with me. He probably would have come and we would have gotten back together.

There was no chance that could ever happen now.

Lauren was fucking pregnant with _his_ child.

_Edward's baby._

I was supposed to be the only mother of his children.

He ruined that for me as well.

Although, it was not his fault that I was a useless, infertile, sorry excuse for a woman. I was a _failure_ at being his wife…a _failure_ at giving him a baby.

It would be better for me to be completely alone.

_No…that wasn't right._

The thoughts drifting in and out of my head were wrong…so wrong. It was _not_ my fault that he cheated damn it! If he had a problem…he should have said something! I would have listened…wouldn't I?

_Did_ he ever try to talk to me?

The truth was…I had been so focused on getting pregnant, I could not honestly say whether Edward had ever _really_ tried to talk to me or not about how he was feeling.

_How sad was that?_

As I tried to push Lauren's pregnancy from my mind…it drifted to thoughts about that kiss.

Edward knew how it affected me when he was passionate, forceful and strong with his kisses. They made me feel wanted as no other kisses ever could. My body was lit with desire when he grabbed me and kissed me the way he did.

_Bastard_.

I was livid with myself for kissing him back…but when he pressed his lips to mine…they were just totally familiar and so Edward. I had missed him terribly…even before I found out he was cheating. He had been distant…well…ever since he started sleeping with Lauren I suppose.

After I left the coffee shop, I called Alice and told her I did not know when I would be back…and that I might not return.

She was upset but promised me that she understood. I had to assure her that I would keep in touch. If I was being completely honest with myself, I did not know how truthful I was being when I told her that though.

I needed a new beginning. The sad part was, Edward was their family…I married into the Cullens. It was time for me to go home to my dad.

It was sounding better and better to start over in Forks with him.

He could get me through this. I was more determined than ever to fix my relationship with him. He needed me and I needed him now more than I ever had.

Dad could set me up with a good lawyer. I had a feeling after his reaction to me telling him that it was over today…Edward was going to fight me tooth and nail through this divorce.

I really did not want anything from him…just to be free.

I was tired of being made the fool and being the one left feeling alone or humiliated.

It was time to move on and finally find out who the real Bella Swan even was.

With a new plan in place, I held my head high as I turned the radio back on to drown out the rest of my thoughts.

Just outside of Forks, as my awful luck would have it…my tire blew out.

Charlie had taught me well and I remembered how to get the car safely to the side of the road.

When I checked my phone, I had no signal. When I looked in the trunk, of course for whatever reason the spare was not fucking there!

Then…on top of everything…it started raining.

Could I ever catch a break?

I started walking towards town…praying nothing out here was going to eat me when I heard a car slowing down behind me.

A man opened the door and stepped out of the car.

Okay…did I say a _man_?

This was more than a man…he was a very _hot_ man.

He was about the same height as Edward with brown hair that was a little shaggy and unkempt.

Oh boy…this guy was way too much like my soon-to-be ex-husband. He really needed to keep driving.

"You look like you could use a hand," he said. When he got closer and smiled, I noticed that he had sparkling beautiful blue eyes and the whitest teeth I had ever seen. He also had some sexy, rugged-looking scruff going on with his face. I was never a facial hair kind of girl…but the scruffiness on this man was intensely _hot_!

_Stop crushing Bella._

_Men are scum anyway! Move along! Get to your father!_

"Um, it's okay. I don't have a spare and I already…called someone to come get me."

I did not want to be alone in a car with him anyway…what if he was an ax murderer or something?

"_Really_? You were able to call someone? I can never get a signal out here," he questioned.

I shrugged.

"I could give you a ride into Forks. I promise, I won't hurt you. It wouldn't be any trouble."

"Thanks, but I'm fine," I assured him.

Everything about him reminded me of Edward…the fact that he was sexy as hell…his demeanor…his cocky smirk. Yes, he was definitely trouble…and I didn't need any of that.

"All right then, I guess I'll just be on my way…if you're _sure_," he offered one more time.

I nodded.

Should I really send him away though? I was in a jam.

He walked slowly back to his car and he would turn around to smile every few seconds. I stood there biting my lip, trying to decide if I was doing the right thing.

This yummy piece of eye candy might be my only rescuer.

We were both getting soaked.

"Wait!" I called. "You're right. I don't have a signal. Can I get that ride?"

He shook his head and laughed, "Get in the car you silly girl!"

We both got in the car and he offered me his hand. "The name's Riley, Riley Mitchell."

"Bella…Bella Cullen…I mean _Swan_. I'm Bella _Swan_," I replied as I shook his hand. I glanced down at my state of dress and was suddenly embarrassed by my appearance.

It didn't even cross my mind to change before I went to meet Edward because I did not care what I looked like for him…however…it was making me nervous that I was dressed the way I was in front of this sexy stranger.

Riley turned around to the backseat and was fumbling with something.

Shit…was he going to kill me now?

When he turned back around, he had two towels in his hand.

"Here, thank god I always keep a workout bag in my backseat. The towel is clean…it doesn't have my man stench on it or anything," he said as he laughed.

I took the towel from him and told him thank you.

I could not believe I had just jumped in a car with a total stranger. Edward would be furious! I loved it!

He tossed the towel he was using into the back and buckled his seatbelt while smiling at me.

He had a great smile…just like…Edward.

Riley started talking again which thankfully brought me out of my daydream about my husband.

"Well which is it, Cullen or Swan?" He asked with a raised eyebrow as he started driving.

"_Swan_," I said with certainty.

"Any relation to Chief Swan?"

"Actually, I'm his one and only child. He was shot this morning and I am headed to the hospital to see him."

"Oh my god, that's awful. He's a great cop and a wonderful man. Is he alright?"

Wow…he knew Charlie. That was a relief. At least he wasn't a total stranger. Charlie would not be _too_ mad at me for getting in Riley's car.

"Yeah, he was shot in the leg. Apparently he had to have surgery and was asking for me so here I am."

"Where are you visiting from?"

"Seattle," I answered.

He pointed to my ring. "The hubby didn't come with you?"

"Um…no," I hesitated as I glanced down at the beautiful piece of jewelry that once meant so much. I did not want to talk about _him_. "How do you know my dad? Are you a law breaker?" I asked with a smile.

What the hell was I doing? Was I actually _flirting_?

"Actually, no. I know your dad because I'm a lawyer. I've worked with him on some cases plus he knows my parents," he replied while smiling back at me.

_A lawyer_.

Mom always said everything happened for a reason.

"Riley, I think we are going to be good friends. I happen to be in great need of a lawyer right now!"

"You don't say?" He said with a chuckle.

Yes, a beautiful friendship indeed.

That was definitely _all_ I needed right now.

Riley gave me his card and told me not to worry about my car. I would be calling him soon for his law services too so the card would come in handy. Before we arrived at the hospital, I briefly explained to him that I wanted to divorce my husband. He seemed eager to take the case.

He was also going to get me a new tire and have a friend of his bring him back to my Volvo. Then he was going to drop it off at Charlie's house since everyone in Forks knew where the Chief lived.

When we arrived at the hospital, I thanked him for rescuing me and that was that.

I found the floor my father was on and the nurses told me he was resting comfortably after his surgery.

When I walked to the door, I stood in the doorway and marveled at the sight before me. It had been way too long since I had seen my own father. It was sad that we had let ourselves drift apart the way we had.

As I watched him sleep, everything that had happened over the last month hit me like a speeding train.

I could not carry the weight of my pain as a broken sob left my chest.

My dad's eyes opened and he whispered, "Bells…"

I ran to where he laid on the bed and cried into his chest, trying to watch out for his IV.

"Oh Daddy! I'm sorry!"

I felt one of my father's strong arms gently rubbing my back. "Shhh…sweetheart…it's okay. I'm glad you came. I've been an old fool, Bells. I'm sorry for pushing you away."

I could not stop crying.

He kissed my forehead and looked around behind me.

"Where's Edward, baby girl?"

That brought on a completely new round of tears that I could not stop. "I don't wanna talk about it right now," I cried.

He kept patting me as he did when I was a little girl. "All right honey, there, there. Daddy's got you. We'll talk when you're ready."

The question was…when would I ever be ready?

_**A/N…First, I want to tell you guys how seriously awesome you are for supporting the story! Thanks so much! **_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing, you should go check out anything and everything she writes!**_

_**Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading! Love to hear your thoughts BB!**_

_**Now…if you would like to see how I picture Riley in this story…you can go to:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 10 from EPOV. **_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**Your Voice Was All I Heard by twimamma…this story SERIOUSLY owned me most of Saturday! It is FANTASTIC!**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5888382/15/Your_Voice_Was_All_I_Heard**_

_**Please go check it out, show her some love, and tell her I sent you! **_


	11. Stupidity

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

Chapter 10

EPOV

_**Monday September 15, 2008: Age 25**_

The way that Bella and I left things between us at the coffee shop yesterday was killing me.

There had to be something I could do that would force her to listen to me.

I needed to know where she was and today I intended to find out…from my best friend Jasper.

He was coming to the hospital to have lunch with me in the cafeteria and I knew that he and Alice told each other everything. If my sister knew where Bella was…so did Jasper.

On my way to the cafeteria, I bumped into my dad.

"Hey, Edward. How are you today?"

"Fine, Dad. I'm meeting Jasper for lunch in the cafeteria though, so I can't really talk right now."

I ran my hands through my hair as I always did when I was nervous.

"Son, is everything okay? I sensed that something was bothering you when we spoke on Saturday."

"I'm fine, Dad. Bella and I…we're just in the middle of a _fight_…that's all. But we'll be all right as soon as _things_ blow over."

"I was afraid of that," he said solemnly.

"Of _what_?" I questioned.

"The rumors going around the hospital have somehow gotten back to her haven't they?"

_Shit…he had heard the rumors. What the fuck was I going to do now? _

"What rumors?" I feigned ignorance.

"You know how nurses are. Apparently, Lauren Mallory has gotten herself into some…_trouble_ and the nurses are going around saying that _you_ are the father of her love child."

_Fuck!___

"Dad…I…" I started.

He raised his hand to stop me. "Don't worry about a thing, Edward. I squashed those rumors as soon as I heard them. I told the nurses who I overheard talking right away that it was not possible. I told them you would never betray your wife that way…I raised you better than that."

I could not place the look on his face when he said that…sadness…possibly _regret_? Why would he look like that if he didn't believe the rumors and had tried to put a stop to them?

I had not spoken so he continued, "I know you're a good man, son. You're a better man than _me_…and I'm very proud of you. Some of those nurses will not be welcome in this hospital any longer if I hear any more of that gossip. Those women have patients to care for. All that foolish talk and idle gossip does is hurt innocent people and I won't stand for it."

This was even worse than I thought. I really didn't think I could feel like a bigger piece of shit…but standing there listening to how my father defended me…how he had so much faith in me…it was awful.

"Dad…" I tried again.

"No need to thank me son, I can call Bella if you would like and explain to her that these rumors are untrue…"

I stopped him there.

I was going to tell him the truth...but the lies spilled from my mouth before I could stop them.

"No! I mean…it's fine. Yes, she heard them one day when she came to see me…but that's not what we're fighting about. We're just fighting about babies. You know…the strain of trying to get pregnant…it's just putting us both through the ringer."

"Ah…say no more. I will let you two love birds take care of your own business. I'll let you get to your lunch. Tell Jasper hello for me. I'll see you later, son."

We gave each other a brief hug and then parted ways.

I was such a loser…now I was adding lying to my father's face to my list of sins.

I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration and continued my trek into the cafeteria.

Jasper looked irritated as he sat at our table and motioned me over to him.

There was not any food in front of him. Did he not realize that we were supposed to be having lunch together? I thought I had made that perfectly clear when I asked him to meet me here.

I wanted to make sure we had plenty of time together for me to pull information on Bella's whereabouts from him.

"Can you make this quick, please?" He huffed. "I am supposed to be having lunch with Alice…and as you know…teachers do not get a very long lunch break. The only reason I am able to leave for lunch at all is because I am fortunate enough to have my free period right after my lunch break…and I would really rather not be _here_."

The look on his face and the tone of his voice told me that he was not upset about being at the hospital cafeteria specifically.

Great…his irritation was with _me_.

"Jasper, I told you I wanted you to meet _me_ for lunch. I miss hanging out with my best friend," I told him.

That wasn't a total lie…I did miss him. Jasper had always been more like my brother than just a friend.

He sighed, "I know you did…but damn it, Edward! I am married to your sister! She is my _first_ priority and she is hurting right now. You are her brother and she has always put you up on this pedestal and looked up to you.

"How do you think she feels knowing that you are capable of the things you have done? I realize that this situation is between you and Bella…but it involves _all_ of us. We are all affected by it and we're all hurting. She thinks that if _you_ of all people are capable of something like this then perhaps _I_ am too! This has made her begin to doubt everything she has ever known and I hate to see my wife in pain! Besides that, I do not agree with what you did.

"Bella is…well…she's just…awesome man. You know this. You two have been together forever. I don't understand how you could seek someone else out and sleep with them. Is there something you're not telling me? Did the sex life you had with Bella suck or something?"

He was way off base with that line of thinking. Until recently our sex life had been phenomenal.

"God, NO! Our sex life was…is…amazing. She just became so preoccupied with wanting to get pregnant and nothing else. It was all she talked about, Jazz. She stopped caring what was going on with me.

"We had to base our whole lives around her ovulation schedule. I felt like she was only using me for my sperm. I know that sounds lame but…I started feeling so _used_…our connection was slowly breaking. She did not feel like my Bella anymore.

"Every time I tried to talk to her about adopting and taking some of the pressure away from us, she would not hear of it. Then, when I would try to talk to her about how cold things had gotten between us, she would pick a fight and pull away from me even more.

"I just needed some affection from somewhere. I know that is fucked up and stupid on my part but I don't know what else to say. If I could go back and change things…I would…but I _can't_."

His face softened. "Look man, I'm sorry that happened. But perhaps the better thing to do would have been to really make your wife listen to how you felt and go to counseling or something. Sticking your dick in another woman was not the right thing to do. That shit always comes back to bite you in the ass!"

I laughed sarcastically, "You have no idea."

Jasper raised his eyebrow in question.

"Lauren is pregnant and it's mine," I said sadly.

The shock registered on his face and then his voice was extremely calm and controlled as he spoke next. I knew from experience when Jasper spoke in this tone he was angry.

"Wait…did you tell Bella this?" He asked.

I nodded.

He slammed his hand down on the table.

"Are you _insane_? You have got to be the dumbest man on the planet my friend! How could you do that to her? No wonder she was so upset when she called…" he trailed off.

"She called?" I questioned with hope in my voice.

"Yes, to tell Ali that she is not coming home indefinitely…and it was right after she met you for coffee. I can't believe you fucking told her!" He said shaking his head.

"Why? I was trying to be fucking honest with her for once! I wanted everything out in the open and no more secrets between us!" I told him.

That was the truth. I didn't want to lie to her anymore or keep anything from her. She deserved to know that no matter how fucked things were…I still saw my future with her…only her.

"Besides that, I know how the rumor mill is around here. We know some of these people outside of the hospital. I didn't want Bella to hear about the baby from someone else other than me."

Jasper sighed and rubbed his hands over his face in frustration. He let out a deep breath and then started talking again.

"Well that changes things. I was going to tell you that maybe you and Bella could still get back together. That's _impossible_ now," he said with regret in his voice.

"Nothing is impossible, Jazz."

"Edward, do you really think Bella is going to stand by with you while you have a baby with the woman you _fucked_ behind her back? You and I both have known Bella for a very long time and we both know that will never happen."

I had nothing to say to that…because he was right. No matter how many times I told myself that Bella and I would find our way back to one another…as long as Lauren was carrying my baby…there was no way that my wife would ever take me back.

Maybe Lauren would be open to getting an…no…I could not think that. Even Bella would never approve of that decision.

Jasper interrupted my train of thought, "Are you sure this baby is even _yours_, Edward? I mean she was sleeping around with a _married_ man. Her scruples are not exactly intact…maybe she was sleeping with someone else."

"Jazz, you don't understand though. Lauren was with me for a different reason than I was with her. I was with her for someone to talk to…sort of…mostly I was just there to get a release and feel needed for something other than baby making.

"She was with me just for sex at first…but she fell in love with me. I really don't think she would cheat on me. She has never given me any reason to think that she would have slept with someone else while sleeping with me," I finished.

Jasper's eyes turned cold. "_Really_? Are you kidding me? Hmmm…let's see…just like Bella _loved_ you…and she _never_ thought you would _cheat_ on her? Are you _that_ fucking arrogant that because you are the great Edward Cullen, you think she would not sleep with anyone but you?

"You're a doctor for fuck's sakes! You're really going to just take her word at face value? She could have been riding a plethora of cocks for all you know."

Bella had pretty much said the same thing. Perhaps there _was_ something to this theory. A guy could hope. It would make my life so much easier if the baby that Lauren was carrying was not mine.

"Or furthermore, what if she's not even pregnant at all, Edward?" Jasper questioned.

That was true! She could be lying. I did not think she was the type of woman to do that…but I prayed that she was.

She mentioned something about a doctor's appointment today. I had blown her off when she asked me to come to it. I was determined now that I was going to it and hopefully I would prove her wrong about being pregnant or me being the father.

"Edward, are you even listening to me?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah, and you're right. Lauren has an appointment with her doctor today. It's with a doctor who isn't here at the hospital. I think she is trying to be secretive, even though she is probably the one who is spreading the rumors all through the hospital."

"It's not a rumor if it's true," Jasper said sarcastically.

"Yes, I am aware of this. Just…_drop_ it. Anyway, I'm going to take off early and go to this appointment with her and see what I can find out." I glanced down at my watch and saw that if I was going to do this, I needed to leave right then. "I've got to get going…but first…how is Bella?"

Jasper shrugged.

"Look, you already told me that she called and talked to Alice! Please…just tell me where she is…_how_ she is doing."

"No can do, bro. I'm sorry man. You made your bed…now you have to lay in it."

As he stood and walked away from me he turned back long enough to say, "I'll tell Ali you said hi. She will never admit it to anyone…but she _misses_ you. Oh and you know _brother_…a good place to start with everyone…might be by actually saying you're fucking sorry and accepting responsibility for what you've done."

With that, he walked out of the cafeteria taking the information on my wife that I needed with him.

What the fuck did that mean?

I had already apologized! Didn't I?

It escaped my mind if the actual words had ever left my mouth or not.

I could not worry about that now. I had to get to that doctor's office. Apologizing would have to come later if I hadn't done so already. Outing Lauren and her lies were the first step of getting my Bella back in my arms.

I prayed that she was lying.

My supervisor was once again pissed off that I was cutting out of work. But…because of my father and the power he held…I could do what I wanted.

I was a golden boy at that hospital and they did not dare fuck with me. I had threatened more than once to go to another hospital when I did not get my way.

Yes, Bella was right…I was a spoiled asshole. Deep down, I knew that I was going to have to change my spoiled, pretentious ways if I ever hoped of getting Bella to return to me.

She put up with all of my issues because she loved me and knew I was completely devoted to her. I fucked up and now I had to prove to her that I could _do_ better…that I could _be_ better.

I just wasn't sure if I could.

I made it to the address Lauren gave me in record time.

She was all too thrilled to see me show up to her doctor's office. She tried to hold my hand in the waiting room and get me to touch her stomach. That was not fucking happening.

The nurse called us back after what seemed like forever and I waited in anticipation of proving Lauren was lying…about being pregnant…or me being the father.

However…the doctor ultimately dashed all of my hopes.

When she did the tests and the initial ultrasound…it was discovered that Lauren was in fact pregnant. Not only that…she was due March fifth and the conception date the doctor gave us was right around the time I first slept with Lauren.

I was completely fucked. This kid was fucking mine.

Lauren could tell I was upset by this news. I questioned the doctor repeatedly trying to find out if she was absolutely certain of these dates.

After the doctor left the room so Lauren could get cleaned up and dressed, she looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"Do you…want one of those…you know DNA tests that they can do when I am like four months along? I'll do it if you want me to, Edward. You have to know that…you are the only man I have been with since November of last year. We started seeing each other in May. You heard the doctor. This is _your_ baby…but if you need more proof…I'll do whatever you want."

That was really all the proof I needed. The fact that she was willing to put the baby at risk to take a test to prove one hundred percent that I was the father…why would she do that if it was going to show someone else as the father?

Fuck! This was the worst day of my life. I did not want Lauren carrying my child!

"Should I have the doctor schedule the procedure?" She asked quietly.

Right…I had not answered her yet.

I shook my head. "No, that won't be necessary. I believe you. I just…fuck! How did this happen? We used a goddamn condom every fucking time, Lauren! I don't understand how this could have happened!"

She shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you, Eddie. You know there is always a chance…even with condoms. One of the condoms you had must have been old and not very good or something."

I knew the condoms were not old. I had never used condoms in my life until Lauren. I had to buy a brand new box just to fuck her. The only woman I had ever been with before her was Bella. She was put on the pill at age fourteen because of her period. We started having sex when we were sixteen and never used condoms.

Unless…one of the new condoms was defective or something. I should fucking sue Trojan for all that they were worth!

I still had not responded to what she said because I had nothing to say to that. Dwelling on what happened with the prophylactic was not going to change what happened or fix things with Bella.

Lauren took my silence as a sign for her to keep talking. I really wished she would just shut the hell up and let me think.

"I know this is not the news that you wanted…but it will be great, Edward. You'll see. When I move in with you and you get to be with…"

"Whoa! What the fuck do you mean…when you _move in _with me?"

Was she insane?

"Well, don't you want to be a part of this pregnancy? I want you to be able to experience everything and you can't do that unless we are living together, silly. You can divorce that frumpy housewife and marry me! It will be perfect, Eddie, I promise!"

Yep, she was definitely insane.

I snapped.

"For the last goddamn time…my name is _Edward_! You have lost your fucking mind if you think you are moving in with me. If you need something, you can call me…that is all! I will be here for you during the pregnancy and I will provide you with money for the _baby_. I will not turn my back on my child no matter who the mother is…but we will _never_ be a couple, Lauren…and we will certainly not be getting _married_…now…or ever!"

I did not hang around long enough for her to respond to that. As I stormed out of the doctor's office, I thought about my next course of action.

My first plan was to head home and drink myself into a coma for the rest of the night. I needed to calm myself after this cluster fuck of a day.

When I woke up tomorrow morning, it would be a new day and I would find out where Bella was and get her to come back to me.

I made a mistake for Christ's sake! Bella could not punish me forever. I would not abandon my child and that meant tolerating Lauren as well.

I could do this…have the baby with Lauren…but keep my wife with me also. There had to be a way.

Jasper was right about one thing, I was Edward fucking Cullen and if anyone could find a way to make this work it was me!

_**A/N…Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing and to teacher1209 for pre-reading. **_

_**Reviewers get a snippet of Chapter 11 from BPOV. **_

_**Story Recommendation: **_

_Bella? Marie?__** By **__FriskyKitten_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5868159/2/Bella_Marie**_

_**I started this the other night and could not stop until I was caught up. It is a nanny story that is different from any that I've read. **_

_**Have a great week!**_


	12. Homecomings

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Hello my friends! This is your regular Thursday chapter. But I have plans tomorrow and I didn't want to make you wait until I got home tomorrow evening in case I sleep in tomorrow morning…so I am posting now for you! Enjoy! **_

Chapter 11

BPOV

_**Thursday September 18, 2008: Age 25**_

My dad was going home today. He would need help around the house and would have to come back to start physical therapy in a week or so.

I called Alice to give her an update on my dad. She pressured me about when I was coming home and I told her that I meant what I said when I left Seattle…I was staying in Forks indefinitely.

She was hurting too and I knew that. I tried to encourage her to call Edward and make peace with him. He fucked up but he was _still_ her brother. She promised me that she would think about it before we ended the call.

The problem with the Alice and Edward situation was that I felt she was using the fact that he hurt me as a reason to knock him down from his pedestal. Over the years, we had been close enough that she had confided many things to me in regards to her brother.

Out of the three Cullen children, for whatever reason, Edward was the golden child. He could never do anything wrong and the Cullen family pretty much revolved around Edward.

Emmett and Alice loved their brother dearly but this favoritism obviously strained their relationships. Emmett was two years older than they were and while he was their protector, he fought with Edward a lot.

Alice always tried to be a good sister to him but the fact that he always got his way affected her more than she ever let on to anyone but me. She never voiced her issues with Jasper because she told me that she didn't want him to think less of her.

Growing up, Carlisle and Esme always made sure that Edward got what he wanted…even if it meant choosing his side over Alice or Emmett's for something.

Sometimes, watching the Cullen siblings carry on made me very happy that I was an only child.

I could leave Edward's house and go home to my simple life with my parents. As I thought about my parents, I longed for my mom once again. I really wished she could tell me what to do now. Charlie would have to do…yeah…he was a pretty great substitute.

I adored my father. I was happy that we were going to get a second chance.

It was my intention to spend my nights at the hospital with Charlie but he insisted on me going home every night to his house. Not wanting to upset the patient, I did as he asked.

The first night there, Riley showed up with take out. He said he had gone by the hospital to check on us and to let me know my car was at Charlie's house with a new tire but Charlie told him I had already left.

_**Flashback**_

"_**You really didn't have to bring me dinner, Riley," I told him.**_

"_**Nonsense…your dad told me he was worried about you eating properly since he had not been grocery shopping for the week yet."**_

"_**I am capable of going to the grocery store, you know?" I joked with him.**_

"_**Yes, but you just got into town. I didn't want you to have to go to the trouble. Besides, I was dying for Chinese food and I hate to eat alone."**_

"_**They have a Chinese restaurant in Forks now?" I asked skeptically.**_

"_**Of course not. This came from Port Angeles," he chuckled.**_

"_**Do you live in Forks?"**_

"_**Yep, but my office is in Port Angeles. I had to go in today and take care of some stuff after I took you to the hospital so I picked this up on my way home. I always get extra so there is plenty here for the both of us. Once Charlie told me his worries about you eating, I knew what to do with the extra food this time," he said smiling **__almost__** the sexiest grin I had ever seen.**_

"_**Well…thanks. I really appreciate it," I blushed.**_

"_**You're really beautiful when you do that, you know?"**_

_**I bit my nip nervously and shrugged slightly. I did not know how to respond to that. I wasn't used to hearing compliments like that from someone other than Edward.**_

_Edward__**.**_

_**I could not remember the last time Edward had done something this thoughtful for me. He used to do romantic and thoughtful things all the time. It had been a long time since that happened.**_

_**Regardless, Riley was sweet. I just did not want him getting the wrong impression.**_

_**Before I could voice my thoughts, Riley spoke again.**_

"_**How is your dad? I know I just saw him…but he's the Chief…he always puts on a brave face. I figured being his daughter; you would know how he is really doing."**_

_**I was thankful he changed the subject and eased the tension in the room.**_

"_**He's great. He should be coming home on Thursday."**_

"_**I am guessing he will need some help around here until he gets better, right?"**_

"_**Yep, you are correct. I'm going to stick around and spend some time with him. I have been away from Forks for awhile and I have really missed him."**_

"_**That's awesome. I have to say…I'm thrilled that you are going to be staying for an extended amount of time. I mean, I'm glad we'll get to spend some time together."**_

_**Whoa…we barely knew each other…way too soon for him to say stuff like that…which reminded me of something I had been meaning to ask.**_

"_**I know you said that you and my dad have worked on cases together and he knew your parents. Do I know you from when I lived here before? I don't remember you."**_

"_**No, I'm five years older than you. You wouldn't remember me. But I did grow up here."**_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**Do you know my husband? Edward Cullen."**_

"_**No, I can't say that I do, but I have heard of him. Everyone has heard of the Cullens and their fortune. I'm sure you've had many people try to take advantage of you guys over the years to get a piece of the Cullen money."**_

"_**Not really. I guess Edward and I for the most part have always been grounded so I really don't think about us being rich."**_

_**That was somewhat true.**_

_**While Edward would act spoiled and pretentious at times…deep down…he really was not like that at all. But the tendencies were there…using your father to get ahead…insisting on a certain China pattern because it cost the most even though it was ugly as hell…worrying over a stupid shirt when you just ripped your wife's heart out...just for example. **_

_**Okay so there were a lot of examples…and I am sure my love for him clouded my judgment on just how spoiled he was.**_

_**But when it came down to it with some of the important things…he was not spoiled at all…our home was modest because it was what I wanted. Yes, he wanted bigger and better but he told me that as long as I was happy he would live wherever, even if it were in a cardboard box.**_

_**I smiled at the memory.**_

_**At times, it seemed as if a non-spoiled totally selfless Edward was fighting his way to the surface.**_

_**It made sense, his parents and siblings were never selfish. I never could understand why Edward acted that way…**_

_**But then I would remember how they doted on him all the time and it would become clear as to why he behaved the way that he did. **_

_**Even though Carlisle and Esme were selfless, it was almost as they felt that it was okay for Edward to act cocky and selfish…and none of us knew why. **_

_**Riley continued talking and interrupted my thoughts. **_

"_**Well, you should start thinking about it Bella. Everything he has is half yours, you know. I won't let you get taken advantage of. Why don't we set up a time for you to come by my office?" **_

"_**Sounds good," I smiled.**_

_**I was not interested in Edward's money…but I would need to think about starting over and how I was going to do it.**_

_**After we decided that I would come by his office Thursday once Charlie was settled, we had dinner together and he left.**_

_**Riley was good company and I could see him becoming a good friend…but nothing else. Unfortunately, for me, I was still in love with my no-good husband.**_

_**End Flashback**_

"Bells…where are ya kid?" My dad asked.

He was sitting up in his bed and I was sitting beside him a million miles away in my thoughts.

"Just thinking," I told him.

"Sweetie, we need to talk before we go home."

"Okay," I said not sure where he was going with this.

"You still haven't told me _why_ you're here without Edward. As far as I know, you two are inseparable. You've been here since Sunday, baby girl. I've been patient…it's time."

I bit my bottom lip and nodded. I was not sure where to start. Should I just blurt it out to him? Ease him into it? What was the best way to tell your father that the man he begged you not to marry cheated on you and ripped out your heart?

"Well…Daddy…Edward and I are kind of…_separated_," I said quietly.

"What? Why? What did that little punk do?" My father seethed.

"Apparently, I was not enough for him…he's been sleeping with a nurse at the hospital for God only knows how long…and she's…she's…pregnant! She's giving him a baby when I couldn't!" I cried.

Charlie opened his arms and I was beside him on his bed in a heartbeat. He patted me on the back and comforted me.

I was waiting for him to tell me he had told me so since he was against us getting married in the first place.

But it never came.

All he did was comfort me and tell me that if Edward was dumb enough to do that he did not deserve me.

"You know Bells. Cullen was always spoiled and cocky…but I never figured that he was a total moron!"

There were not any words I could say to that. I just let my dad hold me while I cried.

"He's not the only idiot around though baby girl. We need to talk about the giant elephant in the room that we haven't discussed."

"What do you mean?" I sniffled.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry that I cut you out of my life after your mom died. I was hurting so badly. I could not stand to be around anyone. I never meant to push you away. Is it too late for us?"

I shook my head no. It was never too late…not for us.

"Of course not, Dad. You're my father…I'm your Bells. I was hurting too and it's not as if I reached out to you. I let you push me away. I'm sorry too! We needed each other and neither of us was there."

"I know. I'm a damn fool, Bells."

"Well it's in the past. Let's focus on the future, okay?" I asked him.

"How did I get such a smart daughter?" He asked with a smile.

I shrugged. "I don't know…clearly I get it from Mom," I laughed.

We both chuckled at that and he kissed my forehead, "That you do my dear, that you do."

After a few moments of silence Charlie muttered, "Wait until I get healed…I owe that little fucker an ass kicking…I may be old but I'm a pissed off father so I think I can take him."

I looked up at my father and smiled, "Dad, I appreciate the sentiment…but you don't need to kick Edward's ass…and you're not old! You're only forty-four!"

"You're too sweet for you own good, Bells. I appreciate that you don't want me to hurt him…but I won't be letting this go. I didn't want you two to get married…but he still made me a promise that he would never hurt you…and he didn't keep it. He will be sorry."

I sighed and let it go for the time being because I knew how my dad was when he was angry…especially where I was concerned.

Shortly after that, his doctor came in and released him from the hospital. Dad was thrilled to be heading home. Growing up, our house was modest and not some big fancy mansion like where my husband grew up, but it was comfortable.

We loved it there. Mom and Dad always went out of their way to make it warm and homey.

Edward did not usually make me feel bad because he had more money than I did growing up but he would make little comments here and there.

I never really thought that he realized how much they bothered me sometimes…but perhaps he did.

_Let's sneak out and go to my place…my room is bigger._

_My house tonight…my bed is better._

_Hmmm…yeah my love for my best friend blinded me to a lot apparently. _

My thoughts had drifted so far I did not even realize I had already pulled the car into the driveway.

"You okay Bella?"

"I'm great. Let's get you in and settled so I can get to Riley's law office. I've got divorce papers to file."

I was shocked when Esme called me on the way to Riley's office. Rather than avoid her forever, I decided to answer since it was almost an hour drive to Port Angeles anyway.

"Hey, Esme," I answered.

"_Bella, sweetheart! How are you? Happy belated birthday! I'm sorry I did not call you the day of but my husband informed me that my wonderful son had special plans for your birthday so I did not want to interrupt_."

Obviously, Edward had not talked to them yet.

"Yeah…it was a _special_ day all right."

"_I'm sure! You can tell me all about it this weekend at Carlisle and I's anniversary party. As you know it's going to be here at the house and I am not sure on the time just yet but I will text you before Sunday with that_…"

I had completely forgotten about their thirtieth wedding anniversary! This was a big one and I hated to do this…but there was no way I could go to that party and pretend that everything was okay between Edward and me.

"Esme, I'm very sorry…but you will have to text that info to Edward. I won't be able to make it this year."

"_What? Why dear? It won't be the same without my other daughter there_," she said sadly.

She was breaking my heart because she sounded as if she were on the verge of tears.

"Well, Charlie was shot on Sunday. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys before today but it has just been crazy. He's okay but he had to have surgery. He is having trouble getting around right now since he was shot in the leg so he really needs my help."

"_Oh no, honey! Of course, you need to be with your father. That is just awful! It saddens me what the world is coming to now days. I'm grateful that Charlie is all right. Shame on Edward for not telling me this! Well…wait…I guess this means Edward won't be here either…he is never far behind you. Can I talk to him?"_

She was breaking my heart because I could tell she was crying. Our parents were the best of friends before we got married. Their relationship drifted when Charlie was not in agreement with the rest of them. Then when Mom died a year later and he shut everyone out…their friendship was non-existent.

Now I had to tell Esme her cheating son was not with me…without the cheating part because I could not be the one to hurt her like that.

"No, um…he didn't come with me. He had work and he will be there for your party. Don't worry, it's not a problem. Dad and I are fine here by ourselves. Listen, Esme…I hate to cut this short but I am losing you…bad reception."

"_Okay…bye Bella. I love you and give Charlie my best_," she said hesitantly.

"Thanks, I will. Love you too! Have a great party!"

I closed my cell phone and threw it in the passenger seat. This could not be happening. My life was so fucked up now.

Tears were falling from my eyes by the time I finally made it to Riley's office. Speaking to Esme was just too difficult. I hated lying to her. She was my mom's best friend…my second mother. This divorce was going to destroy her and Carlisle both as well.

They would never be getting the bronze-haired, brown-eyed or brown-haired, green-eyed grandchildren they had planned on when Edward and I were first born.

My tears were not going to stop any time soon because I needed to call Edward. It went straight to voicemail so I left a message telling him that he needed to call me as soon as possible.

We had to get our story straight until we were ready to come clean.

When I entered Riley's office, he came right out to meet me.

"Hey pretty girl, what has you so sad?"

"Nothing…just an emotional wreck right now. Can we get started on this? I really want to get back to my dad."

"Sure, I want to introduce you to one of my partners. She is going to be handling your case."

"Wait, I thought you were going to handle my case?" I questioned.

He gently grasped my elbow, leaned in, and whispered in my ear, "Yes, but if I'm your lawyer…I can't ask you out on a date…conflict of interest and all."

_Oh shit._

I did not want him to ask me out on a date!

_Did I?_

Of course not! I was not even divorced yet!

"Riley, I am not planning on dating anyone right now. I would very much like to be your friend…but I hope you can understand that it has to stay strictly platonic between us,"

He shrugged and looked at me sheepishly. "I suppose that's fine," he said. He leaned into my ear again and whispered, "However, I am a very patient and persistent man, Isabella."

Chills went up and down my spine and I was unsure if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

Riley was smart, funny, charming and hot as hell. Why couldn't I like him back?

Our conversation was interrupted because a beautiful woman with strawberry blonde hair entered the lobby area.

Riley introduced us and I found myself really liking Victoria Bennett. She assured me that she was not going to let me be screwed over by my husband.

She had to be at court shortly so she had to leave. We set up another meeting for the following week.

For some reason, I could talk to Riley. I found myself telling him things I would never tell someone I knew this little.

He really listened to me…I had his full attention and it was nice.

We talked in his office about the changes I was making to myself without Edward. He liked my idea about getting rid of the Volvo that Edward insisted on and getting _his_ dream car.

The next thing I knew, we were at the closest Porsche dealership getting rid of the Volvo and I had a brand new ride. Edward was going to be pissed when he got the paperwork for that!

The smile on my face could not have been bigger at that thought.

I was now the proud owner of a brand new silver Porsche Carrera GT. Was it awful that I could not wait to see the look on Edward's face?

I had a dizzy spell while we were waiting for the car paperwork and Riley said I was probably hungry. We made our way back to Forks. I let him drive me around in my new ride. It was amazing with the wind whipping through our hair and the songs on the radio.

He made me smile.

That had to be worth something.

We waited until we got into Forks to have lunch because I was dying for some diner food. The Forks Diner had been a landmark in the town of Forks…for as long as I could remember.

Lunch was great. The conversation flowed nicely between us and Riley did not give me too much grief over the fact that I ordered a double cheeseburger, extra fries and a large chocolate milkshake.

I had skipped breakfast…I was _starving_.

The dizziness came back, even after I ate. Once we got back to Charlie's, Riley said he was going to have his friend come get him and take him home. He would catch a ride to work tomorrow and then he would have his car again.

My cell phone rang and I saw that it was Edward. I told the guys that I would be in the kitchen if they needed me but I wanted to take the call in private.

"Hello?" I answered.

I was nervous as hell to speak to this man…my own husband.

"_Bella! It's amazing to hear your voice. I miss you terribly. It thrills me to no end that you called me_…"

"Stop, Edward! Just stop, okay? I only called you because Esme called me about their anniversary party this weekend."

"_Fuck! Dad told me about that the other day. I forgot again. I'm sorry Bella. Do you want me to pick you up for the party? We should go together so they don't get suspicious…"_

"Edward, stop. I'm not going to the party. I'm not even in Seattle…I'm in Forks."

"_Forks? What are you doing in Forks?"_

"Charlie was shot. He's fine…but he had to have surgery on his leg and he needs my help for a bit. I am going to be staying here for awhile."

I was waiting for him to tell me he was heading here now. That was what _my_ Edward would have done…the Edward who loved me in high school and would do anything for me.

_He_ would have been here in a heartbeat no matter whether I actually needed him or not.

"_Oh baby, I'm sorry. That is terrible. Do you need me? I have work…but I _guess_ I could get some time off_."

He _guessed_ he could get time off. _Seriously_?

Clearly, _my_ Edward was not present. This was still _workaholic, asshole Edward_.

_Put anyone or anything else before Bella Edward._

"We're not together anymore, Edward. I absolutely do not need you here. I can do this on my own."

"_Please don't say that Bella. As long as you wear my rings, we are still together. I still have mine on too! We're still married so just stop fucking saying that bullshit! It really pisses me off_!" He yelled into my ear.

I looked down at my rings. Riley pointed it out on Sunday that I still wore them.

They needed to come off my finger if I was really going to do this. I pulled a glass out of the cupboard. I put the cell phone down on the counter as I pulled my rings from my finger. I made sure that they clinked loudly down into the class that was sitting on the counter.

"Did you hear that clinking sound Edward? That was my rings! I just took them off and put them in a glass. It…is…over!"

He roared into the phone, "_I am not fucking playing with you Bella! You fucking put those rings back on right now or I will come to Forks and do it myself_!"

"Oh Jesus, grow up Edward!"

I heard footsteps coming into the kitchen. Since I heard walking and not crutches, I knew that it was Riley. Before I could turn and shush him, he was already talking.

"Bella, is everything alright in here? My friend is going to be here soon. But I didn't want to leave you while you're obviously upset," Riley asked as he entered the kitchen.

"_Who the fuck is that Bella? _Edward seethed.

Okay…it was official…Riley Mitchell had the _worst_ timing in the world.

_**A/N…Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing and teacher1209 for pre-reading. I would also like to thank these two lovely ladies for all of their help by being my sounding board and bouncing ideas back and forth. **_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 12. **_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Parachute__** by **__KitsuShel_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6036478/8/Parachute#**_

_**This story is different from anything I have read so far so go check it out and tell her I sent ya. **_

_**Also, if you would like to see pictures for the story…including Bella's new Porsche…go here:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)**__**com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_


	13. Unexpected Trip to Forks

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Welcome to another SURPRISE chapter of WotR. You guys are getting this because you are so completely full of awesomeness! Per request of **__RoseArcadia__** who is fabulous…I am going to start updating on Wednesday nights. She said this would be good for those readers who need to drink after reading my chapters and this way they won't have to wait until the kiddos go to bed to do so. SO…Wed nights will be my new weekly update time. **_

**__****Song for this Chapter:**

**_I'll Be by Edwin McCain...you can listen here:_**

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=CMiVeK5zGz8**_

_**Here you go…time to hear from Edward. **_

Chapter 12

EPOV

_**Thursday September 18, 2008: Age 25**_

My week had been hectic between working, drinking, avoiding Lauren and trying to find out where Bella was.

I was thrilled when I heard the voicemail she had left for me. She had finally called. I talked myself into believing that my wife was ready to hear me out and give me a second chance.

There was also a voicemail from my mom that I deleted immediately. She was bitching at me about some nonsense that I did not have time for right now.

Bella's voice was soothing as it always was.

It pissed me off to no end to hear her tell me that she was not coming to my parents' anniversary party. I knew that she needed to be with Charlie but goddamn; I needed her there with me.

Then when she pulled that crap about taking her rings off…I became an animal. I was tearing through the house even though there was not much left for me to break. Who the hell did she think she was? I was the fucking man of this relationship…she was not going to leave me! I could not handle that.

I…made…a…fucking…mistake! I was not perfect…but neither was she!

The icing on the cake was when I heard a man's voice that I _knew_ was not Charlie's in the background.

Who the fuck was there with her? How long would it take me to drive there and kick his ass?

She tried to muffle the phone and talk to him but I could still hear everything. Bella was never very good at being stealthy.

"_I'm fine, Riley. I'll talk to you tomorrow…okay?" She whispered sweetly._

Then I heard his next words clear as a bell. A part of me felt as if he even said them louder so that I would hear them.

"_Fine, Bella but for the record, you deserve better than that guy."_

Who was this asshat?

Fuck that! She would most certainly not be talking to him tomorrow…because I was going to Forks to help her take care of Charlie. I would take up all of her time and she would not be able to spend time with or talk to this _Riley_ character.

I hung up the phone quickly and made my way to my rental car. The stupid body shop still had not finished my Volvo. I could bitch at them later…right now I had to get to the house of Charlie Swan.

As I drove, I let my mind drift to better times with my wife.

_**Flashback**_

_**Alice and I met Bella in Kindergarten. Jasper was in second grade with Emmett at the time, while Rose was in first grade. **_

_**We were all immediately close and looked out for one another. Bella always felt like the odd one out because she was an only child. Emmett told her there were already three of us so one more would not matter and she could be an honorary Cullen.**_

_**Little did we know at the age of five, one day she would become an actual Cullen.**_

_**I always loved Bella…but it started as a brotherly love. When we hit puberty and our teen hormones started kicking in, my feelings changed for my best friend. **_

_**At thirteen, I knew that I was in love with her. We attended all the junior high dances together and held hands at football games…but we never declared ourselves to one another as boyfriend and girlfriend. However, as far as I was concerned…that was exactly what we were.**_

_**Unfortunately, because I had never even tried to kiss her…Bella felt differently. **_

_**When we were fifteen, Bella accepted an offer from Mike Newton to attend the homecoming dance with him.**_

_**I was livid. **_

_**My temper was out of control even back then. As I stalked down the hallway to confront Bella about her homecoming date, I saw Newton standing there with her.**_

"_**Beat it, Newton. I need to talk to Bella," I snapped at him.**_

"_**Are you okay, Bells? He looks pissed and I don't want to leave you here with him," he told her. **_

_**What the fuck? Who did this clown think he was? She was my girl…I wasn't going to hurt her. I just wanted to know why the hell she would accept an invitation from him!**_

"_**It's fine Mike. You should probably go. I'll see you in English."**_

_**Mike mumbled something under his breath and stalked off in the opposite direction.**_

"_**What the fuck, Bella?" I screeched at her.**_

"_**What is your problem, Edward? Why do you look like you are about to bust a blood vessel?"**_

"_**Did I hear correctly that you are going to the homecoming game and the dance with that douche?" I asked motioning towards Mike who was now standing down at the end of the hall watching us.**_

"_**Yes, it's true. Why do you care?"**_

"_**Excuse me?" **_

"_**Two years, Edward! Two years, we have been just holding hands! I have been waiting for you to make your damn move and you have done nothing! I am stuck in the friend zone with you and I hate it!"**_

_**Hunh?**_

"_**What are you talking about? You're my girlfriend, Bella!"**_

_**Bella's eyes were wide and she looked as if she were in complete shock.**_

"_**Are you serious? Edward, we have never declared anything like that! You have never even tried to freaking kiss me! You don't own me Edward Cullen! Maybe if you would man up and actually go after what you want…then perhaps I would know what was going on!"**_

_**She slammed her locker shut and effectively ended the conversation as she stormed off to her class. I was left standing there dumfounded. **_

_**I felt a large hand placed on my shoulder. I turned to see my brother standing beside me laughing. **_

"_**What, Emmet?" I snapped. **_

"_**Nothing, bro. It's just nice to see that the great Edward Cullen doesn't always get what he fucking wants," he chuckled. He removed his hand and headed away from me.**_

_**He was fucking wrong about that. I always got what I wanted and Bella would be no different. Just because I had not made my intentions clear enough to her yet…did not mean she would never be mine.**_

_**She was my best friend…we belonged together. I never wanted to be without her…she had to know that. I knew she felt the same…I could feel it when our hands touched…when she looked at me.**_

_**I didn't care that we were only fifteen. I was going to marry that girl. **_

_**She may be going to the homecoming dance with that idiot…but she was going to leave with me.**_

_**A plan started forming in my head and I was more determined than I had ever been with anything. **_

_**About halfway through the night, I made my way to where the DJ was. I asked him to let me use the microphone, which after a monetary bribe, he did so willingly. I cleared my voice, proceeded to tell the entire school that I was in love with Bella Swan, and wanted her to be my girlfriend.**_

_**I then had the DJ play **__I'll Be__** by **__Edwin McCain__**. I knew Bella loved the song and it described how I felt about her. **_

_**As we danced to that song, I knew that it was the best night of my life so far. **_

_**We shared our first chaste kiss that night…in the middle of the high school gym…in front of everyone…and as I had vowed…she left with me.**_

_**Once my mom had taken her home and we were back at our place, I snuck out as I did frequently and made my way back to Bella's on my bike.**_

_**We were always so close that we preferred sleeping in the same bed together. When I started sneaking into her room, I was around ten. I would sneak over to her place whenever Emmett and I fought…which was a lot because he practically hated me.**_

_**Our parents always gave in to me where they didn't Alice and Emmett . Sometimes it was too much for my siblings and we had horrible fights…which led to them fighting with our parents…which led to me retreating to my room and sneaking out to go to Bella. She was always my salvation.**_

_**It was always innocent though. Usually we would sleep with one of us on top of the covers and one of us under. We would look up at her ceiling and talk about nonsense. I always set an alarm so I could be up in time to head home and sneak back in unnoticed.**_

_**However, that night…was the first night that our activities were anything but innocent. Once I was in bed with her, our kisses were anything but chaste. **_

_**Our sleepovers would never be innocent from that point on. By the end of the month, we had moved on from French kissing and over the clothes fondling to me fingering Bella until she came all around my hand and Bella giving me hand-jobs that brought about the most amazing feeling ever.**_

_**Well…that was the most amazing feeling until we actually started having sex. **_

_**We didn't do that until age sixteen…but that was all Bella. I would have done it that first night after the homecoming dance if she would have let me…but she wasn't ready and I respected her wishes. **_

_**She was my angel and I would have done anything for her. **_

_**End Flashback **_

I was a man on a mission. The drive from Seattle to Forks usually took about three and half hours. Thankfully, I did not come across any cops for once so I was able to make it in two and a half.

When I finally arrived, I noticed several things. My dream car was sitting in the driveway of the chief's house…which struck me as odd. It was fucking beautiful…put the Volvo to shame.

Who owned this fine piece of machinery?

Where was Bella's Volvo?

I also noticed that all the lights in the house were turned off…meaning that everyone was probably sleeping.

That car had better not belong to that douche nozzle, Riley…because if he was sleeping in there…anywhere near my wife…Forks was going to have the first murder in the history of the town tonight!

As I made my way to the front door, I could not resist gently running my fingers along the hood of the beautiful Porsche. I frantically searched the porch for the fake rock where they usually kept the spare key hidden at the bottom. It was nowhere to be found.

Damn it. I wanted to sneak in on her and catch her up to no good with that moron. Unfortunately, I was going to have to wake her up instead.

I made my way over to the side of the house that held her bedroom and began throwing pebbles up at her window.

After about fifteen minutes of this, her window finally opened to reveal my exhausted-looking but still amazingly beautiful wife.

"What are you doing here, Edward? You need to leave!" She yelled in a whisper.

"Open the front door baby, I need to see you! That asshole is not still here is he? Bella, I swear to all that is holy if you are sleeping with him…he is fucking dead!"

Even from where I was standing below her window, I could see her roll her eyes.

"Are you even listening to yourself, Edward? Jesus, could you even _attempt_ to act like an adult for once? You are the cheater! Not me. Riley left a while ago, not that it's any of your business. Go back to Seattle! I am too tired to deal with this. I need sleep and you need to leave!"

"Let me come up! I'm tired too…I can't drive back right now. _Please_? I'll drive back in the morning. I'll even sleep on the couch. Just unlock the front door," I lied.

There was no way in hell that I was going back to Seattle tomorrow and there was no way in hell I was sleeping on the couch. She was my wife for fuck's sake and I was damn sure going to be sleeping in her bed.

A smirk appeared across her face as she said, "I'll leave the window open tough guy, and if you can climb your non-sixteen-year-old ass up that tree and get in…then you can stay the night. But only on the couch and not anywhere near me! Now leave me alone! I'm going back to sleep!"

With that, she was gone from the window.

She clearly underestimated me. I might not have been sixteen anymore but I started climbing my way into her window when I was ten. It was just innocent until the age of fifteen. I was very fit and there was no way she was keeping me out…not now…not ever.

I would always fight for Bella…she was my everything.

I knew I had fucked up but Jesus…she needed to just let me fix it.

After barely any struggle, I climbed the tree outside her window and made my way into her room. It still looked the same. The chief never made any changes around here. He completely closed off after Renee died.

I silently hoped that Bella could get her relationship back with her dad while she was here. I knew she had missed him terribly over the last few years.

She was completely passed out in her bed and looked like an angel. We could talk tomorrow.

I stripped down to my boxers and climbed into bed with her. As I pulled her into my chest to assume our spooning position that we had not been in for a very long time, I felt as if I were finally home. It felt so right to have her there in my arms. I had missed this…how had we drifted this far apart?

I could not remember the last time I held her like this while she slept and just stared at her as I was currently.

How had I forgotten how beautiful she was?

Why did I let it escape my mind that she was the most important thing to me in the world?

When we would lie like this as teens, I would always whisper to her how much I loved her and that I would never hurt her.

That was exactly what I did…I never stopped loving her…but damn it I had still fucking hurt her…ripped out her heart in fact.

I was such a bastard.

Sadly, though, I did not care. If I were a better man, I would not be laying in bed with my wife when I knew it was going to anger her even more with me.

However, I was always selfish when it came to Bella and I craved her so I was going to take what I could get.

She relaxed into my arms and pressed her backside into me. It did crazy things to my cock very quickly. Before I knew it, I was hard as a rock and trying to imagine anything disgusting to make it go away.

Once I was finally able to tame the beast, I nuzzled my face into Bella's hair. It felt different…hmmm…she must have been sleeping with it put up for some reason.

She smelled the same…like strawberries…freesias…and _home_.

I found myself drifting into the most peaceful sleep I had been blessed with in months.

_**Friday: September 19, 2008**_

I was having the best dream about sexing up my hot wife while sporting a painful erection when I felt myself being pushed off the bed with great force.

"What the fuck are you doing here, Edward?" Bella screeched.

From the floor, I could see her eyes glaring at me as she stood over me.

"You didn't have to push me out of the bed, Bella! Fuck! When did you become so goddamn violent?" I said as I stood. I started rubbing the side of my head because it had hit the nightstand a little on my way down to the floor.

She apparently did not give a shit that I was in pain.

Nice…love you too…_wife_!

As she stood in front of me fuming with her hands on her hips, I finally noticed things I that I did not the previous night.

I now knew why her hair felt fucking different!

She had cut her hair…_my_ hair.

Her rings were not on her finger.

This was bullshit!

"You cut your hair! You know I liked it the way that it was! Where the fuck are your rings? I distinctly remember telling you to put them back on or I would do it for you! Whose Porsche is in the driveway? Who was that Riley fucker who was here? Is he _fucking_ you? I will kill him if he is Bella…don't _push_ me!"

Once I started my verbal diarrhea, I could not stop.

Her eyes turned colder as she started her own verbal assault. "You have got to be kidding me, Edward! Guess what? It's none of your business who I am sleeping with but for the record you are still the only man I have ever been with! Another thing, I don't give a shit how you liked my hair! This is the new me! I'm wearing it the way that _I_ want it!

"I told you last night that I was taking my rings off! They are still downstairs…in the glass…where I left them! They mean nothing to me now! You made sure of that when you stuck your dick in that slut! Let me ask you something, did _you_ wear _your_ wedding band while you fucked _her_?"

Oh shit.

My silence told her everything.

I stood there and let her slap me across the face…_twice_. At least she was _touching_ me.

"I can't believe you! We took wedding vows…that were supposed to be sacred! Yet you wore that ring you were supposed to _cherish_ while you fucked someone who was not your wife. Wow, you are a _class act_, Edward Cullen!" She said sarcastically.

"Bella…please…I've never taken my ring off…I just…"

She cut me off as she held her hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom. I followed behind her and found her kneeling over the toilet, emptying the contents of her stomach.

I quickly grabbed a washcloth and ran cool water over it. I gently pulled her hair back and ran the washcloth over the back of her neck.

"Baby, I hate to see you like this," I told her gently.

"Edward, just go away. I've got this damn flu bug and I've been handling it just fine on my own. I don't need you. Please leave me alone," she said in defeat.

_Flu_?

"Bella, how long have you been getting sick?"

"A while, now please leave! You're going to wake up Charlie and he will shoot you. On second thought, maybe that would be a good idea!"

I scoffed at her. "We both know that your father sleeps like the dead! Otherwise, I would be six feet under by now given the amount of times I snuck into his house and fucked his baby girl senseless when we were in high school. You know that you've never been able to be quiet when I make love to you, angel."

She was finished getting sick so she pushed my hands away from her and got up from the floor. "Stop, Edward…just stop saying things like that to me. I hate you right now and I don't want you near me."

"See…you hate me _right now_…but not _always_. You kissed me back in the coffee shop, baby. I know that you still love me!"

I followed her back into her bedroom.

"It doesn't matter whether I still love you or not. I will never forget what you did and honestly, I don't think I can ever forgive you. You have completely broken my trust in you. We can't build a relationship with broken trust. I'm sorry, Edward. You really need to go," she finished.

As she said the last words, she looked a little woozy. I helped her sit at the edge of her bed. "Are you alright, love?"

She caved and laid her head on my shoulder after I quickly sat down beside her to make sure she did not fall. "Please stop saying things like that. Stop calling me by those pet names. It just makes it hurt so much worse, Edward," she whimpered.

"I'm sorry, I'll try to stop."

I took in her appearance. She appeared to be falling asleep on my shoulder.

_Getting sick…_

_Dizzy…_

_Exhaustion…_

A light bulb went off in my brain and I prayed that I was right. I had an idea about what was going on with her…if I was correct…it could be the answer to everything.

"Bab…I mean…Bella…have you been getting dizzy like this as long as you've been throwing up?"

"I guess," she mumbled.

My grip around her tightened as I hugged her to me. I did a happy dance internally when she let me hold her and did not pull away from me.

"Bella…could you be _pregnant_?"

_Dear God, please let her say yes._

_**A/N…Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing and teacher1209 for pre-reading. Love you ladies and you are both amazing!**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 13 that will be BPOV.**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**The author **__kdc2239_

_**She has two amazing stories! **__Fuggiasco__** and **__A New Normal__**. They both own me! **_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5961148/3/Fuggiasco**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5594908/24/A_New_Normal#**_

_**Enjoy your Saturday my friends!**_


	14. Good News, Bad Timing

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…SURPRISE! Hello my lovely readers. You guys have been so completely amazing…showing much love and support for this story…so I give you another extra chapter this week! **_

Chapter 13

BPOV

_**Friday September 19, 2008: Age 25**_

"Bella…could you be _pregnant_?" Edward asked in a whisper. His voice sounded…almost _hopeful_.

It was ridiculous to think that after all this time…_now_ I was finally pregnant.

There was no way…because…surely, fate would not be that cruel.

However, I had been moody…exhausted…nauseous…dizzy…

Was I really pregnant?

I needed to figure this out without Edward here.

"Edward, that is ridiculous! Of course, I'm not pregnant! I'm broken, remember? I can't make babies," I answered sadly.

"Bella, please. I honestly believe that you might be…and I am a doctor. Would you just humor me and take a test?"

Maybe it would be a good idea to take one…and I could take it in privacy. Yes, I would allow this.

Ever since I got the false positive, I would normally take more than one test when I thought I was pregnant. Something about this time felt…_different_ though.

A lot of the things I had happening to me lately…_were_ pregnancy symptoms…Edward was right about that. I had just figured they were caused by the stress of everything happening in my life.

But, the doctor did tell us that it could happen when we least expected it.

"All right, I'll take a test. My stomach is upset though, so I need to go get some saltine crackers and lay down for a bit. Then, I will go buy a test."

"Don't be silly. You stay right where you are. I'll go downstairs, get your crackers and then go buy you a test while you rest, swee…Bella."

"What are you going to do if Charlie wakes up? I need to make him breakfast and take care of him, Edward. That is why I'm here. He will not be happy to see you here…because…he knows what you did."

"Well that's great. Thanks for throwing me under the bus, _honey_," he said sarcastically.

Did he expect me not to tell my father what he did?

"Maybe if you weren't such a fuck-up, I wouldn't have, _sweetheart_," I snapped.

He tugged on the ends of his hair as he always did. "Goddamn it Bella! I am _trying_ here. Would you cut me a little slack, _please_?"

I crossed my arms over my chest as I sat down on the bed. "Nope," I told him defiantly.

"Fucking fine! I'll be back," he said.

I decided to curl up once again in my nice, snuggly comforter. I let the warmth envelop me and I drifted back to sleep.

"_**Edward…I'm ready," I whispered.**_

"_**Baby, are you sure? It's going to hurt you," he answered with hesitation.**_

"_**Seriously? You've been bugging me to have sex forever…telling me your dick was going to fall off if we didn't…and now you're nervous and having second thoughts? I will never understand boys!" I huffed.**_

"_**I just don't want to hurt you, love. I would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I love you, Bella."**_

"_**I love you too and I want to give myself to you. You're driving me crazy with lust and I want us to do this, Edward. I want us to be able to physically express our love for each other."**_

"_**But…I don't know if I can be gentle with you…and that's what you need for our first time…I just want you so fucking badly," he whimpered.**_

"_**You won't hurt me, I know you won't."**_

I gasped and sat up quickly in my bed. I kept having dreams that were actually memories with Edward. This time, I was remembering our first time.

He swore he would never hurt me.

Yet, that was exactly what he did.

I glanced to the nightstand and noticed that there was a package of saltine crackers sitting beside a glass of water.

When I looked at the clock, I realized that almost two hours had passed since I had lain back down. I wondered what happened to Edward. He should have been back by now…unless…_Charlie_.

I grabbed the crackers and started eating them as I made my way downstairs to see if my dad was awake or if Edward was dead.

My dad was sitting on the couch with his leg propped up on the coffee table.

There was a tray sitting beside his legs with a mostly empty plate that looked as if previously had bacon, eggs and toast on it.

"Dad?" I questioned as I came up behind him.

"I'm not happy that your _husband_ is here Bells. He hurt you and I could rip him apart for that. He's lucky I am still in this goddamn cast! He made me breakfast and said he was going to get your some medicine. Are you alright baby girl?"

"Yeah…I'm just not feeling very well this morning…stomach issues."

"Hmph, it's probably because that cheating asshole showed up here! That makes me sick to my stomach too!" He sniped.

"Probably so. Well…I'm going to go back upstairs and lie down while I wait for him."

"I could just holler for you to come get the medicine Bells when he gets here. You don't have to see him if you don't want to."

"I want to…we need to talk."

Charlie shook his head. "Please don't make this easy for him honey. You deserve better than some cocky, arrogant, good for nothing son of a bitch who is going to sleep around on you. I want better for my girl."

I walked over and kissed him on top of his head. "Thanks, Daddy. I'm still getting a divorce. I wanted to talk to him about that. He only showed up because he heard Riley's voice last night and got insanely jealous. You know how he is."

He chuckled at that, "Serves him right."

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" I said.

"Sure honey…but if he upsets you, I'm getting my gun," he said without blinking an eye.

I shook my head and went back to my room. I would have to make sure I did not let Edward upset me…as angry as I was at him…I did not want my father to shoot him.

I sat down on the edge of the bed and ate a few crackers while I thought about whether or not I was pregnant.

I was afraid to let myself hope…after so many failed attempts.

It would be ironic if I finally found out I was pregnant…when I was in the process of divorcing the baby's father.

I was on my fourth saltine when Edward opened my bedroom door. He looked disheveled and still as haggard as the last time I had seen him in Seattle. I had not really noticed his appearance until now.

He held up a bag from the pharmacy.

"Edward, are you sleeping? Eating properly? I mean…you look _awful_. You're drinking a lot…aren't you?"

That's exactly what he looked like…someone who had been drinking way too much and was spending a lot of time hung over. How was he managing at the hospital? He was going to be kicked out of the program.

"Don't worry about me right now…please take this test and find out if we are having a baby."

"All right," I conceded.

I took the bag from him and headed into the bathroom. He followed behind me and I started to close the door in his face.

"Excuse me! This involves me too! I'm coming in with you," he said.

"No…you're not! I'm going to pee on a stick, Edward. I don't need your eyes on me while I do that."

"I'll turn my back then. I want to be with you while we wait for the results."

"Fine…go wait in my room and then I'll bring the test in there and we can wait together. But, I don't need you hovering."

He nodded and left. Once I had completed the testing procedure, I left the test on the bathroom sink and returned to my room.

Edward was pacing back and forth while pinching the bridge of his nose. He really needed some new nervous habits. Throughout his entire life, he either pinched the bridge of his nose, or pulled at his hair when he was nervous, frustrated or angry.

It was then I decided I needed some answers. The reason I didn't want Edward with me when I took the test was because…I was unsure if I was going to tell him the truth of the results or not.

How he answered my next questions would determine whether or not I was going to let him know I was having his baby, if the test was positive.

"I need to ask you something," I said softly.

"You can ask me anything," he replied.

I sat back down on my bed while he sat in the rocking chair in the corner.

"Did you find out for sure if Lauren is pregnant?"

He nodded.

"_And_?" I questioned.

"She is…and the timing is appropriate for the baby…to be…mine."

"_Timing_? You're going by _timing_? You're not going to have a DNA test?" I asked skeptically. He was insane for not demanding one.

"Bella, she offered to have one done when she's four months. But…as you and I both know that poses risks to the baby. Um…if she's willing to…then…I have no reason to believe that…"

I put my hand up to stop him. I knew what he was getting at…if she was willing to risk her child just to prove paternity…then she more than likely knew the results would come back as Edward as the father.

Fucking great.

"I see," I whispered.

"I went to the appointment with her. Apparently, a condom must have broken because…well…here we are…she is pregnant and it's _mine_."

It concerned me that he had sex with her, with condoms breaking and continued to have sex with me.

"Edward, we both need to get tested. Lauren is a _whore_ and if your condom broke and you were still having sex with me…I don't want some funky ass disease. _Please_ get tested."

"Anything you want, Bells." Before I could tell him to move away, he was kneeling in front of me, taking my hands in his.

"Baby, this changes _nothing_. I love _you_…I fucking hope you are pregnant with my child because it will bind us together forever. You are my world, sweetheart. I made a mistake. I can fix it. Just because Lauren is pregnant with my baby, we can still be together. It…changes…_nothing_."

He was wrong though…it changed _everything_.

His one _mistake_ as he had called it changed our entire lives…forever.

No matter what the results of the test were…I knew what I had to do now that he had answered my questions.

"Bella, it's time…let's go see the test," he said softly as he released my hands.

"Edward…you know how hard this is for me…please…I need some time to look at it by myself. Is that okay? I won't be long."

"I would do anything for you, Bella. Of course, you can go look at the test alone. But please hurry back because the suspense is killing me. I want this so badly."

I could see the exhaustion in his eyes. But in that moment, as he expressed his desire for me to be pregnant…he looked like that sixteen-year-old boy pleading with me to have sex with him…wanting something so intensely yet so afraid that it was never going to happen.

It kind of broke my heart that either way, his wants would be unfulfilled since I had already made up my mind as to what he was going to be told…whether the test was positive or not.

I placed my hand delicately on his cheek and said, "I'll be back soon."

It felt like the death march should be playing in the background as I walked to the bathroom. I had wanted this for a long time…and if I was being honest with myself…I still did.

Even though the timing was horrible, I wanted this baby…if there was one.

My breath hitched as soon as I looked at the test because there as clear as a bell was the word _pregnant_ displayed across the digital test.

Tears fell from my eyes. They were tears of joy because this was finally real. This time, I had symptoms along with the positive test…it had to be a fact…and deep in my heart I knew that it was.

It just had to be…otherwise I would be devastated…again.

They were also tears of disappointment. I was about to tell a lie and I hated it…and there was disappointment that I did not intend for my baby to ever know its cheating father.

He had destroyed me and I would not allow him to do the same to our child.

Yes, this was for the best.

When I walked back into my room, Edward had the most hopeful look on his face I had ever seen as he spoke. "_Well_?" He asked.

I shook my head no.

"But don't worry…you will get to play Daddy to your baby with Lauren…so no loss there for you…right?"

He was in front of me in a heartbeat, grasping my face in between his hands.

"Fuck, Bella! You know that's not how I see this at all! I wanted _you_ to be carrying my baby…not her."

I shrugged.

"Maybe you shouldn't have fucked her then."

"Jesus, do you have to be so crass about it?" He asked in annoyance.

"Well…what else would you call it…_making love_?"

My breath hitched after I said the words. He had not removed his hands from my face and the tears continued to flow down my cheeks.

It had never occurred to me that he might have been in love with her. That would surely destroy my already broken heart. If he told me that he was in love with her…my heart would be beyond repair.

"Do you _love_ her?" I asked as I stared deep into his eyes.

"I don't love her…it was _never_ about that. The only woman I have _ever_ loved or will ever love is _you_, Isabella."

I pushed his hands away from my face.

"That's too bad…if you loved me so much perhaps you shouldn't have just thrown it away like yesterday's trash!"

He groaned in frustration.

"You need to leave, Edward. I'm getting upset and Charlie said if you upset me…he's getting his gun. Please go!"

"I'm not finished talking to you yet. You never answered my questions…whose car is that in the driveway? What is the real reason that you cut your hair like that? Did that Riley fucker get you to do it? What happened with that asshat and who is he anyway? I'm not leaving until I get some answers."

His total demeanor had changed. He was angry now because I was making him leave and not letting him get his way.

He was still standing in front of me and he shoved his hands in his pockets before roughly grabbing my hand. As he shoved my rings back on my finger he said, "I told you I would put these on for you. I grabbed them when I made Charlie his breakfast this morning. Now…answer…my…goddamn…questions!"

"Fine!" I shouted at him as I walked towards my window to give myself some breathing room.

I pointed out the window, "That beautiful new Porsche out there is…_mine_! I cut my hair to hurt you! _You_ love my longer hair…I don't want to do anything that makes you happy! That is the _only_ reason I cut my hair…there is not another one! Riley rescued me from the rain when I had a flat tire in the Volvo on the way to see my dad at the hospital. He also happens to be a _lawyer_!"

I noticed the recognition cross his face…then there was a scowl…so I decided to push the knife in a little further.

"That's right…I've already talked to a lawyer. Riley set me up with one of his partners and she will be handling my case…get ready to pay, _husband_!" I yelled as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Why the fuck are you consulting with lawyers, Bella? This is bullshit and you know it! We are not getting a divorce! I will not allow it…over my dead fucking body will our marriage be dissolved!"

I decided to put one final nail in our marriage coffin.

I slid my rings off my finger once again and threw them at him. "It's too late, Edward. The divorce is happening. I want to be free of you and your lies!"

With that, I stormed into the bathroom and locked the door.

Edward followed me and banged on it relentlessly. "Goddamn it, open the fucking door or I will kick it in, I swear to God!"

"_Edward! Do I need to get my gun, son_?" I could hear Charlie yell from downstairs.

"Go Edward!" I yelled again.

I heard one final pound on the door and then his voice, "Fine…I'm leaving…but remember this…_sweetheart_…that money that you used to buy that fucking car you love so much…was _my_ money! You will be sorry for this Bella. You are not going to _divorce_ me and if you want to do this the hard way…so be it."

My body slid down the door until I reached the bathroom floor.

How did I get here?

I cradled the positive pregnancy test in my hands. I needed to get to a doctor…and _soon_.

I would need to be monitored since I had such a hard time getting pregnant. As I pressed my hands gently over my stomach, I took a moment to let everything sink into my brain.

_Pregnant_…I was finally _pregnant_.

"One thing is for certain, baby…even though things are crazy right now…you are going to feel nothing but love and devotion from your mommy. I've waited so long for you and I won't let anything or _anyone_ hurt you."

I prayed that there was actually a baby in there for me to talk to and that it was not another false positive.

First order of business tomorrow…call a doctor.

"_Bells? Can you come down here please? Edward's gone…we need to talk honey. I want to make sure you're alright_," my father yelled.

Shit…that's right…he needed to be told.

I went downstairs and my father was standing in the living room on his crutches staring at the front door.

"What happened, honey? Tell me what's going on?" He pleaded.

I wiped the tears off my cheeks and shook my head no, as I tried to will the new tears away. My dad sighed and made his way to the couch. He sat down and propped his leg back up on the coffee table. Then, he patted the cushion beside him.

His arms were open wide for me and I ran to them.

Charlie just held me and whispered words of encouragement to me while I cried. In that moment, it was everything that I needed.

We could talk about the cold hard truth of my reality tomorrow morning…for now…I just wanted to cry and forget.

_**A/N…Thanks to dolphin62598 and teacher1209! You're both amazing!**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 14…and it's a moment a lot of you have been waiting for…dun dun dun. **_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Guarding Bella Swan__** by **__coachlady1_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6064435/1/Guarding_Bella_Swan**_

_**If you're not reading this yet…run and do so now! It's only a few chapters in so far but it's fabulous!**_


	15. Startling Revelations

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Song in this chapter**_

_**How Deep is Your Love by The Bee Gees**_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=NpqmGx7meQw&feature=av2e**_

Chapter 14

EPOV

_**Sunday September 21, 2008: Age 25**_

Today was my parent's 30th anniversary and the last thing I wanted to do was go to their fucking party and pretend to be happy. It would kill me to watch them so in love together.

They married at eighteen…and they knew how to make it last…thirty damn years!

Things did not go as I had planned with Bella on Friday. When I saw the way that she looked and realized the symptoms that were plaguing her, I was positive that she was carrying my child.

Disappointment surrounded me as I remembered what happened.

_**Flashback**_

_**I was thrilled when I told Bella that I thought she was pregnant. This could have been the answer to our problems. She would have to put up with me if we were having a baby together.**_

_**Besides that, I saw the hope in her eyes when I told her she could be pregnant and it made me remember why we started trying in the first place.**_

_**It was because we loved each other immensely and wanted a product of that love to share for the rest of our lives.**_

_**I wanted to go back to that. **_

_**When I left her in the bedroom, I ran downstairs with a spring in my step that had been missing for the longest time.**_

_**I was positively giddy about going and buying the pregnancy test. I just knew that this time it was true.**_

_**Charlie was sitting on the couch. He was shocked when he saw me and extremely pissed. He stood with his crutches and at first I thought he was about to hit me with them.**_

"_**What the hell are you doing in my house, Cullen?"**_

"_**I came to see Bella; she is my wife you know?" I did not mean to sound like such a smart ass but I could not help it. Charlie never liked me and he certainly would not be making things easy for me now.**_

_**Charlie scoffed, "Right…well you've done a bang up job of honoring your wife! You need to get out of my house before I get my gun!"**_

"_**Please Charlie…I know I have messed everything up. But, Bella and I were talking, and she's not feeling well. She's upstairs sleeping and I promised to go to the store and bring back some medicine for her. Can I at least do that please?" I pleaded with him.**_

"_**I suppose…" he hesitated.**_

_**I turned and headed towards the front door when I heard him hobble into the kitchen on his crutches. Then I heard a commotion from in there when my hand was on the doorknob. **_

_**I sighed.**_

_**Charlie was not my biggest fan right now and the feeling was mutual…but he obviously needed help.**_

_**He was a good man…and I could not just leave him in there struggling.**_

_**I walked into the kitchen and found Charlie mumbling to himself about being an invalid and I told him to get back into the living room because I would make his breakfast.**_

_**The look on his face told me that it was killing him to allow me of all people to help him. **_

_**When he left the kitchen, I cleaned up the milk that had spilled when Charlie was trying to make a simple bowl of cereal.**_

_**Looking in the refrigerator, I found there was not anymore milk. I pulled out the bacon and eggs that were in there and made him that.**_

_**He face softened for just a moment when I took his breakfast to him on a tray.**_

"_**Thanks, Cullen…the jury is still out on whether I should shoot you or not though."**_

"_**I would expect nothing less from you, Chief. I hurt your daughter so I deserve it."**_

"_**And you do realize, if I was not crippled up right now…I would have already handed your ass to you…old or not."**_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**I also hope that my Bells can finally see you for what you really are and divorces your sorry ass."**_

_**His words angered me, but I expected him to feel that way.**_

_**I did not dignify his words by responding to them. "Enjoy your breakfast," I told him as I finally headed out the door.**_

_**The day just got worse from there. Bella and I had a huge fight after she told me was not actually pregnant. **_

_**I could not take her words. It was upsetting enough to know that she was not pregnant but then she had to keep throwing those verbal jabs at me about Lauren still having my baby. Then she told me about the car and the reason that she cut her hair and I lost every bit of control that I had.**_

_**She had never angered me more than that moment. **_

_**Before making my way downstairs after my final words to her, I went back to her bedroom and retrieved her rings from the floor where she had thrown them at me. **_

_**This was not fucking over by a long shot!**_

_**Once I made it downstairs, Charlie was standing by the last step on his crutches, his face red with anger.**_

"_**You need to get out of here, Cullen! I was just on my way to get my gun and I suggest you are gone by the time I get back."**_

"_**Don't worry, I'm fucking leaving!" I spat as I headed back to my car.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Honestly, I was still fuming at her behavior on Friday. How dare she throw her wedding rings at me and rub things in my face?

That was uncalled for and she would be sorry.

First thing tomorrow, I was calling the family lawyer and getting everything that had her name on it frozen.

We did not have a prenuptial agreement…I never thought I would need one. However, the Cullen family had enough power and money that I could tie up her precious divorce for a long time…just to piss her off. She wanted to play…so we would play!

I would probably even get them to come repo that fucking car!

It was in _my_ name!

Technically, it was _mine_…not hers.

She would regret the day she decided to talk to a fucking lawyer!

Bella Cullen would not get away with hurting me.

I took a cab to my parent's house for the anniversary party. There was no other option since I had already been drinking heavily before I left.

Upon my arrival, Alice and Jasper immediately approached me.

"Why are you here in a cab…" Alice started but did not finish.

She eyed me with disgust and covered her mouth. "Never mind…you reek!" She mumbled behind her hand.

"Edward, getting drunk constantly is hardly the answer man," Jasper told me.

"Really? Then what is the fucking answer, Jazz? Please tell me!"

"This is not going help anyone, Edward! Then again, I don't know why I'm surprised! You've always thought of no one but _yourself_…so why would _now_ be any different?" Alice spat.

"Oh so you're speaking to me now, _sister_?" I snapped.

Before she could start in on me, Jasper got in between us. "Listen, this day is about your parents. The two of you need to pull it together because unless there is something I don't know…Emmett, Carlisle and Esme still do not know what is going on between you and Bella," he said while looking at me.

Alice and I both shook our heads no. "No one has told them unless _he_ has," Alice said with contempt.

"Fine, then Edward you need to pull it together. Try to sneak in, go to the bathroom and try to make yourself look as if you're not drunk off your ass! Ali, you need to settle down and remember the reason behind this day."

Alice nodded and walked away with Jasper at her side.

I did as my brother-in-law told me. Sneaking in to the house was not a problem...but sneaking in while drunk…was.

Somehow, I managed to make myself appear somewhat sober and made my way to the living room where most everyone was gathered.

I looked around the room and took notice of who was there. It was all of our family, except for Bella, along with some friends and colleagues of my parents.

When I first entered the main area of the house, my parents were dancing slowly on the makeshift dance floor in the living room. They were dancing to their wedding song, _How Deep_ _is Your Love_ by _The Bee Gees_.

My parents could not take their eyes off one another. It made me feel uncomfortable to watch the love the shared between them.

Alice and Jasper were huddled in the corner looking into each other's eyes. Anyone looking upon them could see how in love they were.

Emmett and Rose were dancing beside Mom and Dad. They were all making me sick with their couplings.

It pained me to see them happy when I was completely miserable. Their love was what I wanted for Bella and me. I thought we had that. Fuck that…we _did_ have it!

I fucking ruined it…and now I had to fix it.

_You do an amazing job of trying to fix things with your demands and your selfish tendencies._

But I felt too numb to fix anything at the moment.

As I made my way around the room, always with a drink in my hand, every single person continued to tell me how sorry they were to hear about Charlie being shot. They were thankful that he was all right but were sad that Bella was not here.

I was pleased when the love song was finally fucking over and something more upbeat started playing.

When Mom finally approached me, I had just about heard all that I could.

She hugged me and started her tirade, "Edward, it's wonderful to see you…but why have you been avoiding my calls, sweetie? Imagine my surprise when Bella told me about Charlie being shot! Why didn't you call us? Why didn't you go with her? I don't understand, Edward. She gave me some excuse but I'm just not buying it. What is going on?"

She looked completely frustrated and I could not say that I blamed her.

"Mom, this is not the time or place," I slurred as my father approached us.

"Son, I think you've had too much to drink," he said as he took the current drink from my hand.

"Really, Dad? Drinking is all that I have! It's the only way to not fucking _feel_ anything!" I yelled in frustration.

The music immediately stopped and all eyes were on us. Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper were surrounding us where we stood.

"Edward!" My mother gasped. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah…what is going on with you, Edward?" Emmett asked in confusion. Then he took in the expressions on the faces of Jasper, Alice and Rose. "Actually, I'd like to know what's going on with _all_ of you? You've all been acting fucking weird and it's time for some answers!"

I looked directly at my mother and between the alcohol and my frustration; I could not hold it in any longer. They were all going to find out soon enough anyway and there was no time like the present.

"Want to know the _real_ reason why your precious Bella is not here, Mother? I'll tell you why…it's because your _perfect_ son…has been fucking Lauren Mallory from the hospital and I got caught. Bella is divorcing me…oh and did I mention that Lauren is fucking pregnant with my child?"

Gasps were heard from around the room along with quiet whispers. Tears streamed down my mother's face.

One more woman I had made cry.

Fucking great.

_Did you expect her to be proud of you for what you've done?_

It did not escape my attention that my father did not looked shocked at all. Why not?

Emmett looked as if he were ready to pound me into next week. I hoped that he did.

Through her tears, I noticed my mom was glaring at my dad. She laughed sarcastically as she said, "Well…I guess what they say is true then…like father like son…"

Dad cut her off, "Esie, this is not the place for this…please _don't_ do this…"

Alice's voice stopped him, "Daddy, what is she talking about?"

My father started pinching the bridge of his nose and did not answer.

"What is going on, Dad?" Emmett asked. He was trying to keep control of his emotions but everyone could tell that his control was slipping quickly as his fists started clenching and unclenching at his sides.

"Don't like that saying, _Carlisle_? How about this one…the apple doesn't fall far from the tree!" My mother yelled.

"Dad, _explain_!" I roared. What was going on with these two? There was no way she could be saying what I thought she was.

No.

Not my dad.

"Mom, what are you talking about? What is the goddamn secret that you two obviously don't want us to know? Why would you say Edward is like dad the way that you did? We deserve to know! Would one of you fucking say something?" Emmett screeched.

"Watch your mouth!" Mom glared at him. She didn't answer his questions at first. All she did was turn to me and say, "Let me guess…you felt that Bella was neglecting you because all she could think about was having a baby, right? Am I getting warm, son? You were not getting the proper attention that you so desperately needed…is that right? I've heard it before…from your fucking father!" My mother seethed.

She never swore…ever. This was not good.

My father stood there and I could have sworn I saw him wiping away some tears. "Esme, please don't do this…not now…not like this. I'm _begging_ you."

Carlisle Cullen was a strong man…and I had never seen him look more defeated or fragile in my entire life.

Mom's eyes landed on our father and they were as cold as ice. "It's time the truth came out Carlisle! Look at what we've done to our children! This is our entire fault! We treated Edward as if he could never do anything wrong…and _why_? Because of our guilt!

"It hasn't done him any good! We both made mistakes…some bigger than others and all of our children have suffered for it! Emmett and Alice feel as if we don't love them like we love Edward! Edward thinks he can go around cheating and doing whatever he wants just because he's Edward. _**WE**_ did that!" She screamed at him.

"Esie…"

"Don't! This ends now!" Mom put her hand up stopping him from speaking and turned back to her children. There were still tears in her eyes but she had them more under control for now.

"I know the bullshit that you spewed to Bella, because your father used the same words on me when…when he cheated on me with a girl in his study group while he was in medical school."

Mom had to stop for a moment because her tears were back and turning into sobs quickly. Obviously, this was difficult for her to talk about and she was doing this in front of pretty much everyone that they knew.

I could not believe what I was hearing.

Dad had _cheated_ on Mom?

But…they had been married for thirty years!

That meant she must have forgiven him at some point.

There was hope for Bella and me, I knew it.

A fist to my face broke my train of thought. My brother had punched me before so I knew it was his fist that I felt. I stumbled back and caught myself enough to see Emmett then stomping towards our father.

"You _both_ make me sick! How could you _cheat_ on your wives? The only reason why I'm not punching your ass too is because you are my father and I have respect for _that_…but I don't respect you very much as a person right now!"

"Everyone out! The party is _over_," Rose yelled as she shooed everyone but us out the door.

Jasper helped me tend to my bleeding nose while Alice consoled our mother. Rose came back in the room and went to Emmett. He wrapped her tightly in his arms while our father paced in front of us.

"It's not my fault he did this, Esme! It's not like cheating is _genetic_! Jesus! Why did you pick tonight of all nights to share this with everyone? I thought we were passed this a long time ago! We've been married for thirty goddamn years!"

Mom sniffled, "I'm sorry that I did it this way. I was hurt by what Edward said and I am just so furious with the _both_ of you. We _did_ get passed it, Carlisle, but it is not something I am likely to ever _forget_. You knew this when we got back together!"

Alice looked at our parents and said, "Wait…you guys said that the way Edward behaves is your fault. Are you going to tell us what the hell you are talking about? I think after all this time…we deserve to know why our brother thinks it's okay to go around acting like a selfish prick."

Our mother had composed herself a little more and was sitting on the couch with Alice by her side holding her hand.

"Ali, I just want you and Emmett to know…that we have never loved you and Emmett any less than we love Edward. Please tell me that you believe that. We love you all so much."

Dad started to sit on the opposite of Mom on the couch but Emmett put his hand up to stop him. "Don't you go near her!" He then quickly sat beside mom instead.

Emmett took the hand that Alice was not holding into this. "Mom, we know you love us all the same. Deep down we do…Ali and I…we just don't understand why Edward has always gotten everything he wanted. His needs or wants have always come first and I guess we just don't get it.

"You guys have always acted like he walked on water and could do nothing wrong. It seems as if our entire family life has revolved around whatever would be good for him. Care to tell us what that is all about? The way you acted…I'm assuming it has something to do with Dad's…indiscretion…please tell us," Emmett pleaded with them both.

Mom stood up and went over to the mantle to look at all of our family pictures as she spoke. "Your father and I got married at eighteen as you both know. He graduated from high school early, at seventeen and had the promise of being one of the finest surgeons there ever was. As you know, the Cullens have a long line of doctors and surgeons in their family and they come from old money.

"Everyone told us we were getting in over our heads for getting married at such an early age…but we were in love and wouldn't hear any of it. We were young and naïve and decided early on in our marriage that we wanted nothing more than to have a baby.

"Emmett, you were very difficult for us to get here. No matter how hard we tried, I couldn't get pregnant. We had some moments when we first started trying where your father tried to make me feel guilty for being so focused on getting pregnant. He would tell me that he felt I was using him as a 'baby making machine' and that our lovemaking had turned cold and robotic because of it. Your father never strayed at that time and once we found out we were pregnant with you, his words as well as our fights were long forgotten."

Dad had said that to Mom? Those were the exact same feelings I had with Bella.

Mom stopped for a minute as she focused on Emmett's baby picture.

"It was the happiest news I had ever heard when I came home from school and your mother told me she was pregnant with you," Dad added while looking towards Emmett.

Mom smiled and nodded at him as she continued her story, "We were twenty-one when you were born and you brought us great joy. Alice and Edward came to us easier. They were a surprise we didn't know if we were ready for. My pregnancy that time was quite difficult and I was put on bed rest for the final three months.

"Your father was now in medical school at this time. We were twenty-three with a two-year old at home and soon to have two more infants added into the mix. To say we were overwhelmed would be an understatement. Obviously because of the bed rest, we were unable to have any…intimacy…those last few months," Mom stopped.

Dad took this as his cue and he started talking, "I was taking more classes than I should but there was a lot of pressure on me because of the Cullen name. I had to make our family proud and medical school was more difficult than anything I could ever imagine. Your mother went into labor six weeks early and I have never been more scared in my life. Alice, you spent two weeks in the NICU while, Edward, you were in there for three.

"You were having issues with your lungs and they would not let you leave until you were strong enough. Alice, there were never any issues with you as a preemie…once you came home…you just excelled. Unfortunately, Edward was not as lucky. It was one thing after another with you son. You were colicky, you were sick all the time. We were fighting all the time out of frustration with everything. We were up with you at all hours of the night and your mom spent a lot of time at the doctor's office with you. But at five and a half months…that was when it really fell apart. That was when we almost lost you."

Dad stopped because he was getting choked up so Mom took over again.

"That was the scariest night of my life. Your father was at a study group session…or so I _thought_. I was at home with all of you. Edward, you and Alice were just starting on solids. I had already gone through the vegetables with you and that night I started you on bananas with your evening bottle of formula for your dinner.

"Edward, you had a horrible allergic reaction to the bananas. I don't want to go into details because it was just awful but your throat closed up…I had to call the ambulance. As you know, there were no cell phones back then. I tried calling your father at the number he gave me for the person's house he was supposed to be at…but there was no answer. When the ambulance came and took you away to the hospital, I could not go with you because I had no one to be with Emmett and Alice.

"I made my way to the hospital as fast as I could with an infant and a toddler. You were taken directly to the NICU and I could not go back there as much as I wanted because I had Emmett and Alice. I left a note at the house for your father so he would know where we were. But he never showed up until the next morning.

"I spent that entire night trying to comfort your brother and sister while trying to be in with you as much as I could. The only times I could actually go in to you were when a nurse or a candy striper would sit with Em and Ali for a bit.

"First thing the next morning, your father showed up frantic. As soon as I took in his appearance, I knew exactly what he had been up to while I was going through the worst night of my life. It wasn't hard to guess…his clothes were disheveled…he had lipstick on his collar and…he smelled like _sex_. Not to mention the fact that he looked guilty as hell."

Alice was crying and I noticed that Rose had sat down beside her and was holding her as Emmett wrapped his arms around them both. He looked as if he was going to forget about Carlisle being our father and punch him anyway.

Dad took a deep breath and continued from mom left off, "This is not an excuse by any means…but I _did_ feel neglected. Edward, you received most of your mom's attention and we still had not been intimate with one another since she had been put on bed rest before you were born. The energy she had left after tending to you was spent on caring for Emmett and Alice.

"I helped as much as I could but between working and going to school…it was harder than I thought it would be. My parents did not approve of your mom. She was the poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks. I was handed nothing…and I had to work my ass off for everything.

"There was a girl in my study group who had been coming on to me since I met her. I never meant for things to progress towards that one night…at first it was just silly flirtations. But, she made me feel things I hadn't felt in a long time. She made me feel _wanted_…_desired_. She allowed me to be taken away from my reality where I had a screaming baby to come home to every single day and a wife who would not touch me."

I thought it was awful that my father could do that to my mother…but the bad part was…that I could somewhat understand where he was coming from.

My emotions were currently all over the place and I did not know what to think about anything anymore.

I tried to focus once again on my father's words.

"That night, I finally gave into temptation and it was the biggest mistake of my life. The doctors told us you were going to be okay but the incident left its mark on us. Your mother and I separated for a while. We started counseling and after a year, I was able to move back into the house with you guys."

While Dad stopped talking again to collect himself and wipe his tears, Mom started talking again.

"The guilt from that night…from both of us…ate us up inside. We were able to work on our issues between the two of us, but we never could let go of the feelings we had regarding you, Edward.

"We had let you down when you needed us the most. I had to choose Alice and Emmett over you because they were too small to be on their own," she said.

"And I…wasn't there when you needed me the most. You could have died that night son…and I would have died right along with you…because I would never recover from not being there because I was…I was…oh God…" Dad could not finish as he crumbled to the floor in pain.

I had never seen my father like this. No one else offered him any comfort so I did. I went to him on the floor and held him while he cried.

Couldn't they see he was hurting? He regretted what he did! He made a mistake…because no one was perfect…even though they always treated me as I was.

My mom's soft voice started again after many moments of silence. Dad and I picked ourselves up off the floor as she spoke.

"After that, we decided that we would treat you as if you were the most precious thing to us…and that's what we did. We spoiled you, we indulged you way more than we should have. I'm sorry, Edward. We let you down when you were a baby and we just kept doing it.

"I look at you now…at the man you've become and I don't even know who you are. It breaks my heart that you did this to Bella. My heart truly hurts for you both. Your father and I got passed our issues because we realized we both had made mistakes and we were able to get everything out with a therapist. But it took a lot of time and effort…and even now…after thirty years…it is still an issue between us.

"I love your father…we have three beautiful children together. We have made a life for ourselves…he is truly my soul mate. I will never regret my decision to take him back…but he constantly showed me he was sorry and atoned for his sins."

Dad nodded agreeing with what she said as she silently cried.

He tried to walk towards mom to comfort her but she put her hands up to stop him. "_Wait_…you were not surprised by Edward's news…why is that?"

"Yeah, Dad…I noticed that too. Why weren't you surprised?" I wanted to know as well.

"Well…I just…heard the rumors at the hospital and figured that they were true," he said as he ran his hands through his hair. He also did not look any of us in the eye.

He thought they were true…even after he defended me? His story did not add up…at all.

He was _lying_.

Thankfully, Mom had been with him long enough to feel that he was lying too and call him out on his crap.

"Carlisle Thomas Cullen…you are _lying_ through your perfect teeth right now! I want the truth from you and I want it _now_!" Mom yelled at him.

"Fine! Charlie called me yesterday…pleading with me to come to Forks to check out Bella."

My head was pounding from all the alcohol that I had consumed. I braced myself against the wall because I could barely stand from my drunken state and I was scared for the answer to my next question.

"Why? Why did he need you to come see Bella? Is she all right?" I begged him to tell me.

"She's _fine_…that's all I can tell you for now."

"Carlisle! This is nonsense! You will tell us right now!" Mom screamed.

"I can't, Esie, I'm sorry."

"Dad, _please_?"

"Daddy, if something is wrong you have to tell us! We all love Bella!" Alice yelled at him.

Soon, all of our voices were raised begging him to tell us what was wrong with our Bella.

He finally screamed over all of us, "_**BELLA IS PREGNANT**_!"

Well that statement sobered me right up! At a time when I should have felt nothing but absolute joy…all I could feel was this all-consuming _anger_.

She had fucking _lied _and that did not sit well with me.

_**A/N…So…some of you guessed the Carlisle thing…some of you had not. **_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser from Chapter 15, which will be from BPOV…,and we will get to find out just what happened when Carlisle went to Forks and how that came about in the first place.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for being amazing! Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading. I love to hear the thoughts of both these lovely ladies and they help me out immensely!**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**Moving Pictures by breakfastatbella's**_

_**LOVING this story!**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5925609/2/Moving_Pictures**_


	16. Confirmation

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

**__****A/N...SURPRISE!**

Chapter 15

BPOV

_**Monday September 22, 2008: Age 25**_

"_Oh my God, Edward…what are we going to do?" I cried in his arms._

"_Everything will be fine, Bella. If our parents don't stick by us…I'll quit school…get a job. We will figure it out. I swear to you…I will be a good father and I'll take care of you and our baby."_

_I was a week late. We had only been having sex for the last two months. I was on the pill…but I realized that I missed a couple of pills and now we were sitting in Edward's bathroom on the floor awaiting the results of a home pregnancy test._

_I had been on the pill for a while now so I was praying that the test was negative and I had not screwed the pills up enough for me to actually be pregnant._

_We were only sixteen…we were nowhere near ready for a baby._

"_What if I'm not a good mom?" I whispered. That was my biggest fear. Both of us had amazing mothers and they were big shoes to fill._

"_Baby, you will be an awesome mother. Do you know how I know that?"_

_I shook my head no._

"_I know that because you are the most beautiful, selfless, giving person that I know. Any child will be lucky to call you, 'mom'."_

_Edward always appeared cocky on the outside but it was times like these…when he said things like that…that I knew what a good person he was. _

_I looked at the time on my cell phone and knew we had to face the results._

"_I guess we should look now," I said._

_I started to get up from the floor but he pulled me onto his lap and kissed me with everything in him. _

_Our lips molded together and I almost forgot that this was what got us into trouble in the first place._

_We pulled away both gasping for air after the intensity of our kisses. "Hey, I just want you to know…you're it for me, sweetheart. I don't care that we're only sixteen…I love you more than my own life. If we're pregnant, we face this together. You and me against the world, do you hear me?"_

_I nodded with tears in my eyes._

_I loved this boy immensely and I could never see myself with anyone but him._

_We both took a deep breath and with joined hands, we checked the results of the pregnancy test._

_It said negative._

_A sigh of relief came from both of us._

"_One day when we're ready…we will have as many kids as you want, Bella."_

"_Okay, sounds good to me," I said with a smile._

"_Love you," he said as he pressed his lips to mine._

"_Love you," I repeated when we finally parted._

_That was a crisis averted and while our scare did not slow down our teen sexual escapades at all…I was more diligent about taking my pills from that point on._

I was remembering the dream that woke me up in a cold sweat this morning as I drove. We were stopped at a light and the car honking behind me signaling that the light had in fact turned green broke me from my thoughts.

Charlie and I were currently heading to my very first doctor's appointment. We were riding in his truck because the Porsche was too small for him to stretch out comfortably with his cast and there was no room for his crutches.

It was interesting watching my father get into this thing. Luckily, he had put the running boards on the sides of the truck a long time ago because I was so short. They helped a lot since I was a pregnant woman trying to stuff an injured man into the cab of the truck.

I was going to have to trade the Porsche in for something else…if Carlisle was right. I prayed that he was. If I was _still_ pregnant after Saturday, I would need something to drive that was a little more baby-friendly. My mind drifted to the events that happened Saturday as we headed to Port Angeles.

_**Flashback to Saturday**_

_**As I had resolved to do, first thing Saturday morning, while eating breakfast, I told Charlie that I was pregnant.**_

_**His shoulders slumped and his face showed nothing but kindness.**_

"_**Bells…are you going to keep it?"**_

_**I glared at my father. "Of course, Dad! How could you even ask that?"**_

"_**I'm sorry, sweetheart. I just didn't know…with everything that is happening with Edward…if you would want to do this. It's hard to bring a baby up in a family of divorce."**_

"_**Yes, I know that Dad…but just because Edward and I are divorcing…that is not a reason to get rid of my baby!"**_

_**He put his hands up in surrender. "All right, Bells. Calm down. I'm glad you feel that way. SO…I'm going to be a grandpa," he said with a smile.**_

"_**Yes, it would appear so. I'm afraid to get my hopes up this time…but I can just feel it. I've had symptoms and normally I take more than one test but I just know that it's true this time, Daddy."**_

"_**That's great honey and we'll figure this out."**_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**I guess you should call Edward and get his sorry ass back here."**_

"_**Wait…why would I do that?"**_

"_**He is this baby's father Bells, no matter what, he deserves to know."**_

"_**No! He does not deserve to know! He broke my heart…how can you even take his side?" I cried.**_

"_**I'm not taking his side, honey. As a father, I am telling you, he deserves to know. I know that he is a selfish, lying son of a bitch…but he should still know that he is going to be a father. He needs to take responsibility for this baby!"**_

_**I stood from the table to start clearing dishes away and tossing them into the sink. "It doesn't matter that he's the father, Dad. He has not wanted this the way that I have. He just doesn't…he will not find out…do you hear me? I don't want him around and I don't want him to know!"**_

_**I was in front of the sink as I said those last words and pain ripped through my abdomen. It was horrible cramping that was much worse than menstrual cramps. I clutched the side of the sink and cried out in anguish.**_

"_**Ow!"**_

_**I could hear my father gathering his crutches and hobbling over to me. "Bells, are you all right?"**_

"_**I don't know." **_

_**The pain was quick and had gone away. "I'll be back," I told him as I made my way to the downstairs bathroom.**_

_**I had to use the restroom and when I did, I noticed a little blood on my underwear.**_

"_**No, no, no, no!" I yelled to no one in particular.**_

_**This could not be happening. I had been so close!**_

_**I was inconsolable as I let the sobs consume my body. When I came out of the bathroom, Dad was seated on the couch begging me to sit down with him and tell me what was going on.**_

_**I told him and he insisted on calling Carlisle. **_

_**I explained to him that would not help me because it would take him at least two and a half hours to get here even if he drove like a crazy person as he normally did…just like his son.**_

_**Charlie was not hearing anything I said and before I could stop him, his shaky voice was on the phone calling Carlisle and begging him to come to Forks to check me out.**_

_**I did not have any cramps or see any more blood during the time it took Carlisle to arrive. I felt that I was fine and as long as I saw a doctor Monday, I thought I would be okay.**_

_**Charlie was insistent on me still seeing Carlisle. He said that Carlisle was the best and I knew that. When I thought that, it made me realize he was the only one I trusted to tell me that the cramping and spotting were normal. Dad had told me while we waited that he thought it might be normal because he remembered something like this happening when Mom was pregnant with me. **_

_**Oddly enough, Carlisle showed up two hours later. Apparently, he drove faster than his children.**_

_**Carlisle looked confused as he sat on the coffee table in front of Charlie and me.**_

"_**What am I doing here? Charlie, you said something is wrong with Bella. Care to elaborate?" He asked with a soft smile.**_

"_**So…I guess there are some things I need to tell you," I started.**_

"_**Sweetie, you know you can tell me anything. Charlie, you sounded frantic on the phone. What is going on?"**_

_**It was right then, that I had another cramp. This one was not as painful as the last but it really scared me.**_

_**Without thinking, I blurted out the only thing on my mind at that time. **_

"_**Please, Carlisle…you have to do something! Please don't let my baby die! Tell me it's going to be okay…I have to still be pregnant!" I shouted.**_

_**Shock crossed Carlisle's face.**_

"_**You're…pregnant? Bella, that's wonderful! Why hasn't Edward told me?"**_

_**I could not answer him while I was in pain. He asked me some standard questions and I told him about the small amount of blood. He told me this was normal.**_

_**He asked me when my last period was and as I thought back…I realized this month's was the first period that was late.**_

_**He explained to me that early on in pregnancy, a woman can still have a period or two and she can also experience cramping like I was experiencing. He assured me that normally, there was nothing at all wrong with the mother or the baby.**_

_**He made a few phone calls and told me I was to see an obstetrician friend of his in Port Angeles first thing Monday morning. He said Dr. Maximos was amazing and he came highly recommended by other doctors besides him.**_

_**After that was all taken care of and I was feeling better, he insisted on knowing again, why Edward had not told him when he had recently asked him about me being pregnant.**_

"_**Edward and I are…separated, Carlisle. He had an affair with Lauren Mallory. She's carrying his baby. Actually, I'm divorcing Edward. He was here yesterday and he's the one who made me take the test.**_

"_**I told him it was negative. I am still going forward with the divorce and I would appreciate it if you would keep this to yourself. Edward is the last person I want to know about this."**_

_**Many emotions were flitting across Carlisle's face…anger…disappointment…sorrow…guilt? That was one I did not expect to see. Why would he feel guilty over something that his son did? He had no control over Edward's actions.**_

"_**Bella, sweetheart, I'm sorry that my son has hurt you. But, Bella, surely you realize…that Edward is this baby's father. He has every right to know about it. I don't understand how you can ask me not to tell my son this news. I don't think I can keep this from him."**_

"_**I have to agree with Carlisle on this, Bells. I've already told you how I feel. Edward may be a lying asshole, sorry Carlisle, but he still deserves to know that he is going to be a father."**_

_**My only option was to appease them since they were both ganging up on me.**_

"_**Fine! I will tell him…but only on my terms and I would appreciate it if the two of you would respect that!"**_

_**They nodded. Carlisle said he needed to go because there were still many things he needed to do to help Esme get ready for their anniversary party tomorrow.**_

_**There was something I had to ask him first.**_

"_**Carlisle, on my birthday, I had no idea that I could have been pregnant. I had two of Rose's margaritas…is that going to hurt the baby?"**_

_**He smiled at me. "It should be fine, Bella. This happens more often than you think. Many times, women have a drink or two early on in pregnancy because they do not know yet that they are pregnant. Just don't drink anything else now that you know," he said.**_

"_**Of course not! I would never do that."**_

_**He hugged me and told us goodbye. **_

_**I prayed that he was going to keep my secret…but I knew the chances of that were slim. Edward was close to his father and saw him every day. Deep in my gut, I knew it would not be long before Edward knew about our baby…and I knew I would need to prepare myself for the worst because he was not going to be happy that I lied to him. **_

_**End Flashback**_

We had finally arrived and I was more anxious to see the doctor than I had realized. I was dying to find out about my baby.

The doctor's office was welcoming. Everything was clean and in its place…nothing out of the ordinary.

The waiting area was quite cramped and small but felt homey. There was a scrapbook on the coffee table that was sitting in the center of the room.

Inside of it, there were pictures of the doctor with all of the babies that he had delivered. He had a kind face and that made me relax.

The pictures of all the smiling families made my heart hurt because my baby would not have that.

Charlie told me he was going to be in the waiting room since we were unsure of what the doctor would be doing today. We did not want to take a chance of Charlie having to see something he should never see.

But I assured him if something important happened like seeing the baby or hearing the heartbeat, I would have them come and get him.

The nurse finally called me back and asked all of the standard first visit questions, took all of my vitals and then told me the doctor would be in to see me shortly after I peed in the cup that she gave me.

About twenty-five minutes later, Dr. Maximos came into the room and introduced himself. He informed me that I was in fact pregnant.

He did the initial ultrasound there in the office and he said I was roughly eight weeks along. I did have my period then at the beginning of the pregnancy. He told me the same thing about the cramping and the spotting that Carlisle had said.

I was relieved…and positively giddy.

I was _finally_ pregnant. My hands would not stay away from my stomach…it was as if I had no control over them.

I heard a loud beating sound that was pretty fast. A serene calm washed over me and I knew exactly what it was.

"Is…is that my baby's heartbeat, Dr. Maximos?" I asked for confirmation.

"Yes, it is," he smiled. "Is there someone you would like to share this with in the waiting room?"

"My dad," I responded.

He told the nurse to go bring my father into the room. Dad came in and looked almost frantic, "Is everything okay? Are you pregnant? Is the baby all right?" He asked quickly.

"Everything is great," Dr. Maximos assured him. "Your daughter is in fact pregnant and everything looks wonderful."

I saw Charlie let out a breath he had been holding.

He paused and listened to the beautiful sound that was filling the small room.

"Is that…what I think it is?" Charlie asked in a whisper.

I nodded with tears in my eyes while Dr. Maximos answered him with words. "Yes sir, that is the sound of your grandchild's heartbeat."

Dad hobbled over to me on his crutches and took my hand in his. "That's a beautiful sound, Bells."

"I know, isn't it?" I laughed through my tears. When I looked up at Charlie…I could see the tears pooling in his eyes.

I was glad he was here for this moment.

"Now, because you have had such a hard time getting pregnant, Mrs. Cullen, I want to monitor you closely throughout this pregnancy. Also, I want you to avoid as much stress as possible…it's not good for you or your baby."

I briefly explained to him that I was going through a divorce and would like it put on my chart that they should call me Ms. Swan. I knew for insurance purposes that I needed Cullen to be on the papers but I wanted to be called by Swan.

I wondered how that would work…I had no job and no money. What was I going to do about insurance if I divorced Edward? He would have to pay the bills…that was all there was to it. Surely, some sort of clause or something saying that could be added to the divorce papers.

I would need to talk to Victoria about that immediately.

After I checked out at the front desk, I turned to my dad and told him we were headed to McDonald's. I was craving French fries and a milkshake.

What my baby wanted…my baby was going to get.

I pulled into the closest golden arches I could find and ordered our food.

When I made my way up to the window and received the total Dad said, "Sorry Bells, I left my wallet at home since I wasn't driving."

"No problem, Dad," I said as I started digging around in my purse for cash.

Shit…I did not have any.

I pulled out my debit card and handed it to the cashier.

"I'm sorry ma'am, your card was declined. Do you have another one?" She asked me politely.

That was odd. I dug through my purse and pulled out another card.

When I handed it to her, it did not take long until she was handing it back telling me that one was declined as well.

What the fuck was going on?

I was fuming and no longer in the mood to eat as I pulled away from the drive thru and headed to the bank.

When I got there, I was informed that our accounts had been frozen and all of my cards had been canceled.

No…he…fucking…didn't!

How could he do that?

He seriously cut me off!

My father could tell I was pissed as I walked back outside of the bank. He was leaning up against the truck.

"Well?" He asked.

"Edward cut me off! He froze the accounts and _canceled_ my cards! How could he do that, Dad?"

"That sorry asshole! I am going to rip him a new one!" My dad seethed.

I was pacing in front of him mumbling about Edward when my father said, "Get in the truck. Take me to Riley's office! This can't be something that bastard can do to you! He will fix it! Let's go Bella!"

We got back into the truck and headed to the law office of Bennett, Mitchell and Cooper.

Game on Edward…Riley and Victoria would make sure he was sorry for this!

_**A/N…I want to address something quickly. Many of you have had many issues about Carlisle blurting out Bella's news the way he did. Bella is NOT Carlisle's patient…therefore; he did not break any rules. He was a father-in-law going to check on his daughter-in-law in a non-official capacity. It was a family matter. Bella will not be suing him for violating her privacy or anything like that.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing this for me…more than once…and being a great friend! Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading this…more than once…and being awesome! **_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 16 from EPOV…and we will see what the hell he was thinking cutting B off like that.**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Chasm__** by **__RaeCullen_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5974763/2/Chasm**_

_**If you're not reading this story…then you should be…it's wonderful. **_


	17. How Much Worse Could Things Get?

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

Chapter 16

EPOV

_**Monday September 22, 2008: Age 25**_

To say that I was…_livid_…when my father made his big announcement yesterday…would have been an understatement.

_She was planning to keep my child from me…_

_She lied to me…_

_To my fucking face…_

_She would regret this…_

Many things were revealed at that anniversary party last night but nothing rocked me to my core as much as finding out that my loving wife was _pregnant_ with my child…and had fucking lied to me about it.

I could not even enjoy the fact that the one thing we had both wanted for so long…was finally happening…because she _lied_ to me about it.

_She would not have lied if you were not a cheating, lying bastard yourself._

I ignored my inner voice.

My thoughts drifted back to my father's big reveal at their anniversary party as I drove to Mr. Jenks' office.

_**Flashback**_

_**I could not breathe when I heard the words that escaped my father's lips.**_

"_**Bella's what?" My sister screeched.**_

"_**She fucking lied to me!" I yelled.**_

"_**Edward! I am tired of you using that language! You need to calm down right now!"**_

"_**Really, Mom? You want to yell at me about my language? Well here's some bad language for you…I just fucking found out that my wife fucking lied to me on Friday about something we have wanted for a very long time!**_

"_**She fucking lied…to my face…and told me that her pregnancy test was negative! How would that make you feel, Mom? I think I am entitled to some fucking swearing!"**_

_**My mother simply cried at my outburst. Rosalie, however, decided to get in my face.**_

_**She pushed my chest with her pointy finger. "Are you really surprised that she didn't tell you the truth you asshat? You've been lying to her for months about your indiscretions with the naughty nurse!**_

"_**Besides the fact that Bella has told your sister and me on many occasions that you told her you were not sure you even wanted a baby anymore. She is doing what she always does…trying to do the right thing…this time for her baby! I wouldn't tell you either…would you like to know why?"**_

_**I nodded. I was not sure why I wanted to know but I did.**_

"_**Because…you are already having a child with someone else, you are a two-timing loser who will only hurt her and you don't deserve to be a father to anyone's child…let alone Bella's. No…you should just let her raise the baby all on her own so he or she does not get touched by your stupidity."**_

"_**Rose!" Jasper yelled at his sister.**_

"_**What? It's the truth! He destroyed her! Broke their marriage vows! He needs to hurt like she does!"**_

_**Jasper was comforting his sister while Emmett was comforting ours. Then they switched and tended to their wives. **_

"_**How do you know this, Dad? What happened? Are she and the baby all right? Why are you telling me like this? Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"**_

_**He put his hands up to stop me. He pinched the bridge of his nose again. "One question at a time son, please."**_

"_**Well you can answer any day now Carlisle, I am curious myself," my mother said while tapping her foot with impatience.**_

_**Dad sighed and began, "I received a frantic call from Charlie yesterday. He said it was an emergency and that I needed to come to Forks to see Bella immediately. When I got there, Bella was cramping and had some light bleeding…"**_

"_**Please tell me she didn't lose the baby! Dad I won't be able to stand it. She must have been so terrified. I should have been there," I said in a panic.**_

"_**She and the baby are fine, Edward. I'm sure of it. I explained to her that this happens during the early stages of pregnancy for many women who go on to have perfectly healthy babies. I set her up with a doctor that comes highly recommended. She is going to see him tomorrow."**_

_**I breathed a sigh of relief and then my emotions went back to anger.**_

"_**I need to be at that appointment, Dad. Which doctor is she seeing and what time is it?"**_

"_**I've already said more than I should have. I have already betrayed Bella's trust because I told her I would not say anything to you yet…but this was something I couldn't keep quiet."**_

"_**Dad, please! I need to be there with her!"**_

_**Emmett was in my face again. "What are you going to do when you get there, Edward? Yell at her? Berate her some more? Will you even show up fucking sober? Don't tell him, Carlisle."**_

_**Our father looked as if Emmett had punched him the gut when he called him by his first name.**_

_**I pulled at my hair, "I still can't believe she lied to me…about this of all things! What else has she lied to me about?"**_

"_**Listen, son, she did assure Charlie and me that she was going to tell you…on her terms…but nonetheless, she was going to tell you."**_

"_**What the fuck is that supposed to mean? On her terms?"**_

_**Alice glared at me, "It means…she was planning on telling you when she was ready, asshole! Maybe if you weren't so wrapped up in acting like a dick all the time or thinking only of yourself, she would have told you right away!"**_

_**Mom started looking weary.**_

"_**I think everyone should go home. I would just like to be alone now. Carlisle, I would really appreciate it if you stayed with one of our children or in a hotel tonight."**_

"_**Esie? You don't mean that! Thirty years honey, thirty years! We have already hashed out our problems…a long time ago sweetheart. Please don't do this," He pleaded.**_

_**She shook her head. "I'm not asking for a divorce Carlisle, I just need to be alone tonight. It was one thing to go through what we went through twenty-five years ago…but now…to know that my son has done something just like it and even worse…it breaks my heart in two and I don't want to be around anyone right now."**_

_**Where the hell did she get off saying what I did was worse than my father?**_

"_**How is what I did worse than Dad? From where I stand, it's the exact same fucking thing, Mom!"**_

_**Now it was her turn to glare at me and her eyes were fiery just as my sister's had been a minute ago. "How can you think that it's not? Your father had a one-night stand with a girl in his study group. He did not carry on an affair for three months…and he was smart enough not to get her pregnant!"**_

"_**Oh sure…Dad's just fucking perfect. He was off fucking that whore while I was lying in the NICU dying…wow he should get father of the year! Then you both go around pretending that we are the 'perfect Cullens' for everyone…and keep things from us for years…it's no wonder I'm so fucked up…you two are the best parents ever!" I said sarcastically. **_

_**My mother slapped me across the face…hard. She gasped and clasped her hand over her mouth. "Edward…I'm sorry…I didn't mean that…" she started after she removed her hand from her mouth.**_

_**I didn't care that she hit me. I deserved it and her actions did not stop my rant.**_

"_**For the last fucking time…I MADE A GODDAMN MISTAKE! I'M NOT FUCKING PERFECT! And apparently neither are any of you! If the great Carlisle Cullen can't be perfect then why does everyone expect me to be?" I roared at them all.**_

_**No one said anything.**_

"_**You know what, forget it, I'm leaving. All of you can sit here and have your Edward bashing party because I'm going now!"**_

_**After I said my peace, I stormed out of the house and did not look back.**_

_**I headed to the closest bar and drank my sorrows away. Maybe I would get lucky and poison myself with alcohol…everyone would be better off without me around.**_

_**Great…if my parents heard my thoughts they would have me on suicide watch.**_

_**I felt completely lost and did not know how to get back to myself.**_

_**Everything used to be so simple…Bella and I had our love and that was all we needed.**_

_**Why wasn't love always enough?**_

_**I really did not remember anything after the bar.**_

_**I woke up this morning with Lauren snuggled into my side. **_

"_**What the fuck?" I screamed at her.**_

_**She explained that I drunk dialed her from the bar to tell her how sorry I was that I ever slept with her, how she had ruined my life, and just how much I hated her. She got me to tell her where I was and she came to get me. **_

_**After she got me back to the house, she said I tried to have sex with her but I could not get my cock up but she understood because I was drunk.**_

_**Yeah…that was the reason…keep telling yourself that.**_

_**Thank God, I did not sleep with her…again.**_

_**It would have made things so much worse than they already were.**_

_**What the fuck was I thinking?**_

_**I was still in my clothes…all of them…so I seriously doubted that she was telling the truth about me trying to fuck her. Why did I have to call her and bitch her out at that moment? I did not want her here. **_

_**How did I ever get a hard on around her before? Oh yeah, I imagined being with Bella when things were still great between us.**_

_**I needed to find my way back to that place…when everything was perfect with my wife.**_

_**Then I remembered how angry I was with her. If she could be that callous and cold to lie about my own child…I was not sure I wanted to be with her anyway.**_

_**Perhaps, I did myself a favor by fucking Lauren and being caught.**_

_**Bella was not the woman I thought she was.**_

_**It was then that I decided I was going through with my plan for cutting her off…she would regret lying to me and treating me this way.**_

_**I told Lauren to get out because I had things to do. She informed me that she drove me home in my car so she did not have any transportation. Since I did not want to be around her any longer than I had to, I called her a cab.**_

_**End Flashback**_

While I continued to drive, I remembered one of the worst fights that Bella and I ever had. It was definitely not _the_ worst…but it was pretty bad.

_**Flashback**_

_**It was not too long after the false positive and Bella had been really down about it. She never asked me how I felt about it…she never once cared that finding out it was not true had hurt me just as it did her.**_

_**I sent her a dozen lilies because they were her favorite with a card telling her how sorry I was that this happened but I still loved her and we would get through this.**_

_**When I came home, I saw the broken vase with the remains of the lilies in a pile by the front door. **_

"_**What the hell Bella?" I asked as I noticed her sitting on the couch.**_

"_**I don't need your pity flowers, Edward!" **_

"_**They weren't out of pity. I wanted to do something nice for you to brighten your day…because I know you're hurting. I'm hurting too…if you would just open up to me…and talk to me…we could help each other through this…together. Bella and Edward against the world…remember?"**_

_**I desperately needed my wife. I was hurting so fucking badly and I knew she was too…I just wanted us to share this…to talk to each other.**_

_**She stood from the couch and stalked towards me.**_

"_**You are hurting? You, you, you! That's all I fucking hear!"**_

_**What? I had barely expressed to her how much I was hurting…I was waiting for her to fucking ask me how I felt about everything.**_

_**She never did!**_

"_**Sweetheart, I'm worried about you…having a baby has consumed you. I want this too…but not at the expense of my wife. I feel you slipping away from me…please don't leave me."**_

"_**Where am I going to go? You control my entire fucking life! You have me kept here trying to have your baby…with no job…no income of my own…your very own little Susie Homemaker…just like your mom was for your dad!"**_

_**What the hell was she talking about? I never told her that she had to stay home! Did I want her to be home and raise our children as our mom did with us? Yes…absolutely. However, if she told me she wanted to start her career…we would figure out a way to work it out.**_

_**She never said anything…when we discussed our future…she told me what she was going to do and I went with it. Of course, I was not going to argue with her if she wanted to stay home and care for our children…make our house a home…but if she had said something different…that would have been fine as well. **_

_**I never wanted her to give up who she was…not ever. Where was she getting this idea?**_

"_**Oh please! Are you going to stand here and tell me you didn't want me to stay home like Esme?"**_

"_**Yes, I wanted you to…but if you would have said that wasn't what you wanted…we would have figured something out once you had the baby. I never told you that you had to be like my mom!"**_

"_**I see it in your eyes! I know it's what you want! I tested you! I told you I was going to stay home and take care of our children…make a nice home for you…like our mothers did…and you didn't say a fucking word! Did you say, 'Bella, I want you to use your degree and have a career that you love?' No! You stood there with a huge smile on your face and said, 'Whatever you want, Love.' It was a test that you failed…miserably!"**_

_**We had made our way into the kitchen during our argument. I felt something that had been sitting on the counter whizz passed my head. **_

_**I heard the breaking of glass and turned to see that it was a coffee mug.**_

"_**Jesus, Bella! I'm not a goddamn mind reader! Yes, it made me happy that you said that…I won't deny it…but I thought it was what you wanted!"**_

"_**It was what I wanted at the time…but now when you leave me I'll have nothing to fall back on!"**_

"_**What do you mean, when I leave you? I'm not going anywhere, baby!" I pleaded with her.**_

"_**Yes you will! I can't even give you a baby!"**_

"_**I don't care about that…I want a child with you…I do…but everything I need to be happy in this life is standing right in front of me…only you…you're all I need to keep breathing."**_

_**She stood in front of me…crying.**_

_**I could not stand seeing her so broken.**_

_**We had to stop pressuring ourselves to get pregnant…it was ripping us further apart and I couldn't bear it.**_

"_**Love, why don't we look at the classifieds and see if we can find you something in writing or editing…I don't know…anything to do with your degree. I think it would help us both to take our minds off all of this baby stuff."**_

"_**So…now you don't wanna have a baby with me?"**_

"_**That's not what I said. We will still keep trying the natural way…and we can even look into adoption…or surrogacy…anything that might get us a child."**_

_**I had brought this up before but she would never listen.**_

_**She lifted her head and her eyes were hard.**_

_**As she crossed the room and slapped me across the face she said, "How dare you bring that up when I already told you…I don't want to adopt a baby! I don't want another woman carrying our baby! You like throwing it in my face that I can't get pregnant, don't you? The all-mighty Edward Cullen is once again better than everyone!"**_

"_**Yeah, it makes me feel really superior to everyone that I can't give my wife what she wants, Bella!"**_

_**We were not getting anywhere. She would not listen and I was tired of trying. We screamed at each other and she threw some more things.**_

_**How the fuck did we end up this way?**_

_**I did not like what we had become…and if Bella would take a step back…she would see that she didn't like it either.**_

_**I still loved her with everything in me…but what if love wasn't enough.**_

_**Then it killed me that in that moment, I was actually considering leaving my wife.**_

_**Maybe we would be better off apart…together we seemed to be destroying one another.**_

_**She had left the kitchen and I heard the gut-wrenching sobs coming from the living room. **_

_**When I went in there, I saw Bella curled up on the couch in a ball rocking back and forth.**_

_**Seeing her like that…reminded me how much I loved her…wanted her in my life…how much we needed each other…and I could never walk away from her. She would have to force me away.**_

_**Bella had always been overly emotional but after her mom died…she was worse. She pretty much lost both parents since Charlie shut everyone out and would not really talk to her.**_

_**My parents tried to get her to speak with a grief counselor but she never did.**_

_**I tried to get her into a support group for people who had lost someone…but she would not go.**_

_**I knew my Bella well enough to know that she wanted to be as good of a mother as she had…and trying to get pregnant was taking its toll on her. **_

_**Both of us.**_

_**But I wasn't going to try and talk to her anymore about what I had lost when we found out we weren't really pregnant. She did not want to hear it or accept that if affected me too…so I would deal with it on my own.**_

_**I was always selfish when it came to most things…including Bella…this one time I would not be selfish and I would help my wife through her pain…and then go deal with mine the best way I knew how.**_

_**My good friend Jack Daniels.**_

_**End Flashback**_

I had called Jenks before I left the house and explained to him what I wanted to do. He told me I would need to come in and sign the necessary paperwork.

Jenks had been the Cullen family lawyer for as long as I could remember.

As I walked into his office, his secretary greeted me…or should I say…she flirted with me. I was not interested.

Bella was turning me against women all together.

She had the nerve to be pissed at me for lying to her when she turned around and did the same thing.

_Hypocrite!_

The secretary told me I could go in and see Mr. Jenks now. He met me at the door and offered a polite handshake, which I graciously accepted.

"Come in and have a seat, Edward. I've drawn up all the necessary paperwork, as you asked," Jenks said as he sat down behind his desk.

"Good. This will go into effect, _immediately_, correct? I don't want her to be able to use any more of _my_ money."

He sighed, "Edward…if you are two are going to go through a divorce…it is highly likely that she is going to get a huge chunk of your money anyway, especially with the baby coming. You and Bella have always been in love, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm absolutely certain," I said with a straight face.

"Okay, well, I think I can get this through with a judge that I know personally. He should agree to it since she made the frivolous purchase of the Porsche. You are protecting your assets. You will have to continue her insurance and keep paying medical bills…also since she's pregnant…you might have to allow for a monthly allowance to be given to her from the frozen account."

"Of course, I want my child well cared for."

"If the accounts are frozen until the divorce is final…you can't touch them either."

I shrugged.

"I don't need them. I have a credit card my parents gave me in high school that has nothing to do with Bella. We never put her name on it. Honestly, we both kind of forgot about it…so I can use that to get by…it has plenty on it."

"I'm going to ask you one more time…are you _sure_? You can't take this back."

"Do it! Look, she is staying with Charlie. I'm not putting her out on the street! She will still have medical care for the baby…if the judge says I need to give her something then so be it…but the bulk of the money is untouched…understand?"

He nodded.

If she had nothing…would she stay with Charlie…or would she come home to me? I was hoping for the latter.

I signed the papers when he pushed them towards me and I did not feel anything as I did so.

She was having her first appointment with the doctor today…her pregnancy confirmation…and if she was far enough along…she might even hear the heartbeat.

I did try to call my father this morning to plead with him once more to tell me where her appointment was and what time. He wouldn't tell me. He said he felt bad enough that he had spilled her secret…and he agreed with Emmett…that I was in no condition to be there for her.

What the fuck was that?

He was my father.

I hung up on him.

I was done with all of them.

But even after all the revelations of my parents' past, nothing had hurt me as much as finding out what Bella had done.

Her betrayal had made me numb.

What kind of woman doesn't tell her husband he's going to be a father?

When I returned home from Jenks' office, it was time to partake in my new favorite pastime…drinking and sitting.

I ignored all the calls from my parents…my siblings…and my supervisor.

I had voicemails from pretty much everyone…but Bella.

_Edward, it's Mom…please call me back. I'm sorry about the way we left things yesterday. Please…just call me sweetheart. I love you._

_Edward, it's Dad. I'm sorry you've made the same mistake I did, son. I hate to see what you are doing to yourself. Please call me back…we need to talk about this. Do you want Bella to keep you out of your child's life? Because that's what's going to happen if you don't change your ways. Just…call me._

_Edward, it's Ali. Things have been awful between us. Please…call me back. I think I'm ready to talk to you. I don't want to lose my brother. I am going to call Em because I think the three of us should have a pow-wow as siblings. I love you._

_Edward, it's Em…until you're ready to stop acting like a douche…don't fucking call me. Just wanted to let you know that I'm done. Bye._

_Edward, it's Chief Swan. You have a lot of fucking nerve you little prick! How dare you cut my daughter off like that! She has devoted the last seven years to you, you selfish little ingrate! She did everything you asked! And this is how you repay her? Rest assured…you have not heard the end of this! You will be sorry you hurt my baby girl!_

Hmmm…guess the Swans heard the news about Bella's new financial status.

I didn't care about Charlie's threats.

Nothing mattered anymore.

I pressed delete and successfully erased all the messages.

I was trying to think of the best way to confront Bella about her lies. Before I could even think about it, I was dialing her number.

It went to voicemail.

_Fucking figured._

She would be too chicken shit to answer now. I was sure my mother had called her first thing this morning to discuss her grandchild…which would make her aware of the fact that I was on to her lies.

I left her a message that was nasty and awful. I probably would not even remember it tomorrow.

There was a knock at the door, and I was surprised to see Lauren standing there when I answered it.

Couldn't she take a fucking hint?

Oh well…I was drunk and did not care.

I pulled her inside and crushed my lips to hers.

I wanted to see if I could feel _anything_ for her…_anything_ at all. I had to see if there was a better reason that I fucked her to begin with.

Her kiss…was sloppy…and gross. It was _nothing_ to me. I was not kissing, soft, moist, angelic lips…these were _wrong_.

My dick didn't even come to life at all from the kiss.

I was as big of a cocksucker as everyone said…because I threw away my fucking marriage for someone who did not mean shit to me.

I passed out again…unsure of whether or not Lauren had left the house.

_**Tuesday September 23, 2008: Age 25**_

Incessant knocking was pulling me from my deep alcohol-induced sleep.

When I sat up on the couch, everything from the night before came back to me. I remembered letting Lauren in and _kissing_ her. I shuddered at that thought.

I remembered enough to know that I had _not_ slept with her. Thank God, _again_. I really needed to quit putting myself in that fucking position with her…Bella was right; I was going to catch some god-awful disease from her. I really needed to get tested for STD's.

The knocking continued. "Hold the fuck on! I'm coming, Jesus!"

I had yet another hangover and when I looked around the living room, I could not see signs of Lauren anywhere.

I hoped that she left last night because I did not want to deal with her today.

When I opened the front door, there was a man standing there, whom I guess would be considered good-looking.

I was a guy so it was not as if I noticed that sort of thing…but he looked like one of those preppy assholes from television that Alice, Rose and Bella would go gaga over.

He smirked at me and it made me wonder who the hell this asshole was.

"I don't believe we've formally met. I'm _Riley_…Riley Mitchell." He was smiling like the cat that ate the canary and looking all kinds of cocky!

No fucking way!

This joker did not seriously have the balls to show up at my house. Curiosity got the best of me and I ushered him into the house.

It was then that I noticed he was carrying a briefcase.

"What brings you all the way to Seattle this early?" I asked.

"Mr. Cullen, it's two in the afternoon," he scoffed.

Really? Hunh…that explained why it was so bright outside. I was supposed to be at the hospital eleven. Oh well.

"Whatever, what are you doing here?" I asked sharply.

He was irritating me just by standing there.

"Well, Miss Swan was quite upset to find out yesterday that she no longer had access to any of your financial assets. She came to my office immediately to have my colleague, Miss Bennett draw up the divorce papers. Miss Bennett is currently handling her case.

"Miss Swan was still unsure of how soon she wanted them delivered…until she received _your_ phone call last night. She called _me_ late last night. We have become quite good friends and I had to go over there and console her because she was so upset. She is such a delightful young woman and I couldn't stand to see her hurting. I assured her that the divorce papers would be hand delivered as soon as possible. It is as a personal favor to her, that I am here doing this since Miss Bennett was tied up in court this morning."

Fuck…I wished I could remember what I said in that message last night. Knowing me and how hurtful I could be when I was mad, it was probably dreadful.

He opened his briefcase and pulled out a packet of papers. He threw them down on the coffee table and said, "Consider them delivered. I suggest you sign them quickly, after you have your lawyer look over them of course. Please hurry though, because Miss Swan is ready to be rid of you."

Who the fuck did he think he was?

"Look, pal, you have no idea who you are fucking with!"

Riley put his hand up to stop my rant.

"Blah, blah, blah, you're the great Edward Cullen. Guess what? I don't give a shit who you are. All I care about is _Bella_." Then the fucker laughed…it was sinister and I did not like it. "Listen, _pal_, your soon to be ex-wife has had it with you and your little games. She is ready for this to be over…and you just keep pushing her away. You're quite the idiot, really. _Have a nice day_," he said with a cocky grin.

He turned to leave when we both heard the voice, "Oh good, Eddie, you're up! You need to feed your pregnant mama though, I'm starving!"

Lauren was standing at the bottom of the stairs wearing nothing but the button-up shirt I had worn yesterday.

I knew we did not have sex so what the fuck was she doing?

She was insane.

Riley's grin widened and before he walked through the door he said, "I'll be sure to tell Miss Swan that your _baby mama_ says '_hi_'."

Then, he was gone.

Fuck! Goddamn it! He was going to Bella that Lauren was here…wearing nothing but my shirt.

How much worse could things possibly get?

_**A/N…Oh yes…things have to get worse before they get better.**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of Chapter 17 from BPOV…and we will see a time jump in this chapter.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for constantly editing this stuff more than once. Thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading more than once. LOL**_

_**My WONDERFUL, AMAZING, FANTASTIC beta **__dolphin62598 __**made a fan video for this story. It is AWESOME! You can check it out here:**_

_**http:/www(dot)vimeo(dot)com/14217039**_

_**You can also find videos there that I made for Where Do We Go From Here and Brothers & Sisters. Eventually, I hope to have one up for all of my stories. **_

_**Many readers like to go and vent about this story over on the Twilighted Thread. You can visit it here:**_

_**http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=10046**_

_**Also, I have pictures for this story at this address:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**From the Darkness Comes Light by DreamsofEdward1**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/6245302/1/From_The_Darkness_Comes_Light#**_

_**This story is only one chapter in and I'm already hooked and needing MORE! It has a lot of potential! Go check it out and tell her I sent you! **_

_**Have a great week! **_


	18. Five Months Later

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…SURPRISE! **_

Chapter 17

BPOV

_**Saturday February 14, 2009: Age 25**_

My precious baby was growing wonderfully and so far, everything had been normal. I was ecstatic every time I heard the heartbeat or saw the baby on the ultrasounds. I opted not to find out the sex because I wanted to be surprised.

I had picked out two names though, one for each sex. My baby girl would be Charley Renee or my little boy would be Charles Anthony. Either way, this baby would be little Charlie.

Dad had been amazing through everything…and it felt right to name my child after him.

When I came to care for him after he was shot, he ended up taking care of me. If it were not for him and Riley, I did not know what I would do.

They had both been wonderful and were taking care of my every need.

Edward made sure that our accounts were still frozen…even after he knew about his child. He was fighting the divorce every step of the way and it was driving me insane.

The last five months had been hell. It was not healthy for my baby or me. This should have been a happy time for me.

As much as I enjoyed feeling my baby growing inside of me, Edward just would not leave me alone long enough to truly enjoy it.

The Edward that I grew up with and loved more than anything…was missing in action. This new Edward was cold, detached and always drunk.

He was pushing everyone in his life away from him. He was spiraling out of control and I feared that no one would be able to save him from himself. Anger and rage fueled his actions. I was not sure if he was madder at himself or me.

The truth of the matter was…he only had himself to blame for all of this…and I knew that deep down inside…_my_ Edward knew that…which was why he was punishing himself and lashing out at everyone around him.

I could still remember the message he left after Carlisle apparently spilled the beans about my pregnancy at the anniversary party. That one message strengthened my resolve to get the divorce papers to him as soon as possible.

_**Flashback**_

_**My father was furious as we drove to Riley's office. Once we arrived, he insisted on speaking to Riley and Victoria at the same time.**_

_**Victoria was my lawyer but he wanted Riley's advice also.**_

_**Edward had always tried so hard to gain my father's approval but he never gave it…yet he adored Riley. It was obvious to both Charlie and me that Riley was interested in more than friendship with me…and Charlie seemed okay with that.**_

_**I guess my father must have had some sort of sixth sense that Edward would eventually break my heart.**_

_**When we got to the law office, my father demanded that Riley and Victoria do something about what Edward had pulled.**_

_**I did not want to go after his money but Charlie and Riley assured me I needed to get half of his money for the baby. They were right…I had a little one to think about now.**_

_**Victoria had the papers drawn up with all of my demands. I was supposed to get half of everything and Edward would be expected to sell the house before giving me half of that as well. He would also have to start paying child support and carry our baby on his medical insurance.**_

_**I was nervous about giving him the papers since he was still unaware that I was even pregnant.**_

_**For that reason, I told them to hold off on giving him the papers.**_

_**Until…I got home and heard the message that he left on my cell phone. I did not have it with me while we were out and I was appalled at the things he said.**_

_**It was obvious that he was drunk but it was no excuse!**_

"_**Bella…it's your fucking husband…or should I say your baby daddy? That's right…my father was honest with me and told me everything. I know that you lied. You are one fucked up lying bitch, aren't you? **_

"_**We wanted a baby so badly and now that we have it…you're fucking lying about it? I guess it's a good thing you want a divorce because…guess what? I totally fucked Lauren again last night…yep I sure as hell did…and it was hot.**_

"_**She makes me feel so needed and loved…like you **__used__** to do. But you stopped loving and wanting me a long time ago. All you wanted from me was my fucking sperm. Sex with you became so cold and robotic…nothing was ever spontaneous. Well, I guess you got what you wanted. You're fucking pregnant! Oh and by the way…you will not be keeping me from my kid! See ya soon, honey!"**_

_**He was slurring all of his words but I could understand him perfectly. **_

_**Message received loud and clear Edward!**_

_**I called Riley in tears and he came right to the house. He was furious when I played the message for him. He made it his personal mission to make sure those divorce papers were served the next morning.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Riley told me that when he went to give Edward the papers…Lauren came downstairs wearing nothing but Edward's shirt.

I was hoping that the things Edward said in the message about Lauren…were only said out of drunken anger…but hearing Riley tell me that he saw her there…I knew Edward was telling the truth in his message.

Guess he lied before when he told Jasper he broke things off with her. She was there…in our house…_again_…wearing his clothing…it made me sick.

Riley also said that Edward was not happy about receiving the papers.

Tough!

Esme called me later in the week and wanted to meet for lunch. She drove to Forks and we ate at the diner.

She informed me of _everything_ that happened at the anniversary party.

I was shocked that Carlisle had cheated on her.

It was awful that his timing for cheating on her was when his family needed him the most too. I was completely floored by the events she described from the anniversary party.

But everything made so much sense now.

Esme knew that just because Edward had a reason for acting the way he always had…it did not excuse his actions.

Our discussion turned to how she felt after everything happened with Carlisle. She had many of the same feelings I was currently having. However, she already had three children with the man. It was the hardest thing she had ever done…but she was able to make it work and take him back.

My mother-in-law also informed me that she still had not let Carlisle come back home. Hearing about what Edward had done brought up many bad memories and re-opened old wounds for them.

After many heated debates, they had gone back to counseling. She told me she knew that they would work things out again and things were actually better between them right now than they had ever been.

Esme assured me it would more than likely only be a matter of months before she allowed her husband to come back home…if not sooner. She just needed some space and it had done them both good.

One thing was certain…she was adamant about being in her grandchild's life. I told her that I hoped she and Carlisle could work through things again and that I would never keep either of them out of this baby's life.

Esme expressed concern for her son. She said he was falling downhill fast and there was nothing anyone could do to stop it. None of his family knew how to help him.

I reminded her that I could not worry about Edward right now. My only concern was my baby.

She agreed…and she told me while she and Carlisle could not do anything about what Edward was doing with the frozen accounts…they were going to set up an account for me.

Esme insisted that I use it for anything I wanted but I told her I would only use it for things the baby needed. I assured her that Charlie was helping me with everything else until I was back on my feet…on my own.

What shocked me the most was when she apologized to me.

"Bella, I'm so very sorry," she said in a whisper.

"_Why_? What do you have to be sorry for?"

"Carlisle and I know that Edward's actions are his own…but we can see that we need to take responsibility for the damage our actions has done to him. By treating him the way he did, we did more harm than good to his moral compass…his character…and you as well as our grandchild are paying the price. For that…we are both sorry.

"My husband is also afraid to face you. He feels horrible that he spilled your secret the way that he did."

I shook my head.

I did not want either of them to feel bad. "Thank you for your apologies, but they are not necessary. Edward is a grown man…you have no control over his decisions. Also, please tell Carlisle I'm not mad at him…and I really should not have put him in that position."

Before we parted ways, we made plans to get together and talk again. She was going to explain how she felt while she was trying to conceive Emmett…hoping it would help me deal with some of my emotions.

Later that night, Edward showed up pounding on the front door.

Riley happened to be over. It was awful! Edward was threatening to kill him. Charlie had to call the police because he was still on his crutches and that infuriated him because he _was_ the police.

_**Flashback**_

"_**OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR BELLA! I SWEAR TO FUCK I WILL BREAK IT DOWN!"**_

_**I told Riley not to open the door but he did not listen. He wanted to tell him to get off Charlie's property.**_

_**I stayed back where Edward could not see me. I did not want to encourage anything good or bad from him…because frankly…I just wanted him to leave…forever.**_

_**It had been hard enough trying to put him and his betrayal out of my mind…but the fact that he would not leave me alone was making it that much harder.**_

_**Stress was not good for the baby either.**_

_**Edward tried to get passed Riley but he shoved Edward back before closing the door behind both of them.**_

_**I could still hear their heated whispers from where I stood.**_

"_**Let me see my fucking wife! We need to discuss our baby and what a liar she is!"**_

"_**Cullen, you are drunk and out of your mind right now. I can smell the fucking booze on you from where I stand. You had no business even driving here! You could have killed someone…or yourself! Do you really want your baby to be without a father? Pull it together man!" Riley told him.**_

"_**You don't know anything about me you cocksucker, now get out of my way! Bella and I are discussing this now! That baby is fucking mine and she will not keep me from it! In fact…I might just take it from her since she is such a lying bitch!"**_

_**That did it…I stormed out the front door and saw Edward still trying to push his way through Riley to get into the house.**_

"_**Wait just a minute, Edward! You can see your child when and if you get sober before he or she gets here…but you will never take my baby from me! Do you understand?" I seethed.**_

_**Edward scoffed, "That's right because perfect little Bella finally got what she fucking wanted and no one better dare take that away! Right sweetheart? You destroyed our fucking marriage for this baby and you'll do anything to keep it!" He yelled back at me.**_

_**How dare him! I was stunned into silence for a moment.**_

_**Riley was trying to get me to leave the situation alone. "Bella, please sweets, go back into the house. This isn't good for you or the baby."**_

"_**Who the fuck do you think you are calling **__sweets__**? That is my fucking wife you are talking to!" Edward yelled as he took a swing at Riley. Riley ducked thank goodness.**_

_**Then, I heard my father as he struggled with his crutches and walked out behind me. "Bells, I've called the station. Mark and the boys should be here soon. I'm sorry honey but he needs to spend the night in jail."**_

_**I turned to my father, "Fine by me!" Then I turned back to the ridiculous scene in front of me. Edward was standing with his hands on his knees, bent over, vomiting into our shrubs. **_

_**Nice.**_

_**Wow…he would win father of the year with this display.**_

"_**Edward," I started calmly. "First, I do not want to ever hear you talk about taking my baby away again…because it will never happen. No judge in their right mind would ever give custody of a child to the likes of you. You're a cheater…a drunk…and you are always at work. **_

"_**Secondly, I think you pretty much destroyed our marriage when you slept with someone other than your wife. It is over and you need to stop fighting this. Please…think about the baby and just give me the divorce."**_

"_**No Bella…I can't let you go. Please baby…just talk to me," he pleaded as he dropped to his knees.**_

_**My heart wanted to reach out to him…but there was no way I could allow myself to do so. Our marriage was over…and I needed to move on…without him.**_

_**Mark and the rest of my dad's deputies pulled in without using their sirens. They were trying to keep things low-key and I was thankful for that.**_

_**I smiled softly behind me at my dad, "All of your deputies? Was that really necessary?"**_

_**My father shrugged and gave me a sheepish look, "Sorry, Bells. I didn't want things to get out of hand and I wanted to make sure you two were safe."**_

_**That made my heart melt because I knew that he was talking about his grandbaby.**_

_**Mark and the boys handcuffed Edward because he was not going willingly. Charlie talked to the boys for a bit while Riley calmed me down inside the house.**_

"_**Are you okay, sweets?" He asked gently.**_

"_**I'm fine," I said with little enthusiasm. My bottom lip trembled and before I knew it, I was a sobbing mess and Riley was holding me.**_

"_**Aw, it's okay, Bella. He's gone."**_

_**I shook my head. "It's not just that. That man out there…that was not my Edward. My baby does not have a father…not one that it can depend on. What am I going to do? How will I do this alone?"**_

_**Riley held my face gently in his hands and forced me to look at him. "You listen to me, Isabella Swan. That baby may not have a father that he or she can depend on…but you are not alone. You have me and you have your dad."**_

_**I nodded and fell back into his arms crying myself to sleep.**_

_**Riley had turned out to be a wonderful friend already. I was so happy that I met him.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Over the last five months, Riley and I had gotten extremely close. I considered him a great friend…and I knew that he wanted _more_ but friendship was all I was offering right now.

Edward was not budging about the divorce. He would not let me go and he fought us every step of the way.

Dad and Victoria did make sure that a restraining order was placed on Edward because of the night he showed up at the house drunk.

Mark and the boys charged Edward with public intoxication but his lawyer got him off with only a slap on the wrist.

We had gone to court a few times but Edward was not backing down. He just would not let me go. He knew I was going to eventually win…he had to know that…he was just making things so much harder…for all of us.

Due to the frozen accounts, the payments for the Porsche were not being made, so that was repossessed. Riley let me use his car until my dad could drive again. Right now, Charlie and I were sharing his truck.

Now Edward's claim was that he wanted the paternity of our baby proven before the divorce was settled. That infuriated me…but I kept my cool…for my little one.

Riley and Victoria said it was simply a tactic he was using to stall…they said this was all a bureaucratic game of bullshit basically…I would win and get everything I wanted…but Edward was grasping at straws to drag it out as long as humanly possible to get me to return to him.

Paternity would not be decided until the baby was born because I was not going to have any harmful tests performed on my child while he or she was still in the womb.

His family was livid that he was requesting a paternity test. Esme told me that one night while Edward was drunk, Carlisle went to see him. He was furious that he was demanding a paternity test. He asked him how he could do that when it would be harmful to the baby.

Edward told him he knew I would not agree to have it done now of course, so that would buy him time to stall the divorce if he insisted on it being done after the baby arrived.

Manipulative bastard. Riley and Victoria were right.

I had been remarkably calm through all of this. It was amazing what you could accomplish for the sake of keeping your baby safe.

Working on my book was helping immensely. It felt good to get some of my emotions and frustrations out on paper.

I kept in close contact with Edward's family and they all said his drinking had gotten dangerously out of control.

One day last week while talking to Alice, she informed me that Edward had been fired from the hospital and kicked out of the program.

No surprise there.

I wondered what he was going to do for a career now…he had pretty much destroyed his chances of ever practicing medicine again.

I was currently cooking a nice Valentine's Day dinner as a thank-you for my dad and Riley. As I finished putting the lasagna together, my cell phone started ringing.

Without looking at the caller ID, I answered.

"Hello?"

"_Well…if it isn't my lovely wife who is out to ruin my fucking life_," Edward slurred.

"Edward, hang up the phone. You're not supposed to be calling…stop harassing me. If I am causing you so many problems then you really need to just sign the papers and let me go!"

"_Absolutely not! You are _mine_, Bella. Don't you get that? We promised each other forever! You don't quit just because we hit a bump in the road!_"

I had to laugh at that. Was he being serious? It did not escape my attention…that the slurring of his words was proving that of course he was drunk…yet again.

"A bump in the road? Is that what they call fucking someone other than your spouse these days? Gee…I thought it was called adultery…which is in fact…grounds for a _divorce_!"

"_Why do you always turn this around on me? Why can't you see how badly you hurt me! I tried to help you! Do you remember that? I stood by you every time your pregnancy tests came back negative. I offered alternatives to you…because I was willing to do everything for you…infertility treatments…adoption…surrogacy…anything to get you a baby…but it wasn't good enough for you…I wasn't good enough for you! I even begged you to go to couples counseling with me!"_

I sighed. I did not need to hear this from him.

He was not going to turn this around on me!

"Drop it, Edward! Stop trying to make yourself sound like the victim. You broke my heart!"

"_Yeah, well you broke mine first when you used me! All you wanted from me was my fucking dick! You wanted sperm and you didn't care how you fucking got it! Jesus, every time I tried to fucking touch you if you were not ovulating you would freak out! Do you remember that_?"

As much as I didn't want to…I did remember that.

_**Flashback**_

_**We had been trying for a little bit and the fun was starting to go away after many negative pregnancy tests.**_

_**Edward had just gotten home from a long shift…but that usually never stopped him from needing to be inside of me and I loved that.**_

_**However…I had read on a blog that it was important to save the sex for only when you were ovulating.**_

_**It was late so I was already in bed when Edward got home. He climbed into bed and started touching me…trying to get something started. **_

"_**Edward, stop," I told him as I pushed him off me.**_

"_**Baby, I'm horny. I need you in the worst fucking way. Let me make love to you and make you feel good."**_

_**He was kissing my neck and I was about to cave…but I wanted my baby so badly.**_

_**I pushed him away from me with greater force and said, "No! You know we have to save the sex for when I am ovulating. Now stop!"**_

"_**Well…just let me touch you. There are other ways we can please each other, love."**_

"_**No!"**_

"_**Please, baby. Can we just hold each other then? I miss holding you in my arms all night long and watching you sleep."**_

_**I shook my head no. "No, Edward! How many ways do I need to say it! Touching, and other things lead to only one thing with us and I think you know that, which is why you are trying to manipulate me to get your way!"**_

_**He looked pissed.**_

"_**That's not it! I was just trying to have some fucking intimacy with my wife! Sue me!"**_

_**We both turned over in the bed, angry and fell asleep.**_

_**That was just one of many nights that ended like that.**_

_**The next day, Edward came home and apologized for the previous night. I accepted and then while we were having dinner…we fell apart again.**_

_**He set his fork down gently and said, "I think we need to see someone."**_

"_**What do you mean?" I asked.**_

"_**Couples counseling. I found a therapist who specifically deals with couples who are trying to conceive. I think it would be beneficial to both of us. Baby, I feel us falling apart and I can't stand it…"**_

_**I did not give him a chance to finish. I stood from the table and dumped my plate in the sink effectively ending dinner.**_

_**I went to our room…grabbed a pillow and a blanket…took them into the guest room and cried myself to sleep.**_

_**He was giving up on us…he thought we needed counseling?**_

_**How could he? **_

_**Was he right?**_

_**I did not want to think about that. I heard the door to the guest room open.**_

"_**Bells, what are you doing? Please come to bed."**_

"_**No, just go away Edward. Leave me alone."**_

_**I heard him sigh but he left the room and did not come back.**_

_**Again…that was not the first night something like that happened.**_

_**End flashback.**_

Why couldn't I see just how far we had drifted apart…_before_ Edward cheated?

"_You're quiet, baby. I guess you do _remember_. Did it make you feel good to constantly hurt me…just so you could get your baby_?"

"Shut up, Edward! I am done listening to you! Goodbye!"

I hung up the phone and broke down into sobs. Before retreating to my room, I left a note for the guys that said I did not feel well and I told them how to finish the lasagna.

Without even bothering to remove my clothes, I curled up into my bed and cried myself to sleep.

Sometime later, horrible cramping in my stomach disrupted my sleep. I screamed for my dad and he was there in a heartbeat.

"What is it baby girl?"

"It's the baby…something's wrong Daddy! We need to get to the hospital!"

I prayed that the baby was not coming. I was only seven months! It was not time.

Before I knew it, Dad was whisking me away to the hospital while calling Riley and telling him to meet us there.

All the way, I begged God to let my baby be all right.

_**A/N…Okay you guys…please please trust me! I warned you that it has to get worse before it gets better…it WILL get better.**_

_**Bella will NOT lose the baby…just wanted to let you know that.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing and teacher1209 for pre-reading!**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser for Chapter 18 from EPOV. **_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_When She Smiles__** by **__sunflowersongs_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5874016/20/When_She_Smiles**_

_**LOVING this story!**_


	19. I Love You Enough To Let You Go

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Song that I listened to while writing this chapter:**_

_Apology__** by **__Ashley Parker Angel_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=0l3rhLceYBU**_

_***TISSUE WARNING* I was told by both my beta and my pre-reader to issue a tissue warning for this chapter. Teacher1209 says that at least 4 tissues are needed lol. See you on the other side! **_

Chapter 18

EPOV

_**Sunday February 15, 2009: Age 25**_

My entire life had fallen apart around me since September. I had made one bad decision after another. Now it seemed as if my life was spiraling out of control and there was nothing I or anyone else could do to stop it.

Nothing mattered to me anyway…not without _her_.

Certainly no one deserved me as a father.

Lauren kept trying to get me to go to her appointments at the doctor's office with her. I could not have cared less about what was going on with _that_ pregnancy.

I knew that sounded cold-hearted but it was the truth. The one pregnancy that I wanted to be a part of, I was not allowed to be involved with at all.

She was also constantly calling me for money…which she was not getting. I didn't have it anyway. My parents found out that I was using my old credit card and they fucking cut it off!

Luckily, I had pulled out a hefty amount of cash from it…but it would need to last me…and my drinking habit was not cheap.

Bella was still pushing forward with the divorce and insisting I sign those goddamn divorce papers. The bitch was insisting that she get half of my fucking money. There was no way that was happening.

I hated thinking of her as a bitch…especially since I did not _really_ feel that way about her. She was still my angel. It was easier to think bad things about her in an attempt to keep the pain away. I would give her every penny to my name if she would come back to me. That was _all_ that I wanted.

Therefore…I continued to protest the divorce and stop it every chance that I had. Mr. Jenks told me this would only be able to go on for so long but I did not care because I was just trying to buy myself some time. I was praying for some sort of miracle.

That miracle still had not happened.

It killed me to insist on a paternity test…but when I asked Jenks about another way I could stall the divorce…he told me I could do that.

I told him to do it. He warned me that it would hurt Bella…I _knew_ it would…but I fucking did it anyway because I was that much of a prick.

Of course I knew that baby was mine. Bella was too good and decent to ever cheat on someone. I was the only cheater in our relationship.

She had to give me time…I just needed time. I had to stall…there was no other way.

Then…she had the audacity to put a fucking restraining order on me! On me…her husband! I knew that bitch attorney had something to do with putting that idea in her head. She and Charlie knew I would never hurt her.

I just wanted to talk to her…see her.

_Yeah…I'm sure showing up at her house in a drunken rage made her feel all kinds of safe idiot!_

My drinking was getting worse. I had no idea what was happening in my own damn family because the only one who was really even _attempting_ to speak to me was Jasper…or maybe he was the only one that I wanted to talk to…it was hard for me to remember.

The alcohol made everything _hazy_.

I had officially worn out my welcome at the hospital. No matter who my father was, they were done putting up with my shit. I was happy about it though…being a fucking doctor was no longer, what I wanted.

Last week when they kicked me out, I left the hospital with a huge smile on my face. It was the first one in a long time.

I had no idea what I did want…other than to lay around and drink as much as humanly possible without killing myself.

The fight I had last night with Bella on the phone was horrible, _again_, and on Valentine's Day no less.

She continued to make me angry…the way she pushed me away…the way that she kept me from her appointments that dealt with _my_ child…the way that Jasper told me she was spending all of her time with her father and that _tool_, Riley.

Everything she did pissed me off beyond recognition.

I had lost everything and I only had myself to blame…so I had become very good at drowning my sorrows and having a daily pity-party.

I was about to start drinking my first glass of Jack Daniels this morning, when my phone rang from the coffee table.

Stupidly, I answered while silently praying that it was Bella.

"Hello? Bella?" I asked quickly. My voice was so ragged from the drinking and screaming at Bella last night that even I did not recognize my own voice.

"_Edward…it's Charlie_," he said quietly.

_No_…I knew immediately by the sound of his voice that something was wrong.

"What is it? Is Bella all right? The baby?" I asked in a panic.

"_Look, I am not a fan of yours right now…but you are still this baby's father. Speaking from one father to another, I think you should know what is going on with your child. I just brought Bella to the hospital. I have no idea what's wrong yet…but she was cramping pretty badly. I think you should be here even if I can't stand you. You should know if…something happens…or if it's early labor…just get here! Can you do that?_"

I had already grabbed my keys and was headed out the door. "I'm on my way now, Sir...but what about the restraining order?"

"_Good, text me when you get here. Don't worry about the restraining order…I'm the police and I will look the other way…for now. Bella doesn't know that I called you and she's not going to be happy about it. If you let me know when you are here, I'll come down and get you. Hopefully, we'll know more by the time you get here since it's a three and a half hour drive_."

Fuck that…there was no way it was taking me that long to get to my wife and child.

"Sure, see you when I get there," I said ending the call.

All the way to the hospital, all I could think about was how different things would have been if I had not slept with Lauren.

I would already be in the hospital with my wife when she needed me…not three hours away.

_She wouldn't be in the hospital at all if you would stop causing her so much stress._

_If she loses your baby…it's going to be all your fault._

I pushed those thoughts out of my mind. I needed to stay positive and just see what was happening with Bella and the baby when I got there. Seven months was too early…so as I drove…I prayed for my son or daughter.

_God…I know I am far from your favorite person right now…but please don't punish our baby because I am such a fuck up. I may not deserve to be a father…but my wife was born to be a mother…and she does deserve this blessing. I am begging you here…let them be okay._

When I finally arrived at the hospital, I did not text Charlie as he had asked me to do. All I could think about was getting to Bella.

I went to the information desk at the front entrance of the hospital because I didn't know whether Bella would still be in the emergency room or not.

They told me that she had been moved to a room up in labor and delivery. Other than her room number, they could offer no more information.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I saw through the window of her room before I entered. Bella was lying in the hospital bed rubbing soothing circles on her swollen belly with one hand…while fucking _Riley_…sat in the chair by her side…holding her other goddamn hand!

Anger was taking over my body and I had my hand on the doorknob, ready to enter the room when I felt a strong hand come down on my shoulder.

"I would calm myself before I entered that room if I were you, boy. I think I still owe you an ass kicking and if you go in that room and upset my daughter and my grandchild…you're going to get it," Charlie said.

"What the fuck is _he_ doing here? _I_ am that baby's father! He is nothing to them and doesn't have the right to be here!"

"Listen punk…you're lucky I even bothered to call you. Bella doesn't want you here! The only reason I did call is because as a _father_, I would want to know…but I can always change my mind and have you removed. I told you to text me when you got here because I wanted to prepare Bells for your arrival…she cannot be upset right now. So…I will ask you…can you go in there and be calm about this? If you are going to upset her, I will remove you myself!"

I sighed in frustration and made a move to walk in the room, ignoring Charlie. He then grabbed me by the collar of my shirt, pulled me away from the door and slammed me into the wall behind us.

"Do you think this is a fucking game? That is my _daughter_ in there! She is scared out of her mind and Riley is her friend. He will be here as long as she wants him here. And you will not enter that room until I tell you to! Do you understand me? All I care about is her and that baby! If anything happens to them because of your stupidity and your actions, I will end you! You will _**NOT**_ enter that room until I have your word that you are not going to upset her and I've explained to her why I called you here."

I nodded because Charlie was honestly scaring me…and I had never been scared of that man in my entire life.

"Now…are you going to go in there and play nice?" He questioned.

"Yes, sir."

"Good…I'll be right back," he said as he released me and went into the room.

I paced the hallway for about twenty minutes before Riley came out of the room.

"Oh, hi _Edward_. It's nice to see you again," he smiled.

"Can I go in there or not?" I snapped. I was not in the mood for pleasantries with that bastard.

"I can't make that decision. That's really up to the Chief. I would stay out here and be a good little boy until he comes out to give you the all clear. You see, _sweets_ is having a pretty hard time with the fact that you're even here. So…it's not looking too good for you right now, Champ," he said sarcastically.

"Stop fucking calling her that! She's not your sweets!" I seethed.

"Oh but she _is_. She is so _sweet_. I just can't get enough of her…_company_. I truly love being around her…there are many…_benefits_ to our…_friendship_."

My anger was reaching a boiling point very quickly. I had calmed down…but if this fucker was implying what I thought he was…I was going to lose it fast.

If he was sleeping with Bella…while my baby was inside of her…there was going to be hell to pay!

Just then, the door to Bella's room opened again and Charlie came out. "Is everything okay out here?" He asked while looking between Riley and me.

"Of course, Charlie. I'm just going to get that water for _Bells_ and I was telling Edward here, good luck," he said as he patted me on the shoulder and headed down the hallway.

What the fuck was he doing?

A part of me wanted to tell Charlie what he just said to me and implied, but the other part of me knew that Charlie would probably not believe me.

Instead, I asked about my wife.

"May I please see them?" I asked including the baby also.

"Yes…but just be warned. She's not happy with me right now and she still doesn't want you here. If she tells you to leave, you're gone…you got me?"

I nodded and followed him into the room.

"Hi," Bella said quietly.

"Hey," I responded lamely. She was still so beautiful…even after all the stress I had put her through.

"Your hair has grown out," I told her.

She patted her hair down and said, "Yeah…well you know my hair grows fast. I'm sure it looks a mess right now."

"No, it's beautiful…_you're_ beautiful…always," I said.

Bella blushed while Charlie cleared his throat.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"Did you really come here to talk about my hair, Edward?" Bella asked.

I was just going to tell her that I was here because I wanted to be there for my child…and her…when Riley came back into the room with her water.

"I have nice cold water for the lovely patient," he said as he walked passed me and towards Bella.

He nodded in my direction, "Hey Edward, how are you?" He asked happily.

He then proceeded to kiss _my_ wife on the fucking forehead and give her the water before sitting down in the chair beside her and pulling her hand into his…again.

It did not escape my attention that when he did this, Bella and Charlie both scowled at him and she pulled her hand from his…gently…but she still pulled it away.

"Oh, I'm…just…fucking…_peachy_," I fumed.

Riley tried to look innocent while Bella turned to him, "You know you're going to get him worked up…so don't." She then patted his hand and said, "I know you mean well…but please…just…not now, okay?"

He nodded and leaned in to whisper something in her ear that made her blush. I was beyond pissed now. This fucker was purposely trying to goad me!

"Would you fucking back away from her? She doesn't need you in her personal space! Learn some boundaries, asshole!" I screamed.

"Edward, do we need to head outside?" Charlie warned.

I shook my head no like a petulant child.

"Then calm yourself," Charlie said.

Bella's doctor chose then to enter the room. At least, I assumed it was Bella's doctor.

"Dr. Maximos, thank goodness. Can you please tell us what's going on?" Charlie pleaded.

"Miss Swan, as you know, you were having contractions, but we were able to stop them," he started.

I interrupted because what he called her pissed me the fuck off.

"It's _Cullen_, her name is Mrs. _Cullen_," I snapped at her doctor.

He looked at Bella in confusion. Nice…she had fucking told him to call her by Swan.

"Edward, would you stop? This is ridiculous…" she stopped talking as she clutched her stomach.

Dr. Maximos checked everything and asked her how she was feeling.

"I'm fine. It wasn't bad pain that time."

He turned to glare at me. "Who are you? If you're going to upset my patient, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Please, no…I'll shut up. I'm the father."

He nodded and turned back to Bella.

"As I was saying, we were able to stop the contractions. But I think it's going to be necessary for you to be on bed rest for the duration of your pregnancy and also…no _stress_," he said. He looked directly at me when he said those last two words.

"Are you sure it's necessary for bed rest the entire time? My due date isn't until May 5th, Dr. Maximos," Bella said.

"Miss Swan, I'm sorry to say…but it's quite possible you could lose this baby. I know you and I have discussed how difficult things have been…but I assure you…I would not put you on that much bed rest if I were not absolutely certain it was necessary."

Bella rubbed her stomach tenderly and said, "Of course, I'll follow your instructions to the letter. I'll do anything to keep my baby safe."

I wished I were the one by her side comforting her.

Charlie then told Dr. Maximos, "It won't be a problem, doctor. Bells has a great support system at home and we'll make sure she does what she's supposed to."

"Absolutely," Riley added while picking up Bella's hand again.

I found myself taking deep, calming breaths. I really did not want to upset Bella anymore than I already had.

The doctor explained that they were going to keep Bella in the hospital until tomorrow for observation…just to be sure.

After the doctor left, Bella started dozing off while the rest of us sat there quietly. Charlie broke the silence, "I'm starving. I've been so worried I haven't eaten all day. Let's let Bella get some rest and head down to the cafeteria for a bite, shall we, Riley?"

Then he looked at me and said, "Edward…now that you know everything is alright…I think it's time you left."

I did not want to leave.

Riley started speaking before I had a chance to say anything, "Well, Charlie…why don't we let Edward stay here while we go get something to eat? That way…Bells isn't all alone if she wakes up while we're gone. He can leave right after."

What the fuck?

He had been flaunting how close he was to her since I got here and now he is trying to help me? Was this guy bipolar or something?

"You really think that's such a good idea, Riley?" Charlie questioned skeptically.

"Yeah, I mean he knows what will happen if he upsets her…so I think he can behave himself. Can't you, Edward?" He asked me.

"Yes, I _can_," I gritted.

I didn't want him to help me.

Charlie gave me a warning look and then they were gone from the room.

I took my place by her side in the chair that Riley had abandoned. I grasped Bella's hand in mine and watched her as she slept.

Her eyes fluttered open, "Where's my dad and Riley?"

"They went to get something to eat. Riley seems…_nice_," I said.

She had not removed her hand from mine.

"Edward…please don't. I'm so tired. Riley is just a friend. He knows I want nothing more than that from him. I've known you my whole life…and if I can't even keep you happy…how would I ever make someone new happy?" She was mumbling but I understood her every word.

Her eyes closed again and she was asleep once more.

Was that what she really thought?

Had I damaged her so much that she had this flawed view of herself?

I was truly a monster.

My eyes found her stomach and it made my heart hurt.

I wondered what it felt like to feel the baby move…I had missed _everything_. I did not deserve to be this innocent child's father.

As I kissed her hand and realized how truly fragile she looked right now…I knew what I had to do.

My moments of clarity lately were rare because of the drinking…but my current realization was this…

I didn't want Bella to lose our baby.

I had been putting undue stress on her and our child.

Bella felt even worse about herself because of the things I had done to her.

I loved her more than I ever had.

But if you truly love something, you need to be able to set it free.

It was then that my final realization hit me.

I loved her enough…to let her go.

The tears were pooling in my eyes as I let go of her hand and focused on her swollen belly where our child was. I placed my hands on her stomach and rubbed lightly.

As I kissed around her stomach gently, I spoke to my child for the first time. "Hi baby, it's _Daddy_. I have a few things to say and then I'll get out of here. I just want you to know that I love you and your mommy more than anything in this world. I know I have a funny way of showing it…but I swear that I do."

I choked back my sobs and continued, "You're not going to understand this…but it's for the best. I hope that you don't hate me…but if I were you…I would. I haven't treated your mommy very well and I'm sorry for that, little one. I need to go away…away from you and your mommy so I can't hurt either of you any longer. I have to let you go.

"I hope that one day, we will be able to be together…but that won't be possible until I can show your mommy that I am a better man. Please remember that we wanted you…so badly and no matter what you think…you were created out of love. I pray that one day I will be in your life and be the father you deserve…but until then…please keep your mommy safe and know that the two of you hold the key to my heart. I will make sure that your mom has all the money she needs to give you everything possible."

I placed one more kiss in the middle of her stomach, "I love you so much, my baby." I wiped the tears from my eyes and made my way up to Bella's forehead. "Bella, I will love you until the day I die. Please forgive me for everything even though I don't deserve it. I'll let you go now…you deserve to be _free_…and _happy_. I love you, sweetheart…and for what it's worth…I am so very sorry for all the hurt that I've caused you and our baby. I know I should have said it before now…but better late than never…right?

"You and our child will not have to worry about anything financially…I'm going to take care of everything. I want you to be happy.

"I'm sorry I'm a fucking coward for saying this to you while you are sleeping…but I know you feel that actions speak louder than words. I think letting you go is the best way to show you how truly _sorry_ I am."

As I placed my final kiss on her forehead, I softly rubbed her stomach one last time. I felt my hand being nudged and when I looked down, I could see my baby kicking Bella's stomach. There was nothing that could control the tears falling from me.

When we made promises of our future to one another at sixteen…not once did I think that would include cheating on the love of my life…drinking so much that it was out of control…or needing to walk away from my reasons for breathing.

_Why_ had I done this?

_**I**_ did this…it was all _**me**_.

This was _not_ Bella's fault…it was _mine_.

Fucking _**mine**_!

How the hell could I hurt her this way? What was _wrong_ with me?

I had to get out of here…if I did not leave now…I would never be able to walk away…and if I stayed…I would only destroy them.

I removed my hand from Bella's stomach and pressed the palms of my hands into my eyes to force the tears to stop.

I had to do this…I needed to make myself walk out of this damn room.

They deserved better than me.

I stood from the chair and turned to leave.

I was in shock to see Charlie standing there. If I did not know better, I would have sworn I saw him wipe a tear from his eye.

"You leaving?" He asked.

"Yes," I said and I left the room.

I passed Riley in the hallway.

"Leaving so soon?" He asked with that cocky smile of his.

I managed to keep my cool.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He scoffed and crossed his arms over his chest. "This should be good, what do you want, _Cullen_?" he sneered.

"I'm only going to say this once. If you _ever_…hurt her…or my child…I will make you wish you were never born." He rolled his eyes and laughed. "I'm dead fucking serious. I'm going home to sign the divorce papers. I'll have Mr. Jenks get them to you first thing tomorrow morning. She can have everything requested…in fact she can have _all_ of it. I don't care…I'm not contesting anything anymore."

He stood there looking smug as I turned away from him and headed out of the hospital.

It was time to go home.

I would do as I promised.

Sign the papers.

Call Jenks and have him get them to Riley's office first thing tomorrow.

Then it was going to be my old pal, JD and me…drinking ourselves into oblivion.

That was all I had now…nothing else mattered.

No music was played in my car on the drive back to Seattle. It was me, alone with my thoughts…which was never a good thing these days.

I was a total fuck up, I did the best thing I could for my child and for Bella…I let them _go_.

They deserved to be happy and they would never find that happiness with me.

I knew that now.

On the way home, I decided to stop at a church where I knew they held AA meetings. I could not bring myself to go in.

I met a guy while I sat outside on the steps…he was going to help me but he told me I wasn't ready yet.

He was right…in my mind…I still didn't see my drinking as a problem.

Yes…I had lost _everything_…but it still was not a _problem_…I could stop whenever I _wanted_.

In my mind, the answer was simple…I just did not _want_ to stop.

When I made it home, I signed the divorce papers as I started on my first drink since the night before.

That was that.

Bella had already signed…as soon as everything was filed…Bella would officially no longer be my wife.

As I sat back on the couch with my drink in my hand, I closed my eyes and thought back to better times in my life.

I wanted to escape to that world…where things were good and pure…so I let the alcohol take me there.

_**A/N…Okay SO I am sure you guys have many thoughts after that one.**_

_**Reviewers will get their teaser of Chapter 19 in BPOV…we'll see what's going on with her and what she thinks about all of this.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing and teacher1209 for pre-reading! You ladies rock!**_

**__****_Some of you have been asking for a playlist. Thanks to my awesome beta dolphin62598 I have discovered www(dot)playlist(dot)com_**

**_Here is the playlist for this story and I will be adding some for my other stories too._**

**_http:/www(dot)playlist(dot)com/playlist/20537251851_**

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Amie__** by **__headbandfreak_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5894773/19/Amie**_


	20. All I Needed Was My Baby

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…SURPRISE! Today is my birthday and one of the best presents is that I have the greatest most awesome readers a girl could ask for! SO in honor of today and the fact that you guys are AMAZING, I am giving you this extra chapter. Enjoy and we will hear from E on Wednesday, our regularly scheduled day. **_

_**Song I listened to on repeat while writing this chapter:**_

_Let it Rain__** by **__Kris Allen_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=F1_9XCd6Htk**_

Chapter 19

BPOV

_**Sunday February 15, 2009: Age 25**_

_I looked down at the positive pregnancy test in my hands. I could not wait for Edward to get home so I could tell him. _

_I wasn't sure how I was going to give him our wonderful news. We had waited so long and I wanted to tell him in a special way._

_However, my excitement got the best of me and as soon as he walked through the door, I screamed, "WE'RE PREGNANT!"_

"_Baby, are you serious? Don't kid around with me right now!"_

_Tears were streaming down my face as I showed him the test. _

"_Oh my god! This is amazing…you're amazing!" _

_He picked me up and spun me around the room. That did not sit well with our baby or me so he put me down quickly on the couch. _

_Suddenly, I wasn't on the couch in our house any longer. I was back at the hospital in the labor and delivery room. _

_Edward was sitting next to me in the bed and we were both peering down at our little one with nothing but love and devotion. _

"_Our baby is perfect," Edward whispered as he pressed his lips to my forehead._

_The scene changed again and I was looking into a hospital room where Edward was in a hospital bed with Lauren…looking down at _their_ baby._

_I felt a gentle hand touch my shoulder. I turned and saw a woman walking down the hallway of the hospital. From behind, she looked like my mom…but that wasn't possible._

"_Mom! Is that you? Wait!" I called out to the woman._

_I found her sitting in the waiting room. I knew it was my mom as she looked up at me with the gentle smile she always showed me when I was hurt or upset._

_She patted the seat next to her. "Come sit with me, Tink."_

_Mom always called me Tink because she put me in ballet when I was little. I was horrible at it but she always said that when I was dressed up in my tutu I looked just like Tinkerbell. _

"_Mom, how are you here? You're…de…gone," I said as the tears started._

"_Oh Tink, honey, this is just a dream…you're dreaming. Apparently, you needed me so here I am in your dream."_

_She wrapped her arm around me and held me close while I cried._

"_I don't know what I'm doing Mom. I love Edward but he hurt me so badly. It's really over between us. What am I going to do? How am I going to be a mom? You're not here to tell me how to do this. I'm so afraid I'm going to screw up my baby. This isn't how it was supposed to be! You're supposed to be here! Edward and I are supposed to be together and loving our baby. I had this vision of how we would celebrate after telling him about our baby…and then the day our baby arrived…it's never going to be like that for me…things are such a mess."_

_Mom placed her lips gently to my forehead before speaking, "Tink, everything is going to be fine. It will work out the way it's supposed to…you have my word on that."_

_I was mad at her for a minute._

"_Are you saying Edward was supposed to cheat on me? How can you say that, Mom?"_

"_That's not what I meant, sweetheart. Why do you always jump to conclusions? Tink, all I mean is that everything is going to be all right. Everything that has happened will make you a stronger woman. You will be an amazing mother…with or without Edward…and you surely don't need me. Listen to your heart baby and you will be fine."_

"_But, Mom…nothing is fine…my life wasn't supposed to be this way…"_

"_Tink, haven't you realized yet? Things rarely turn out the way that we think they will. Just because things don't go as we have planned…doesn't mean they still won't turn out okay. Sometimes…things end up even better than they were before."_

"_I don't see how that's possible, Mom."_

"_You will, Tink, you will. I have to go now. I love you…tell your father I still love him with all my heart…and that he needs to go on a date every now and then."_

My eyes opened and saw Edward sitting in the chair beside my bed…holding my hand. I didn't have the energy to pull it away…plus it felt _nice_.

I was still extremely tired and somewhat out of it. He started to talk to me about Riley…and I mumbled something about Riley being _only_ my friend because if I could not keep my best friend of twenty years happy…there was no way I could keep someone else happy.

Sleep consumed me once more.

_I could hear Edward's voice but I could not find him. _

_My ears strained to hear everything he was saying…but it was as if he were in a tunnel._

"_Hi baby, it's Daddy…I love you and your mommy more than anything in this world… I hope that you don't hate me… I haven't treated your mommy very well and I'm sorry for that, little one… Please forgive me for everything even though I don't deserve it. I'll let you go now…you deserve to be free…and happy. I love you, sweetheart…and for what it's worth…I am so very sorry for all the hurt that I've caused you and our baby."_

_Everything sounded jumbled…and I knew I wasn't hearing everything._

_Why couldn't I see him?_

_Where was he?_

_Then there was silence._

My eyes opened and I saw my father dozing off in the chair next to me.

Of course, it was all a _dream_.

I remembered everything…my dreams about how I wished things were between Edward and me…talking to my mom…and finally hearing Edward's voice.

The things he said in my dream…I wanted them to be true. I wished with all of my heart that he had actually said them.

If he had said something like that to me for real, I would know that there might be some _hope_ for him…at least to be a father to our baby.

I turned to look at my dad. He was still a handsome man and I thought back to what Mom had said in my dream. There was a nurse here at the hospital, Sue Clearwater who had been making googly eyes at him since I had been here.

I smiled as I thought about setting them up.

Speak of the devil, Sue chose that moment to walk into my room. "What has that huge smile on your face, Bella?" She asked.

"Oh, nothing…just thinking. So tell me Sue, are you single?"

"Actually, I am…my husband passed away three years ago."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything," I told her.

"No, it's fine, Bella…it was awhile ago. I miss him…he was a good man…but life goes on. That's what he would want."

I nodded.

"My shift is over soon so I just wanted to check on you and make sure you're set for the night. Tell your dad I said bye, would ya?" She said while smiling.

"Of course, thanks for everything Sue. You've been great."

She patted my arm and said, "If I don't see you tomorrow…take care of that baby."

With that, she left my room.

Dad opened one eye looking at me slyly showing that he had been awake through my exchange with Sue. "Is she gone?" he whispered.

"Yes, are you avoiding her?" I laughed at him.

"Hey, she's creeping me out. She looks at me as if I'm something to eat. I'm not a hunk of man meat you know. I'm a person…with feelings. I don't want to be used just for my body," he said in a goofy voice.

Before I knew it, I was laughing…a full-blown…deep…hearty laugh. I had not laughed that hard in forever.

"You're unbelievable Dad. Would you go out with her?" I asked him.

"Bells, I'm not going to date anyone…not right now. I'm not ready and you need me, Tink."

"_Tink_? Why did you just call me Tink?"

Mom was the only one who ever called me that…and I thought it was odd for him to do it right after I had that dream about Mom.

He shrugged, "I'm not really sure…it just came out. I guess it makes me feel close to your mom. Does it bother you?"

"Not at all, I liked it," I replied. "And for the record, Mom's been gone for almost seven years…she would want you to move on with your life. I think you should definitely go out with Sue. You just need to show her there's more to you than being a hunky piece of man meat," I chuckled.

"Hey, no laughing at your old man," he said.

"Where's Riley?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. He stopped to go to the bathroom after we ate and he hasn't been back yet. He probably got a call or something dealing with work. You know how busy lawyers are."

I nodded. I knew Riley was always busy. He constantly had to take phone calls and leave unexpectedly because of his job.

I was a little irritated with him for his display earlier when Edward was in the room. I knew what he was doing…he was trying to get a rise out of my husband.

Yes…Edward deserved to be jealous…but a pissing contest between the two of them was the last thing I needed.

It was quiet in the room before Charlie started speaking again. "Bells, I need to talk to you…about…Edward."

"What about him Dad?"

Why would he want to talk to me about Edward? I thought everything had already been said.

"There's something that I think you should know…earlier when you were sleeping…"

Riley bounded into the room with excitement and interrupted him.

"Bella! I have great news! Edward is signing the papers!"

"_What_?" Charlie and I both asked in shock.

"That's what took me so long. I passed Edward as he was leaving and he told me that he was going home to sign the papers…and Bells, he's giving you everything you want. He's not contesting anything anymore."

For some reason, I thought that would make me happier than it was.

Why did it feel so bittersweet? This was what I wanted…wasn't it? To be rid of Edward…his cheating…his lies…his hurtful words.

For some reason…I just felt _empty_…he gave up on us. All the time we spent trying to get pregnant and he did not even want us.

"That's great!" I said trying to sound excited.

I should be feeling happy…and maybe I would by tomorrow…but right now…I felt immensely sad that before long…I would no longer be…Mrs. Edward Cullen…and my baby did not have a father.

_**Monday February 16, 2009: Age 25**_

Today I was released from the hospital to head home and begin my bed rest.

Despite Charlie's reluctance at going on a date with Sue, I left his phone number with one of the other nurses, instructing them to give it to her.

He deserved a little happiness and companionship that did not revolve around his pregnant daughter.

One of us should have a good love life.

Dad had gotten me settled upstairs in my room and told me that Riley was coming by for dinner to show me the signed divorce papers.

He had gone by the house personally this morning to pick them up from Edward. They were signed as he promised.

I felt better about it today because I knew I needed this fresh start without my cheating husband. We needed to go our separate ways and find out who we were without one another.

This would be good for all three of us…my child did not need to be around an alcoholic with anger issues.

Today, I could see this as the blessing that it was.

We had it put in the papers that Edward needed to pay child support but he was only going to be allowed supervised visitations with the baby…until he could get his life under control…and he could only see the baby if he were sober.

It concerned me that he was still drinking too much to hold down a job or even care to find one. But, I knew he would never slack on paying his child support. Besides, the accounts were going to be unfrozen immediately and then we would both have access to our money again.

As much as I did not want to depend on his money, I knew that it was a necessity right now and I needed to think about my baby.

Once the accounts were unfrozen, Victoria had arranged for Edward to deposit my half into a separate account under my name only.

Money would no longer be an issue…but I still had to contend with being a single mother.

Although, I had a feeling Riley wanted to do something to change that.

My feelings were unsure about that particular topic.

I knew that right now all I wanted from him was friendship…however…would anything _more_ than that every be possible with him?

I was hoping that things would not be awkward with Riley tonight. He tried to kiss me last night at the hospital and I turned him down.

_**Flashback**_

_**Dad had gone to get some coffee for Riley and him. **_

_**He was explaining to me how happy he was that the divorce was going to be final with Edward. He mentioned that he hoped that would mean I would finally go on a proper date with him.**_

_**I reminded him that I was on bed rest until the baby was born.**_

"_**That's okay, we can just have dinner and movie dates in your room until you have the baby. Then you can go out with me for real."**_

_**Before I could say anything, he had moved to sitting beside me in the bed and was pressing his lips to mine. **_

_**At first, I thought it was a friendly kiss but then I felt his tongue begging for entrance and I immediately pulled away.**_

"_**What are you doing?" I questioned him.**_

"_**I'm sorry…I just really wanted to kiss you Bella. I'm crazy about you," he said softly.**_

_**I hated to hurt him…but I was not ready for this…not now. I honestly did not know if I would ever be…but definitely not now.**_

_**Especially while I was pregnant…with Edward's baby…that did not feel right at all.**_

"_**Riley, I'm sorry…I can't do that right now. I really like you…and I care about you so much. You've been amazing to me! But…I don't want to start anything like that with you…not right now…not while I'm pregnant with someone else's child. It feels weird to do that…please tell me you understand and you don't hate me."**_

_**He kissed my forehead and said, "Of course, I don't. I could never hate you sweets. I care for you deeply…and I've told you before…I'm very patient…and persistent. I'll show you that I can treat you right…and when the time is right…you'll know. I'm sorry I overstepped my boundaries. You are just so beautiful and amazing. I could get lost in your eyes. I want you to know what it is truly like to be loved."**_

_**Things felt weird for me last night before he left the hospital but Riley acted as if he were fine.**_

_**End Flashback**_

I was pleased to find that nothing felt awkward with Riley at all when he arrived. He brought pizza for all of us and we sat in my room to eat while we watched reruns of _Friends_.

It was a nice night and when Charlie excused himself to turn in for the night, Riley sat on the edge of my bed and showed me the signed divorce papers.

It felt surreal…he was taking them to be filed tomorrow and that would be that.

I was officially once again Bella Swan.

_**Tuesday February 24, 2009: Age 25**_

Becoming Bella Swan again was not as easy as one would think…especially while confined to your bed.

Alice, Rose and Esme were coming over today to visit with me. They were also bringing me some of my things that I still had not gotten from the house.

Ali had told me that Edward was not taking calls from _anyone_…then one day he called her and she missed it. He left her a message saying he was leaving the key under the mat on the porch and asked if she and Jasper would deal with selling the house.

In the divorce papers, he agreed to selling the house and giving me half of the proceeds.

But he told Alice in the message that he was giving me all of the money because he did not want any of it.

Edward and I would have to deal with signing the final paperwork, but Ali and Jasper were taking care of the rest. He told them to get rid of everything in the house that I did not want.

Alice told me that when they went to the house, it appeared that all he had taken were photo albums and clothes.

I told them all I wanted were the things that belonged to me and they were amazing enough to get everything boxed up for me. They were bringing it by today. Carlisle, Esme, Emmett and Rose went over there this past weekend and helped them clean up the place. They were going to leave all of the furnishings so we could get more for the house.

No one knew where Edward was…but they figured he had gotten an apartment or hotel somewhere in Seattle.

I tried not to concern myself with where he was or what he was doing…for the sake of my baby…but I hoped that wherever he was…he was getting some help for his problems and that he was happy.

Over the last few days, I really did not have much to do besides watch movies or television shows…and be alone with my thoughts.

The thinking led me to my latest revelation.

I was going to continue with my book. It was going to include my total experience including the cheating husband and finally becoming pregnant.

Maybe it would be published and maybe it wouldn't…but I was going to give it a shot. Mom was right…I was going to follow my heart and my heart told me to write this book.

I had pretty much scrapped everything I had already written and I was starting completely over from the beginning.

There was a knock on my door and then I heard Rose's voice, "Did someone call for a delivery of sexy bitches to their room?"

"Rose! Get your cute butts in here!" I laughed.

It was so good to see them. Rose, Esme and Ali surrounded me on the bed.

I noticed a large gift bag that Alice had in her hand.

"Alice, what's that?"

"Um…it's for you Bells. The first night Jasper and I went to the house to start cleaning…we found it. Edward left it for you."

"Oh," I said quietly.

"Do you want us to leave you alone while you open it?" Rose asked.

I shook my head no. "Just put it on my nightstand. You just got here and I want to talk to you guys and catch up. I'll open it after you leave."

Charlie must have told them about my Caesar salad with grilled chicken cravings because they brought that for lunch for all of us along with Esme's cheesy garlic bread. She knew that I loved it when she made that.

The four of us had lunch in my room and caught up on everything going on in all of our lives. We did not discuss Edward at all and I was thankful for that.

Rose said that Emmett had forgiven her for keeping Edward's cheating from him. He told her he probably would have done the same thing if it had been Jasper…because it would be Jasper's place to tell _his_ sister…not Emmett's.

Things were well with Alice and Jasper, as usual. Ali confided in us that Jasper told her he wanted her to go off the pill and start trying to get pregnant. Unfortunately, given what happened between Edward and me…Alice was terrified that she will not get pregnant right away and they will fall into the same issues that we did.

I told her that she and Jasper are completely different from us. Esme and Rose told her not to let our situation keep them from starting their family. She said she was still thinking about it but she would probably be willing to try it soon.

Esme said that Carlisle had moved back home. She said they were still going to counseling once a week and she felt that their relationship was better than ever. They were now working through their feelings and issues in regards to how they had coddled Edward. They felt responsible for everything that happened between us.

I tried to tell her that it was between Edward and me…but a part of me did wonder how different things would have been if Edward had not been spoiled his entire life.

They wanted to have family counseling sessions but Emmett refused to be in the same room with Carlisle or Edward still and with Edward missing in action, they did not see that happening anytime soon.

They questioned me about Riley and I told them he was just my friend.

It seemed to please them that I said that since they agreed with me that it was too soon for something like that. All I wanted to do was focus on my little one for the time being.

When I told them about my book, they were thrilled for me. They all thought it was an excellent idea and were positive that I would be able to get it published.

I explained to them that these things take time and even if it was good, there was no guarantee that someone would want to publish it.

Esme placed her hand over mine and said, "Sweetheart, it will happen. I just know it."

That was why I loved her…she supported me and stood by me no matter what.

After they all left, I was alone for a bit until Dad would be home from work.

I decided it was time to open the present from Edward.

When I removed the first layer of tissue paper, I saw a folded up piece of paper.

It was a note…from Edward.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to read it.

_Bella,_

_I know that it's over between us and I don't know what's going to happen as far as the baby is concerned…but I do hope you will keep these things for our child…even if I'm not able to be in his or her life. The baby book…I'm not sure if you had one yet or not and I tried to pick one out that could be for a boy or a girl. The night light...as you know…I had to sleep with a night light until I was practically in junior high. It crossed my mind, that our baby might need some comfort like that as well. The baby blanket…this belonged to me. I know it says Edward…and it's my birth date…and it's blue and white for a boy…and I don't know if our baby is a boy or a girl…but I would like to know that my child still has a piece of me…even if I'm not there. Could you please let our baby use this blanket Bella? I know I have no right to ask anything of you…but I hope that you will use it. Keep our baby safe and warm in this blanket and I hope it will be the next best thing to having my arms wrapped around him or her. I also thought that perhaps you could personalize the other side with our baby's name and birth date if you wanted. It's just a thought. Take care, Bells. You were born to be a mother and you will be amazing._

_Love,_

_Edward_

Tears were steadily streaming down my face as I began pulling the items out of the bag. I pulled out the blanket first. It was white with blue trimming and had Edward with his birth date stitched right under it on the front of the blanket. I could take the blanket and have Charlie or Charley stitched on it with his or her birthday.

Yes, I would definitely do that.

Next, I pulled out the night light. It was a stuffed turtle with a plastic back and the night light came up through the top and projected onto the ceiling. It would make it look like our baby was sleeping under the stars. It was perfect.

Finally, I pulled out the baby book.

It was exactly what I would have chosen.

It was a baby blue and peach color…perfect for either a boy or a girl. There was a square in the center to place the baby's picture in and underneath that, it said, "Once upon a time."

I didn't know what was going to happen…if Edward was going to be fit to be in our baby's life…or if he would completely be an absentee father who only sent a check each month because he could not pull himself together enough to be around our child.

One thing was certain though…Edward loved this baby and my mom was right. Everything was going to be okay.

At the end of the day, I had my dad and my baby.

That was all that I really needed.

_**A/N…Reviewers will get their teaser of the next chapter, which will be in EPOV, AND another something most of you have been waiting for will be happening in that chapter…**_

_**I might not get the teasers out as fast as normal because I am going out with my son for my birthday, I will be sending them out as much as possible today and then the rest will go out tomorrow. **_

_**Thanks so much to dolphin62598 for editing these babies so quickly and being my rock. Also thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading for me all the time.**_

_**There are pictures up from this chapter and you can see them here:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Also don't forget about the playlist for this story, which is now up:**_

_**http:/www(dot)playlist(dot)com/playlist/20537251851**_

_**Last but not least:**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**This story is so, so, so good! MORE people need to be reading. If you are not reading…RUN to go read it now!**_

_Simmer Steam Sizzle__** by **__TaraBear029_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5597499/6/Simmer_Steam_Sizzle**_

**oHo**


	21. Finding Clarity

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…SURPRISE! You can all go over to the thread on Twilighted and thank the ladies there for this extra update. They seem to be masters of persuasion. **_

_**Song for this chapter:**_

_Sober__** by **__Kelly Clarkson_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=XKnbnmSsmKQ**_

_**E is not sober just yet…BUT he will be! **_

Chapter 20

EPOV

_**Tuesday March 3, 2009: Age 25**_

_She kissed her way down from my neck slowly moving towards my chest. She was driving me crazy._

_We were in the backseat of my car and I still had two hours before she had to be home. You could say that we were making good use of our time._

_Bella and I had been having sex for a little over a year. Well…it wasn't just sex. We always made love…just sometimes were gentle and sometimes we were so caught up in the passion that we were not so gentle with each other._

_We were seventeen, in love and sometimes we could not help ourselves._

_Kind of like tonight._

_She had on this tight ass jean skirt and she had been making me horny all day. I had no choice but to pull over to a secluded spot on the road on our way home from our date…which led us to where we were now._

_I pulled her up to me and kissed her because I could not wait any longer._

_She pulled back a little. "What are you doing…don't you want to feel my mouth…down here?" Her hand rubbed my cock through my jeans as she said that._

_God I loved her._

"_And where would that be baby? What's down there exactly?" I asked her while smirking._

_We had just started talking dirty with each other and she was a little more shy about it than I was._

"_Your _cock_…don't you want my mouth on your _cock_?" She breathed into my ear. _

_Oh fuck she was killing me. I couldn't take any more._

_I pulled her skirt up and ripped her panties. Bella giggled and said, "Edward, damn it! That's the third pair this week! I liked those."_

"_Then you shouldn't tease and tempt me, love."_

_She started unbuttoning my jeans in a hurry and I lifted my hips up off the seat so she could push them down far enough to get my cock out._

_Once we had enough clothing moved around to make it work, she lifted her tiny body up enough to impale herself on my shaft._

"_Fuck!" We both cried out as we pressed our foreheads together._

_At first we didn't move, we just stared into each other's eyes. I pressed my lips to hers and we started to move together._

"_Mmm…you feel so good Edward," she said to me._

"_I know baby, I know. I can never get enough of you," I told her._

_That was a great night. When we were finished, we held each other and talked about our future…which led to round two….which led to Bella being late._

_I walked her in and Charlie was furious. I came up with a lie on the spot telling him that I wasn't paying attention to the gas gauge and we ran out. I explained that we were late because we had to walk to get gas._

_He was not buying it._

"_Really? You ran out of gas? Do you think I was born yesterday? You two reek of sex! It's nice that you think enough of my daughter to bang her in the backseat of your car, Cullen!" Charlie seethed._

"_Dad! Stop it! You have no idea what you're talking about!" Bella yelled at him._

"_Are you going to lie to my face and tell me you two weren't off having sex?" Charlie questioned her._

"_So what if we were? We love each other Daddy! If we want to express our love that way, it's none of your business! And if I want to have sex with my boyfriend in the backseat of his car…you don't have a say in the matter!" She screamed._

_What the fuck was she doing? Was she trying to get me killed? Had she forgotten that her father carried a goddamn gun?_

_Charlie's face was beet red. Renee was trying to calm him down quickly._

"_Go to your room, Bella! You are grounded indefinitely. Cullen, get your ass home! Oh and I will be calling your parents as soon as you walk out that door. Enjoy your night," he said sarcastically._

_Bella stomped up to her room and I turned to leave knowing that nothing I said would make things right with Charlie Swan right now._

_As soon as I got out to my car, my phone started ringing._

_Bella._

"_Baby are you alright?" I said as I answered._

_I could hear her sobbing._

"_No I'm not. I'm sorry I ratted us out Edward. He just made me so mad! He can't keep me from you, Edward…I swear. We'll run away together if we have to."_

"_Calm down sweetheart, I don't think it will come to that. Charlie is pissed right now but he'll calm down. You pretty much confirmed every father's worst nightmare…his baby girl has been deflowered and she's growing up right before his eyes."_

"_Are you going to be in trouble?" She cried._

"_Yeah, I think so this time but everything will be okay, Bella. I won't let anyone keep me from you either. You're my life, you know that. I love you, baby."_

"_I love you too, Edward…always…nothing could ever make me stop loving you."_

"_That's good to hear," I said breathing a sigh of relief. Bella loved her dad and valued his opinion and since we became an actual couple…he has not liked me very much._

"_I'm going to go insane if he keeps me grounded for long, Edward. I need you…we'll have to figure out a way to sneak around. I can't be without you. My body aches if I have to go too long without you inside me," she said in a whisper._

"_God, Bells…you can't say shit like that to me while I'm trying to drive," I chuckled._

"_Sorry," she giggled. Our conversation was cut short when I heard Charlie's voice._

"_Jesus Bella! Do you not understand the concept of being grounded? Give me that damn phone!"_

_The line was dead after that._

_When I got home, both parents were waiting up for me on the couch._

_It was really weird too because…I didn't get punished at all. They told me I should not have kept Bella out so late and wanted to know if we were being safe when we had sex._

_That was it._

_Were they seriously not going to punish me…at all?_

_Last year, before Emmett went off to college, they caught him sneaking Rose into his room. He was grounded for two months and lost his car privileges. _

_He was angry with them and I remember hearing them in the dining room._

"_Emmett, you can't behave like this. That girl is someone's daughter. You two are so young…do you want to get her pregnant? I don't think either of you would be ready for that. You have to have consequences for this. We are only doing this because we love you. You'll thank us one day for slowing you and Rose down."_

_I always wondered why my brother and sister had to have consequences but I never did. Was it because I was better than them? Or did my parents just not give a shit about me enough to bother with disciplining me?_

_Then, just last month, Mom found a pregnancy test in Alice's bathroom. It was negative and she was not pregnant but it led to our parents finding out that she was sexually active with Jasper. _

_The shit hit the fan._

_She was still grounded and Jasper was not allowed over right now._

_But Mom and Dad told me that Bella could come over any time as soon as she's ungrounded and for us to keep being safe._

_What the fuck was that?_

_People always say that parents punish you because they care. Did my parents not give a fuck about me? Sure, I always got what I wanted and they made sure I was always happy…but why didn't they punish me for anything?_

_I could not dwell on that. I was pissed that Charlie was going to try to keep me from Bella so I went to my room and drowned my sorrows in a bottle of Jack Daniels that I swiped from Mike Newton's house. He had a party last week that Bella and I attended. This bottle of JD was just sitting in his dad's liquor cabinet unattended. Mike probably got in trouble for it going missing…I didn't give a fuck._

_Apparently, my parents could not have cared less about what I did. If they did not care about me, why the fuck should I care about myself?_

_My siblings were fucking jealous of me. Emmett and I always fought...Alice and I were close usually...unless she was in trouble. When she was in trouble, she would be angry with me because I never got in trouble._

_I really had no one I could count on besides Bella._

_She was the only person who I felt truly loved me_

_And fucking Charlie was going to try to take her away from me._

_I just hoped he realized…the more he kept us apart…the more he would alienate his daughter. I was her world and she was mine…and we were getting married as soon as we fucking could and there was not a goddamn thing he could do about it._

_All I could think about as I sat on the edge of my bed with the bottle in my hand was how much I was hurting…and how much I wanted the pain to just go away._

_That night was the first night I drank to push away what I was feeling. _

_I didn't do it frequently until Bella left me…but if I looked back at my life carefully, I could see a pattern that whenever I really needed to feel numb, I would have a drink…or two….or three. _

I bolted upright from my spot on the air mattress and took in my surroundings.

Fucking dream…well…_memory_. I had a different one just about every night after I drank enough to pass out.

Letting Bella and my baby go was the hardest thing I had ever done.

So far, I had done absolutely _nothing_…to make myself better…for _either_ of my children.

It hurt my heart too much to be sober enough to do anything that I needed to do in order to become a better man. I had it all…and I fucking threw it all away because in my spoiled, fucked up mind, my wife mistreated me so I went and fucked someone else.

Remembering the dream I had about my past with Bella…made me even more furious with myself. Bella always was and always would be my everything. It was supposed to be Edward and Bella against the world. Why the hell did I ruin it?

My mind was drifing to thoughts about the church I had stopped at on the way home from the hospital. It was a church in Seattle that I knew held AA meetings.

I could not go in…I just sat out on the fucking steps like the coward I was. A guy sat down beside me and started talking to me.

_**Flashback**_

_**People were leaving the church…but I could not bring myself to look at any of them. They all had drinking problems…they were…alcoholics. I was not…I didn't even know why I came here.**_

_**I…did…not…have…a…problem…right?**_

_**I felt the presence of someone standing over me.**_

"_**Hey man, how's it goin?" He asked as he sat down beside me.**_

_**I looked at him incredulously.**_

"_**I'm sitting on the steps of a church that holds AA meetings…how the fuck do you think I'm doing?" I snapped at him.**_

_**He laughed at me and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. He offered me one as he was lighting up and I told him no thanks.**_

"_**It takes the edge off from needing that drink," he replied.**_

"_**Do you…drink a lot?" I asked him.**_

"_**Yep, wouldn't be here if I didn't. But I haven't had a drop in two years."**_

"_**Wow, that's awesome. How…did you do it?"**_

"_**I lost everything. My wife left me and took our kids with her. The only way I was allowed to see them was if I got sober. I missed my boys…so…I did what I had to do."**_

_**I nodded.**_

_**I had already lost everything…why was I still being a fucking coward about this. I needed to give up alcohol…all together. It was the only way that Bella would ever let me be in our baby's life.**_

_**The man stood up after stubbing out his cigarette.**_

"_**Well, I guess you're not ready yet. Can I see your cell phone?" He asked.**_

_**Why did he want that?**_

_**For some reason though, I did not question him. I handed him my phone and he punched in some numbers and then handed it back to me. **_

"_**Call me when you're ready. Day or night…it doesn't matter. The name's James by the way."**_

"_**Thanks James. I'm Edward," I told him.**_

_**He nodded and then he was gone. **_

_**End Flashback**_

The beeping of my phone interrupted my thoughts. It was alerting me that I had voicemails.

It was probably my family. I had stopped talking to anyone. I knew I would have to talk to Alice when the house was sold in order to sign the paperwork but until then, I did not want to talk to anyone.

I just wanted to be left alone in my misery.

When I listened to my messages, I discovered that they were all from Lauren.

She had the baby…last night…a _girl_.

I was fucking passed out drunk when she was born.

What kind of father does not even _try_ to be their when their child is born?

I rubbed my hands over my face and decided to pull myself together enough to go to the hospital and see the baby.

When I arrived at the hospital, I went right to Lauren's room.

"Edward! You're finally here! I can't believe you missed it…but that's okay. Come meet your daughter."

She was holding a baby wrapped in a pink blanket.

I walked towards the bed and let Lauren place the bundle in my arms.

As I looked down at the innocent child, I realized…I felt…absolutely _nothing_.

Wasn't there supposed to be some sort of instant connection? Shouldn't I have felt _something_ for this baby that was supposed to be _mine_?

Was I that much of a bastard that I could not even love my own baby?

"Her name is Rachel. Rachel Michelle Cullen. Isn't she beautiful?" Lauren beamed.

"_Rachel_," I replied.

She was cute…but I saw nothing of myself in her…she did not have one single trait of mine that I could find.

Her eyes were crystal blue and the hair that she had was light blonde with absolutely no tints of my bronze colored hair at all.

I always figured my child would have some sort of reddish tint to their hair because Alice, Emmett and I all had it. We got it from our mom.

This was really overwhelming and disappointing. I desperately needed an excuse to get away from Lauren.

Thankfully, Lauren expressed how tired she was and that she thought Rachel should go to the nursery for a little bit.

The nurse came in to take the baby and I told Lauren that I was going to go with them so that I could spend more time with Rachel.

I thought it would be a good opportunity to attempt to bond with her.

"Your daughter is a cutie," the nurse told me.

"Yeah…um…thanks," I told her.

It made me uneasy hearing her referred to me as my daughter.

I did not feel that way about her and it was tearing me up inside. She did not ask for this situation…didn't ask for me to be her father.

How could I not love my own child? I hated to think that way…but I did not. I felt absolutely _no_ love for this child.

I knew that mothers bond with their babies because they carry them for nine months. I never spoke to Rachel while she was still inside of Lauren or made any effort to bond with her.

Was that why I could feel absolutely no connection to her?

I've heard guys say that they instantly felt connected to their children when they were born. Even my father said that.

He said as soon as he held each one of us; he was overwhelmed with this sense of love and completeness. Dad said that the first time a father holds his child is this wonderful moment where you feel this protectiveness and a sense of home. Everything is right with the world.

I did not feel anything like that when holding her.

It just felt like holding any other baby.

A baby that was not _mine_.

Was Jasper right?

Had Lauren been lying to me from the beginning?

I had not been gone from Lauren's room very long, but I decided to head back anyway because I needed some fucking answers. That kid looked _nothing_ like me! I knew that kids did not always look like both of their parents…but usually you can find _something_ in them from each parent.

Rachel had absolutely nothing of me and I could not let that go.

My heart and my head were both in agreement…they were screaming at me that Rachel was _not_ my daughter.

As I got closer to Lauren's room, I could hear her voice. It was raised a bit and the door to her room was mostly closed with the door cracked open only a little.

"I called him just like you said! It's not my fault he didn't show up! No…no…he has no reason to…_please_ calm down. Everything will be fine…please stop yelling at me! Thank you. She's great…she looks just like her _daddy_," she giggled.

What the fuck?

Who was she talking to? Who told her to call me and why would she tell them the baby looks just like me? She looked _nothing_ like me!

I decided to make my presence known as I pushed the door open roughly. By the look on Lauren's face, she could tell I was furious.

"Um…_Mom_…I'll call you back later," she said quickly and closed her phone.

Mom?

"That was your _mom_?"

She nodded.

_I call bullshit sweetheart._

"Why did you tell her that you called me like you were told to?" I questioned.

"My mom told me that I needed to call you and get you here for the birth of our daughter…I kept telling her that I didn't want to…bother you. But she wouldn't take no for an answer. She's always very critical of me. She's not happy that I got knocked up by a married man and she thinks you are a loser for not being here for me throughout the pregnancy."

Yeah…for some reason…I was not buying that.

"Why did you tell her she looks like her dad? She looks nothing like me, Lauren! Care to tell me why that is?" I yelled at her.

She started crying uncontrollably as she always did when she wanted to get out of something or make someone feel bad. Her tears always seemed so fake…why hadn't I noticed that before now?

"Well, I didn't want to tell her that I see none of her father in her! I didn't want to tell her that her father hates her! I know that you hate her! I could see it in your face when you held her! You resent her because she's not your precious Bella's! You hate me so you can't find it in your heart to love your innocent daughter! These are not things I wished to share with my mother when she already hates you as it is. She was upset enough that she couldn't get a flight from New York to get here in time to be with me since Rachel's father is a deadbeat dad!"

It all still seemed fake to me. The words she said…felt _rehearsed_…as if she were telling a story.

I had to get out of there.

I made an excuse to leave and I told her we would discuss the custody of Rachel later. I wanted to appease her and make her think that I still believed that child was mine.

After I left her room, I found her doctor and told him that I wanted a DNA test completed on Rachel…as soon as possible.

There was no way she was mine…I felt even more strongly about it after speaking with Lauren. That bitch had fucking played me and I fell for it like a goddamn idiot. Why didn't I make her get that fucking test? I could have spared Bella so much pain.

It was bad enough that I cheated but all this time she also thought that Lauren was carrying my child. I could only imagine what that did to her…because I knew if it were her who was carrying a child other than mine…it would surely kill me.

The pain in my chest would not go away…I needed to do something to remedy that.

Once I got back home to my lonely apartment, I started looking through photo albums and that led to opening a brand new bottle of JD.

I could have had everything I ever wanted right now, if I just would have kept my dick in my pants.

It did not matter anymore how Bella made me feel when she pushed me away. I missed her terribly.

The memories, the feelings I had at the hospital today, realizing that in my heart I knew I had been fucking played, being without Bella, everything came down on me all at the same time. I found myself drinking quicker than normal, which led to me throwing up sooner. I didn't even make it to the bathroom.

I was stumbling around trying to find something to clean with when there was a knock on my door.

As I opened the door, I looked directly into the eyes of my father. He looked worried at first, then relieved, and then straight to livid.

He pushed his way into the apartment and looked around. He shook his head as he noticed the lack of furnishings, the empty pizza boxes and the empty bottles of liquor.

While shaking his head, he said, "Are you fucking _stupid_? What is _wrong_ with you? You decided to let Bella go…finally doing the right thing…giving her space…we thought you would try to make yourself better so that you could win her back…or be in your child's life at least. But no…you cut yourself off from everyone and try to drink yourself to death! You smell like alcohol and vomit, son!"

"How did you fucking find me? If I wanted you guys to know where I was…I would have told you myself!" I screamed at him.

I was not going to listen to a lecture from _him _of all people.

"I have my ways…and how I found you is the least of your worries. You know, Edward…I realize that your mother and I spoiled you…that we handled things badly with you. I watched you become this cocky, arrogant, self-righteous, selfish prick, but I still loved you with all of my heart…because sometimes we would see the _real_ you…the sweet and selfless one. Why do let the alcohol control you? How long have you been drinking away your feelings? You need to get clean, Edward."

"I don't need any lectures from you, _Carlisle_. Em has the right idea...calling you by your first name. You're no goddamn father! I could have _died _and you would not have been there to even say goodbye! I don't have a fucking drinking problem! So I like to have a drink now and then…we can't all be a saint like Carlisle Cullen…oh but wait…you're not so perfect either are you? That's right…you couldn't keep your dick in your pants any more than I could!"

I was not going to stand there and be judged by my cheating father.

"Edward, your mother and I fucked up…I am man enough to admit that. We did wrong by you and I am very sorry for that. We both are. We want to make this right with you…you have always meant the world to us. I won't give up on my family. I know that we can be fixed…but you have to meet me halfway son. You need to get help."

"You won't give up on your _family_? You won't give up on _me_? Hunh, Dad? Is that what you're saying? Guess what? You can't give up on something you never had any fucking faith in to begin with! You and Mom never believed in me…apparently you never expected very much at all since you could not even take the time to fucking discipline me as you did the rest of your children!"

He was turning red in the face and I knew he really wanted to hit me…but he didn't.

Instead, he just shook his head, pulled something out of his pocket that looked like a picture and slammed it down on the bar. "This is my only copy...but your mother has one as well and right now...I think you need this more than I do," he said before turning from the bar to glare at me.

"You are a fucking _idiot_ if you think you are ever going to get your life back on track behaving this way! Do you know how I got your mother to come back to me? First, I apologized to her! Then I went to counseling with her and groveled at her feet. I have spent the rest of our days together making sure that she felt loved, cherished, safe and secure…and that she knew damn well she could trust me! Have you done _any_ of that for your wife?"

I could not answer him…but he already knew.

"I didn't think so! If you don't want to get sober or fix your issues for Bella...your family or even for yourself…perhaps you will do it for _that _person!" He nodded towards the bar and then stormed out of the apartment.

I walked to the bar hesitantly because I had a feeling I knew what was sitting on that bar.

When I looked down, I gasped. It was a picture of _my_ baby.

I did not even know that Bella had a 3-D ultrasound done. There was no doubt _this_ was my baby.

This baby had my cheekbones…my nose…the eyes were shaped like Bella's…oh God…what was I doing to myself?

I wanted to be in this baby's life so badly…and there was only one way for me to do it.

That picture broke me and I fell down to the floor, clutching it in my hands while sobbing. I fished my phone out of my pocket and pulled up the number I was looking for.

"_Hello_?" He answered.

"James?" I wanted to make sure it was him.

"_Yeah? Is this Edward?"_

"Yes…I'm ready now."

"_I'm glad to hear that man, I've been expecting your call. The night we met, I could tell you wanted help but you just weren't there yet. I hoped you would be soon…I had a feeling about you."_

"I need _help_…I have a _problem_…I can't stop…and I need to…I need my baby…please _help_ me," I pleaded with him. I did not even care that I was crying to this stranger. He had gone through it…he understood what I was doing to myself.

"_That my friend is the first step…you just admitted you have a problem. Give me your address and I'll be right there."_

I told him where I lived and he assured me he was on his way.

The bottle of JD that was still sitting on the floor beside my air mattress looked appealing. My stomach lurched at that thought…here I was only seconds ago…realizing I needed help to be good enough for my baby…yet I still fucking wanted that drink…and I _hated_ myself for it.

James was on his way and we would deal with this together…surely one last drink couldn't hurt…could it?

_No_!

My baby deserved better than this…and so did Bella.

I pulled myself from the floor and approached the bottle of JD with determination. Once I had it in my hands…so close…I almost took that drink…but I didn't.

I took the bottle to the sink and I poured it down the drain.

It hurt to do that…but at the same time…it felt…_freeing_.

There was more where that came from.

That was how I passed the time while I waited for James to arrive. I poured all the alcohol in the apartment down the drain…hoping it would wash away my pain. It did not completely take my pain away…but it gave me hope to know that I was on the road to becoming a better person for my child…and my Bella.

When James arrived, he was pleased that I had dumped most of the alcohol in the apartment. He waited for me to dump the rest and then he said he was taking me somewhere.

We ended up back at the church where I first met him.

"What are we doing here? I think…I feel…no…I _know_ that I need more help than an AA meeting…I need to check myself into a rehabilitation center."

"You're right…you do. I suspect you've had this addiction for a long time…haven't you?"

I nodded.

"And no one noticed?"

Again, I nodded.

"All right then…our first step is to get you in there to a meeting…it won't fix you of course…but it's going to help. Then first thing tomorrow morning, I will drive you to a rehabilitation center I know of in Port Angeles. I found one for you there…that way you will be closer to Forks in case your wife goes into labor. I bet if you're sober…she'll let you be there. I'll stay with you tonight and pretty much hold your hand so that you don't slip…you're not alone, buddy."

"Thank you," I said.

We walked into the church and I was shocked at the different people who were there. Some of them looked as I did…people you would never guess to be the type to have a serious addiction.

James showed me to where we would be sitting and when the person at the podium asked for newcomers, he encouraged me to stand.

I pulled the ultrasound picture quickly out of my pocket, took a deep breath and stood.

"My name's Edward…and…I'm…an _alcoholic_."

"Hi Edward," said a chorus of voices from around the room.

Yes…I could do this.

I _had_ to.

_**A/N…I think you guys can guess which way I went with the paternity. For those of you upset by this, I'm sorry…but I always have a plan. **_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of the next chapter from BPOV. It's an important chapter…**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing repeatedly and quickly! Thanks to teacher1209 for her lovely thoughts when she pre-reads! **_

**_Here is the deal...I am still going to update again Wed night as regularly scheduled...but the next update after that one will more than likely not be until 9/8 because I have a LOT of homework to get finished for my Master's Degree before the 8th. _**

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Carlie's Eyes__** by **__prettykittyartist_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5853493/56/Carlies_Eyes**_

_**LOVING this one! **_


	22. Baby Cullen

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

Chapter 21

BPOV

_**Saturday May 9, 2009: Age 25**_

It was official…my child hated me.

The baby was supposed to be here by May fifth…it was now the ninth! Back in February, he or she was in such a hurry to get here…and now…_nothing_.

I wanted my child out of me…I was exhausted…and cranky.

There was a knock on my bedroom door and then Charlie entered with a breakfast tray. "Morning, Bells. Are you hungry at all?"

"Yes, thanks Dad," I said softly.

Dad had been practicing cooking since I had been put on bed rest. He was actually becoming pretty decent at it.

I smiled brightly at him when I saw that he made all of my favorite breakfast foods that I had been craving lately.

The plate on the tray was filled with scrambled eggs with chives, bacon and toast…slightly burnt…just the way my dad and I liked it.

"Thanks, Dad, really…I appreciate this so much. Cereal would have been fine."

"Nonsense, I know how frustrated you are right now that Baby Cullen doesn't want to come out."

"Baby _Cullen_?"

"Well I just assumed…Edward is the father…are you not giving the baby the Cullen name?" He asked me.

I had given it a lot of thought and I was definitely going to name my baby _Cullen_. It just felt right to give our child Edward's last name.

"Yeah, I'm naming the baby Cullen. Are you disappointed?"

"Of course not, Bells. Don't ever think that." He patted my leg as I began eating.

"Bells…um…I was hoping that we could talk some…_now_," he said hesitantly.

"Ah, I see…so _that_ was the reason for my favorite breakfast…you were just buttering me up for whatever you wanted to talk about."

"Maybe a little," he said smiling.

"Well, go ahead Dad…apparently I'm not going anywhere anytime soon…this little one isn't budging…so we might as well chat while I have my breakfast."

"Esme called again this morning. Honey, I understand your reasons for not really talking to them but baby, they are related to your child. They do have a right to know if he or she is here yet or not. I wish you would just talk to them."

After the day that the girls came over and brought my things and the gift that Edward had given me…I kind of stopped talking to them.

I just felt as though I needed to distance myself from them for the remainder of my pregnancy. I threw myself into my writing and talking to the baby.

I spent time with Dad and Riley in my room and that was about it.

About a week after that day, Alice called and talked to Charlie. She begged him to let her come see me but he told her that I needed space. He asked her to tell the rest of the Cullens that as well.

Was it wrong that I wanted the remaining part of my pregnancy to be completely drama free? I didn't think so…and the Cullens were definitely not drama free at the moment. It was not as if I was going to keep the baby from them once it got here. I would never do that.

"Dad, I appreciate your concern…but you know _why_ I did this," I told him.

He nodded. "Yes, I do. I completely understand…lord knows that family has always had drama of one form or another…but they are still this baby's family too."

He placed his hand over my stomach and I put my hand over his. "You really love this baby, don't you?" I asked.

"Absolutely, she's going to be the apple of her Pops' eye."

"_She_? _Pops_?"

"Yep, you've got a girl in there. You're giving me a beautiful granddaughter and I figured that she is going to have _two_ Grandpas so she will need to be able to distinguish between them. Carlisle is a little older than me so he can be Grandpa. I'll be Pops."

I laughed at him. "What are you going to do if it's a boy?"

He shrugged, "Well that will be fine too, but I'll still be Pops."

Now was the time…I was going to tell him the baby's name either way. "The baby will have the same first name either way," I said.

"Oh, really?" He asked.

"Yep…Charles Anthony for a boy…Charlie…spelled C-h-a-r-l-i-e. Or Charley Renee for a girl…spelled C-h-a-r-l-e-y."

I saw a few tears glistening in my father's eyes.

"So…Charlie…either way, hunh?"

I nodded.

"Why is that?" he asked.

"Because…I wanted to name my child after the best person that I know…and that's _you_, Daddy."

The tears that he was trying to hold in were now falling. "Damn it Bells, you're making me cry," he said as he wiped them away.

I put the breakfast tray on the nightstand and opened my arms for him. My belly was in the way a little too much for me to go to him.

He hugged me tightly and I reveled in the feeling of my dad's arms.

One thing was certain to me in that moment. If Edward and I had been together, still…I would not have come to Forks alone when Charlie was shot.

Dad and I might not have gotten this close again if that were the case.

Mom was right…everything happens for a reason.

Was I happy that Edward hurt me and broke our marriage vows? Of course not…but there was nothing else that would have ever separated us because I was completely blind to the rest of his character flaws.

Also, after all the thinking I had done since I was put on bed rest…I was able to come to the realization that…some of the things Edward said about me were _true_.

I _did_ push him away.

I _did_ only want him touching me if we were going to be working on making the baby.

Our lovemaking had become very robotic.

Did that excuse what he did? Absolutely not.

But the fact of the matter was that we _both_ made mistakes…and I don't think I would have ever figured that out without coming to Forks.

I had no idea what was going on with Edward now that I had not talked to his family. However, I hoped that he was finally getting some help for his issues by this point.

It would be great if we could put our past behind us at some point and _both_ be parents to our child.

Although, I felt that if we were ever going to get back to even being friends, we would need some sort of counseling for all of our problems.

Something we should have done a long time ago…before Edward could have even thought about cheating.

Maybe things would be different.

I pushed that thought right out of my mind. No…I wasn't going to dwell on the past…when I had an amazing future ahead of me.

Charlie pulled back and was still wiping tears. "I can't believe you're making me cry like this, Tink…really…your mom would be thrilled to see me opening up and showing my emotions this way."

I laughed because he was right. Mom always told him he needed to cry more and let it all out of him.

I took a deep breath and decided to send a text to Esme. I grabbed my cell phone and typed the words I wanted to say.

_Esme,_

_I'm sorry. Just needed some space._

_Baby isn't here yet. Overdue._

_Charlie or I will let you know as soon as it's time._

_Love,_

_B_

I showed it to Dad.

"Thanks, Tink," he smiled.

"Yep, is that all you wanted to talk to me about?" I asked him.

"Um…actually…_no_," he said.

"What is it?"

He nervously explained to me that he overheard Edward talking to me the day I was in the hospital back in February.

I was shocked because that meant the words I heard him saying…that I thought were only a dream…he had _actually_ said them.

"Did you think he was sincere?" I questioned.

"I definitely do…but I think you deserve to be given an actual face to face apology and not the cowardly apology given to you while you're sleeping."

"I agree," I told him.

I did agree…but it still meant a lot to me that he said what he did.

"There's _one_ more thing," he said.

I motioned for him to continue.

"What's going on with you and Riley?" He asked.

"Really? You want to talk about that, Dad?"

"No, not really…I mean…I like Riley…I do…he's a good man. I've worked with him on many cases and I have seen him do a lot of good for people…and his parents are decent. But…I don't want to see you rushing into anything."

That reminded me of something that had been on my mind to ask my dad for a while now.

"Dad…that reminds me…why _are_ you so welcoming to Riley? Why do you like him the way that you do but have always seemed to hate Edward?"

"Honey, I don't _hate_ Edward," he started.

I laughed loudly and shook my head, "Yeah…sure you don't."

"What? I truly don't _hate_ him. I don't like him very much…but there is not any hate there. He was never good enough for you."

"You're going to think that about anyone because I'm your little girl."

"That's very true. But…okay look…I need to tell you something and don't interrupt until I'm finished. Can you do that for me, Tink?"

I nodded.

"After we had known the Cullens for a couple of years, Esme confided in Renee about Carlisle's infidelity. Of course, because your mom and I did not have any secrets, she told me. I was shocked. They always seemed in tune with one another and they just clicked.

"Renee explained that it was when Edward and Alice were babies. My heart broke for Esme and I saw Carlisle differently after that. As much as I didn't want to, I saw his boys differently as well. I saw them as having the possibility to turn out like their father.

"Now Emmett never concerned me because it was always clear that you loved him like a brother, but Edward was a different story. At first, you two were just friends…so while I didn't worry too much…I still kept my eye on him.

"Then you guys went and became a couple on me and I was scared out of my mind. I was terrified of letting you be with a boy who had the potential to completely break you if he ended up doing something like his father did. I never wanted that for my daughter.

"When I saw you guys going down the same road as your mom and I did as well as his parents…I could not in good conscience support the decision. Edward was going to follow the same career path as his father and everything. I saw the same things happening to you as they did Esme. I never wanted that for you."

Well…now it all made sense.

"Didn't you see how Esme and Carlisle were over the years? Esme was able to get passed it and they have always been great together."

"Did they really get passed it though? She kicked him out again after finding out about Edward's cheating, didn't she? Obviously she was not as over it as she seemed."

That was true…if I took Edward back…thirty years later would I still be holding it over his head?

No…that did not matter. I had already told Riley that once I had the baby…he could come over for an official date. I explained that I wouldn't want to actually go out for awhile because of the baby…I would not feel comfortable leaving my child for awhile.

He was fine with that as long as we had something at the house that we could call an actual date.

Dad continued.

"Now, I know Carlisle and Esme didn't stay in therapy…maybe if they would have stayed in counseling…handled things differently with Edward…maybe things would have been different…but that's an awful lot of maybes…and I don't want my baby girl surrounding her life with just maybes. I want you to have everything…all that you ever wanted."

"I get that Dad, and I love you for wanting that for me. You know, when Esme and the girls came over…Esme said that she and Carlisle are better than ever now…and they are back in therapy. She did let him come home finally."

"Yeah, I've talked to Carlisle."

"Oh, are you guys friends again?"

"I guess you could say that."

"Well, that's good," I told him.

"Bells, as much as I think Riley is great…and it is kind of fun to watch him piss off Cullen…I don't want you rushing into something and getting your heart broken once again."

"I know Dad. It's just…things with Riley…are…nice. He makes me feel special…adored even. He has been such good friend to me and I owe it to him to at least give him a chance."

"Tink, you don't owe anyone, anything."

"Dad…"

I was unable to finish what I was about to say.

All of a sudden, I felt wetness and something strange. It made me jump.

I grabbed my stomach.

Oh God…I knew what this was.

"Dad…we're gonna have to continue this conversation later…my water just broke."

Charlie scrambled around getting me down to his police cruiser. He figured it would be easier for me to get into than his truck and he could use the siren.

"It's okay, Dad…the contractions just started and they aren't bad yet. You don't have to get all crazy."

"Sorry, Bells…this is just nerve racking for your old man," he laughed.

I bit my lip nervously as I tried to decide what I should do about the Cullens.

I took my phone from my purse and sent a text to Esme once again.

I noticed she had responded to my earlier one.

_Bella, _

_I understand sweetie._

_Please just let us know when the baby is coming_.

_We promise not to smother you._

_Love you,_

_Esme_

I had to let them know.

_Esme_

_Water just broke_

_Contractions are starting_

_Edward can come…__**IF**__ he's sober…and he can't bring _**HER**_!_

_B_

"Did you text the Cullens?" Dad asked.

"Yeah, I told them," I said.

"Did you tell them to get Edward?"

I nodded. "I told Esme he could come."

"I won't let him near you if he's not sober or if he has that whore with him."

"I already covered that, Dad."

"All right, I'm just letting you know. No one will spoil this day for you. You should call Riley."

"Oh yeah, you're right."

I had forgotten about him and I felt awful. It was weird that I had not heard from him yet today…but he was probably busy with work.

He tended to work a lot on Saturdays.

Riley knew that I had been terrified about the birth and he had been reading all of my books with me that talked about what I could expect when the time came. Neither of us felt comfortable with him being in there or anything so that was not an option. But he wanted to be in the waiting room.

His phone rang and then went to voicemail.

"Riley, it's Bella…I'm on my way to the hospital. The baby's coming. I thought you would want to know. Just come to the hospital when you can, okay? Bye."

"He's going to be upset he missed that call," Dad said.

"Yeah, I know…he really wanted to be there. Who knows how fast it will go though…it could still be awhile since the contractions aren't too bad right now."

"Well, from what happened with your mom when you came, it can start happening very quickly honey."

"Yeah, so I've heard," I said anxiously.

I was suddenly extremely nervous and wishing for one person to be with me.

_Edward_.

He would talk me down from my nerves.

I did not have much time to think about him because we were finally at the hospital and before I knew it, I was being wheeled up to labor and delivery.

The nurses hooked me up to all the necessary monitors while doing their assessments…and we _waited_.

The contractions were hurting and I was in and out of it. I refused the epidural because I may never be able to get pregnant again and I wanted to experience all of this and not be loopy or have the drugs affect my baby at all.

Dr. Maximos had assured me it was safe…but I did not want it.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.

I lost track of time and was unsure how long it had been but the contractions were finally horrible and gut wrenching.

Charlie was still sitting right by my side patting my face down ever so often with a cool washcloth. I had been sweating for a while now.

Every time the nurse came in, she would tell me I was not dilated enough and I was beyond the point of frustration.

Finally, the nurse came in and told me she was calling Dr. Maximos because it was time to have a baby.

I was relieved because I was really feeling like I needed to push and I wanted this little one out of me very much.

"Remind me again, why I wanted this!" I yelled to my father.

By this time, I was seriously regretting my decision to forgo the epidural.

He patted my head again with the washcloth before he stood up and let me squeeze the hell out of his arm as a contraction hit me.

He chuckled and said, "Oh Tink…when she gets here…you won't even think about all this pain."

"You better be right!"

"I'm always right," he laughed.

"I am so not in the mood for your arrogance right now, Dad!"

I could tell he was still laughing…and if I were not in the most physical pain I had ever had in my life…I probably would have been laughing right along with him.

Things happened rather quickly after that. Dr. Maximos entered the room and I was put into position.

Before I was able to start pushing, Edward burst through the door in a rush.

"Please tell me I made it in time! I got behind every slow asshole on the planet trying to get here!"

"Who is this?" One of the nurses yelled.

"He's the father," Charlie mumbled.

I looked from Edward to my dad and then back to Edward. He looked…_good_…amazing in fact. But the thing I noticed above all was that he looked…_sober_.

I felt my dad squeeze my hand and I looked up at him. I knew what he was asking me with his eyes. Did I want Edward here? We both nodded to each other knowing that as long as he was sober, he had a right to be here for the birth of his child.

Charlie tilted his head and made a motion for Edward to come stand on the other side of me. "Come on then, let's do this," he told Edward.

After about thirty minutes of pushing from me and a lot of yelling as well as crying from all three of us…our baby was here.

Dr. Maximos pulled out the baby and said, "Congratulations, Bella…you have a beautiful _daughter_."

Her beautiful cries filled the room. I had never been this happy or full of love for one person in my life…and I had not even held her yet.

I laughed and looked over at my father who was smirking down at me. He kissed my forehead and said, "See…always right."

"Charley it is then," I smiled at him.

I looked over at Edward who still had a tight grip on my hand and realized he had not taken his eyes off Charley.

"Edward?" I asked him.

He said nothing. The tears were streaming down his cheeks and his mouth had not closed. He was completely in awe of her.

"Do you want to cut the cord, _Daddy_?" Dr. Maximos asked him.

Nodding quickly, he cut the cord and said, "Oh my God…this is what it's _supposed_ to feel like."

Charley was placed into my arms and I fell even more in love with her.

She was the perfect combination of Edward and me…she was wonderful.

Edward kissed my head and I could tell he was still crying. "You did amazing, Bells. I can't believe she's finally here. We _made_ her."

He was a mess and then focused his attention back on Charley, quickly touching each of her fingers and toes. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"Just making sure they're all there. She's perfect," he said smiling. He continued to look nowhere else but right at her.

The nurses took her over to the other side of the room to do all of their assessments on her and Edward kissed my forehead, muttered a "thank you" and quickly followed her.

Charlie said, "She is gorgeous, Bella. I can't tell right now who she looks like…but I'm thinking you. Now, I know the doc needs to clean you up and do all this…_stuff_…so um…I'm just gonna go over by Charley, okay?"

"Okay, Dad."

Once I was all cleaned up and they were finished with Charley, I watched as the nurse placed our little pink bundle into Edward's waiting arms. He looked like a kid at Christmas…standing impatiently by the tree waiting to open presents.

As soon as he had her in his arms, he placed a tender kiss on her tiny forehead and I thought I could read his lips well enough to know that he told her he loved her. He then said, "Now I know what Dad was talking about."

Holding her like a pro already, he placed another kiss on her cheek and turned towards me.

"Let's go see Mommy," he told her.

He walked over and placed her gently in my arms. "Hi, baby. I've been waiting awhile to see you," I cried.

"Her name is Charley?" Edward asked.

"Yes…Charley Renee…Cullen," I told him.

"Thank you so much Bella…for her…giving her my name…for letting me be here…just…thank you," he said.

"You're welcome," I told him.

Dad got to hold her next. He went on, and on about how now that he was seeing her all cleaned up he knew without a doubt that she looked mostly like me. Edward agreed. She had a head full of hair that was my color right now and she had blue eyes but I swore I saw a tint of green in them and I was hopeful that they would look like her daddy's.

My father saw that Edward was itching to hold her again so he willingly gave her up and let him take her.

I wanted to hold her.

Edward must have noticed the longing in my eyes. "Here," he said as he took his place beside me in the bed. He placed Charley so that she was laying on both of us.

We both sat there in amazement at _our_ daughter.

"Look at what we did," I whispered softly to Edward while staring at our angel.

He took my hand and said, "I know…we did well...she's _amazing_."

I think Charlie sensed that we needed some time to ourselves so he excused himself from the room. He said he was going to get some coffee and tell the Cullens in the waiting room that she was here.

Today was the best day of my life. Charley Renee Cullen entered my world at 7:56 p.m. weighing six pounds six ounces and she was eighteen inches long. I hoped she would be tall like Edward.

"You look much better, Edward," I told him breaking the silence.

"I am doing better. I need to tell you…Lauren's baby…she wasn't mine, Bella. I don't know who the father is…but it's not me. When she was born, she looked nothing like me…and I had no feelings of any connection to that child. I got the DNA test that I should have had a long time ago…and it proved I'm not the father."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

That was the best news he could have given me…it made today more perfect than it already was.

"That's good to hear, but Edward, why didn't you come tell me this sooner?"

"First, my family knew…but you have not been talking to any of them. None of them are mad about that by the way, they all understand. Second, I was trying to straighten myself out. A lot has happened. I'm sure you know, I got kicked out of the program…the hospital was done putting up with my bullsh…_stupidity_."

He was trying not to swear in front of his daughter and it was adorable.

"Yes, I did know that. But if you get yourself straightened out, they would take you back," I started.

"No," he said quickly. "I don't want that. I decided I don't want to be a doctor anymore. And Bella…I _am_ getting myself straightened out. I haven't had a drink in sixty-seven days. I met someone who has been where I have…and he's been a great friend to me. He's my AA sponsor…"

I interrupted him. "You're going to AA?"

"Yeah…I spent a month in rehab…getting a handle on my addiction to booze. I also started anger management and I talk to a therapist every week."

_Wow_.

"Are you going to family counseling?" I asked him…remembering when Esme told me she and Carlisle wanted to do that with their children.

"Yes, I am. Alice recently started coming too…but Emmett still won't. He's having a hard time offering any forgiveness to Dad…or to me," he said sadly.

"He'll come around," I told him.

"I hope so," he replied.

"Bella…in AA…one of my steps to recovery is to make amends with everyone that I have wronged…"

I knew where he was going and I stopped him. As much as I wanted to hear everything he had to say…I did not want to hear it today. Today was about our daughter and I wanted to enjoy her.

"Edward, can we discuss this another time? Let's focus on our baby right now…okay?"

He smiled softly and nodded.

We sat there and looked at Charley some more. I was extremely tired and the nurse was going to take Charley down to the nursery. She asked me if I was breastfeeding and I told her no. I knew they said it was better…but my mom didn't breastfeed me and I turned out fine.

It just was not something I wanted to do.

We kissed Charley and told her we loved her and would see her soon.

Edward looked sad now that she was gone. "I _miss_ her," he said.

"I know me too."

She had been gone less than a minute.

He suddenly noticed that he was still in bed with me holding my hand.

He quickly removed himself and sat in the chair beside the bed. "Sorry," he said quietly.

"It's okay."

"Bella…I _need_ to talk to you. I know things are over with you and me…and I am dealing with that. I hope that one day we can at least be _friends_ again. I miss my best friend. But…I want to be better for her…for Charley. She's everything to me now. I can't be three and a half hours away from her…I just can't. I'm moving to Forks…as long as it's okay with you."

I was floored. Edward was going to give up his life in Seattle to come here…to Forks…just to be near his daughter.

It made me happy that he loved her that much.

I always knew he would be a good father…whether he thought he would or not…he was only scared.

"I think that would be great Edward…and good for Charley."

"Good," he smiled.

"But…I think we have a long way to go…before we can be friends…Edward. There has been a lot of hurt…and a lot of wrongful actions…on both our parts…and on another day…we are going to have that talk where you can work on making amends."

He looked surprised when I said that.

"Would you consider coming to therapy with me sometime? So we can work out our issues in order to be stronger parents for Charley? I don't want her to see us fighting or not getting along all the time."

Again…_wow_…who was this man and what had he done with Edward Cullen?

"Yes, I will consider that," I told him honestly.

Riley and his awful timing chose then to rush into my room. "Sweets, I saw Charlie out there. I'm so sorry that I missed it. How are you? He said it's a girl. Is she as beautiful as her mother is? Oh…hi Edward," he finished.

Edward looked as if he wanted to say something that probably was not nice but I could tell he was biting his tongue.

"Um…I'm just gonna go talk to my family and see Charley. Okay?" He asked me.

"Of course, kiss her for me!" I told him.

I snuggled back into the bed and tried to rest my eyes. I apologized to Riley for needing to sleep. He said it was not a problem and he completely understood. He kissed my forehead and told me he would come back later.

Many thoughts were whirling through my mind.

Charley was here.

Edward made it to her birth and he loved her.

He was moving to Forks.

I had a budding romance with Riley that could possibly be great…but how was I going to handle living that close to a man that I still desperately loved?

I should not love Edward…and I could not allow my heart to go there anymore.

The best thing I could do was to ignore any lingering feelings for Edward at all and focus on trying to make it work with Riley.

He was a good man and he wanted to be with me so badly…he asked me all the time to only give him a chance.

That was what I was going to do.

Edward would always be Charley's father and hopefully one day he would be my friend again…but that was all he would ever be.

Friendship was all I would ever be able to handle from Edward Cullen.

I was afraid my heart would not survive anything more.

_**A/N…All right, Charley Renee is here. If you would like to see a picture of how I see our littlest Cullen you can go here:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser from Chapter 22 in EPOV. Due to the massive amount of work I have to get done this week, I don't think there will be any surprise updates. However, if that changes…you guys will be the first to know. Also, because of the load of homework that I have due tonight by 2am...I will get as many reviews responded to tonight as I can...but what I don't finish tonight, I will respond to tomorrow. **_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing and teacher1209 for pre-reading.**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Overboard__** by **__chels926_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/6148043/1/Overboard**_

**oHo**


	23. Parenthood

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…SURPRISE! I could not stay away :) Happy Labor Day Weekend! **_

_**Song for this chapter:**_

_I Could Not Ask For More__** by **__Edwin McCain_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=ZPXRJkla7fI**_

_**Also, we will see a few short time jumps throughout this chapter. **_

Chapter 22

EPOV

_**Saturday May 9, 2009: Age 25**_

I ended up spending the night at the hospital. After I left Bella's room to go talk to my family, I headed straight to the nursery.

My family took turns seeing Charley and they could not get enough of her.

Everyone was smiling and loved her immediately. Emmett and I did not say much to one another…but it meant everything that he was there for Charley.

He was also silent with our father.

Dad was smitten with Charley…he seemed completely over the moon with her.

Who wouldn't be though?

She was an amazing little person who just made everything better.

After visiting, everyone left for the night except for Charlie. When my family left, he told me he was going to head back to Bella's room. He made a point to tell me he was spending the night in there with her.

I guess he thought I was going to try to sneak in to be with her or something.

As much as I wanted Bella back, going to her room was the last thing on my mind. I knew she needed space and there were too many things to settle between us before we could even consider anything between us…so my main concern was for our daughter.

The nurse who was in charge of Charley asked me if I wanted to sit in the rocking chair with her. I had not even noticed that was there.

When I sat down in the rocking chair and the nurse placed her in my arms…I felt truly at peace. There was not a selfish thought running through my mind.

No anger.

No jealousy.

No obsessive thoughts.

Just peace…and love for this child.

She started to fuss a little until I started singing to her quietly. I didn't want to wake the other babies. "These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive. These are the moments I'll remember all my life. I found all I've waited for…and I could not ask for more," I sang to her.

That was the first song that came to my mind…it described exactly how I felt about my daughter. She seemed to like it, which encouraged me to keep going.

"Looking in your eyes, seeing all I need. Everything you are is everything to me. These are the moments I know heaven must exist. These are the moments I know all I need is this."

Charley was all I ever needed. I had a feeling one look at this little angel would bring the strongest man to his knees.

I smiled down at her before bringing her closer to my chest. I leaned down and placed tiny kisses all over her face, gently. "I love you so much. I'm going to be the best daddy to you..and you will know every single day that you are my world. Now…that doesn't mean you're not going to get into trouble.

"I will always keep my punishments fair to you…you have my word on that. But you will have boundaries…rules…curfews…and they are only because your mommy and I love you so very much.

"You're not going to get every single thing that you want…because that will never teach you anything. You might hate your mom and I for that sometimes…but you will thank us for it one day…trust me on that. Oh…and no boys…_ever_. I'm just telling you right now Charley Renee…you are never dating."

I heard the nurse chuckle. "Mommy is awake and wanting to spend time with her daughter," she told me.

"Oh, okay, of course. Is she spending the night in Bella's room or will she be brought back here to the nursery?"

"Hospital policy here says that if the mother requests to have their baby in the room with them then that is what we do. Mr. Swan asked us to keep little Charley in the nursery tonight so Miss Swan can rest.

"She is being quite stubborn about it though. Her father asked that we bring Charley into the room and then bring her back to the nursery once Miss Swan is back asleep. She should be back here tonight."

"Thank you," I told her and went to the nursery waiting room. That was where I would be sleeping. If Charley was coming back here then that was where I would stay.

It figured that Bella was being stubborn. Of course, she wanted her daughter with her. I wished she would just let the nurses care for her tonight though. Bella was going to be doing everything soon enough…right now; she needed rest while she could get it.

She was exhausted after Charley's birth and could barely keep her eyes open.

As I tried to make myself comfortable on the hard chair in the waiting room, I thought back to my conversation with Bella earlier.

It thrilled me that she was okay with me moving to Forks.

Last month, our house had finally sold. Alice got the paperwork to Bella for her to sign through Charlie since Bella was taking a break from my family at that time.

I sent Bella the check for her half and I put my half into an account that I started for Charley.

I would need to get out of my apartment lease that I currently had. I talked the manager into letting me go month to month so it should not be a problem…and I really didn't have many belongings any more.

I was completely starting over with my life. I wanted to look for a house in an effort to provide my daughter with two stable homes. She deserved her own room and a huge backyard to play in…maybe I could get a dog or something.

Since I had stopped drinking and started therapy with my family, things were getting better. I really hoped that my brother would be joining us eventually…I wanted to fix that relationship as well.

He wasn't ready yet. I went to his house last week and tried to talk to him. He told me that he appreciated me coming and trying to fix things…but he would contact me when he was ready to talk to me or to our father.

Dad and I discussed this in therapy and we decided that we would not push him…we would wait for him to come to us as he requested.

Going to the rehabilitation center was a great decision for me. They really helped me work through my withdrawals from the alcohol and then they helped me begin the healing process for all of the things I was going through.

I truly wanted to make amends with Bella…I wanted her to see that even though we were no longer together, she could count on me for anything and I would be an awesome father to our little angel.

I had a lot to make up to that little girl. Because of me, her mother had experienced a pain that no one should ever have to suffer…and because of my drunken stupidity…I had missed everything with my daughter up to this point.

Things I could never get back again.

But I would be damned if I missed anything else.

I was relieved that I was able to tell Bella the paternity of Lauren's baby. Even though in my heart, as soon as I saw Rachel, I knew she was not mine, seeing the proof in my father's hands was wonderful.

_**Flashback**_

_**I had been in rehab for a week and everyone in my family knew where I was in case something happened with Bella and the baby.**_

_**James talked to my father about the DNA test results and he said he would gladly bring them to me in person. **_

_**Carlisle arrived with a huge grin on his face and I knew I had my answer. He handed me the test results and it felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders when I read the words stating that Rachel Mallory did not have my DNA.**_

_**I was thankful I had not signed the birth certificate. Dad said that Lauren was there because she had found out about the test I asked the doctor for and she was freaking out.**_

_**She begged him to tell her where I was. When he wouldn't, she started crying and telling him that she needed to talk to me.**_

_**He called her out on her lies and she told him that she could explain everything and I would be interested to hear what she had to say.**_

_**I wanted nothing from that woman. Nothing she could say would change anything she had done. I was finished with her completely. I needed to fix myself so I could be there for the baby that I had actually fathered. He or she needed me and I was going to be around. **_

_**As far as I was concerned, the Lauren Mallory chapter of my life was officially closed.**_

_**End Flashback**_

I was able to put the bad thoughts out of my head and think about the good things. What was Charley going to be like?

What would be her favorite color?

What songs would she like to sing?

What foods would she enjoy the most?

My mind drifted through thought after thought and before I knew it, I was in a deep slumber with only visions of a tiny angelic face dancing through my head.

The nurse nudged me awake, "Mr. Cullen. Good morning. Little Charley came back to the nursery last night but you were sleeping peacefully so we left you alone. It's morning now and she is heading to her mom's room. Would you like to join her?"

"Sure," I told her.

My back was sore when I got up from the chair. It was not the most comfortable place to sleep…but it allowed me to be close to her and that was all I cared about.

I wanted to be wherever Charley was.

Bella was thrilled to see our daughter. She was more alert and bright eyed today. "Morning, Bells," I told her. I placed Charley into her arms and kissed her forehead out of habit.

Charlie, Bella and I sat there cooing and talking to the little miracle for a good thirty minutes before the douche who is also known as Riley came to visit.

I was relieved to find out that _he_ had not spent the night with my…no not _my_…just _Bella_.

She was a person and she did not belong to me…she did not belong to anyone.

Bella smiled at him, "Hey Riley! Come look at Charley! She's perfect!"

"Oh…it's alright. I don't want to interrupt your bonding, sweets."

He seemed really uncomfortable whenever Charley was mentioned.

Hmmm…this should be funny.

I kissed Charley quickly on the cheek and stood from my spot beside Bella. "Here you go man, get in there. She's gorgeous. You should hold her…it's life changing."

He reluctantly sat down…trying to put on his fake smile the entire time. I never took my eyes off him because I did not trust him in the least. Something told me he was not going to be as willing to play '_Daddy'_ as he made everyone think. I needed to expose him.

Bella handed Charley towards him.

"No it's okay, um…she's really little…and I don't want to hurt her or anything."

Bella looked disappointed but tried not to show it. "It's all right. You'll have a lot of time to spend with her and hold her after we go home."

My heart ached at that thought. I did not want him spending time with _my_ baby girl.

Charlie stood and asked me if he could see me out in the hallway.

I obliged and followed him.

"Look Cullen, I'm gonna be straight with you. That day in February, I heard everything you said to Bells."

I knew this…because he was standing right there when I went to leave.

"I can see how much you already love Charley…and I would never take that from you…or my granddaughter…stop acting terrified of me. All I have to say right now is that Bella deserves to hear your apologies while she is _conscious_…and it's time you man up and do so."

I nodded.

"You're absolutely right. I tried to speak with Bella yesterday…but she told me it was not the right time and she was right. Yesterday was all about Charley. Right now, she needs to be our focus. I will make amends with your daughter, sir. I would also like to make amends with you."

"I'm listening," he said with his arms crossed over his chest.

I wanted to chuckle at how much he reminded me of Bella standing like that…but I did not want him to think this was not serious to me.

"I'm sorry for all the times I've been disrespectful to you…back in high school and especially more recently. I also want to apologize for the fact that I let you down and broke my promise to you. I swore to you the day that I married your daughter…that I would never hurt her…and that was exactly what I did. She always made me fight back my selfish, asshole tendencies but when we got out on our own…I lost myself. I stopped fighting it and let the prick take over more often than I care to admit. The drinking did not help and she deserves better than that."

"Yes, she does."

"I'm not going to push her to take me back. If by the grace of God she _ever_ decides to grant me the opportunity at a second chance…I will take it and not let her down. But I'm not going to pressure her into anything. All I want is to be friends with her again…and take care of my daughter. She is the most important thing to me."

"As she should be. Edward, I appreciate you being man enough to tell me all of this. I can't promise you Bella will ever be willing to give you another chance…and I'm not sure that I would want her to. However, if she did…all I can tell you is…don't fuck it up."

We went back into the room and I saw that Bella and Riley were laughing and making silly faces at Charley.

Well that fucking sucked…he looked as if he had loosened up a bit around her.

Damn it…but he still refused to hold her.

What was his deal?

It was going to be harder than I thought…being around them all the time…seeing them trying to be a couple…but my main concern was for my daughter.

I was her father before anything else.

I would step back and let Bella have her life with Riley…unless he gave me a reason to hurt him.

Yeah…I was definitely keeping my eye on him.

"Riley, can you let Edward sit in your chair? I want him to come bond with Charley some more."

_Ha! Take that you smug motherfucker!_

The look on his face was priceless.

I saw Charlie smirking and shaking his head from the chair by the window.

"Sure, sweets…I'm just going to go down to the cafeteria and grab a bite…maybe check in with the office."

Bella was so involved in talking to Charley she did not even acknowledge that he had spoken to her.

He glared at me as he passed by and headed to the door. "Thanks, Riley. I can't get enough of my baby girl. I'm sure you'll understand the feeling one day when you have kids of your own."

It was a low blow…but I could not help myself.

"Of _course_…no _problem_, Edward," he said smiling. It was probably one of the most fake smiles I had ever seen.

I went to sit down in the chair that Riley had just vacated when Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me onto the bed.

"No…here…sit like we were earlier. I want us both to bond with her this way."

I sat beside her and wrapped one arm around Bella before she placed Charley so that we were both holding her again. I used my free hand to touch her little fingers and cheeks. She was absolutely amazing.

"Char, it's Daddy. Mommy is here too. We love you angel. We're so glad that you're here," I told her.

"Bella, do you want me to bring you something back?" Riley asked from the door.

_Hadn't he left yet? Get out fuckwad._

"Oh Edward, she has my finger! She is too cute. I just love her to pieces!" Bella exclaimed.

"Look at you, holding Mommy's finger like a big girl," I cooed at her.

"Let me get some pictures," Charlie said standing. He was frantically looking for where the camera had been placed.

"Um…Bells?" Riley asked.

_Could this douche bag not take a fucking hint? Leave us the fuck alone._

Bella finally looked up from Charley and acknowledged that he was still in the room.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what was that Riley?"

"Do you want me to bring you anything back?"

"Nope, I've got everything I need right here," she said. Then she smiled down at Charley before picking her up and pressing their noses together in an Eskimo kiss. "Isn't that right, sweetheart? Mommy has everything she needs right here in this pretty pink blanket."

The idiot _finally_ got the hint and left the room.

"Wait! Dad look in the bag that I brought. Charley's blanket is with me. I want to wrap her in that instead of this one."

He retrieved the blanket from the bag. It was the blanket that I had given her…my old baby blanket. I could not believe that she was going to wrap our daughter in it. It felt surreal and I had to choke back the sob that was forming in my throat.

"You kept it," I whispered.

"You thought I wouldn't?" she asked.

"I had my doubts…thank you."

"You're welcome. I love it, Edward. I'm going to have her name and birth date put on it next to yours."

I nodded and looked away for a minute to collect myself. The amount of time I'd spent crying lately was turning me into a pussy. If Emmett were to see me like this, he would ask for my man card.

Bella removed Char from the blanket the hospital had her in and wrapped her up in my baby blanket…snug as a bug in a rug…that's what my mom used to tell me.

I leaned back against the bed and pulled Bella back with me. We had Charley in our arms…and for the time being…the moment was perfect.

Everything that mattered to me in the world was in that hospital bed with me.

_**Saturday August 15, 2009: Age 26**_

Charley was now fourteen weeks old, a little over three months. It was amazing to watch her grow before my very eyes.

I drove Bella and Charley home from the hospital the day that they were released. I approached Bella carefully about the fact that she needed a vehicle for our daughter.

She agreed without any fight.

_**Flashback**_

"_**So let's go to a dealership and pick something out," I told her.**_

"_**You…you're giving me a choice?" She questioned in shock.**_

"_**Um…yeah…it's your vehicle…you'll be the one driving it."**_

"_**Wow…I don't want to leave Charley though."**_

"_**Okay, well let's look online. You tell me what you want and I'll go get it."**_

"_**You really are not going to make me get the car that you want me to get?"**_

"_**Nope, it's all up to you. I'm just going to go pay for it and bring it back."**_

_**The look on her face was priceless and the smile that she granted me took my breath away.**_

_**End Flashback**_

She picked out the 2009 Volvo XC60 in silver, which surprised me. My car was silver…and she always told me she hated her Volvo.

I asked her about it but she told me it was practical, safe and good for our daughter…therefore it was what she wanted.

What Bella wanted…Bella was getting…from here on out…no arguments from me…ever.

I was currently cleaning up around the house. Since moving back to Forks, I had not done much besides help Bella with Charley and play Daddy. I had never been happier.

I still had no clue what I wanted to do with my life now that I was never going to be a doctor…and thankfully…I was financially stable enough to not have to worry about it just yet.

My therapist in Seattle found one for me in Port Angeles that he'd heard wonderful things about. She was even willing to do the family and couples sessions as well. My parents and Alice would be driving to Port Angeles for our family sessions. They said they would make time and make it convenient so I would not have to be far from my daughter. I had not approached Bella again about therapy yet…things had been overwhelming once Charley came home.

The one time I did bring up therapy, that fucker Riley had convinced her that she didn't need it.

_**Flashback**_

_**Charley had only been home for a week and I was at their house helping Bella with her. I did not want Bella to be the only one in charge of her nighttime feedings. **_

_**Since I had not been completely moved to Forks yet, I was pretty much living in the Swan living room. **_

_**I kept a baby monitor on the coffee table so I could hear when Char woke up and I would take at least one of the overnight feedings. **_

_**This particular night, Riley had come over for dinner. Earlier in the day, I had briefly approached Bella about starting therapy with me and for her.**_

_**She did not say too much about it and I was going to bring it up again once Charley was down for the night. **_

_**I overheard Riley speaking with Bella in the kitchen as they were doing the dishes.**_

"_**Why is he still here?" Riley asked her.**_

"_**He's helping me with Charley."**_

"_**I'll help you with her, you don't need him here all the time, Bella."**_

"_**He's her father and how are you going to help me with her? You won't even hold her, Riley!"**_

"_**Sweets, come on. I told you…babies make me nervous. I don't know what to do with them. Charley is an angel. I don't want to hurt her."**_

_**I could practically feel Bella rolling her eyes at him.**_

_**Things were quiet and then she spoke. "I'm thinking about starting therapy with Edward."**_

"_**What? Why? You don't need therapy! You two are divorced! What good would therapy do for you now?"**_

"_**It would help us learn to work together so we can be better parents to Charley."**_

"_**Bella, you are an amazing mother…and Edward is fine as a dad. You don't need therapy. Promise me you won't go…you spend too much time with him as it is. All he is trying to do is suck you back in…can't you see that?"**_

_**She finally said, "Maybe you're right."**_

_**What the fuck?**_

_**After Riley had left and I approached Bella about therapy…sure enough…she shot me down.**_

_**That idiot needed to be out of our lives…like yesterday.**_

_**End Flashback**_

It was only a few days later that I found a house and started moving to Forks, permanently.

I was worried about moving away from James because he was my sponsor and had become such a good friend to me. However, he actually ended up moving to Port Angeles because of a woman.

Things were over with his ex but now that he had been sober long enough, she was finally letting him see his kids. They also lived in Port Angeles. It was on one of his visitations with his kids that he met Tanya. She was a waitress in the diner where he stopped for coffee before making the trip back to Seattle.

They had both been over to my house a few times and both were now considered good friends of mine. James was there every time I needed him…and sometimes I had to be there for him as well.

Recently, his ex had informed him that she was remarrying and moving to Texas…taking his kids with her.

He did not have a say because of his history and she had full custody. He was distraught because his visits were going to be even less now.

I went to him immediately when he called me and told me he was at a bar and about to throw everything away.

James did not drink that night…and he beat himself up over calling me because I was new to sobriety and he said he was supposed to be allowing me to lean on him…not the other way around.

Once he dealt with everything, he knew he was going to have to accept the way things were…he was going to focus on Tanya and be the best father to his kids as he could be from so far away. He wanted them to have the life they deserved with their mother and stepfather. He told me he had already done enough damage to his ex and their children and he was not about to stand in the way of their happiness now.

I hated that this was happening to him but it was amazing to see how strong he was. He was truly a great guy and I was thankful that I had met him.

He understood my feelings about Riley and Bella…how hard it was for me to know that they were dating and she was giving him a chance.

They had not gone out on an actual date because of Char. Nevertheless, he would come over and spend time with them and then once the baby was asleep, he and Bella would watch a movie or have dinner. It broke my heart…but I had to deal with it.

Everything was moving along and for the most part, I was doing well. I still had the urge to drink whenever something didn't go my way or I had a problem…but Charley helped me a _lot_.

Sometimes focusing on that little girl was better than seeing Dr. Weber.

I had two pictures that I kept on myself at all times. One of Charley that Bella had taken professionally, I kept in my wallet. The other one was one of Charley and I together that Bella took. That one I usually kept in a shirt pocket, pants pocket, something…and then she was my salvation when I needed it.

My cell phone interrupted my thoughts.

I smiled as I saw the caller ID.

_Bella_

"Hey, Bella?"

"Edward, I need you…can you come over?" She sounded frantic and frustrated. I could hear Charley screaming in the background.

"Sure, Bells. Is everything okay? Is it Charley?"

"Yes, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. She won't stop crying and I'm so _tired_."

I stayed on the phone with Bella and tried to soothe her. It did not take me long to get there since I was lucky enough to find a house that was only two streets over from Charlie's. Bella was cool with this because she said it would be great for Charley. Riley _hated_ it.

I loved that Riley hated it.

When Bella opened the door to let me in, she had Charley in her arms. She handed her to me immediately and Charley instantly stopped crying.

"I'm such a failure as a mom! She goes to you and she stops!" Bella cried as she made her way to the couch. She slouched down and put her hands over her face in an effort to hide her tears.

I sat beside her and sang to Charley…balancing her on my shoulder with one arm…while patting Bella's thigh with my free hand.

Charley nuzzled into my neck and was falling asleep quickly.

"I tried singing to her…doing what you're doing…and it didn't work!" She sobbed.

"Shhh…Bells it's okay…apparently she missed her daddy."

Bella pulled her hands away from her face…and smiled.

"I guess," she said.

"Are you okay? Are you finished with your freak out? You know you are an excellent mother to this little girl. Sometimes she just needs her dad."

She nodded and wiped her eyes.

We sat there silently as I rubbed Charley's back gently…and rocked her back and forth on the couch.

"Did you know what the date was yesterday?" She asked in a whisper.

Of course, I knew.

It was the day our lives changed forever…it was the day I lost my wife. The day of that fucking radio show.

I could not really blame the radio show though…it was _my_ fault.

I nodded.

"I just wanted you to know…I see what you were talking about. I know that you were right…I _did_ push you away. I did a lot of the things you said I did."

I was floored that she was admitting this…but it did not change anything.

"Thank you for telling me that…but it doesn't excuse what I did to you…to us. Our daughter has to grow up with divorced parents now because of the poor choices that _**I**_ made. No matter what you did…I should have never slept with someone else…that is _my_ fault. If I could go back, I would force you to talk to me…and I would have stayed away from Lauren."

I could tell from the look on her face, she wanted to change the subject so I let her.

She told me about the book she had been working on and I had never been more proud of her. I knew she would get it published because it would be amazing. Her writing was always wonderful.

I told her how happy I was about it and that she should let me keep Charley for her a little more each week so that she could write without having to worry about her.

"That would be amazing, Edward! Thank you!" She beamed.

"I can even come over here so Charley can still be close to you if you need her."

She smiled and nodded. "I would like that," she said.

I felt my eyes getting heavy and leaned back a little. I knew I should not fall asleep there but I couldn't help myself.

I was unsure what time it was when we heard the sound of throats clearing.

I opened my eyes and felt warmth on my chest. Charley was still in my arms snuggled into my left side. Bella was snuggled into my right and my hand was on her hip.

Crap…Riley and Charlie were staring down at us.

Neither of them appeared to be terribly happy at the situation.

"Sorry, Bella was frantic…Charley wouldn't calm down. She missed me…we must have fallen asleep," I rambled.

Riley spoke first, "Oh, I'm glad you were able to be here for her then. I had to work late…she called me _first_…but I couldn't leave when she called."

She called him first…about _my_ daughter? What the fuck?

Bella shifted and moved away from me, snuggling into the pillow at the other end of the couch. This left me free to move so I stood with Charley in my arms and glared at Riley.

"Yeah…well, I'll be here whenever they need me. I'm only a phone call away," I smirked.

"I suppose that's good for them then," Riley replied in frustration.

"I'm going to put Charley to bed and take off," I told them.

Riley stopped me. "Listen man, um…I'm really trying to make a go with Bells…it's important for me to be a part of Charley's life. Can I put her to bed?" He asked.

Was he insane?

I held my daughter in a protective embrace to my chest in order to shield her from him. "I've got her," I told him.

"Don't start a pissing contest, boys. It's late and both of my girls need to get to bed. So either you two are going to do it or I'll do it myself but make a decision already," Charlie said in frustration.

Riley gave me his signature smirk that I was dying to wipe off his fucking face and said, "It's okay…I understand…you're the daddy…I'll put my sweets to bed then."

_Motherfucker_

I hated him with a passion.

I conceded because I knew if I made a scene and insisted on putting Bella to bed he would probably want to take Charley and frankly the less time he spent with my daughter the better.

I passed him as I left Bella's room. He smiled and carried Bella into the room she shared with our little girl.

I had to leave that house before I lost my temper. I wanted to pound into something and my fist was going to find Riley's face if I did not leave soon.

As I headed home, I could not shake the feeling that something was off about that guy.

_**Sunday August 30, 2009: Age 26**_

Bella had let me keep Charley since Friday night and I was thrilled. We had a great time together.

My weekend was made even better because yesterday, my brother came to my house. He hung out with Charley and me. Emmett said that he was finally ready to talk to Dad and me. He had been watching us and felt that we were proving that we were no longer the men we once were. He wanted to fix his relationships with us because Rose was pregnant. He didn't want his son or daughter to feel tension with their uncle or grandfather.

We had a great day together…the first one…probably…_ever_.

Today, I had to take Charley back to Bella's early this morning so I could meet Jasper, Emmett and my dad for golf. I hated golf, but it was a way to bond with them so I was doing it. They were making the effort and coming from Seattle…I would make the effort to and at least be in attendance.

When I pulled into the driveway, I noticed Charlie's truck was there but the cruiser was gone. I also noticed Riley's car, which infuriated me. Why did he have to come over for breakfast?

Couldn't he eat at his own fucking place?

Bella opened the door and seemed nervous.

She started to yell out Charley's name because she was glad to see her but I put my finger to my lips. I turned her car seat to show her that our daughter was in fact, asleep.

"Bring her into the kitchen. I'm making breakfast," she whispered.

I followed her and noticed she was making pancakes. I fucking loved Bella's pancakes. I wondered briefly if she would let me stay and have some but my thoughts were interrupted by Riley's voice.

"Mmmm…smells great in here, sweets."

I turned to look at him.

Fuck me.

He was wearing pajama pants and…nothing else.

He fucking spent the night here.

With a grin, which I was sure he thought was sexy; he went to Bella and kissed her on the cheek. He then turned and made his way to Charley.

"Hey Charley girl!" He yelled startling her. Her cries suddenly filled the room.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? Could you not see she was fucking sleeping you idiot?" I yelled at him.

I was pissed…one because he woke up my sleeping baby…and two because I was trying really hard not to cuss as much around her and thanks to him I had just blown that.

"He didn't mean to Edward, calm down," Bella warned me. Then she looked at Riley, "You woke her up…you get to deal with her."

He huffed before shrugging his shoulders. "Fine…she's a _kid_…how hard can she be?"

It was my turn to smirk at his dumbass.

He lifted her out of her car seat and he held her out in front of him awkwardly. She was still screaming and he crinkled up his nose. "_Ew_…something's wrong, Bella…she fucking _stinks_! These pajama pants were really expensive…if that crap leaks out of her diaper it's going to ruin them!"

When he said that, something in me flashed back to the coffee shop…the day Bella dumped her coffee on me…and ruined my shirt.

_Fuck_.

Was that what I sounded like?

It was surreal to see yourself that way…to know you had acted like the biggest douche…the lowest form of scum…worrying about fucking clothing…when the love of your life was falling apart…or an innocent child was miserable in a soiled diaper.

I would never be that way again. He sounded like a pompous, callous asshole…that was exactly how I had sounded.

Yeah…Dr. Weber would get an earful at our next therapy session. This little incident brought out many more issues for me to discuss with her.

Bella was flipping pancakes and sausage while getting frustrated. "Well…she needs changed then Riley! You need to do it sooner or later…if _you_ want breakfast…_you_ are going to have to actually be the one to change her!"

He looked as if he was going to get sick and I did not want him dropping my daughter. I leaned into him a bit and whispered, "Bite off more than you can chew there buddy?" I looked over my shoulder to Bella and said, "I've got this…don't worry."

I took Charley from him and made my way upstairs to change her. "Let's go little girl…does Daddy need to change you? Do you need some fresh pants put on you pretty girl?"

She smiled at me…she loved it when I talked to her.

Well…when anyone talked to her…but it brought me the most joy I had ever known to see my tiny angel smile back at me.

I changed her quickly since I had become quite good at it and made my way back downstairs.

As I paused at the doorway to the kitchen, I took notice of the scene before me.

Riley was behind Bella and speaking into her ear. I was sure he thought he was whispering but I heard him loud and clear.

"Last night was amazing sweets…I can't wait until we do it again. You've ruined me for all other women. Let's see if Cullen will skip his little golf outing and take the kid back for the night…then you can let me have you again…pretty please?"

I was going to be sick.

I felt as if my throat was closing…I could not breathe. There was a loud ringing in my ears that would not go away.

There was an ache in my chest I had never felt before…it was burning…tight…I wanted it to stop.

Bella broke the hold he had on her hips and turned in his arms looking extremely irritated. "That _kid_ has a name…it's _Charley_ and you should get used to her and stop acting like you're afraid of her…if we're going to date...then we are a package deal, Riley! She is not going anywhere…but don't you forget for one second…that you _can_. She is a constant in my life…you don't _have_ to be!"

I cleared my throat because I did not want to hear anymore. They turned towards me and Bella pushed out of Riley's arms. Bella and Riley could tell from my expression that I overheard them. Bella looked guilty while Riley looked smug.

_Fucking prick._

"So…I changed her. I'm just going to be on my way then," I told them.

I placed Charley into her swing that was in the kitchen and kissed her softly before heading to the front door.

"Edward, wait," I heard Bella say behind me.

I turned to look at her.

"I'm so sorry…I never wanted you to find out that way. Last night was the first time…I don't do anything like that with Charley here…and it was only because Dad was working overnight…and…we would have gone to Riley's place…but I wanted to make sure I was here when you brought Charley home…I'm so…"

I stopped her.

She had no reason to apologize to me…she owed me _nothing_.

She was single and free to be with whomever she wanted.

"Hey…payback's a bitch, right? I just never realized it would hurt this much. You're single and you don't owe me any explanations, Bella."

Without thinking, I pulled her towards me and hugged her close to my body. I held her tight for only a matter of seconds before placing a gentle kiss in her hair. I looked directly into her eyes so she would have no doubt that I meant what I was about to tell her.

"I know it's too little too late…things have been crazy and we haven't had our chance to talk…for me to make amends…but I'm _sorry_ for everything I have put you through. I cannot apologize to you enough for breaking your heart. You _never_ deserved that…and if what I just felt is anywhere _near_ what you felt…I don't know how you survived it. You are a strong, amazing woman Bella Swan…never let anyone tell you different…even if it's me."

With that, I released her from my hold and left.

I had to get out of there because the emotions were way too much.

I had a choice to make. Knowing what I knew about Bella and Riley's physical relationship now…I really wanted a fucking drink because my heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces.

I wanted to numb that pain.

I came to the stop sign down the street from Charlie's house. If I turned left, it would take me to the Forks Country Club to meet the guys for our golf game. If I turned right, it would take me to the only bar in town.

I pulled down the sun visor in my car and looked at the picture of Charley that I had placed there as well…in case of emergencies such as this one.

I took deep, calming breaths.

The pain did not go away.

I needed it gone so fucking badly.

I thought about Bella and how she dealt with my adultery. She did not do destructive things to numb her pain away…she _felt_ the pain…and _lived_ through it…she _dealt_ with the pain every single day…while our daughter was even inside of her.

If she could do it…I could do it.

I did not need the booze.

_Charley_…I only needed _Charley_.

I heard the car behind me honking because I was not going anywhere.

_Make a decision for once in your goddamn life that will not totally destroy the people you love._

_Left_…I chose _left_…

I chose correctly…for _once_.

_**A/N…Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing through this like four times for me…every time I changed or added something. Also, thanks to teaher1209 for pre-reading it just as many times. LOL**_

_**Reviewers will receive a teaser from the next chapter from BPOV. I will get them out as soon as I can. **_

_**I know some of you will be hating on her for doing the nasty with Riley…but it needs to happen for both B&E to move forward.**_

_**I promise it will help them in the end.**_

_**Anyway…aren't we proud of E for making the right choice for once?**_

_**You can check out pictures at this website:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether **_

_**Alright…Story Recommendation:**_

_Rapture__** by **__AydenMorgen_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5863816/7/Rapture**_

**oHo**


	24. Confusion

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Song for this chapter:**_

_Falling Down__** by **__Avril Lavigne__**. I listened to this song while writing the chapter. For some reason, it just felt fitting to me with Bella in this one. You can listen here:**_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=6kGp3JvtU5I**_

_**WARNING: B's sexing with Riley from her POV in this chapter…it's not a graphic lemon or anything like that but I wanted to warn you.**_

Chapter 23

BPOV

_**Sunday September 13, 2009: Age 26**_

I turned twenty-six today and even though I still did not have things resolved with Edward…I was in a much better place than I was last year on my birthday.

Charley was a little over four months old and getting more beautiful every day.

Her eyes were green now and we were pretty sure they would stay that way because they were a piercing green…just like her father's eyes.

Edward still insisted that she looked like me but I was seeing more of him in her all the time.

She was definitely a daddy's girl though…through and through.

It was amazing to me that it was even possible to love someone as much as I loved my daughter. Every day I was positive that I made the right decision in letting Edward become a part of her life.

He was a wonderful father.

Edward had been coming around even more since he was caring for Charley a lot of the time, giving me the opportunity to work on my book.

When we discussed what he wanted to do with his life now for a career, he told me for the moment he had the best job in the world…stay at home daddy.

It warmed my heart to hear that.

I asked him frequently how his therapy was going. He would tell me some things about his sessions…but he really didn't need to say much…I could _see_ the changes in him.

He was more like the Edward he used to be…before he let everything consume him.

When he asked me again to start therapy with him, I told him I would think about it. But when I brought it up to Riley, he pointed out that we were working really well as parents. What was the point of putting myself through seeing a shrink for something I was already pretty good at? When Edward brought it up again after my talk with Riley…I told him no.

Also, a part of me wondered if Riley was right about Edward using therapy as a way to try to get us back together…and I did not want that.

I was fairly certain I did not want that.

My mind had been a confused mess lately.

However…I was not sure if forgoing therapy was the right decision for me anymore. Deep in my heart, I felt as if it was still something that I personally needed and something that Edward and I needed to do _together_.

I had so many conflicting feelings…about Edward…Riley…myself…and I did not know what to do with any of them.

Perhaps a therapist _could_ help me with that.

Neither one of us spoke about the morning in August when he came to bring Charley home. I was thankful that he did not bring it up any more because I didn't really want to talk about it.

I hated that Edward found out that way about Riley and I having sex. That was exactly what it was..._sex_.

I felt awful because it meant much more to Riley than it did to me. Instead of waking up the next morning feeling refreshed and fabulous about amazing lovemaking the night before, I felt regretful, guilty, terrible and confused.

Then, Edward went and said those sweet things before he left the house and I was more confused than ever.

Having sex with Riley made me realize just how much I was still in love with Edward.

_**Flashback**_

_**Edward was keeping Charley until Sunday morning and Dad was going to be working the night shift all weekend. I had made the decision that I was going to go for it and give myself to Riley. He had been asking me if I was ready yet and I kept telling him no.**_

_**So far, throughout our dates after Charley had been put to bed, we had made it to kissing, making out and light petting…but I was ready for more…or at least I thought I was.**_

_**I had to see for myself though if I could do it. I needed to know that I could be with someone else besides Edward.**_

_**Plus women had needs too…and my vibrator was not doing it for me anymore and I definitely found Riley extremely attractive.**_

_**Riley was going to pick me up for a fancy dinner after Edward picked up Charley Friday night. I called the girls because I needed help. They drove to Forks to help me get ready.**_

_**Alice brought a dress with her. It was gorgeous and different from something I would normally wear. I was thankful she brought it because I wanted to look and feel sexy tonight.**_

_**It was burgundy, tight and came right above my knees. **_

_**After I was dressed, they did my hair and make-up. I stared at myself in the mirror and even I could say that I looked amazing. **_

_**Alice and Rose left right before Edward showed up to get our daughter.**_

_**He was speechless when I opened the door. Well…it was nice to see that I could affect one man with my appearance. I hoped that Riley would have the same reaction.**_

"_**Um…you look…you're…wow…it's just…amazing," Edward stuttered.**_

"_**Was I really that bad before?" I asked with a chuckle.**_

"_**No…it's…I'm not used to seeing…"**_

"_**You're not used to seeing me without formula and baby drool all over me?" I laughed.**_

"_**Yeah...I guess that's it. It's been awhile since I've seen you all dolled up," he smiled.**_

"_**Well, thank you. I appreciate the compliment. Riley is taking me out to a nice dinner tonight."**_

_**I was waiting for him to make a snide comment or turn possessive…but he did neither. He smiled…a small one that did not reach his eyes but it was a smile. **_

"_**That's great. I hope you two enjoy your dinner and have a nice night. Charley and I have big plans too. We're going to have some formula, do tummy time, read stories, sing songs…it's going to be great."**_

_**After he finished talking about his plans with our daughter…then he had a truly large smile on his face. I loved to watch him with her. **_

_**I kissed my little girl and Edward left with her…leaving me alone at the house. Riley was late.**_

_**The phone rang and I jumped to get it. "Hello?" I asked.**_

"_**Sweets, I'm sorry. I'm going to be here at the office most of the night. It's that big case that I can't talk to you about. I'm sorry babe, can we go out tomorrow instead?" **_

_**Damn it.**_

_**I had to be understanding…this was his job. I knew how I felt about my writing so I could not begrudge the fact that he was passionate about his work.**_

_**As I took the dress off and hung it in my closet, I decided I was not getting all dressed up tomorrow night…just in case he had to bail again.**_

_**No, I would just offer for us to have dinner here once Charlie left for work.**_

_**Saturday was upon me before I knew it and Riley assured me that he would be there for dinner. **_

_**I made a simple lasagna, salad and garlic bread, making sure Dad ate before he left.**_

_**Riley showed up promptly at seven just as he said he would.**_

_**I told him over dinner that I was ready to go all the way with him.**_

_**It sounded so high school but I was nervous because Edward was the only man I had ever been with.**_

_**What if I was a disappointment?**_

_**I definitely had self-esteem issues…especially since my ex-husband went outside of our marriage for sex.**_

_**Deep down, I knew that had more to do with Edward and his faults…his selfishness…but there was a part of me that was more towards the surface wondering…if I had been a better lover…would he have cheated?**_

_**I needed to chase these thoughts away…I needed to feel wanted and desired…by someone other than Edward.**_

_**Riley had definitely managed that. **_

_**It was time for me to move on from my ex-husband…I needed to prove to myself that I could do this…I could be with another man.**_

_**After dinner, we quickly moved things to my room and he was pawing at me like a starved animal.**_

_**For some reason, it didn't feel as good as it did when Edward reacted to me like that.**_

_Stop comparing him to Edward!_

"_**I need you Bella, right fucking now. Can I have you?" He whispered as he kissed his way down my body.**_

_**It felt good to be needed…so I would focus on his need…and not the voice that was shouting in my mind screaming at me to stop this. **_

_**I nodded, letting him know it was okay for him to continue.**_

_**I was confused by everything I was feeling as we undressed and touched one another.**_

_**While his kisses and caresses felt good, they felt wrong.**_

_**They were the wrong hands…the wrong lips…the wrong eyes. I was supposed to be looking into green…not blue.**_

_**We were both finally naked and I was ready. **_

_**He was about to push into me when I pushed him back forcefully.**_

"_**What's going on? Did you change your mind?" he asked.**_

_**I leaned over to the nightstand and pulled out a condom. **_

_**I hated them and I had just bought them for the first time ever since I had never needed them before now. I refused to have sex with him without one. I had an IUD put in after Charley was born…but I was not taking any chances.**_

_**He rolled his eyes at the condom in my hand. "Sweets, you have that IUD. We don't need that…come on…I want to feel you…pretty please?"**_

_**His pout and his begging were not going to work on me this time. I was not backing down on this. If he was not going to wrap it…he was not putting his dick anywhere near me.**_

"_**Riley, we're not doing this without one."**_

"_**Come on babe, I can hardly feel anything if I'm wearing one of those. We're both clean and you're protected from getting pregnant…"**_

_**I interrupted him, "I'm not caving on this. Put it on…or get off me…end of story."**_

_**He was killing the mood and really needed to stop fucking arguing with me.**_

_**Finally, he took the condom from me and rolled it onto him. I wasn't sure exactly what I expected to feel when he finally entered me…but it wasn't what I thought it would be.**_

_**While Riley was attractive and we did have **__some__** chemistry…he wasn't Edward…and it was painfully obvious to me as I was having sex with him that I was still completely in love with my ex-husband.**_

_**I pushed thoughts of Edward out of my head as much as I could and focused on Riley. He wasn't a selfish lover and he made sure that I got off before he finished.**_

_**Unfortunately, no matter how good Riley was at sex, my orgasm was non-existent until an image of Edward making love to me, passed through my mind.**_

_**When we were done, he cleaned everything up and came back to bed, wrapping me in his arms.**_

_**I waited until he fell asleep and then I cried…because the arms that were holding me…were wrong…they were not the arms that I wanted.**_

_**I knew then that having sex with him was a huge mistake and it could never happen again.**_

_**The morning after, Riley tried to go for round two but I was able to divert him towards breakfast instead. I went downstairs to start making pancakes and was hoping that I could get him fed and out of the house before Edward showed up with Charley.**_

_**Unfortunately, that did not happen. **_

_**I was appalled that Edward found out about us having sex the way that he did. It hurt me to see the pain on his face. Yes…he had hurt me deeply by having a three-month affair with…**__her__**…but I would never wish that pain on anyone.**_

_**While I knew his pain would be nowhere as deep as mine…I knew it cut him badly to know about our sexual encounter.**_

_**Then…to see how well he handled it. He blew me away when he said what he did at the door. After he left, I quickly wiped away the tears that had fallen and went back to the kitchen to deal with Riley.**_

"_**How could you do that? You knew he was in the house…that there was a chance he could hear you!"**_

_**He shrugged.**_

"_**He deserves to know that it is completely over between the two of you and there is no hope of him getting you back. You shouldn't string him along and give him hope, Bells."**_

"_**UGH!" I screamed throwing my hands up in frustration. **_

_**I plucked Charley out of her swing and held her close to me. **_

"_**I'm going up to get ready for the day. If you know what is good for you…you will not be here when I'm finished!"**_

_**I was completely frustrated with him. First, the way he behaved with Charley…then to say that to me…knowing Edward would probably hear.**_

_**No, I was more than frustrated…I was furious!**_

_**I was sitting on the bed with Charley lying in front of me. I was cooing at her and she was smiling back at me.**_

_**I heard a throat clearing from the doorway.**_

"_**I told you to leave, Riley!"**_

"_**Come on, Sweets, can I please pretty please with sugar on top come in to see the two most beautiful ladies in the world?" He said pouting from the door.**_

_**He seemed sorry and I softened.**_

_**Once he entered the room, he gently sat down on the edge of the bed.**_

_**Running his hand through his hair he started, "Look, Bella…I'll be honest…you know I've never been in a relationship before. This is all new to me…I'm sorry about this morning with Charley…I was an ass…I mean jerk. Plain and simple. I know I need to get used to her and that you two are a package deal.**_

"_**I respect the hell…heck out of you for being an amazing mother. And I'm even sorry for spilling the beans in front of Edward. I just lose myself when I'm with you. You…and Charley…are very important to me."**_

"_**You've got to be better with her, Riley. That upsets me more than anything…the way you were with her this morning. She is the most important person in my life…and I will not tolerate you disrespecting her. You don't have to be her father…she already has one…I just need you to accept her and love her like I do. If you can't, this is never gonna work with us."**_

_**He nodded and glanced down at her.**_

_**She looked up and smiled at him.**_

"_**Aw…she is pretty cute…gorgeous…just like her mother. Can I hold her?"**_

_**I nodded.**_

_**He stood from the bed and came to stand beside me. As he picked her up, she giggled. Anything made that girl laugh. Being around her all the time was a great joy.**_

_**Riley laughed, "I guess she likes me, hunh?"**_

"_**Yeah she does…if you would just give her a chance."**_

_**He looked quite nervous holding her but he was trying. He started gently bouncing her and talking to her softly.**_

_**She decided she did not like that and was suddenly unhappy. My daughter let out a piercing wail as her bottom lip trembled and then the tears started.**_

_**Shit…that was her 'I want my daddy now' cry. **_

"_**She wants Edward."**_

"_**Well…then I guess you should call him and give her what she wants. Although, I don't understand how the hell a child who is only almost four months old could possibly know what she wants."**_

_**I sighed in frustration.**_

"_**Riley, I'm sorr…"**_

"_**It's okay, I get it. She wants her dad. I can take a hint. I'm gonna take off. Call me later, okay?" **_

_**I nodded. He kissed my forehead and left.**_

_**Charley would not calm down in my arms…she was crying so badly I thought she would hyperventilate.**_

_**I grabbed my cell phone from my nightstand and quickly dialed Edward's number.**_

_**He answered his phone and I did not even have a chance to say anything. He heard Charley crying and the only words he said were, "I'm on my way."**_

_**Shortly after the call, he was knocking on the front door. I opened it and as soon as Charley saw him…she smiled and her cries slowed down immediately.**_

_**Once Edward had her in his arms…she laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. She was content…and quiet…she had her daddy.**_

"_**I'm sorry I interrupted your golf game," I whispered.**_

_**He headed towards the couch and sat down with her, where I quickly joined them.**_

"_**It's not a problem. They understand. I told them why I had to leave and Dad found it funny. Apparently, Alice used to be the same way with him. She would scream bloody murder with Mom until Dad would get home and pick her up. She always wanted him and is still a daddy's girl through and through. I hope Charley is like that…still a daddy's girl at twenty-six. I love her incredibly, Bella. My heart is just filled so full of love for this little girl…it amazes me."**_

_**I softly patted Charley's back and said, "I don't think you have any worries there…I feel like she will always be a daddy's girl."**_

"_**Hey…she loves you too. You carried her inside of you, love. You have a bond with her that I could never have."**_

_**He called me 'love.'**_

_**While it sounded wonderful since it felt like a lifetime since I had heard it…I had to stop him.**_

"_**Don't call me that, Edward…please."**_

"_**Sorry."**_

_**I had to change the subject.**_

"_**I know what you mean though…about the love you feel for her. Every day I think I can't love her anymore than I already do…but then she does something new, or smiles at me and I love her even more than I did before. She is remarkable."**_

_**Edward leaned down and kissed her head as he placed his hand over mine on her back. "Yes, she is…just like her mother."**_

_**He should not be saying things like that to me…but I let that one go.**_

_**We leaned back against the couch and sat in the peaceful silence…hearing nothing but the small breaths of our little angel.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Riley had been mostly sweet and attentive since the night we slept together. However, he was also somewhat clingy and even more jealous of Edward.

He was still not bonding with Charley the way I had hoped he would. I had many thoughts in my head to sift through.

Because of that, I told everyone that all I wanted for my birthday was to spend the day…_alone_ with Charley.

Everyone was understanding about it. I did not tell them my reasoning behind it…I just explained that I wanted to be alone with my daughter.

I was going to take her to the park and just be with her.

Yesterday, Alice came over to bring my dress for Esme and Carlisle's anniversary party on the nineteenth. Yes, they were trying it again this year.

They were hoping it would not be a disaster as last year's party was.

It was going to be the Saturday before their actual anniversary because their anniversary fell on a Monday this year. Alice and Esme booked a banquet room at the Hilton in downtown Seattle. It was very fancy and everyone was supposed to wear tuxedos and glamorous dresses.

The dress she picked out for me was pink, beautiful and nothing like I would usually ever wear. It was much more revealing than my normal style.

I had my doubts about being able to pull off wearing it but when I tried it on yesterday, I felt amazing in it.

Alice assured me that my assessment was accurate and the dressed looked great on me. However, I was nervous about the message it would send to Riley. The dress kind of screamed sex to me…and I had repeatedly denied him ever since our first time.

He had been trying…and getting frustrated…but it was not happening. I was trying to find a way to break up with him that would not hurt him too badly…I didn't want to encourage him sexually.

We had been planning for him to be my date to the anniversary party for awhile and since I had not had the nerve to break up with him yet and probably wouldn't in the next six days…I was going to go ahead and take him to the party.

Riley had been great to me and I didn't want to lose his friendship…but I knew now that we were not working as a couple and we never would.

First…while we had a little chemistry…I could not stop thinking of Edward when we had sex…and that was a problem.

Second…he did not fit well with my daughter…it was obvious that kids made him very uncomfortable. This was a problem for several reasons. Charley was not going anywhere…and one day I would like to have more children.

I did not see that happening with him.

The knock on the front door made me jump since I was deep in thought. Dad was still sleeping so I went to answer it quickly in an effort to keep him from being awakened.

I opened the door and it was Riley. He leaned in for a kiss on the lips and I obliged before quickly pulling away. "Good morning, I need to start breakfast."

He followed me into the kitchen. "Move in with me," he said unexpectedly.

"Excuse me?"

"Well…Charley's growing. It's going to get cramped here with you continuing to share a room with her. Move in with me…just the three of us. I have plenty of room."

I was in shock. I had never even been to his house…and he was asking me to move in with him? My dad asked me once why we never did anything at his house…but the truth was…it just worked better here. Riley was always here when I was on bed rest…and then after Charley was born…I just preferred spending our time here and he did not have a problem with it.

But…now…to ask me to move in with him…with my daughter?

Could I do that?

Did I want to?

Could he not feel the distance that was coming between us? Why was he asking me to move in with him?

I needed to stall this issue. I would make up an excuse and then I would figure out a way to break up with him that would hopefully keep him as my friend.

"Um…that's something I would need to think about…and discuss with Edward."

"Why the fuck do you need to talk to him? I can understand you needing to think about it…but you don't need to get his permission!"

"Look, if I go…I would be taking his daughter with me! He has a say in that!"

"Yeah, he gets a say in everything doesn't he?" He sneered.

"What the hell does that mean?" I said raising my voice.

"It means…he's _always_ here! How do you think that makes me feel, Bella?"

"He is Charley's father! What would you like me to do about that? You knew what you were getting into."

"No, when I first entered your life…he wasn't really in the picture now was he? I thought that I would be a father to your child and he would not be around!"

"I never promised you any such thing, Riley! You've been around long enough to know that Edward is better and he _deserves_ to be her father!" I screamed at him.

"Yeah, he's a real stand up guy…_cheater_ and all," he spat.

"Don't throw that back in my face! Just because he was not always a great husband…that has nothing to do with what kind of father he is and I refuse to stand here and listen to you bad mouth him!"

We were both standing in front of each other glaring and neither of us had noticed my father was now in the kitchen.

"Riley, I think it's time for you to go. Today is my daughter's birthday…that you seem to have forgotten…and I refuse to let her be talked to this way…any day but especially not on her birthday. You know your way out, son," Charlie said calmly.

Riley stomped out of the house like a child who was not getting his way. He was acting more immature than even Edward used to behave.

I needed to make a decision about him…soon.

"Thanks, Dad."

"No problem…have a seat."

"I was going to start breakfast," I told him.

"It's your birthday…I'm cooking for you. Now just sit there, wait for Edward to come back with Charley and look pretty," he smiled.

I loved my dad.

I had a great breakfast with my dad and then he left to go see Sue. They had been dating for a while now and I was happy for both of them.

Shortly after he left, Edward arrived with Charley.

It brought a smile to my face every single time she came home from her dad's…well really she made me smile very time I looked at her…thought about her…okay so maybe that baby just put a smile on my face constantly.

"Happy birthday, Bells," Edward, told me.

"Thanks," I responded.

He started rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "Um…I know you said no presents…but there's something in Char's diaper bag for you. I don't think you'll be upset when you see it…just don't open in until after I leave, okay?"

He looked so shy and anxious that I did not have the heart to yell at him for buying me a present.

Edward kissed and hugged Charley before telling me to have a great day. Then he left and I was finally alone with my daughter…just what I wanted for my birthday.

"Let's see what Daddy got for me shall we?" I said as I sat the diaper bag beside me and pulled Charley into my lap.

I tore open the wrapping paper with more excitement than I expected.

It was an eight by ten picture frame. I turned it over to see what was inside…and my breath hitched at the sight.

On the front of the frame, it said, "Mommy and me" and the picture inside was a hand-drawn sketch of Charley and me. Edward must have drawn it last week when he was over to watch Charley while I was writing.

I wanted to be the one to put Charley down for a nap and I ended up falling asleep on the couch with her on my chest.

I forgot how good Edward was at drawing.

_**Flashback**_

_**We were sixteen and lounging around up in Edward's room after an intense lovemaking session.**_

_**It was after school and no one would be home for a couple of hours still. **_

_**Both of us were naked and on top of the covers. Edward was on his side with his head propped up on his hand. His other hand was drawing lazy patterns all over my body with feather-light touches.**_

_**The most incredible feelings of love and desire filtered through my body with every pass of his fingertips.**_

"_**You have the most amazing body, baby," he whispered.**_

_**Just the sound of his voice even made me crazy with lust. Wetness was pooling between my legs as a blush swept across my body at his words. **_

"_**I fucking love the way you blush, too."**_

_**Words were escaping me, all I could do was close my eyes and enjoy the moment.**_

"_**I want to draw you," he said quickly.**_

_**I was confused by his words because Edward had been drawing for a long time and he was always drawing pictures of me.**_

"_**Edward, you draw me all the time."**_

"_**Not naked," he said with a smirk crossing his face.**_

"_**I'm sorry, did you say naked?" I asked shyly.**_

"_**Yes, can I draw you naked my love?"**_

_**The idea of the boy that I loved, drawing me in such an intimate way, made me crazy. **_

"_**Okay, but you have to promise that it is just for you. You can't show it to anyone…ever."**_

"_**Of course not, Bella! I don't want anyone else to see you this way. But it's not just for me, it's for us. I want you to see yourself how I see you...how beautiful and fucking sexy you are."**_

_**After those words, he pounced on me tickling me as I giggled.**_

_**I felt his cock hardening against my stomach.**_

"_**Again? Already?" I laughed.**_

"_**What can I say? I'm sixteen and you have that effect on me. I'm going to make love to you again and then…I'm going to draw you."**_

_**After we finished our second round, he made good on his word to draw me. He always looked intense when he stared at me…but as he sat on the chair by his window with his sketchpad…drawing me, as I laid bare for him on his bed…I had never felt more loved or cherished than I did right then.**_

_**Once his sketch was finished, he showed it to me. When I looked at the pretty girl on the page, I could see him as he saw me.**_

_**I looked beautiful.**_

_**He glanced at the clock and mentioned that we only had thirty minutes left of alone time together before his family would start returning.**_

_**The lustful gaze on his face told me exactly how he wanted to spend those minutes.**_

_**Afterwards, we dressed, made his bed and cuddled on the couch in his room while watching a movie.**_

_**His arms were wrapped around me tightly as I felt his hands start to wander over my stomach. They were gentle caresses.**_

"_**Someday…I'm going to put a baby in here," he mumbled.**_

"_**You think about us having kids?" I questioned.**_

"_**Yeah I do," he replied.**_

"_**Me too…but I thought only girls were supposed to do that sort of thinking," I laughed.**_

"_**I can't wait for it. You are going to be the most beautiful, amazing mother that there ever was."**_

_**His kind words were making me a little teary-eyed. I was such a girl.**_

"_**Thank you," I told him.**_

"_**I'm going to draw you while you are swollen with our child…at each stage of the pregnancy. Then, I will draw the two of you together once he or she is out into the world with us. They will be the best drawings that I will ever do."**_

_**End Flashback**_

I had forgotten about that until now.

This picture was amazing.

"Your daddy is really talented…did you know that?" I asked while smiling down at my baby girl.

She looked back at me and smiled.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket to send him a text.

_Thank you so much!_

_I love it…forgot how talented you are!_

_I can't believe you did this._

_Bella_

It did not take long for his response.

_You're welcome._

_I told you when were sixteen that I would…I will never break another promise _

_to you as long as I live._

_It has nothing to do with talent and everything to do with the subjects._

_E_

While I did not believe that for a minute, it was nice to hear. Edward knew he was talented with his drawing. Once he started focusing on getting everything in line for becoming a doctor, he completely stopped drawing.

As I was heading out to the park with Charley, my phone buzzed signaling a new text. I thought maybe it was Edward again…but it was Riley.

_Sweets,_

_I'm only texting you because I know you're spending the day with Charley._

_Otherwise, I would have called._

_I'm so sorry about this morning._

_I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me._

_I know it's a shitty thing to do this over a text message…but_

_I…love you, Bella. I love you and it makes me crazy._

_Please call me tonight after Charley has gone to bed._

_I won't intrude on your alone time with her._

_Love,_

_Riley_

Shit…shit…shit!

He _loved_ me.

Why did he have to feel that way? It was going to make things so much harder for me because the last thing I wanted to do was hurt him.

I shook my head to clear it and loaded everything I needed before heading to the park with my daughter.

We went for a walk through the park and fed the birds. She was talking up a storm to them in her baby garble.

Once she started falling asleep in her stroller, I found a tree for us to sit under. As Charley slept comfortably, I pulled out my phone to check my email. I decided to go to my Facebook account and upload some pictures I had of her on my phone.

This was the easiest way for the Cullens to see all of the day-to-day pictures we took of her.

I gasped when I saw Edward's Facebook status.

_**Edward Cullen **__Twenty-six years ago was an amazing day. The mother of my angel was born that day. Without her, I would not have the most precious gift in my life…my Charley Renee…so I am thanking Bella's parents for having her and thanking her for giving me my life back. Today will be a great day. _

A tear trickled down my cheek and I shut my phone quickly. I could not look at it because it hurt too much that he was no longer my husband when I read that.

It made me think back to what he wrote for his status on his birthday.

_**Flashback**_

_**Edward was twenty-six today and he was spending it at his house with Charley as well as his family…with the exception of Emmett and Rose. Emmett was still not speaking to the other two Cullen men. Of course, since he was not going to attend, neither was Rose.**_

_**I had no idea what to get him for a present or if I should even give him one at all…since he was my ex-husband. **_

_**But…if Charley were old enough…she would be picking out a gift for him…so it felt as if I should at least give him something from her.**_

_**A few weeks before, I finally settled on having a t-shirt made for him. He was dressing more casually these days and I frequently saw him in jeans and t-shirts. **_

_**I found a printing shop in town and the day I went to have it made I had Charley with me. They asked me if I wanted to have a matching onesie made and I thought that would make it even more special for him so I told them yes.**_

_**Both the t-shirt and the onesie had an adorable picture that I had of Charley and Edward placed on it. He was holding her on his lap bouncing her as she touched his face and giggled.**_

_**They were looking at one another and it was a beautiful moment that I was happy I was able to capture.**_

_**Underneath the picture on Edward's shirt, it said 'Charley's Daddy' while underneath the picture on Charley's onesie said, 'Daddy's girl.' **_

_**He loved them and thought I had given him the greatest birthday present of his life.**_

_**It made me happy to see him smiling and positively giddy about spending the day with Char.**_

_**Later, after they had left, I got online to check my Facebook page and I noticed his status. He was always putting cute things up every time Charley had a first.**_

_**Edward Cullen: I have the best birthday present a guy could ever ask for…spending the day with the coolest little person on the planet…my daughter. I love you baby girl.**_

_**End Flashback**_

But what he had written today…that had nothing to do with our daughter…well not completely. He was focusing on _me_…and I felt a familiar tug on my heart.

I was in shock that he wrote that for everyone to see.

Numerous thoughts were swirling through my head…a magnitude of emotions swimming through my heart.

What was I going to do?

How did things become so complicated…and what was the right decision for me to make? My head was filled with confusion and I felt utterly and completely…lost.

_**A/N…Reviewers will get their teaser of the next chapter…from EPOV…and it's an important one! LOL**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing, teacher1209 for pre-reading and to both of them for their continued support!**_

**_Dresses can be seen here:_**

http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**The Diner by Jessypt**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5709380/2/The_Diner**_

_**I think a lot of you might be reading this one already…but if you are not…RUN don't walk to go check it out! **_

**oHo**


	25. The Truth

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Song discussed in this chapter:**_

_**Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk…it is B&E's song & it was played at their wedding. You can listen here: **_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=Am7EI5tdaX4**_

Chapter 24

EPOV

_**Thursday September 17, 2009: Age 26**_

"_Somethin in your eyes makes me wanna lose myself…makes me wanna lose myself…in your arms. There's something in your voice…makes my heart beat fast…hope this feeling lasts…the rest of my life," I sang to her._

_It was our wedding reception and we were having our first dance as husband and wife. _

_Bella looked stunning…there really were not very many words to describe her beauty…she looked like my angel._

_She had a simple, summer wedding dress and she looked amazing._

_We made our way across the dance floor staring in each other's eyes as if we were seeing one another for the first time. _

_She looked up at me with her big brown eyes and sang back to me. "It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me. It feels like I'm all the way back where I come from. It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me. It feels like I'm all the way back where I belong," she whispered._

_I saw the tears pooling in her eyes and I felt them gathering in my own._

_I pulled her closer to me and kissed beside her ear before singing, "Well if you knew how much this moment means to me…and how long I've waited for your touch. And if you knew how happy you are making me…I never thought that I'd love anyone so much."_

_She pressed her lips to mine and we stood in place, softly swaying and kissing in the middle of the dance floor, throughout the rest of the song._

_We did not care who was watching us. We were young, in love and had just gotten married._

_Everything was perfect and no one could touch us. We were on top of the world and I never wanted that feeling to end._

_The scene changed from our reception to our wedding night. I left Bella naked on the bed to run to the bathroom._

_Why the hell did Mother Nature call at a time like this?_

_That was not how I remembered our wedding night._

_When I came out of the bathroom, Bella was on the bed, with Riley on top of her…fucking her._

_What the fuck?_

_She was __**my**__ wife!_

"_Stop that!" I screamed at them. "What the fuck do you think you are doing? Get off my wife!" I yelled._

_They didn't listen._

_Riley turned to me and flashed me that goddamn smirk of his as he pounded into my wife._

"_Harder, Riley! Oh, God fuck me harder! Please!"_

_I put my hands over my ears and screamed, "NO!"_

I woke myself with the sounds of my screams and all the thrashing I was doing in my bed.

"Fuck!" I said aloud to no one.

It had been the same reoccurring nightmare since the morning I found out Riley and Bella were having sex.

My therapist told me this was completely normal. I wondered if Bella had gone through something like this when she found out about Lauren and me.

It was not as if I could discuss that with her.

I would never want to bring up that kind of pain with her.

Although…at some point, we were going to have to deal with everything. We put our issues on the back burner to be parents to Charley…but we still had not worked through a damn thing.

It didn't help that Riley was always in the fucking way.

I hated that fucker.

I ran my hand through my hair and decided to head down and start my morning routine. Before heading down to the kitchen, I dressed in my workout clothes.

The house I bought was a three bedroom. I set up one room for Charley, with Bella's assistance. I could tell that it made her feel bad that Charley had her own room at my place but not at hers…so I let her pick out absolutely everything that went in there…the color of the walls…everything.

She wanted something a little different. She picked out pink, green and brown colors for the room and things with butterflies. It was adorable and we were both happy with how it turned out.

We bought a second set of things so that Char would have matching stuff at Bella and Charlie's house…but since they shared a room…it was pretty crowded in there.

Bella mentioned something about getting a place of her own but she didn't want to leave Charlie. Since she did not discuss stuff such as that with me very much, I had no idea what she had decided on the matter.

The third bedroom, I turned into a home gym. I worked out there every morning or whenever I could if I had Charley. When she was here, of course she was my first priority.

As I stopped in the living room to turn on the stereo, I looked down at the coffee table and stared at the drawings that were lying there. I had taken up drawing again and I forgot how much I loved it.

Bella was happy with the birthday drawing of her and Charley. Most of my drawings were of Char, but I had some of Bella too. My favorite one was the one where she was sitting on the couch, with her laptop on her lap, typing away in frustration. She was biting her lip and deep in thought.

I smiled because that was the drawing sitting on top of all the others.

_Bella_.

I wondered if I could find a job that would allow me to still spend a lot of time with my daughter…but draw as well. I would ask Dr. Weber for ideas at our next session. She had suggested at our last one that my need to take care of Charley was wonderful, but I should think about what I want to do with myself as a career, just for me.

Once I was in the kitchen, I started my morning coffee and pulled the eggs out of the refrigerator.

Just as I turned on the stove, I heard the doorbell. I quickly turned off the stove and trotted to the door to see who was there.

Imagine my surprise when I opened the door to reveal a horrid looking Lauren, holding Rachel in her arms.

Rachel smiled at me and put her arms out as if she wanted me to hold her. "Um…Lauren what are you doing here?"

"Edward, I just…I _need_ to talk to you. Can you please let me in? I know you don't owe me anything…but I need to be honest with you…about everything. Please?" she sobbed.

Her makeup was running all down her face and she looked as if she had been crying…for a long time…she did not look put together at all and that was odd for Lauren.

As I really took in her features, I noticed that her lip was busted. Had someone hit her?

I might not like Lauren very much, but she did not deserve that.

I had no idea how she found me…but she was such a mess…I decided that I would at least hear her out…for the last time.

I sighed, "Why don't you let me take Rachel while you run to the bathroom and clean yourself up, okay? Then we'll talk. I'm making coffee."

She nodded and handed me Rachel before going to the bathroom that was downstairs.

"Well…hello there," I said looking down at the smiling baby in my arms. She would be about six months now.

"I'm Edward," I told her.

She simply smiled at me.

I knew those eyes of hers and it kept bothering me that I should know _how_ I knew them.

They were the bluest eyes I had ever seen and they were screaming at me.

Lauren came back into the living room and I handed Rachel back to her while I went to get coffee for us both.

This felt surreal.

I could not believe Lauren Mallory was in my house. What could she possibly have to say to me after all this time? We knew Rachel was not mine…I knew it was not about that.

She had to know that I would not listen to her excuses as to why she lied about Rachel being mine.

I returned to the living room with the coffee and sat down on the couch. I was happy to see that Lauren was sitting in the recliner that was away from where I was sitting…but we could still see each other while we talked.

Rachel was sitting quietly on the floor playing with some of Charley's toys. "I hope you don't mind…I noticed that you had toys so I thought it would be all right."

"Yes, Bella had our baby…a girl…Charley," I told her with pride in my voice.

"I know," she said.

"How do you know that, Lauren? I stopped talking to you before Bella had Charley."

She took a deep breath. "You need to let me talk without stopping me or I'm afraid I won't be able to say everything that I need to."

I nodded and motioned for her to continue.

"First, I want to say, I won't ever cause any problems for you again. Saturday I'm leaving to go to New York with Rachel. We're going to live with my mom. I would also like to say right now…that I'm sorry…for everything. I mean that, Edward.

"I never wanted any of this to happen. Not really…I was caught up in everything. It was supposed to bring us closer together and all it did was pull us apart."

She must have noticed my look of confusion.

"Not you and me…I'm talking about Rachel's father…it was supposed to bring _us_ together. Everything that I did…I only did for _him_."

I was still confused…but it dawned on me that she was in love with someone else. Why be with me and try to pass me off as her baby's father? I needed answers.

"You were never in love with me…were you?"

"_No_…you were a means to an end…nothing more. I only told you that I was to see if I could get you to leave Bella. The whole point of this was to break the two of you up…you two were already so broken…it really wasn't that difficult."

"I'm not following you Lauren…you need to explain…now!" I said firmly.

She put her arms up in exasperation. "I'm not explaining it right. I'm so angry with him I can't see straight…let me start over. The first thing you need to know is who Rachel's father is. Riley Mitchell…he's Rachel's father."

What the fuck did she just say?

"_**WHAT**_?" I yelled.

Rachel jumped at the sound of my voice. I tried to calm myself because the last thing I wanted to do was upset a baby.

"Please explain this to me, Lauren."

"I'm trying! I asked you not to interrupt!"

"You can't drop a bombshell like that on me and expect me to stay quiet! He is around my wife and daughter all the fucking time…please tell me what the hell you are talking about!"

"It was a set up, Edward…_everything_ was a set up! Once we had you two broken up, we were supposed to be able to gain access to your share of the Cullen fortune and then Riley and I would be set for life…together. But nothing has gone as it was supposed to."

_Hunh_?

"Riley has been targeting you for a while now. He has been planning this…he wanted the Cullen money. The plan was simple…I was to get the job at the hospital and seduce you. Bella would find out and leave you. Then Riley could make a play for Bella. He figured that in a divorce settlement, she would get half of everything. He wanted to marry her and then your money…that was her money…would also be _his_ money.

"Then, I was supposed to get you to marry me and I would have access to your money as well…then I would divorce you and take half of the money you had left. Once I divorced you, Riley would divorce Bella and take half of her money…giving him access to a large chunk of the Cullen fortune. Then he started talking about disposing of you and Bella in other ways…that would leave us both with access to _all_ of your money. He is delusional!

"He planned this out so that he could take his time and woo Bella. But then things got really complicated. Riley has a gambling problem. He owes some very bad men a lot of money. This made him have to put a rush on plans for getting his hands on your money. I also ended up pregnant…which neither of us was expecting. That was never a part of the original plan.

"Riley always refused to wear a condom when we had sex. I knew right away that the baby was his…but he was in denial. It was becoming obvious that you were never going to marry me…he _wanted_ Rachel to be yours so I could get you for child support. Even if Rachel wasn't yours…he wanted to make you believe that she was."

She was having sex with both of us and not wearing a condom with him! I was never more thankful than I was in that moment that I always wore a condom with her, I had recently been tested for every STD and all the results were negative.

I prayed that Bella was being safe when she was having sex with him.

"He was pissed because it took me as long as it did to seduce you…but you wouldn't give me the time of day for so long. I overheard your parents talking in the cafeteria one day. It was a private conversation but I am very good at eavesdropping. They were discussing the troubles that you and Bella were having getting pregnant.

"It didn't take a rocket scientist to see the change in your behavior at work. You seemed like a man who was starved of attention from his wife. That was my in…_finally_. Everything fell into place from there to break up your marriage. All I had to do was make you feel needed and wanted…everything your wife was not making you feel at that time."

My thoughts drifted to the first time I slept with Lauren.

_**Flashback**_

_**Everything in me was screaming that this was wrong. I should be with my wife. What the fuck was wrong with me?**_

"_**Edward, I need you so badly. You are a wonderful man. I don't know why Bella doesn't see that in you. You're strong, handsome, desirable, there is much more to you than she realizes. She is a fool to push you away."**_

"_**How did you know?"**_

"_**You just seem like a man who has been neglected by his wife? Am I right?" she whispered.**_

_**I nodded.**_

_**I knew I needed to get up and walk out of her apartment right now. This should not happen…I loved my wife…why would I even consider this?**_

"_**Here…have another drink, lover," she said.**_

_**I had several.**_

_**Lauren wanted me…there was no pressure…she wanted me for me…I just wanted to feel loved…needed…desired…just once.**_

_**Before I knew it, we were past the point of no return and I was a worthless cheater.**_

_**Endless Flashback**_

I tried to focus once again on what Lauren was saying.

"Riley hired a private detective to keep tabs on Bella. Then, when he found out the loan sharks were done waiting for him to pay and gunning for blood…he took drastic measures to get Bella out of Seattle and away from you.

"He paid someone to rob the store in Forks when he knew Bella's dad would be on duty…that person was instructed to shoot him…not to kill…just to injure him. Riley knew that Bella would come running to be there for her father."

I could not believe what I was hearing…that fucker was more twisted than I ever thought.

Fiddling with the end of her shirt nervously, Lauren continued. "Edward, you have no idea what he is capable of. He knew everything that was happening with you guys. He even paid the private detective to follow her to Forks…to make sure he would cross her path. Bella stopped on the way at a gas station to go to the bathroom. The PI let the air out of her tire so that it would eventually go flat or blow out. Since she didn't lock the car, he was also able to get into the trunk and remove the spare.

"He continued to follow her and Riley was close by waiting for the call that she was stranded. When it happened, he conveniently was able to rescue her. He made sure that he was not going to be her actual divorce lawyer, leaving him free to date her. He's getting frustrated now because Bella only slept with him once and things are not going as he planned. The people he owes money to…will kill him if he doesn't come up with it…_soon_.

"Your daughter was another complication that he didn't expect…and he pretty much hates kids so it was one he was quite unhappy about.

"He wants Bella to move in and she won't nor will she let him touch her anymore. Riley can feel her pulling away, he's losing his shot at the Cullen fortune as well as facing a death sentence from the loan sharks and it's making him careless. He's been playing me and pretending that he wants to be a dad to Rachel…but he doesn't. I caught him fucking his partner, Victoria, in his house in Forks. He never would have brought her to the house before because he was afraid of being caught…but he is becoming very sloppy out of fear. I've had my suspicions about them…but now it's confirmed.

"I went off on him and he went ballistic. He told me I'd ruined everything. He's always been verbally abusive…but he had never hit me…until _today_. Fury is overtaking him because his entire plan is falling apart around him."

I was in shock…I almost felt as if this were a dream…or my ears were deceiving me.

"Let me get this straight. That fucker…_planned_ this…he set us up? He is after my money…through Bella?" She nodded solemnly.

I had a few more questions about certain things.

"I don't understand if you were in love with Riley, why you would continue to sleep with me?"

She looked away bashfully.

_Now was not the time to act shy, Lauren._

"We didn't sleep together every time we were together," she said quietly.

"_Excuse me_?"

"Edward, you liked your alcohol…_a lot_…I just continued to feed you the drink once we were together and then you would usually end up passing out. I had to make sure you thought I loved you and wanted a relationship or Riley would have been angry. But I really didn't want to sleep with you…all I ever wanted was Riley."

This was insane…I could have sworn we were having sex. Was I really so drunk and delusional when I was drinking that in my mind I had actually slept with her every time? What the fuck?

"Wait…are you serious? How many times have we _actually_ slept together?"

"Twice," she shrugged.

"_Twice_?" I repeated.

She nodded.

"And I gave you several blow jobs and the one time you tried to go down on me…" she trailed off as I put my hand up to stop her.

I did not need any more details. I remembered the oral details enough on my own…because some of them happened in my car…that I had to get rid of once I was sober.

Once everything I had done hit me full force, there was no way I could ever have Charley in a car that Lauren was in. Thankfully, I was able to get a new Volvo before Charley arrived.

I was still reeling from everything she was telling me.

"What about the condoms that I was going through?"

"I threw them away to make you think we were using them."

I could not believe this. I was still a cheater…but I had only slept with this woman twice? How the hell did my mind fuck everything up so badly?

"I don't understand why he would want you to sleep with me if you were his girlfriend."

"He never gave a damn about me…I was his pawn and I was too blind to see it. He hoped that if you were screwing me you would fall in love or something. Plus, if you were actually having sex with me…it would hurt Bella more and keep the two of you apart."

"That night at the bar…when you came to pick me up…" I started.

She interrupted me shaking her head. "The PI was following you…he called Riley and told him you were at a bar. Riley instructed me to go get you. You never called me Edward…I made that up. I was instructed to get you home and seduce you. But…you were a mess when we got to your house.

"You were crying…sobbing actually…and it broke my heart. I had always liked you as a person…I didn't want to hurt you…but I would have done _anything_ for Riley. I loved him so much. All you could do was mumble about how you needed Bella…everything was wrong without Bella. You didn't want to go on living without her.

"I told Riley that I tried to get you to sleep with me and you wouldn't. The truth was…I couldn't bring myself to even try because you were hurting. I slept in the guest room and then made sure to go back in before you woke up to plant the seed of doubt in your head. I knew it wouldn't be hard to make you think we slept together…or at least that you _tried_ to sleep with me."

That was why I was still fully clothed and I did not even have the slightest memory of calling her from the bar.

_Next time check your phone, asshole._

"What about the next night? The night that I kissed you…I remember doing that. What happened after?"

"You passed out after crying on my shoulder about needing Bella back. I called Riley and told him what happened. I was supposed to get you to sleep with me again that night…and then Riley would show up with the divorce papers. He would see us together and be able to go back and tell Bella what he saw. He knew that would end any chance of reconciliation between you two if we were sleeping together while you were telling her you wanted her back."

"We never slept together on either of those occasions?" I asked her.

She shook her head no.

"When I told Riley that you passed out on me again, he was furious. He instructed me to be at the house, in your shirt, and for me to make sure he saw me like that when he arrived with the papers."

I remembered that morning…he said he was there because Bella was not going to send the papers yet…but then she heard my message and insisted that they be given to me immediately.

_The message._

Suddenly I had flashes in my mind.

I was drunk and slurring…talking into my phone.

_**You are one fucked up lying bitch, aren't you?**_

_**I guess it's a good thing you want a divorce because…guess what? I totally fucked Lauren again last night…yep I sure as hell did…and it was hot.**_

_**She makes me feel so needed and loved…like you **__used__** to do. But you stopped loving and wanting me a long time ago.**_

Oh…my…god…I had actually said those awful things to her.

How could she even stand to look at me?

All of the progress I had made throughout my recovery so far was about to go out the window…because I was livid…with myself…with Lauren…with Riley…with the whole fucked up situation.

I wanted a drink…_badly_. These feelings were crushing down on me and I did not know what to do with them.

I knew it was still _my_ choice to fuck Lauren…but this was unbelievable that Bella and I both were set up this way.

I needed to hit _something_.

No…I needed to _hurt_…someone.

This was ending now!

I thanked Lauren for her information, told her good luck and showed her to the door.

As I looked at my watch, I knew that Riley should be at work and that was exactly where I headed. I hoped that he was not out for lunch.

I made my way into the fucker's office. There were three lawyers at the firm. When I walked through the front door, the receptionist was not there. Instead, there was a sign on her desk that said she was out to lunch.

_Perfect_.

I hoped that both of his partners were out to lunch as well.

There was a crack in his office door and I should not have been surprised at what I saw…but for some reason I was.

_Probably because this was supposed to be a place of business. _

What I saw was Victoria Bennett bent over Riley's desk being nailed by him from behind. It was hard and rough. He was pulling her hair and smacking her ass as he pounded her. If he did this shit to my wife when they had sex…he was going to die a slow and painful death!

I punched the door open with my fist. They both jumped and stood there looking at me as if I were stupid.

"Get the fuck out of here!" Victoria screamed at me as she tried to cover herself.

I didn't give Riley a chance to even pull up his fucking pants. They were still down around his ankles as I threw him up against the wall, gripping him by his shirt.

"You are going to stay away from my wife and my daughter…do you fucking understand me? I had an interesting chat with Lauren this morning. I'm on my way to tell Bella…everything. You're done, douchebag!"

I was walking away…for _now_. I had to get to Bella and tell her what I just walked in on and what Lauren told me.

I pulled him away from the wall and threw him to the floor.

He _smiled_ at me…fucking _smiled_.

"I've been there for Bella, when you weren't. She's _crazy_ about me. I just treated her like crap…on her birthday no less…and all I had to do was send her an apology text…flash my smile…tell her I loved her…and be nice to that fucking brat of yours and I had wormed my way right back in."

The anger was consuming my body when I heard him speak of Charley that way…I was trying my damndest to control it. I would not go to jail and be taken away from my daughter because of this vile fucker.

"Therefore my friend, she will _never_ believe you. You look like the jealous ex-husband…and that's all you are…the ex-husband. And you know…she really should have a little more self-respect…the way I talked to her last weekend…I would have dumped my ass…but you really fucked that girl up Cullen."

I was not going to listen to anymore of this.

"She will believe me! I'll have proof."

I fished around in my pockets for my cell phone because I was going to take pictures of Riley and Victoria in their state of undress right now.

Fuck! I left it in the goddamn car! I always had that thing with me!

He stood up from the floor while holding his nose that was still bleeding and wiping at his bloody mouth before pulling up his pants finally.

"Aw, too bad, I guess you'll just have to try and convince her with your _words_." Riley taunted.

Was he fucking five? He was getting his ass kicked if he kept running his mouth.

"You can go run and try to tell her everything you 'know' but when all is said and done…she won't believe you…and I will be the one warming her bed tonight. She's pretty hot, hunh? She's no Victoria…but I must say for squeezing out a kid…she is really fucking _tight_…"

That was it…I could not let him finish that sentence.

I lunged towards him and started pounding into his face tackling him back to the floor. When I heard Victoria calling the police, I took off from the office…but not before landing a final shot to his gut and kick to his groin.

I know they say never kick a man while he is down…well I say fuck that…that pond scum was no man! He was a fucking monster!

I rushed back to my car as quickly as possible.

It would not do me any good to be arrested.

As I made my way to Bella's, I cursed my stupidity. I should have taken my fucking phone in with me and snapped pictures before I busted in on them.

I did not want to admit it but that asshole was right, she was never going to believe me…because she could not trust me. I had broken that.

I barreled through the front door scaring the shit out of Bella and Charley.

"I'm sorry…but I have to talk to you," I rushed.

"What is it, Edward? What's wrong?" She asked in a panic.

"I just walked in on Riley having sex at the office with Victoria. It's all been a set up. He's the father of Lauren's baby. They were trying to split us up to get their hands on the Cullen fortune. Bella you have to believe me! He even paid someone to follow you and to shoot Charlie!"

She was biting her lip and looking at me with fury in her eyes.

"Is there no limit to how low you will go, Edward? I don't appreciate you coming here and spewing all these lies! I know Riley is not perfect…but that's okay…we're working on it. I don't need you coming here like the jealous ex-husband trying to protect me!"

"I'm not jealous! Okay, I am but that's not the point! Look, Lauren said…"

"Get out!"

"But…baby…"

"_**GET OUT**_! You have mentioned that whore's name in my home now not once but _twice_…get the fuck out and don't come back until you are ready to be honest…and until I have calmed down! If you think I will believe _anything_ that little tramp says you are _sorely_ mistaken!"

It was obvious she was not going to listen to me.

I dodged around her to kiss Charley quickly on the head. I never left her without kissing her.

It killed me because she looked at me as if she could not understand why I was leaving.

As I made my way home, I tried to come up with a plan to expose Riley.

There had to be a way.

Before Lauren left earlier, she had given me her cell number in case something went wrong when I confronted Riley. Initially, I threw it away. I found myself digging it out of the trash and dialing.

"Hello?" She answered.

"Lauren, it's Edward. I caught Riley and Victoria together. I went to Bella with all that I know but she didn't believe me because I didn't have proof."

"Then we'll have to get some. I won't let him get away with this. If he thinks he can dump me and just abandon our daughter…he has another thing coming. I want him to know what it's like to have the rug pulled out from under him. I'll get you your proof. I'll be in touch," she said ending the call.

I prayed she knew what she was doing.

I had to get that fucker out of Charley's life…and Bella's.

Feeling weak and on edge, I got back in my car and drove. I was sitting outside of a liquor store when I dialed James's cell number.

"Hey, Edward what's up?"

"I'm sitting outside of a liquor store. You won't even believe everything that has fucking happened to me today, J. I just need one drink…please just let me have one goddamn drink and make this pain go away," I cried into the phone.

"Ed, I'm in Port Angeles, at the diner where T works. I want you to pull out of that parking lot and come straight here. Do you understand me? Do not go into that store! You've got your pictures of Charley, right?"

"Yes," I told him.

"Okay, look at those, repeat your words and drive here…right now!"

I pulled out all the pictures that I had at my disposal and laid them in the passenger seat. It was if I had my little girl right there next to me while I drove to Port Angeles.

_Charley deserves a father who is sober._

_Bella deserves a man who can be there for her and be strong._

_You deserve a happy, sober life._

When I finally arrived at the diner, James met me out at the car.

"Did you go in?"

"No, I came straight here."

"Good job, Ed. I'm proud of you, man. You're doing great. Charley would be proud of her dad. Come on…T is getting some food together for us."

"That's nice of her," I smiled at him.

"What can I say? My lady is an angel…she puts up with me, doesn't she?" He grinned like a fool.

As soon as I walked through the door, Tanya walked over and gave me a big friendly hug.

"You looked like you really needed one of those."

"Thanks, Tanya. I did."

She led James and me over to a booth in the back before going back to the kitchen to retrieve our meal.

"Tell me everything," James said.

"I don't even know where to start. So many things were revealed to me today and nothing was as I thought it was."

"Why don't we start at the beginning?" He smiled.

I nodded and repeated everything Lauren had told me.

It felt good to get everything out to someone who believed me and would listen. I only wished that Bella would listen to me soon…for her own good.

Hopefully, Lauren would get the proof we needed and we would be able to bring Riley down and put him away for a very long time.

_**A/N…There you have it…many revelations in this chapter.**_

_**First, this chapter is in honor of the anniversary of September 11**__**th**__**. My thoughts and prayers are with everyone. I know that everyone was affected by that day but especially those who lost loved ones…my heart goes out to you all.**_

_**Second, since I won't be updating again until Wednesday…Happy Birthday to Bella Swan. I know she's not real but she deserves a birthday greeting anyway. **_

_**Now, I am sure the ladies over in the Twilighted thread will be having some sort of ass kicking party for Riley, so if you would like to join, please feel free. LOL They have been waiting for this.**_

_**http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=10046**_

_**As always, thank you to my lovely beta dolphin62598 and my fabulous pre-reader teacher1209.**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of the next chapter from BPOV. That also happens to be the anniversary party chapter. Now what oh what will be going down with those Cullens at their party this year? **_

_**Don't forget to check out the picture website if you want to see pics from the story. Added after this chapter will be a pic of Charley's room at Edward's, Bella's wedding dress from their wedding and Edward's new Volvo.**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Witness Protection__** by **__twicrack83_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5884677/14/Witness_Protection**_

**oHo**


	26. Conflicting Emotions

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**Song for this Chapter: You will want to listen for the full effect at the anniversary party. **_

_**All I Need by Within Temptation…you can listen here: **_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=tKJkgawDfEk**_

Chapter 25

BPOV

_**Thursday September 17, 2009: Age 26**_

Edward had a lot of nerve coming here and making the accusations about Riley that he did!

Ever since the incident on my birthday, Riley had been awesome. He apologized in the text message and told me about being in love with me. He even came over and apologized in person as well. He even stayed later than normal the night he came to talk to me and fed Charley for me so I could do some writing.

He seemed as if he was really making an attempt with her. I knew he would grow to love her as I did…how could he not?

I explained to him that I felt we moved too fast with the physical part of our relationship and he told me that he understood. He assured me he would not pressure me for sex and it would be up to me to let him know when I was ready again.

I had come to the decision that I should give Riley a second chance. I did not want to throw a potentially good thing away because of my insecurities.

How dare Edward come in here and spew out those ridiculous things about him! For him to even have the _nerve_ to utter that skank's name in my presence again.

I wanted to strangle him!

Charlie found me pacing a hole in the living room floor when he came home. Edward had only been gone for about thirty minutes. I put Charley down for a nap right after he left and was trying to think my way through things.

"What's going on Bells?" My father questioned.

Before I could answer, I heard two car doors shut and footsteps running towards the house.

"Bella! Has Edward been here?" Riley asked in a panicked voice.

"Yeah…you just missed him…about thirty minutes ago. Oh my God, Riley! What happened to your face?"

He had a huge shiner over his left eye, his nose was clearly broken, he had a fat lip and Victoria was with him. Why was she here?

"Bella, Riley and I were having lunch in his office when Edward barged in acting like a crazy person! He lunged for Riley and immediately attacked him without any warning! He was screaming at him for taking you away from him…he said he was going to kill him for having sex with you."

That did sound like Edward and his possessive ways.

"Bells, it was awful! I had to file a police report and everything. He fled from the building before they arrived…but I am still pressing charges. I think he was drunk!"

He was not drunk when he was here…there was no way…and I knew he would not have sobered up so quickly. Riley had to be mistaken…and I could not let him press charges.

If he went to jail…Charley would be distraught without her daddy.

"No! You can't do that! They'll take him to jail!" I pleaded.

"That is exactly where that monster belongs! Bella think about your daughter!" Victoria said sternly.

"Yes, Bella…he has no business here. I am staying here indefinitely. I don't want him around you or Charley. He is a threat!"

My dad had been silent up until this point.

"Now wait just a goddamn minute! Edward may be many things…but a bad father is not one of them! I'm not going to stand here and let you tell my daughter that she cannot allow her child's father around her! He would never lay a hand on Bella and especially not Charley. She is perfectly safe with her dad."

"Charlie, I understand what you are saying. Believe me I do…but please…you did not see the look in his eyes as I did. He was crazed! It takes a lot to scare me…and I was _terrified_! Please…consider the safety of your girls," Riley tried to reason with my father.

This was all giving me a headache. "Riley, can I talk to you alone, please?"

He nodded as my father and Victoria made their way into the kitchen to give us some privacy. I pulled him over to sit with me on the couch.

"Listen, I'm sorry that Edward barged into your office like that…and that he said what he did…and that he hit you. But, I am begging you…if you love me as you claim to…please don't press charges against him. Charley _needs_ him, Riley. Please…for my daughter…don't do this to her father. Allow me to deal with him. I promise he won't hurt me…and he won't do anything like that to you ever again…let me talk to him and find out what is going on with him now."

He grasped my hands gently in his. "All right, Sweets, for you…I won't press charges. However, if he comes at me like that again babe, all bets are off."

"Agreed," I told him.

I was not even going to ask Riley about the accusations Edward made against him and Victoria. Edward was delusional and jealous. Just because he cheated…did not mean Riley was that way as well.

There was no way fate would be cruel enough to have the only two men I had ever been with…cheat on me…no I refused to believe that.

Riley took Victoria home before going back to his office to clean up the mess Edward had made. He was going straight home after that and told me he would be at the house to pick me up for the party tomorrow.

I was excited to have a whole night out.

Of course, we were staying in the hotel, which meant Riley was more than likely going to expect sex…but he did promise not to pressure me any more so perhaps he would let it go.

I was curled in my bed trying to fall asleep when my dad knocked on the door. I told him to come in and he immediately went to the crib to check on his granddaughter.

"She looks so much like you," he said.

"She has Edward's eyes," I countered.

"Yes…that she does…but she is the reincarnation of her mother."

I shook my head at him. "Okay, Dad…whatever you say."

He sat down at the edge of my bed and patted my foot. "What exactly was Edward's version of what happened today?" He asked nonchalantly.

I explained to him what Edward told me.

He fidgeted with his moustache a bit and then said, "And you are one-hundred percent sure that there is not a shred of truth to _anything_ that Edward told you?"

"Um…no…Dad…it's _Edward_. He's a liar…remember? He can't be trusted."

Charlie put his hands up defensively, "Hey, I know, I know. I'm not the president of the boy's fan club or anything…it's just…you can't fake being the kind of father that he is. I watched that young man go from being one of the most selfish men I have ever met…to turning into a complete pile of goo around his daughter.

"That kid would jump in front of a bullet for that little girl," he said motioning to the crib. "I'm pretty certain he would for you too. I'm sure he knows it's in his best interest not to lie to you ever again. Anyway, it's just something for you to think about…okay?"

I nodded. He stood up, kissed my forehead and left the room.

I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep…pushing the words my father had said out of my mind.

My dad meant well…but I could not allow myself for one second to even consider that Edward might be telling the truth.

_**Saturday September 19, 2009: Age 26**_

Alice called this morning and asked me if I could come to the hotel early so she and Rose could help me get ready. It sounded like a good idea to me. I called Riley and told him to just meet me there instead of picking me up at my dad's house.

At first, I told Alice that I was thinking about simply telling Riley that I did not want him to come to the party because of everything going on with Edward. I expressed my feelings that I should probably take tonight to discuss what happened in his office with Edward. But she was freaking out when I said that. She told me that I should definitely bring Riley.

I had not realized that she even liked him. She told me that if he were important to me then tonight would be a great opportunity for everyone to get to know him better. I hoped that was the truth she was not trying some desperate attempt to make Edward jealous or playing some kind of game like that.

There was no telling when it came to Alice.

It was difficult to pull myself away from Charley but I knew she was safe with Sue and my dad.

I was halfway to Seattle when Charlie called to ask me if it was all right if he allowed Edward to say goodbye to Charley before he headed this way.

I told him that it was fine but to warn Edward I was on the warpath where he was concerned and would be having a word or two with him when I saw him at the party.

When I arrived at the hotel, Alice and Rose were relentless with their Bella Barbie antics. I could not believe how amazing I looked in the dress Alice picked out for me.

My hair had grown back out a while ago and instead of keeping it super long, as it used to be…I now kept it right at my shoulders.

They curled my hair and then put it up in a ponytail but it was a little fancier than my normal ponytail since my hair was curly and pretty right now.

It was not held together with a scrunchy or anything like that either…they put a cute little clip in it that was hidden by most of my hair. I loved it.

While they finished working on me, we discussed Rose's pregnancy. Everything was going smoothly and she was thrilled.

She told me that Emmett had started going to therapy with the rest of the Cullens and I was glad to hear that. I hoped their family would be stronger than ever after all was said and done.

There was a knock on the hotel room door after I had finished getting ready. It was Esme and she stayed while the girls excused themselves to go get ready in Alice and Jasper's room.

"Wow, you look amazing Bella."

"Thanks, Esme," I told her.

"You're attending the party with Riley, is that correct?" She asked me.

"Yes," I answered.

"I see…I just wanted to let you know…Edward isn't bringing a date."

"Okay."

I was not sure why she was telling me this.

"Come sit with me," she said. She sat down on the couch in the main part of the hotel room. I obliged and sat down beside her.

She took my hand gently in hers and placed soothing circles on the palm…just as my mom used to do when she wanted to discuss a tough subject with me.

"Bella, I can't tell you what to do, sweetie but I would like to share some things with you. When a man cheats on his wife or vice versa, only the person who has been cheated on can decide what feels right in their heart. No one else can influence you or tell you what you should do.

"I know you say that you are going to move on with Riley and you will never get back with my son. I understand that, I really do. Would it be all right if I shared with you some of my thoughts and feelings after Carlisle cheated on me?"

I nodded.

"First, I asked myself if I could walk away from our relationship. We were much like you and Edward…friends since we were small children. I had to ask myself if I could throw away that many years of friendship and love…plus we had three children together. Did I want to throw away our family?

"Now, I am sure you're thinking that he threw them away first by cheating to begin with. Things are _never_ that simple Bella. Yes, they cheated. Yes, they broke our marriage vows…and I realize it's different with Edward than it was with Carlisle…but I've learned many things about myself during all of my therapy sessions years ago...and even now during our current ones.

"I've learned that instead of talking to my husband about my fears and insecurities while we were trying to conceive Emmett…I pushed him away and focused only on getting pregnant. We were fighting all the time during that part of our life because we were not communicating.

"Carlisle did not stray then…but it did put a strain on our relationship. That led to wounds being re-opened when all the stress with my second pregnancy happened. My husband and I both know that what he did was wrong…but I can accept and admit the things that I did to contribute to our marital problems."

Wow…she was a strong woman to be able to admit to that. I was not sure if I could…a part of me knew that I had pushed Edward away and had been awful to him at times while we were trying to get pregnant…hell even _before_ that if I was being honest.

"You see…I was not completely innocent. I treated Carlisle horribly…and it was not a case of him overreacting. He was exhausted from school and work…but when he got home…he still _tried_ to help me with Emmett…the twins…the house…anything. I was so stressed that I would scream and yell at him to leave us alone.

"I told him I didn't want his help because I would have to go back and redo everything because he could do nothing right. I would not even kiss him because most of the time I was furious with him for putting us in this position."

I remembered yelling at Edward like that sometimes. When we were both in school, he came home from class and always asked if I needed any help around the house. I usually told him no but when he did try to do something to help, I would yell at him for it because it was not done the way that I wanted.

He did that all the time before he would go study for the night…until finally…he _stopped_. I guessed he was tired of me getting mad at him for his help and decided to stop trying.

Why was I like that?

Esme continued.

"I blamed him for our struggles because he got me pregnant again when we were not planning on it. Things were already difficult…our financial situation did not get better until later, after he finished school. Then, his father saw that he was able to become a doctor while raising a family and he decided he didn't hate me so much. Carlisle was then granted access to his trust fund and all the Cullen money. It was right before his father died. His mother had passed away while he was still in medical school."

As soon as she said that…I realized…the feelings were so clear to me…one of the main reasons why I pushed Edward away…I _blamed_ him…not for getting me pregnant…but because he _couldn't_.

How could I do that to him? Why did I put the blame on him? That wasn't fair to him…he was always sweet…understanding…always putting up with my crap after every negative pregnancy test.

Why did he stay with me when I was so awful to him?

I listened closely to the rest of what Esme had to say.

"I realize it takes two people to make a baby…we were both responsible for getting pregnant because we were not being careful…we let our hormones control us…and I can see that now. But at the time, I felt nothing but anger towards him. I called him atrocious things…I was not a good wife. I blamed him for me being home with the children while he was out living his dream.

"He says and we learned this in therapy…that those are not excuses to cheat. I truly believe Carlisle knows this…and I believe that he is sorry for hurting me…as he knows I'm sorry for the hurt that I caused him as well. The bottom line is, I love him with all of my heart…and I damn well know that he feels the same about me.

"We have three beautiful children…an amazing granddaughter and another grandchild on the way. I've spent thirty-one years with that man…and I don't regret my decision to give him another chance. I never have…and I _never_ will.

"The therapy helped us immensely and things were better. We still struggled but we dealt with our problems better…except of course…Edward. I insisted on stopping therapy when our therapist suggested that we were coddling Edward too much because of our guilt. At that time, we were not strong enough in our relationship to stop therapy. Looking back, I wish that we would have continued…things might have turned out differently with Edward.

"I can't believe we missed the signs for so long about his drinking problem. Listening to my son speak in therapy sessions about how much he drank…how often…and _why_…since he was sixteen…we were completely blind to things happening to our child…in our own house. Carlisle and I treated the way we did, in the hope that he would see how much we loved him…but all it did was make him feel as if we didn't. That is our cross to bear…and we will regret our actions or lack of…always.

"I know that Edward hurt you…and I don't think you guys should be together _right now_. The divorce was a good idea. Your situation was very different from mine. My son needed to get help…he had a drinking problem that none of us saw. He would never have taken the step to get that help if you had not divorced him. He might have gone on to become a doctor…which he did not truly want…and most likely he would have drank himself to death before we noticed.

"I hate that it took all of these awful things to bring us to where we are today…but I am thankful Edward is getting help. Our family sessions have been wonderful…I feel that they are bringing us all closer together. You know…Charley is a part of our family…and no matter what happens between you and Edward in the future…you will always be a part of our family as well. I think it would be a good idea for you to come to some of these sessions if you can."

She stopped talking for a bit and after a brief pause; I was finally able to speak. I had a hard time finding my voice after sitting and listening to her words.

In my heart, I knew that I wanted to go to therapy with them…with Edward…it was the right decision…for me…and for our daughter.

"I would like that. I agree with Edward that he and I should attend some therapy sessions together in order to be better parents to Charley. I never want her to see us lash out at each other…as I know we are capable of doing."

"That's smart, Bella. You're an excellent mother…never doubt that."

I had to ask her something before we went down to that party.

"Esme, were you telling me that story because you think Edward and I are like you and Carlisle…that perhaps we could one day reconcile as well…or did you tell me all of that because you know there is no hope for Edward and I?"

I wasn't sure why I was asking that since I knew I would never take Edward back…and I was…with Riley now anyway.

_Right? I wanted Riley…not Edward. _

She smiled softly, "Oh honey…there is _always_ hope…for _anything_…you just have to have faith…your beautiful little girl is proof of that. She is the epitome of what happens when people love each other as you two do…I'm sorry…as you once did."

I nodded because I did not want to say what I was thinking.

_I still loved him…I always would._

_He owned my heart._

There was a slight knock on the door before Rose and Alice entered the room.

"Hey, you ladies are taking forever…let's go get this party started," Rose said.

Esme and I stood from the couch. She gave me a hug and we made our way over to where Alice and Rose were standing in front of the door.

"How did you even get in here Alice?" I asked.

She held up the key card.

"I booked the rooms therefore I have the keys," she said with a smile.

I shook my head at her and the four of us linked arms and headed down to the banquet room. "Let's go my daughters…this party has _got_ to be better than last year's," Esme joked.

We made our way into the banquet room and Alice had definitely outdone herself. I knew that Esme had helped of course, but she let Alice take the reins for the most part.

Jasper and Emmett were standing just inside the doorway waiting for their wives.

"Wow…just wow…you all look…I can't even describe…beautiful does not seem like a strong enough word," Jasper said.

Emmett came up and wrapped me in his arms enveloping me in one of his massive bear hugs. "How are you, sis? I miss you girl. Seattle isn't the same without you. Any chance you might move back and bring my adorable little niece closer to her favorite uncle?" He asked with a smirk.

Jasper punched him in the shoulder playfully after Emmett had released me. "Hey! _I'm_ Charley's favorite uncle thank you very much!"

"Nope…sorry that title is reserved for her Uncle Em," Emmett laughed.

"All right now, I would like to find my husband and start celebrating our anniversary," Esme said.

We saw Carlisle standing in front of the stage talking to the band that was almost ready to start playing. Not many people had arrived yet.

As we all started walking towards him, Jasper pulled me back gently. He hugged me and then pushed me out in front of him to get a good look at me.

"My brother is going to flip when he sees you!" He smiled.

"I didn't do this for Edward, Jazz…you know that."

He nodded, "Okay then, that Riley guy is going to flip when he sees you," he said.

"Yeah…I'm sure he'll like it."

"Are you doing okay, Bells? I mean…_really_ doing okay?"

"I'm fine…now go be with your wife! She keeps looking over this way and I'm sure she wants her husband to dance with her."

He quickly kissed me on the cheek and practically ran to Alice. I remembered when Edward and I were that giddy to see one another.

Alice and Jasper had been together as long as we had…where the hell did we go wrong?

After thinking about everything Esme had said to me earlier…I could honestly say that things were sour in my marriage long before Edward cheated.

We _both_ stopped communicating.

I _did_ push him away from me…a lot.

Now that I _really_ thought about it…when the fights first started…I had started the majority of them…to get a rise out of him…or purposely make him angry.

Why…_why_ did I do that?

I knew at times, I was angry at his need to control everything…to have everything his way…to never be able to accept the word no.

Why did I go along with it? I should have just put my foot down and been firm with him. Instead…I picked fights, threw tantrums and basically tried to push him out of my life.

Was that a valid reason for cheating? _No_.

Was I ready to forgive Edward? _No_.

He should have talked to me before seeking out sex with someone else.

_He did try to talk to you…you never wanted to listen…ever…you would rather pick a fight with him and throw things._

I told the voice in my head to shut up because I knew it had a point. It was not my fault that he cheated…I knew that. However, I was beginning to see that I did play a part in the deterioration of our marriage.

I was not blameless.

My thoughts were interrupted when I felt a warm body behind me and arms wrapping around my waist. I felt no electricity…no spark…and I sighed in disappointment. It was Riley…not Edward.

I knew that thought should not have even crossed my mind…but I could not help it.

That pretty much gave me the answer to all of my doubts about Riley. I needed to end it…I thought I could give him another chance…but it was too soon.

I was not ready for this. He was my boyfriend and I could not even bring myself to have sex with the man. I wanted Edward…and I was not even sure if I would ever be able to be with Edward again…but I had to see if it were possible.

Until I truly tried to start therapy and evaluate if Edward and I could be together again or not…I would not be able to be in a relationship with someone else.

It was not fair to Riley…my daughter…or myself.

"You look incredibly hot right now…do we have to stay here? Let's go up to our room…because I don't think I can keep my hands off you," he breathed into my ear.

It sent a shudder down my spine…and not in a good way. I was not having sex with him…not tonight…never again. Even if things did not work out with Edward, I wasn't sure I could be with Riley, the more I thought about it.

I gently pulled my body out of his arms. "Nope, sorry. I need to stay."

"I don't understand why we're here, Sweets. This is your _ex_-_husband's_ family."

"Yes, well Carlisle and Esme are like a second set of parents to me and I will stay to support them. If you don't want to be here…the door is that way," I said as I pointed to the door of the banquet room.

His attitude at times was really beginning to piss me off and irritate me to no end.

"Hey, I'm sorry Bells. I'll stay…_we'll_ stay. I forgot how important they are to you. Please forgive me," he pouted.

After that, I let him pull me onto the dance floor and in my head; I was trying to work through how I was going to break up with him kindly.

Riley was not right for me, but I still felt he was a good person…he had done a lot for me so it was not my intent to hurt him.

As I watched the happy couples dance around me, I longed for my husband.

I knew we were divorced but in my heart…he would always be my husband…even if he ever remarried.

I missed him terribly.

Being around him as much as I was because of Charley, made it that much harder.

"Well look who just got here," I hear Riley say.

My eyes focused on where he was looking and I saw Edward finally arriving to the party. He looked…_delicious_.

That was the only word I could think to use to describe how wonderful he looked. I felt my heart skip a beat and my breathing picked up a bit.

"Are you alright? I won't let him hurt you. But you're still going to talk to him about his ridiculous behavior in my office, right?"

I fought the urge to roll my eyes…Riley actually thought Edward was going to hurt me physically. I was not sure about what happened in his office on Thursday but…I knew that Edward would never physically hurt Charley or me.

I nodded but said nothing.

The band started playing their next song and I recognized it immediately. It was a beautiful song that I had only discovered a short time ago. I thought it had been out for a while but I had heard it for the first time the other day. It made me think of Edward.

It was called _All I Need_ by the band _Within Temptation_.

The beating of my heart started to race…I stopped moving in Riley's arms as I saw Edward walking towards us. There was an ache…a longing in my chest that I could not deny.

"_I'm dying to catch my breath…oh why don't I ever learn_? _I've lost all my trust though I've_ _surely tried to turn it around_." The woman sang.

When Edward reached us, he did not even look at Riley. It appeared Riley was a little afraid of Edward because he simply stepped aside. "May I?" Edward asked me.

I simply nodded and allowed him to take me into his arms.

"_Can you still see the heart of me? All my agony fades away…when you hold me in your embrace_," the singer continued.

I closed my eyes and breathed in his scent for a moment. It felt incredible to be in his arms once again…even if it were only for this song.

When I opened them again, I saw him staring back at me. His gaze was intense and I felt as if he was looking directly into my essence.

We did not stop looking into each other's eyes as we danced around the room. He held me as close as he could while still being able to look at my face.

"_Don't tear me down…for all I need. Make my heart a better place…give me something I can believe. Don't tear me down. You've opened the door now…don't let it close._"

I loved the lyrics in this song. When there was a brief instrumental part between lyrics Edward leaned his head down to my ear and whispered, "You look exquisite tonight my lo…_Isabella_…absolutely breathtaking."

He was the only person I ever enjoyed calling me by my full name and he knew exactly how it always made me feel to hear him say it.

I knew he was going to call me his love and when he pulled his lips away from my ear I could see the pain and yearning in his eyes.

"_I'm here on the edge again…I wish I could let it go. I know that I'm only one step away…from turning around_."

We had never moved more in harmony with one another. This dance was amazing…and it felt as if all eyes were on us.

"_I've tried many times but nothing was real. Make it fade away…don't break me down. I want to believe that this is for real…save me from my fear…don't tear me down."_

The words to this song could have been ripped directly from my soul.

There was a stinging sensation of electricity flowing through my body because Edward had his hands on me. Even though we were only dancing, it felt more intimate than that.

Throughout the remainder of the song, we pressed our foreheads together…bringing our connection even closer.

When the music stopped, the lead singer announced they were going to take a short break. It was then that I noticed we were in the center of the dance floor and everyone _had_ been watching us.

Riley was storming over to us and he appeared to be _fuming_.

Edward leaned in and quickly whispered, "Please get rid of him and meet me out in the lobby. _Please_ Bella…I need to talk to you…and I prefer to do it privately. I know I messed up the other day…I am begging you to let me explain. I know it appears that I am always asking that of you…but I have the _proof_ you will need to believe me about Riley."

He softly kissed my cheek and disappeared through a crowd of people.

Riley reached me and did not even try to contain his anger. "What the fuck was that, Bella? You two were practically humping each other on the dance floor! Everyone saw how erotic that dance was!"

"Excuse me? Who the hell do you think you are talking to me like this, _Riley_? I think you should calm down and come find me when you can speak to me with respect!"

I started to walk away from him but he grabbed my arm. He looked crazed…and in that moment…I was actually frightened of him. Who was this man? As much as Edward had hurt me…I had never been scared of him…in my entire life.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going, _Bella_?" he seethed.

"I need to go talk to Edward…and apparently get some space from you!"

"I don't want you talking to him! I've told you what he did in my office. I told you that I don't want him near you or Charley…why won't you do as I say?"

"Because you are not the boss of me! I've already dealt with one selfish, controlling asshole! You've seen what I've been through! Why are you acting like this, Riley? What has gotten into you?"

"I…don't know…I _love_ you…I don't want to lose you. Let's run away together…right _now_…we need to get away from Edward…he interferes with everything!"

"That is crazy! I'm not running away with you. What are we twelve? I have a life here…responsibilities…and I would never take Charley away from Edward. He is her father! We have discussed this before. This is over between us! I can't take anymore of your petty crap!"

"You don't mean that Bella…I know you don't. I love you…I was there for you when he wasn't. I would never hurt you the way he did…please you have to believe me."

I was completely frustrated with this man…and I needed to get away.

"I'm going…don't follow me! We are finished!" I said sharply.

I did not wait for his response. I made my way through the banquet room and quickly found the exit.

Edward was waiting for me in the lobby…and I desperately needed to know what he had to say.

_**A/N…Sorry to leave you hanging but I had to split it somewhere. **_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of the next chapter from EPOV.**_

_**Thank you to dolphin62598 for editing and teacher1209 for pre-reading.**_

_**Pictures from this chapter can be seen here:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**Faithfully by LailaB**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5879485/1/Faithfully#**_

_**LOVING this story! It owned me when I first found it!**_

**oHo**


	27. Goodbye Mr Mitchell

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

Chapter 26

EPOV

_**Saturday September 19, 2009: Age 26**_

Things had taken an unexpected turn since yesterday and I was unsure of how everything would play out at the anniversary party tonight.

Last year…I ruined my parent's night…and I was determined not to let that happen this year. I was praying the arrangements I had made would go off without a hitch and keep the drama away from all the partygoers.

Unfortunately…having the police, show up to the anniversary party was the only way that we could think of to catch Riley. I had to have him apprehended before he could hurt my family…the way that he hurt Lauren. When the police asked me if I knew where he would be, I told them about the party tonight. I knew he would be there…so he could be with Bella.

He was losing his grip fast…if only he knew what I had on him. How could he think that he could do what he did to Lauren and walk away without being caught?

I could not believe that Lauren was in the hospital fighting for her life. Riley Mitchell was an evil son of a bitch and I would be damned if he was going to be near my daughter or Bella any longer.

Lauren was a pawn in his game, just as I was…and I played right into his hands by giving into temptation and sleeping with her in the first place.

Last night was another night of many where I felt that I was going to choke if I did not have a drink…but Charley helped me as she always does.

I looked at her picture and took strength from her beautiful, tiny face. I chanted my mantra in my head.

_You don't need booze._

_Charley deserves a better father._

_Bella needs you strong…and sober._

_You deserve a better life. _

After everything happened last night, I sat with Rachel in the waiting room because she was just a little baby and had no one until Lauren's mom could get there.

Once she arrived, I explained what had happened. Beth Mallory blamed all of this on me…and I took every angry word she said because I had played my part.

If I had found another way to expose Riley, Lauren would not be in that hospital bed right now.

Even though I did not have romantic feelings for Lauren, she was still a human being and I did not want little Rachel to be left without a mother…especially when her father was a monster.

_**Flashback**_

_**Lauren called me yesterday and told me she was setting Riley up. She had a hidden camcorder set up at her apartment and she was going to get him to talk about everything. **_

_**My gut feeling told me that she should not be there with him alone…his reaction at the law office proved how twisted he was. If the loan sharks were coming after him, I had a feeling he would do just about anything to make his plan work.**_

_**Unfortunately, Lauren did not want me there. She wanted to handle it on her own. **_

_**I was sitting in a coffee shop down the street from her apartment building waiting for her to call me and tell me it was over. I was supposed to come over and get the camcorder tape after she threw Riley out.**_

_**Even though he had hit her once, she did not fear him. She didn't think he would hurt her the way that he did.**_

_**It scared me to death because he had been around Bella and Charley so much. Had he ever put his hands on them that way?**_

_**He would fucking die if he did…there would not be anyone that could hold me back from him if he had laid one hand on Bella or my tiny Charley.**_

_**It was midnight and I still had not heard anything from Lauren.**_

_**I drove to her apartment and when I got there, an ambulance was there as well as several cop cars.**_

_**As I ran towards the building, paramedics were pulling a stretcher from inside. I saw a police officer holding a screaming Rachel in his arms.**_

_**Lauren was on the stretcher, unconscious. I went to the officer holding Rachel and pleaded my case. I explained what was going on with Lauren and her boyfriend. He said the neighbors called the police because they heard screaming from inside the apartment and then everything was quiet.**_

_**I told them about the tape inside that should show them who did this to her…but I already knew the culprit.**_

_**Riley fucking Mitchell.**_

_**I went to the hospital with them only because Rachel had no one until her grandmother arrived…and I felt incredibly guilty that Lauren was in this position.**_

_**I should have been waiting outside or even hiding in another room of the apartment. **_

_**If Lauren did not pull through…Rachel was going to be motherless…because of my need to prove to Bella that Riley was scum.**_

_**After Lauren's mom arrived, the doctor showed up and told us that Lauren was going to pull through…but she would need a lot of recovery time.**_

_**The injuries the doctor described…Riley had basically used her body as a human punching bag. How does a man put his hands on a woman like that?**_

_**I would never understand.**_

_**My blood was boiling and the detective assigned to the case asked if he could speak with me.**_

"_**So, you're the Edward Cullen that they are discussing on the tape?" he asked.**_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**Can I see that tape?" I asked the detective and he obliged.**_

_**As I watched the tape, I did a silent victory dance in my head. Riley had put the final nail in his coffin with his big mouth.**_

_**Lauren did well.**_

_**He detailed everything he had done to set up Bella and me.**_

_**Gotcha!**_

_**The tape also showed how badly he had beaten Lauren. He was angry because she confronted him about me catching him with Victoria. **_

_**Apparently, her anger got the best of her. She should have just let him leave after she got all the information she needed…but she didn't. **_

_**He tried to lie his way out of the Victoria thing and that pissed off Lauren so she told him she was going to come to me and tell me about his plan from the beginning.**_

_**He then told her that if she did that, she would never see Rachel again…and not because he was going to take her away…it would be more permanent than that.**_

_**The fucker was implying…that…he would **_**kill**_** his own daughter!**_

_**It made me sick to my stomach.**_

_**The detective explained that after they viewed the tape, they had been looking for Riley but so far, they had been unable to find him. He had no idea that Lauren was taping what he did…yet apparently, he was still laying low. **_

_**He probably wanted to make sure no one saw him come and go from Lauren's apartment…but I knew…if he truly wanted to get Bella in his clutches…he would never miss the party.**_

_**I told the detective I knew of an exact time and location where they could catch Riley. **_

_**I was only willing to offer the information if I could get a copy of that tape…that I could play back for Bella. She had to know. If the police just showed up and took him away, he would talk his way out of it with her.**_

_**Bella needed to hear what kind of a man he was…and she needed to hear it from me.**_

_**It didn't matter to me that I knew this information would not make her take me back…all I cared about was the safety of her and my daughter.**_

_**That was my only concern.**_

_**This morning I woke up with a new resolve…to get Riley as far away from my family as possible.**_

_**I wanted Riley meeting her at the party…I did not want him coming to Charlie's house to pick her up. Detective Michaels and I agreed that we needed to keep everything as controlled as possible and I wanted the action far away from my Charley.**_

_**I called Alice and asked her to request that Bella come by herself…earlier…so that they could help her get ready. I knew Bella would agree. My sister suggested that she convince Bella not to bring Riley to the party at all. I told Alice that it was imperative he come to the party…and she needed to make sure that Bella did not change her mind about him being her date.**_

_**I hated to say that…but I needed him there…where I could expose him, then the police could catch him. **_

_**Before I could head to the hotel, I had to go to the house to see my baby.**_

_**Charlie fucking had to call Bella to ask her permission for me to be there with my daughter. There was no telling what Riley had told her for Charlie to do that. He knew I was a fuck up as husband but he knew I was a damn good father to that little girl and that I would never hurt her.**_

"_**Sorry, Edward. It's just that after everything that happened Thursday…I need to make sure Bells is okay with this."**_

"_**I understand," I told him honestly. I did understand…but that didn't mean I had to like it.**_

_**After he hung up the phone, he told me that she said it was all right and that he was supposed to tell me that she would be speaking with me about the incident Thursday.**_

_**Fucking great.**_

_**I went up to Bella's room where Char was sleeping. Charlie told me he had just put her down for a nap.**_

_**I looked at her angelic face and smiled. That little girl was beautiful…she was definitely going to break some hearts.**_

_**I placed my hand gently on her small body and softly rubbed. "Sleep peaceful angel. Daddy is going to do everything in his power today to make you safe. I won't let him near you again. I love you so much, Char. I wish I were with you every day. I want to fall asleep while reading to you…or just holding you in my arms. I want to wake up every morning to your cries and get up to feed you. I want to change every gross and disgusting diaper that you have…okay so maybe not all of those…but most of them," I chuckled.**_

_**I breathed in deeply, trying to stop the tears from falling that were pooling in my eyes.**_

"_**I only get to do these things with you when you come to my house…or I'm watching you here for your mom. I swear I would spend every single moment with you if I could, baby. But I can't…because Daddy messed up really badly. He hurt Mommy…and she will probably never forgive him. Please know that even though we are not together…we both love you more than anything in this world. You will always be our number one priority. I love you so much, angel. You are an angel…you know that right? You saved Daddy…you saved me. God, I love you."**_

_**The tears were now falling and I could not stop them. I really wished she were not sleeping…because there was nothing I wanted more in that moment than to hold her.**_

_**I was not selfish Edward anymore though…and it did not matter what I wanted. My angel wanted to sleep…so sleep she would…without her dad disturbing her because he needed a hug.**_

_**As I started wiping my eyes, I turned to leave the room…and saw Charlie standing there.**_

_**Unbelievable…he had heard me again.**_

_**He started walking downstairs and I followed.**_

"_**What is it with you always overhearing all of my mushy ramblings?"**_

_**He shrugged. "I'm just good like that I guess."**_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**I heard everything you know."**_

"_**I figured," I told him.**_

"_**Edward…I'm not one to beat around the bush. Did you really see what you say you saw in Riley's office?"**_

"_**Yes, sir, I did."**_

"_**Son of a bitch…I'm going to ring his neck!" Charlie spat.**_

"_**Sir, there's more to this story than that. The fact that Riley has been sleeping with Victoria…is the least of his crimes."**_

_**I then told him everything from the beginning and even showed him the video I had.**_

_**There had only been a handful of times in my life when I had seen Charlie Swan engulfed with anger and this time topped them all. He was furious.**_

"_**I've been such a fool. I put my daughter and my granddaughter at risk because I thought that bastard was a good guy! I doubted you because of your father's past indiscretions…which yes…you proved me right on that one…but I thought he was decent or I would never have let him near them," he shouted while pacing the living room. **_

"_**I know that Charlie…it's not your fault. He had everyone fooled…and I would have gladly stepped aside to let Bella be happy…if he was who you thought he was. I want her to be happy…that's it."**_

"_**I believe you. Now please go get that punk arrested and keep him from my little girl. I'm counting on you, Cullen."**_

"_**You've got it sir," I said. I headed out of the house and started towards Seattle.**_

_**End Flashback**_

As I paced back and forth in the lobby, I panicked.

I was overtired from being in Seattle until early this morning, driving back to Forks to pick up my clothes for the party and to see Charley, then driving back to Seattle. I still had not been to bed yet. Normally, driving always helped me focus and relax. Unfortunately, six hours of driving on no sleep had done anything but clear my head.

Because of my exhaustion, my thoughts were getting the best of me.

_What if Riley told Bella not to follow me out here? _

_What if she did not want to hear what I had to say?_

I glanced over to the entrance of the hotel and saw Detective Michaels tapping his watch. I knew I was running out of time.

They were going to apprehend Riley _soon_…before he had a chance to get away from them.

Detective Michaels had his men placed strategically all over the premises of the hotel and the banquet room. They blended in as party guests…and no one was the wiser. I had only told my father about what was going down tonight because I wanted him to help me maintain some sort of control over the situation.

He spoke with all the officers and they decided how everything would be handled in an effort to arrest Riley while also maintaining a drama-free night for my parents.

Carlisle did have a way with his words and could charm anyone into doing just about anything for him.

His desire to keep this night amazing for my mother, spoke volumes to me. He fucked up…but he was man enough to admit it.

_Unlike me._

It took Bella almost losing our daughter…because of me…and then my father kicking my ass…for me to be man enough to admit what I did wrong.

The sad part was…even though Bella and I were getting along better…for Charley…we still weren't any closer to fixing _us_…as friends…parents…a couple…anything.

I had come to terms with the fact that Bella would probably never take me back…but I really wanted to have my best friend again.

We deserved that at the very least…and we had to be sure we could be a team for Charley.

I doubted that I would ever find love again…but damn it if I didn't want that for Bella…even if it was not with me.

I wanted her to be…happy…no matter whom she was with…because that was what she deserved.

Yeah…I guess I was _finally_ growing up.

It was amazing how much clearer my thoughts were…how differently I could see things…without alcohol clouding my mind.

"Edward!" I heard Bella yell to me.

I turned and there she was. My stunning angel…well…goddess was more like it the way she looked tonight.

When I first walked into the banquet room and saw her, it was if there was no one else in the room. She was the only one I saw and she astounded me.

Alice had outdone herself with the dress.

But the beauty…that was all Bella.

"Please explain what is going on. You said you have proof about Riley and Victoria…let's see it."

I took a deep breath…this was it. This was going to hurt her and I hated doing it but she had to know.

I pulled the small camcorder out of my pocket.

"I'm sorry Bella…I just want you to know that. I didn't want to be right about him…you have to know that it kills me that you are going to be hurt again."

"Just show me what you have, Edward!"

I turned on the camcorder and pressed play so she could see what was on the tape inside.

I knew what was on the tape…I had already seen it…instead of watching it…I watched her face. I needed to make sure she was all right…I was going to be there for her…if she would let me.

"_Riley, Edward told me he saw you with Victoria!" _

"_Why would he tell you that Lauren? He isn't even supposed to know that we know each other!"_

"_He told me because he was worried about Bella and needed…someone to talk to."_

"_You better not be fucking lying…or you will pay for it…bitch!"_

"_How can you talk to me this way? I'm the mother of your daughter!"_

"_You think I give a shit about that little brat? I fucking hate kids!"_

"_What about your precious Bella? She has a baby too! What are you going to do about her?"_

"_That kid is getting shipped off to boarding school as soon as fucking possible…I don't do kids. It's not my style…and I can't have her taking away her mother's attention from me now can I? Or…there are other ways to deal with her…and even her mother if need be. Then I don't have to put up with either. I can be the grieving widow…step-father…and sit back and enjoy all of Cullen's money that Bella will leave to me in her will…yes I think that's a great idea!"_

"_You're sick! What happened to you? I thought you loved me!"_

"_You thought wrong…there are two things I love in life…and that's money and pussy. You're only good at offering me one…and you really aren't even very good at that."_

Bella's eyes were stone cold…her posture rigid. She looked as if she were going to be sick.

"_What about our plan? I did everything you asked! I seduced Edward…I got involved with him just as you wanted. I broke them up…I have never gone against you. Please don't hurt me like this Riley, I love you."_

"_I don't love you. I never did. You were a means to an end…that's all. I was only with you so I could convince you to seduce Cullen. You believed every goddamn lie I fed you…just like Bella. You women are so fucking gullible. You'll believe anything a man tells you if he lavishes you with some attention and kind words…it's pathetic really."_

The video went on and then he started hitting her when she had pressed one too many buttons. I could hear Rachel crying in the background, Lauren screaming, and Riley's angry rants. It was horrible.

Bella gasped and put her hand over her mouth. She really looked sick now.

She turned her head away, "I've seen enough…please turn it off. I don't want to look at that any longer."

Before I could say anything to her, we were interrupted.

"What the fuck are you doing out here? I told you I didn't want you talking to him, _Isabella_."

_Riley_

Her head snapped up and she glared at him as he stalked towards us.

Before she could even say anything, I had punched him in the face. I did not give him a chance to recover from the hit before I tackled him to the ground and was hitting him with all of my strength.

"I warned you! I told you to stay away from them you stupid fucker but you didn't listen! You will never hurt my wife or my daughter…do you understand me?"

I felt strong arms pulling me off and away from him. It was my brother.

"Dad told me what was happening. He thought you could use some assistance. He's trying to keep Mom calm because she is freaking out wanting to know where everyone is."

The undercover officers had helped Riley up from the floor. "I want to press charges against that man! He attacked me out of nowhere!"

I looked around for Bella and saw her leaning against the wall with her arms wrapped around her stomach. I ran to her.

"Baby, are you okay?"

She shook her head no, as the tears fell.

Thankfully, she did not push me away when I pulled her into my arms.

Detective Michaels asked Riley, "So…you want to press charges against ?"

Riley nodded while holding his bleeding nose.

"I find that interesting. You see…I have a Lauren Mallory…lying in intensive care…who would very much like to press charges against…_you_!"

"That bitch is still fucking alive?" he screamed.

"Yes, Mr. Mitchell, she is…and we would like to inform you of your rights."

"What the fuck am I being arrested for?" Riley screamed.

"Let's start with two counts of attempted murder and go from there, shall we?" Detective Michaels said smiling.

The look on Riley's face told me he knew this was the end for him.

The detective motioned for his officers to cuff him and they did. Riley's hands were behind his back and he had never looked better to me. He was bloodied and in a state of panic.

"Bella, I can explain! I swear they are setting me up, Sweets! You know I love you! I would never hit a woman!"

She wiggled out of my grasp and walked over to where he was standing.

My Bella…my amazing…gorgeous…sexy as hell Bella…smiled at him…grasped his shoulders…and then pulled up her knee to meet his groin.

He yelped and dropped to his knees in pain.

"Fucking bitch!" he yelled.

"No…it's you who is going to be the bitch Riley! I'm sure there is a cell mate just waiting for your sweet ass to tame. I can't believe I trusted you! You will never come near me or my daughter again…do you understand me?"

I went over and kicked him while he was down. "I believe the lady asked you a question."

"Yes! I won't come near you again!"

Bella used the heel of her shoe to kick him once more for good measure.

He fell over to his side and was howling in pain screaming at the officers to arrest us for attacking him.

Detective Michaels leaned down to him and said, "I'm sorry…I don't know what you're talking about. We didn't see a thing. You were like this when we found you…hmmm…you must have had a nasty fall or something."

I handed the camcorder back to Detective Michaels and he thanked me for the information leading to Riley's arrest. As they escorted him out of the hotel, I wrapped my arm around Bella. She was shaking.

I kissed her forehead.

I was amazed she had not pushed me away yet. I noticed she was probably cold so I took off my tuxedo jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She looked adorable.

It shocked the hell out of me when I felt her small arms wrap around my waist. As I began stroking her hair, I heard Emmett's voice.

"I'm going to go tell Dad that it's all over. At least we were able to keep things quiet for the guests this year. Mom and Dad won't be the talk of the town."

I nodded.

"Bells, do you want to go back to the party?" I asked her softly.

I felt her shake her head no against my chest.

I had the key to my room in my pocket so I would take her there. We could get away from everything and discuss what had just happened.

This would be a lot for her to process.

"Em, can you tell Dad that I'm taking Bella up to my room so we can talk. Tell them happy anniversary for us and we'll make it up to them later."

"Of course, Dad will understand since he knew what was happening and he can deal with Mom," he said smiling.

"Edward, I'm so confused. What is going on?" Bella whispered.

"Baby, we're going to my room and we can talk…is that all right?"

She nodded and let me lead her to the elevator.

When we were in the elevator…she once again wrapped her arms around my waist and we held each other tight.

"This doesn't change anything…we're not together…and I don't forgive you. I just…I need my best friend right now."

"I understand," I told her honestly.

I had no intentions of making a play for her…I only wanted to make sure she was okay after everything that just happened.

When we reached the room, we broke apart and I went to sit on the edge of the bed. Bella continued to shock me tonight as she sat down beside me.

"What the hell just happened, Edward?"

I explained to her that Lauren had come to see me and she confessed all of Riley's plans…as well as her part in them.

"You were telling the truth? After she talked to you…you went to his office and you really did see him with Victoria…didn't you?" she asked.

She rubbed her hands over her face and sighed in frustration.

"Tell me everything…" she trailed off.

I told her everything I knew that was not covered on the video. As I explained that Riley had been targeting us for a while, she started crying.

"We were weak…we weren't strong enough and they were able to swoop right in and tear us even further apart," she whispered.

I took her hand in mine and nodded.

"Bells, this is all my fault…I played right into their hands. I did exactly what he wanted me to do. He would not have been able to get close to you…if I would have kept my dick in my pants," I grumbled.

I felt her squeeze my hand.

"I think we both have some fault here…yes…you cheated…and I still don't know if I can ever forgive that…but I know I pushed you away. It is better to know that you only actually slept with her twice, but it still hurts that you slept with her at all. I wish…I wish you would have left me before you slept with her."

"Me too," I replied.

Now I knew that was what I should have done. If I would have left her…we could have figured out a way to fix things.

I took the coward's way out and sought out sex with someone other than my wife.

I had to come clean with her about _everything_ now that we were talking.

"Bella, there's something I need to tell you."

Her eyes widened.

"Have you…have you sle…slept with Lauren since we've been apart?"

I shook my head no.

"Anyone else?"

"No," I said.

"I did kiss her…I wanted to see if I had any feelings for her. It made me realize that I didn't. But there were two times when I was not sure if I slept with her or not since you found out. When she came to me and told me the truth about everything, she informed me that nothing happened…but she and Riley planned it to make it look as if it did."

"She was wearing your shirt...when Riley came to deliver…"

"Yes," I said cutting her off. "Riley knew she would be there…he told her when and they planned it for her to come down dressed in that at just the right moment for it to appear that he was catching us doing something."

"Oh my God…how could he be so cruel? I let him around our daughter! I let him _touch_ me! I'm so damn stupid!"

I couldn't stand just sitting there holding her hand anymore, I pulled her into my arms.

"It's okay, Bella…shhhh," I whispered as I held her.

"No, it's not okay, Edward! What kind of mother lets a monster like that around their child? He could have hurt her at any time! Are…please…are you going to take her from me?"

"What?" I asked incredulously.

"You have every right to take her away from me with the way I've behaved! I didn't put her first!"

I pulled back a bit and cupped her face in my hands.

"Listen to me carefully, Isabella. You are an amazing mother to our daughter. I would never take her away from you…please don't ever think that."

She nodded and fell back into my chest.

I felt the rage and anger that I dealt with on a daily basis coming to the surface at her words. I could not stand the thought of him touching her…or being anywhere near Charley.

She continued to mumble and cry about how stupid she had been.

I took a deep breath and said, "It's okay baby, you didn't know. You can't blame yourself."

I kept her hand in mine and used my free hand to rub her back softly.

"I can't believe _he_ is the father of Lauren's baby! That is crazy!" She exclaimed.

"I know…I thought so too. I knew when I first saw Rachel that her eyes reminded me of someone…but I couldn't place them. Then, when Lauren told me he was the father…it made sense. Her eyes are Riley's. I feel badly for her."

"Is…Lauren going to be okay?" Bella asked hesitantly.

"Yes, the doctors say that she will have a long recovery but she will be fine eventually. Her mom is here and after she is healed the three of them will be going back to New York together."

We were both silent for what seemed like hours.

It occurred to me that being this close to Bella might be making her uncomfortable.

I stopped rubbing her back and pulled my arm away. I continued to hold her hand but I scooted farther away from her.

Her eyes snapped to mine.

"What are you doing? Why did you stop that? Where are you going?"

"I was just trying to give you some space…make you feel more comfortable."

She seemed to think about something for a minute and before I could protest, she crashed her lips to mine. My tuxedo jacket fell from her shoulders as she pushed me back onto to the bed so that I was lying down.

Her lips were amazing and everything that I remembered. As her tongue swept across my lips, I gladly accepted it.

After she pulled up her dress enough to give her room to straddle me, she started frantically unbuttoning my shirt.

Her hands wound their way through my hair and pulled. Fuck, she knew I loved that. Her lips were hungrily attacking mine again. I knew I needed to stop her but goddamn it I wanted this.

It had been too long since I kissed her…too long without her hands on me…too long since I felt the silkiness of her skin.

I gripped her hips and responded to her kiss.

I flipped us so that I was now on top of her. Because the dress she was wearing was somewhat skimpy in the breast area, all I had to do was pull one side of it away and her beautiful peaks were exposed to me.

As I took her erect nipple into my mouth, we both moaned at the contact.

"Oh fuck, that feels good!" She said.

_What the fuck are you doing?_

_This is wrong!_

_You will never get her back this way!_

_You will sleep together and she will regret it tomorrow!_

_Stop this now!_

I knew my inner voice was right…and I had ignored it too much in the past. I tried to pull my mouth away from her breasts but she tightened her grip on my hair.

"What are you doing? Don't stop!"

I pulled away forcefully.

"Bella, we need to stop. If we keep going…I'm not going to be able to control myself…I will make love to you…and we're not ready for that."

"Please, Edward…we've had sex before. Just for one night…please…I need you to fuck me…make me forget everything…_please_."

It was breaking my heart to listen to her beg…but her words only proved that we should not be doing this.

"Baby, I don't want to _fuck_ you. I want to make love to you…and we shouldn't be doing either. This is a reaction to everything that happened tonight. I won't do this to us…if we are ever going to have a chance of being together again…we can't do this tonight."

I sat up and moved until I was leaning against the headboard of the bed, pulling her with me. She was cradled in my arms and crying.

"Edward…I don't know if we can ever be together again…so much has happened. Too much hurt…you ripped my heart out. I've hurt you too…it's almost like sometimes we're toxic for each other."

"I know," I said sadly. Then as an afterthought I whispered, "I still think there's hope for us. Your presence alone is enough to get me worked up. You're the only one that does that to me, still."

I rubbed her back and held her in my arms as she continued to cry. She needed to get this out of her…and I was going to be her shoulder to lean on.

I had no idea where we would go from here…but sitting here…holding this amazing creature in my arms…everything felt _right_.

Bella might never forgive me…but one thing was certain…I was going to fight like hell for my wife and daughter.

I would be worthy of them one way or another…and hopefully, Bella and I could find our way back to each other.

Her crying had stopped and her breathing had slowed.

I smiled when I saw her sleeping in my arms. As I scooted down to a lying position in the bed with my angel across my chest, I closed my eyes and drifted into a peaceful sleep.

My heart was swelling with more hope than ever in the last year.

We were going to be okay…I could feel it deep within me.

_**A/N…Hey guys! With my busy schedule, I don't think there will be any surprise updates over the next couple weeks…so only the once a week updates for now.**_

_**I hope everyone is happy with the chapter and where we are headed from here.**_

_**All reviewers will get a teaser of the next chapter from BPOV. I probably won't be able to start getting them sent out until tomorrow or Friday.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing and teacher1209 for pre-reading.**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**Taking you Home by Hope4more**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5844476/22/Taking_You_Home#**_

_**Love this story and it is now complete. **_

**oHo**


	28. Baby Steps

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Songs I listened to on repeat for this chapter…especially towards the end…**_

_Never Say Never__** by **__The Fray_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=Aihu16RyYp8&ob=av2n**_

_We Belong__** by **__Everly_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=hwP6DQWDjFc**_

Chapter 27

BPOV

_**Sunday September 20, 2009: Age 26**_

My eyes fluttered open and I was on my side staring at the wall in the hotel room. This was not the room I had booked. The wallpaper was different in mine.

I felt a warm body snuggled into my back and strong arms wrapped around me.

_Edward_

Everything that happened last night was unreal. I could not believe Riley had set us up and that he was the father of Lauren's daughter.

I couldn't believe that Lauren had made Edward think he slept with her every time they were together. While I felt relieved that he had only slept with her twice…he still _cheated_.

However, after my own experience with Riley, I could see his need to feel wanted…desired…neither of us had made the other one feel that way for awhile when we were still married.

If I really thought back far enough, I could see that we had started drifting from one another even before we started trying to get pregnant.

At first, trying for the baby helped us become close again, but then it ended up driving us even farther apart.

We both played our part in the demise of our relationship…but to know that we had been set up like that…made me angry.

What infuriated me even more was that I didn't put my daughter first…I put her in the line danger by just allowing that monster around her.

The way that he beat Lauren…he hired someone to shoot my father! He was purely evil! I constantly allowed him in Charley's life…encouraged him to have a relationship with her…because I could not fail again at another relationship.

Dumb decisions and choices seemed to be a reoccurring thing for me.

It was stupid of me to throw myself at my ex-husband last night. He was _right_…we were nowhere near ready for that…and might never be ready.

Now…in the light of day…I was thankful that he stopped us before we went too far.

I was unsure how we ended up like this…the last thing that I remembered was crying in his arms. We must have fallen asleep.

It felt amazing waking up like this…wrapped in his strong, warm embrace…it could not happen again…not until we were in a better place.

I pulled myself out of his arms and kissed his forehead. He was still in a deep sleep. I needed to go to my room, get out of this dress and call my dad to check on Charley.

It was also my intention to do some major thinking…which I could not do while I was this close to my Edward.

Yes…_my_ Edward.

I hated thinking of him that way…but he was. Since Charley was born, he had been the boy that I once knew…my best friend…the man that I turned to for everything.

I had missed him terribly.

A part of me really wanted to be able to forgive him…and take him back into my life as my husband.

I did not know if that was even possible…but if there was any chance for us as a couple…there were some things that I needed to do first.

I looked around the room and found a pen and a piece of paper.

_E_

_I had to go to my room and get out of this dress._

_Thank you for last night…you were right to stop us._

_B_

I didn't really know what else to say…so I left it at that.

I had to stop myself from signing 'love B' because I knew after all the revelations last night that there was no doubt that I still loved that man with every beat of my heart.

I was not foolish enough to think this was some fairytale though…this was real life and love did not always conquer all. However, I did pray that we might be able to put ourselves back together…if for no other reason than to be whole for our daughter…whether that meant being together or being apart…but we needed to be happy and emotionally healthy…for _her_.

I slipped out of his room without him waking. When I entered my room, I saw my cell phone on the nightstand blinking indicating that I had messages.

I flipped it open and pressed the number to get my messages.

"_Bells…everything is fine with Charley so don't worry. I just wanted to see how you were…I don't want to say too much on this damn machine. Just call me when you can, sweetie. Charley and I love you, Tink."_

"_Bella, Dad and Emmett told us what happened after the party was over. We're worried about you guys. Em said you two wanted to be alone. Please just let someone know you guys are all right. We'll leave you alone until you come to us and are ready to talk. We love you, Bells…Edward too. Please tell him that."_

Alice…I loved her dearly…and was thankful for the space they were offering.

Before I got in the shower, I called my dad.

"_Bells? Are you all right, sweetie?"_

"I'm fine, Dad. Sorry I didn't check in last night. Is Charley okay?"

"_She's perfect, Tink. She's sleeping."_

"Oh that's good," I replied.

I wanted him to put the phone to her ear so she could hear my voice…but I would not disturb her while she was sleeping.

"_So…how was your night_?" he asked hesitantly.

I tried to hold back the tears as I remembered everything that happened last night.

"Oh Dad, it was awful!"

"_You know the truth about Riley, then?" _

"Yeah, how do you know?" I asked him.

"_Edward explained it to me when he came to say goodbye to Charley. Bells, I'm sorry that I encouraged you to date him, sweetheart. From now on…I am staying out of your personal life."_

"It's not your fault…he fooled us all."

"_He sure did. When are you coming home? I think we should talk. I've been wanting to say some things to you…and I think it's time."_

"I'm checking out as soon as I get cleaned up…and then I'll be heading straight home. I'll call you right before I get on the road, okay?"

"_Sounds good, Tink. I love you. I'll kiss Charley for you."_

"Okay, tell her I love her."

After I hung up the phone, I went to the small suitcase I had brought and pulled out some clothes.

While I went through the motions of showering and getting ready for the day, I thought about my life.

Obviously, I had rushed the relationship with Riley.

A part of me knew I only stayed with him to hurt Edward. I did not officially start dating him until after Charley was born…which meant it was after Edward was sober. I wanted him to watch me with him and I wanted to see the pain on his face.

I felt disgusted at the fact that I could be so malicious and childish

Clearly…I had my own issues that I needed to work on before I could even fathom being in a relationship with _anyone_.

I had tried to hurt Edward as much as he hurt me and my parents taught me that two wrongs don't make a right.

What the hell had happened to me?

Over the weeks, as I had tried to figure out things with Riley…I started to think back and see…really _see_…all the mistakes I had made in my marriage.

Edward was not the only one at fault.

We _both_ needed therapy.

But I had gone from one relationship to another…and I've _always_ had someone taking care of me.

I needed to be able to stand on my own…with my daughter.

That was the first step I was going to make. Tomorrow morning, I was going apartment hunting. I would use some of the money I had from the divorce. After that, job hunting was on my agenda.

There was no guarantee that I would get my book published when it was finished and I needed money now.

It was time that I supported myself. I needed to show myself as well as my daughter that I was a strong and independent woman.

Edward and I would never be able to be together again if I didn't make some personal changes.

He had changed…it was time that I did as well.

Then there was a part of me that did not know if I could be with Edward again. I wanted it badly…but could I trust him? Could I put myself through that?

Only time would tell.

I was tired of my mind going back and forth on the issue…I just wanted to make a decision that I could stick with and feel good about for my daughter…as well as myself.

We would need a lot of therapy. I knew he was willing to do that.

I had just finished packing all of my toiletries into my bag when there was a knock on the door. I closed my eyes and inhaled…even with the distance between us…I knew who it was. I always knew when he was near.

When I opened the door, Edward stood there with a shy grin on his face. He looked amazing. He was dressed in jeans and a t-shirt with his overnight bag hanging off his shoulder.

"Hey, I just wanted to tell you that I was heading out."

"Oh, okay. I just talked to Dad…"

"Yeah me too," he said sheepishly.

My heart melted. He called to check on our baby just as I had.

He was an astounding father…Charley was lucky to have him.

"Well I'm going to head out soon too…"

"Can I come in for a minute?" he asked nervously.

I opened the door wider and motioned for him to enter. He put his bag down on the floor and stood in front of me.

"I hope you understand why I stopped us last night…"

"I do…and I meant what I said in the note. You were right…so thank you for being strong enough to stop it. I would have kept going," I admitted.

"You have no idea how difficult it was."

I nodded.

"I'd like to talk to you, later. We had many revelations last night…and I want to give you your space. But if we could talk that would be great," he said nervously.

"I would like that. Come by this evening. I need to go home, see Charley and talk to my dad and then I think I'll be ready to talk. Um…come by before I put Char down…I know you're dying to see her. We can put her to bed together…and then we can go talk if you like."

"I would _love_ that," he said with a huge smile plastered on his face.

He picked up his bag and headed towards the door. His hand paused on the knob and he turned to look at me. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I told him.

"Did I do the right thing last night? Should I have just let the cops show up and arrest Riley…and never showed you the video?"

"Yes, you did right by me, Edward. I'm glad you showed it to me. He probably would have found some way to charm me into believing his lies…again…if I had not seen the tangible proof on that tape."

"I'm glad…I was worried about whether or not I was doing the right thing. I'm trying hard not to fuck up anymore here, Bella."

"I know that," I responded.

"You don't seem very _sad_…about Riley I mean."

I shrugged.

"It was a shock to find out how evil he was…and it hurt me more to know the things he really thought about me…about our daughter…and the things he had planned. It breaks my heart to realize what a monster I allowed to be around our daughter. But it didn't hurt to _lose_ him. I was starting to see that he was never as important to me as I thought."

I was expecting him to smile or act cocky that the thing with Riley blew up in my face…but he looked sad.

"I'm really sorry that he wasn't what you wanted…you deserve love…and to be happy."

"Thank you," I said.

"I'll see you later tonight, then?" he questioned.

"Absolutely. Be safe driving back to Forks."

"You too…can I _hug_ you?" He blurted.

I nodded.

He wrapped me in the warmth of his embrace and it felt surreal. His arms always made me feel safe and secure.

We simply stood there wrapped in each other's arms for several minutes. My body longed for us to stay wrapped up in each other forever. I nestled my head into his chest and allowed myself to be surrounded by his comfort.

I felt him kiss the top of my head and he left the room.

It was time to head home and talk to Dad about all of my plans…and I could not wait to see Charley. Twenty-four hours was way too much time away from her.

When I walked into the house, I heard my dad cooing to Charley. I followed the sound of his voice.

Dad was on the couch with Char in his lap talking to her in a silly voice.

"There's my baby girl," I said.

They both turned their heads to look at me.

"Look Charley, Mommy's home," Dad said to her.

I held my arms out for her as he stood and gave her to me.

"Hi sweetie, Mommy missed you. That was too much time away from you," I said while placing kisses all over her.

I looked around and did not see Sue anywhere.

"Where is Sue?" I asked him.

"Oh, she went home last night. What kind of guy do you think I am?" My father laughed.

"Please, you two are adults," I told him honestly.

As much as I did not want to think about my dad doing that kind of thing…I knew that adults were usually sexually active…and he had been dating Sue for several months now.

I knew they were crazy about each other.

"No, really…it's not like that with us…yet. Um…Tink…I really don't want to discuss this with you."

"It's uncomfortable isn't it?" I asked with a smirk.

He nodded.

"_Good_…remember that the next time you want to discuss _my_ sex life," I laughed.

He put his hands up, "Okay…I don't even want to hear my daughter discuss that she even _has_ a sex life. I'm going to go upstairs…clean up a bit…call Sue…and then we can talk when Char goes down for her nap. How's that sound?"

"Sounds good, Dad."

I enjoyed the moments feeding Charley and singing her to sleep for her nap. She was the best thing I had ever done.

I loved that little girl with all that I had. As much as Edward and Charlie said she looked just like me…I could still see so much of her father in her.

That made me ridiculously happy.

"She down for the count yet?" I heard my father ask softly from behind me.

I had just placed Charley into her crib.

I turned to him and nodded before grabbing the baby monitor off the dresser.

He followed me downstairs to the living room.

We sat facing each other on the couch…neither of us knowing quite where to begin.

"Mind if I go first?" Charlie finally asked.

"Of course not," I told him.

"Tink, I've been quiet for a long time now. You are the best thing that ever happened to me…my baby girl…_always_…and I love you very much. I'm sorry that I pushed you away after your mom died. You didn't deserve that. We should have been there for each other."

"Dad, we were _both_ wrong. I pulled away from you…just as much as you pushed. We've discussed this."

He nodded and continued.

"There's something I need to tell you about your mom. I've been talking to Carlisle and Esme…they filled me in on some things that Edward told them about your marriage. Things that I was unaware of because I was being a horrible father and avoiding contact with you as much as possible.

"They told me about your bouts of depression after your mom died…how you closed yourself off from everyone…including Edward. They also told me about how you handled all the negative pregnancy tests and finding out the one positive that you had was false. Sweetheart, is it true? Were you really that depressed?"

I nodded.

"Oh, Bella," he sighed.

"What does this have to do with Mom?" I asked him.

"Your mom was depressed after you were born. She loved you more than anything, but I was in the police academy, we were broke and things were quite stressful. It was all I could do just to get her out of bed some days.

"I almost had to leave with you because of it. She was wasting away and it scared the hell out of me."

"What did you do?"

"I threatened to leave with you and never come back. I was going to go stay with my parents. I didn't know what else to do. I loved her dearly but you were my main priority at the time. You needed me to take care of you."

I was floored by what my father was telling me.

My mom was always a loving, attentive person. It never would have occurred to me that she was ever depressed to the point of being unable to care for me as an infant.

"What did you do?" I asked him.

"I threatened to leave. I told her what I was planning and it scared the crap out of her. We immediately found a doctor that could help her and she began going to therapy. She eventually got better and we were back on track as a family."

"Is that why I'm an only child?"

He nodded. "I think we were both always afraid of something similar happening if we had another baby. I want you to know, it was never your fault. Your mom adored you…she just didn't know how to process everything once you arrived. Does that make sense?"

"Actually it does. It must have been hard for her…here all alone all day with me and not knowing what to do. I know she was not close with Grandma because she did not approve of you…so it's not like she could call her for help. I'm glad she got the help she needed though and that you were able to work things out. I wish she were here now."

He opened his arms for me as he always did when I needed a hug and I went willingly into my father's embrace.

"I also owe Edward an apology," he said quietly.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly because I could have sworn you said you owe Edward an apology."

"Yes, that is what I said, sweetheart. I was never very fair to Edward. I judged him because of what his father did and I should not have done that. He told me everything that Lauren revealed to him. I know that nothing will ever excuse what he did…I really do…but I honestly believe that if Lauren had not presented herself to him and said the right things...he would not have cheated on you.

"Nothing will ever change what he did…and the fact is that he _did_ cheat. For some reason, I feel that if Lauren and Riley were removed from the situation…his breaking point would have finally been to drink himself into a coma, which would have woken you up to all of your problems…or he would have found the courage to leave you and force you both to deal with your problems."

"Well…we'll never know will we?" I asked bitterly.

"Hey, Bells…come on now. Don't get mad at your old man for stating his opinion."

"I'm not mad at you, Dad. I'm just frustrated and angry at the entire situation. I'm mad that we were targeted the way we were…I'm mad that Edward _still_ cheated…I'm mad at myself for believing in Riley and pushing my husband away. I'm mad that my mother is not here to guide me! I'm just _**mad**_!"

I removed myself from his arms and started pacing the floor.

"How could I be so naïve? Two men in my life have cheated on me! _Two_! One of them was a raging psycho who I allowed to be around my daughter! What kind of mother does that? The man fucking paid to have you shot! I've always depended on everyone around me! I've never stood on my own…someone always takes care of me. Poor, helpless Bella! I'm done, Dad! I'm done! I can't be that girl anymore! How did I lose myself?"

"Isabella, please come sit down with me again," he said in his authoritative tone.

I sighed and did as he asked.

He took my hand in his as he spoke, "You are an amazing mother. At some point in our lives, I think we all lose sight of our true selves. At that moment in our life, we are at a crossroads and we have to choose which way to go. We can go one way and continue to make the same mistakes repeatedly…or we can go the other way and do what we need to do to fix ourselves and learn from the mistakes we have made. Edward has made his choices when he faced his mistakes…now it's time for you to face yours. What's it gonna be Bells? Are you going to keep making the same mistakes? Or are you going to learn from them?"

He was a brilliant man, my father. I smiled and gave his hand a squeeze. "Well, Dad…I'll tell you…I am done making the same mistakes. I have a plan but I need to go have a talk with someone that is long overdue…and I need to get some things off my chest."

"Edward?" He questioned.

I shook my head no and he froze. He knew where I wanted to go.

"You still haven't been?"

"No," I whispered.

"Oh, Bella. She understands, sweetheart."

"How could she? I'm a horrible daughter! What kind of child does not even visit their mother's grave…_ever_?"

"You weren't ready before. I take it you're ready now?"

"Yes, I am. I need to do this. Is it all right if Charley stays here?"

One day I wanted to take my daughter to meet my mom…but today I needed to go by myself.

"Of course, you know I will never turn down time with that little angel."

I leaned in and gave him a hug before I stood up from the couch. I wanted to go look in on Charley before I headed to the cemetery.

Pausing on the bottom step, I turned back to dad and said, "I love you, Daddy. You know one of the things I need to do is get a place of my own, right?"

He smiled and then nodded. "Yeah, I know. I hate to see my girls go, but I completely understand. I love you too, sweetheart."

With that, I turned and headed upstairs to check on Charley.

She was sleeping peacefully on her back, so I rubbed her stomach gently. I placed a kiss to my fingertips and then pressed them lightly to her forehead.

"Mommy loves you, angel. I'll be back in a bit…you be a good girl for Pops," I whispered to her.

Once I was back downstairs, I went into the kitchen to get a bottle of water. Dad was sitting at the table eating a sandwich.

"I figured I better grab a bite to eat before little bit wakes up and consumes all of my time," he chuckled.

I leaned against the counter, opened the water and started drinking. My fingers began toying with the label, peeling it from the bottle.

"Bells, what are you doing?"

"Nothing…having a drink of water before I go. Is that all right?"

"That would be perfectly fine, if that's what you were doing. You forget, I know you little girl. Go to your mom…stop stalling. It won't get any easier the longer you wait."

Why was he always right?

"Okay, okay, I'm going," I told him.

On my way out of the kitchen, I paused in the doorway, "Edward is coming over tonight. We're going to put Char to bed together and then talk. I don't know what time he's coming though…so if he shows up…just let him hang out until I get back."

"Will do…I guess I can start working on my apology."

I shook my head at my dad and made my way to my car. He did not give apologies lightly; Edward was going to be thrilled he was getting one.

Before heading to the cemetery, I stopped at the grocery store for some flowers. The one flower shop in town was closed on Sundays and I did not want to go see Mom empty handed after taking this long to visit.

Unfortunately, being from the grocery store, they weren't the freshest flowers, but they were pretty and they would do.

I chose daisies because they were her favorite.

When I finally arrived at the cemetery, I forced myself from the car and made my way to her. I had not been here since the day of the funeral but I still remembered exactly where she was.

I laid the flowers down in front of the headstone. There was already a vase of daisies sitting there and the flowers looked like they had been there for a while.

"Hi, Mom. It's me. I know it's been too long and I would like to say I'm sorry for that. I wasn't strong enough before…but I am now. I won't stay away so long again, I promise. I want to bring Charley here to meet you. That's right, you have a granddaughter. She's amazing."

I sat down on the ground and crossed my legs. I put my head into the palm of my hands and let the tears fall. Mom always said that sometimes it was good to cry it out. Purge yourself from all the pain with your tears and let it all go.

"I'm tired of being angry, Mom…tired of all the pain. I want to let everything go and get it out. I need you here with me! Why did you leave me? Couldn't you see that I needed you? How could you think that everything would just be all right if you left me? I need my mom here! You need to help me be a good mom! Charley needs her grandma. Why did you go away?"

My sobs got louder as the tears flowed faster. I slowly started rocking back and forth while allowing myself to cry about everything that was hurting me.

The sun was setting and I did not realize I had been out here as long as I had.

"What do I do Mom? I love Edward with all my heart…I never stopped. He is an amazing father to Charley…but what if I can't forgive him? What if I can't get passed what he did?"

The tears were slowing down but still had yet to stop.

I heard footsteps approaching behind me as his shoes crunched down on the grass.

Fear should have plagued me…but it didn't because I knew exactly who it was.

I always knew when he was near.

He quietly sat down beside me and crossed his legs just as mine were.

When I turned to look at him, I saw that he had a fresh bundle of daisies that looked like mine. I raised my eyebrows in question and nodded towards the flowers.

He smiled gently and removed the older daisies from the vase as he put the new flowers he had in their place.

"I've been coming here to talk to Renee."

"What?" I asked in shock.

"You know how much I loved her. She was always like a second mom to me. I miss her too…I know it's not the same…but…it helps. I like to come talk to her and I bring her flowers."

"My dad didn't tell you I was here?"

"Nope, but I'm glad I decided to stop by here before going over there. You look like you could use a friend."

All I could do was nod as the tears consumed me once again as he pulled me into his lap quickly.

I loved having his arms around me.

"Shhh…it's okay Bella. Let it out."

We had never done this after my mom died. I closed up and would not let go of the pain that I felt…I wouldn't deal with it.

_**Flashback**_

_**Mom had been gone for three years. I still had not really cried or grieved for her. Today was the anniversary of her death and I was angry.**_

_**Edward had been sweet and was trying to be there for me. I went to the coffee shop that Edward and I liked to go to and I sat there all day without moving. When I got back home, my beautiful husband had made us a romantic dinner when he returned from class.**_

_**He had candlelight, soft music playing, the whole nine yards. I ignored him.**_

_**I walked into our house, without saying a word and went straight to bed. He came into the room and tried to get me out of my clothes, into pajamas and under the covers…but I screamed at him.**_

"_**Stop touching me! My mother fucking died three years ago today! The last thing I want is to be mauled by you! Get off me!"**_

"_**Love, I'm just trying to get you into bed."**_

"_**I'm an adult Edward; I think I am capable of doing that myself now leave me alone!"**_

_**He left the room quietly and I did not see him again until the next morning. When I woke up, I went downstairs and saw an empty wine bottle as well as an empty Jack Daniels bottle sitting on the coffee table while Edward was passed out on the couch.**_

_**I shook my head trying to remember how much alcohol had been in each bottle the night before…but I could not remember.**_

_**I picked up the bottles and tossed them into the trash. Out of sight out of mind. This was not the first time something like this had happened when things were bad between Edward and me…and it would not be the last…but I was happy to ignore it.**_

_**It wasn't a problem if I ignored it. Edward did not have a drinking problem if I forgot about what I saw.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Oh my god! Why did I do that? Deep down, I knew he had a drinking problem! Hell, I knew that I had depression issues. Why would I push him away and not say anything about his drinking?

Even though, I knew we were both responsible for the choices we made, it amazed me that we had let it go as far as we did.

When our marriage was good, it was damn good, but when it was bad, it was the epitome of bad.

At that moment, I felt in my heart that one day I would truly like to take my husband back…and I knew we had a lot of work to do in order to make that happen.

The tears stopped and I turned in his lap so that I was facing him with my legs straddling his.

"What is it, baby?" He asked quietly.

"I need to get this out. We have both messed up tremendously. But if you still think we have something to salvage then I want to _try_."

"Are…you sure?"

I placed my hands on his face and stared straight into his eyes so that he could see the truth and determination in mine.

"_Yes_. It's going to take a lot of time and a serious amount of work on both our parts. I'm not saying that I am one hundred percent certain I can forgive you, trust you, or even have you back as my husband. The most I _might_ ever be able to offer you is friendship…but I would like to try…for that…and _more_."

He smiled a breathtaking, heart-stopping smile.

"Then we start with therapy…and friendship."

"Agreed. First thing tomorrow, I am going job hunting and apartment hunting. It's time for me to get out on my own with Charley. I need to prove to myself that I can be independent from you and my dad."

"Absolutely and I can watch Char while you go."

I released my hands from his face and placed them gently on his shoulders.

"Thanks, I appreciate that."

"Anytime," he smirked.

I leaned forward and laid my head on his chest. His arms tightened around me, pulling me closer to him.

"I don't know what's going to happen and I can't make any promises…but life is short and I just want to say, I love you Bella. I never fucking stopped. You have owned my heart since we were five-years old and I never want it back. I know we have a long way to go…and I will never be able to tell you enough how sincerely _sorry_ I am for everything that I have put you through.

"I can see now so many other ways I could have chosen to deal with our problems, but I took the coward's way out and I will always regret hurting you. I'm not going into this with any expectations from you other than hopefully getting my friend back. I will never pressure you or do anything you are uncomfortable with, okay?"

I nodded into his chest.

"When Lauren was telling me everything that happened I had a memory…of the phone message that I left you…the awful one…"he paused.

My breath hitched as I remembered the words he had said to me.

"I don't know how I will ever be able to make that up to you, but I will damn sure try. I'm trying to be the man that you deserve." He tilted my head up to look into his eyes as he spoke his next words. "You have my sincere apology for the words that I said to you in that message. I know I was drunk and that is no excuse for me to speak to you that way…but I never meant them. They were said out of pain and anger. I could never feel that way about you. I am truly sorry."

I nodded not knowing what else to say right then.

I did believe that he was sorry…about everything. I only prayed that we could find our way back to one another…eventually.

Quietly enough that I almost hoped he could not hear me, I whispered, "I love you too…always you."

I didn't think I was ready for him to actually know that I would always love him…no matter what.

As we sat there and held each other a little while longer, I felt a new resolve in my heart to fix everything in my life that was broken.

I stood up from his lap and held my hand out to help him up from the ground.

"Come on, let's go back to Dad's and feed our daughter. We can play with her for a bit and then put her to bed like I promised."

He grinned and said, "Sounds good. I think we have had a good start on our talk for now; I don't want to overwhelm you. After we put Char to bed, I'm going to take off and head home. Then, I will be over bright and early to help with her so you can go search for your job and apartment. Does that work?"

"I think that's perfect, Edward."

Baby steps.

Before I left to follow Edward to our cars, I turned back to look at the headstone.

"Thanks, Mom. I'll be back soon."

Somehow, I knew that Edward showing up was a sign from her.

A sign that everything would be okay.

_**A/N…Here we go kids…we will be moving forward with some time jumps in the next chapter.**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser from EPOV for the next one.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for being my rock AND my fabulous beta. Thanks to teacher1209 for always listening to my bitching and moaning and pre-reading no matter how many times I send them to her. **_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_You, Me and the Baby Make Three **by **sarah8989_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5551027/16/You_Me_and_The_Baby_Make_Three**_

_**This is a good one! Go enjoy and tell her I sent ya!**_

**oHo**


	29. Reconnections

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. Also, not sure if Seattle General is a real hospital or not. If it is, I do not own it.**_

_**A/N…Soundtrack for this chapter…**_

_Modern Woman__** by **__Billy Joel_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=70trlkdNtLw**_

_Eyes__** by **__Rogue Wave_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=-xTzMjBpxGE**_

Chapter 28

EPOV

_**Sunday May 9, 2010: Age 26**_

Today my daughter was a year old…one year. It was unimaginable to me but she was growing up right before my very eyes.

Before I knew it, she would no longer need me to do the seemingly mundane things that I did for her now.

She was developing and blossoming in leaps and bounds.

Her hair was still brown like Bella's but was starting to get reddish tints throughout. However…her eyes…were all my doing. They were sparkling green just like mine.

As much as she adored her mom, it made my day to see the way her face lit up every time she saw me. Two of her favorite words were "Da-ee" or "Da-Da" and it melted my heart whenever those words fell from her lips.

Many changes had been happening over the last eight months…not just with Charley.

First, Riley Mitchell was out of our lives forever. Several days after he was arrested Charlie called me on my cell phone.

_**Flashback**_

"_**Hello?" **_

"_**Edward, it's Charlie. I need you to come down to the police station. We've got to go to Seattle."**_

_**I asked him what was going on but he told me he would rather explain in person. I drove straight to the station and rode with him to Seattle…no questions asked.**_

_**I could tell something was really bothering him from the way he was acting.**_

"_**What's happening?" I asked him once we were on our way.**_

"_**Riley made bail."**_

"_**WHAT?" I yelled.**_

_**We were sure that would not happen. Charlie and Detective Michaels both said that any judge in his right mind would see him as a flight risk.**_

_**Apparently, they were wrong.**_

"_**What are we doing going to Seattle?"**_

"_**We're going to try to stop it before he leaves the jail." **_

_**It was silent in the car throughout most of the ride…until we were almost there.**_

"_**Edward…I need to say something to you and I would like it if you would let me speak without interrupting."**_

_**I nodded.**_

"_**This isn't easy for me…you've known me your whole life and you know I don't take these words lightly…but…I'm sorry."**_

_**My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened. Charlie Swan did not offer apologies very often. **_

_**I was still speechless so he continued.**_

"_**Look…you'll understand when Charley is older…but no boy or even man will ever be good enough for your daughter. Bella tells me you guys are going to work on things and she is happy with that decision. She said you two are going to start with friendship. I think that is a good idea.**_

"_**I was never fair to you. While I will be the first one to tell you, what you did was much worse than what your dad did…I should not have held what he did against you when you were just a teenager. So anyway…like I said…well you know…I'm not repeating myself."**_

"_**Yes, sir. I would never ask you to. I accept your apology. I promise…I am letting Bella set the pace of our relationship and I will never intentionally hurt her or our daughter ever again."**_

"_**That's all I ask," he said quietly.**_

_**And that was the end of that.**_

_**Charlie was a simple man and I felt that we understood each other…father to father. He saw the things I did for my family…whether we were together all the time or not.**_

_**He knew I would keep my word.**_

_**We received bad news when we made it to the police station in Seattle. Riley had already been released. Detective Michaels told us there was nothing that could be done.**_

_**Charlie was fuming and we turned right around and headed back to Forks.**_

_**I had a moment of panic when I could not get a hold of Bella. When I finally reached her, I told her to take Charley to my parent's house and stay there until we returned to Forks.**_

_**It made me extremely nervous that Riley was out on the loose and I did not want to have to kill him for coming near my girls.**_

_**Charlie and I were a nervous wreck by the time we reached Forks. As soon as he pulled into my parent's driveway Bella met me at the car door and wrapped her arms around me as soon as I got out.**_

"_**What is it, baby?" **_

"_**Detective Michaels called! Riley's dead…he's dead, Edward! We don't have to worry ever again. He can't hurt us."**_

_**I looked behind her to my father and he nodded.**_

"_**What happened?" **_

_**Bella started pulling me inside the house and we all sat down in the living room. Charley was asleep and I was happy because she did not need to hear this grown up conversation.**_

_**When I sat down on the couch, I automatically pulled Bella into my lap. She did not hesitate at all.**_

_**She leaned her head down on my shoulder.**_

"_**Detective Michaels said that Victoria picked Riley up after he was finally released. Shortly after leaving the station, their car was run off the road. There was a terrible crash and they were both killed instantly," my father said.**_

"_**My guess is the loan sharks finally got their way," Charlie responded.**_

_**My dad nodded and added, "Yes, that is what I'm thinking too. Michaels said that Riley was quite jumpy and did not really even want to leave the jail. He was definitely running scared."**_

"_**Well, I hate to say it, but at least we know now he can never hurt our family again," my mother said quietly.**_

_**I knew she would hate to think bad thoughts about anyone…even a vile creature like Riley Mitchell…but deep down she was happy about this. I was sure we all were.**_

_**That part of our lives could finally be put behind us.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Bella started making changes to her life immediately, just as she said she would.

The day after our talk in the cemetery, Bella went out and found an apartment. When she was meeting with the landlord at the apartment complex, the man told her about his son who worked for a small publishing house in Seattle.

The very next day, Bella went to the _Small Seattle Book Company _and tried to gain employment. They were interested in having her but only if she was willing to relocate back to Seattle.

I told her we would work it out if that was what she really wanted to do but she told me that did not interest her. She was hoping they would let her work from home but since she was new and they were a very small company that was not an option.

That night, we discussed it in depth and she assured me she did not want to move to Seattle with our daughter.

The good thing that came out of that trip was that they were interested in her book when she told them about it. Her plan was to come home and find another job to pay her bills while she finished the manuscript for them.

Sue told Bella that they were in desperate need of a senior English teacher at the high school on the reservation in LaPush and if she was interested, she could get an emergency certification and take the job.

That was right up her alley for the time being so she jumped on the opportunity. I had never seen someone that incredibly excited to get up and go to work every day.

She glowed when she discussed her new job…even though the students drove her crazy most of the time. She told me the fact that she was working and earning her own money was worth all the trouble they gave her.

Four months ago, she finished her manuscript. It was published and we all believed in that book. Much to our disappointment, her book did not do very well.

Apparently, not that many people were interested in reading about a woman's struggle to conceive and her cheating husband.

Thankfully, we had already started therapy together. Dr. Weber tried to help her cope with her disappointment with the fact that her book was not everything she had hoped it would become.

Therapy had been…_interesting_…but helpful for us both.

Dr. Weber was helping us work out our issues within ourselves as well as between one another. I was relieved when Bella seemed taken with her. I had been with Dr. Weber so long that I didn't want to switch at this point.

The two of us were gaining new tools to deal with everyday problems as well as the bigger problems.

That was a blessing because when Bella's book flopped, she did not handle it very well at first.

She was slipping into a dark place, but I wasn't going to let that happen again.

_**Flashback**_

_**Bella was devastated that her book did not do well. She had asked me to take Charley for the weekend and I was thrilled to have any reason to spend time with my daughter. **_

_**That Sunday, I decided to take Charley to the park and thought it would be nice to invite Bella to come with us. **_

_**I called her several times and she was not answering. **_

_**When I called everyone, I could think of to see if they had heard from her, no one had heard from her for a few days.**_

_**What I needed to do was clear.**_

_**I called Charlie again, asking him if he could watch Char for a little while. **_

_**I knew what Bella was doing…she was wallowing and I was not going to let her do that to herself…not this time.**_

_**After taking Charley to her grandpa, I drove straight to Bella's apartment. I used my key and let myself in. We had traded keys because it just made things with Char easier that way. Neither of us had anything to hide.**_

_**Things had been going so well in therapy that I truly felt as if I had my best friend back again…and I would not lose her.**_

_**The first thing I noticed was that the apartment was a mess. It was just Friday night when I came to pick up Charley after Bella had gotten off work. How the hell did it get so messy?**_

"_**Bella?" I called throughout the apartment.**_

_**No answer.**_

_**I found her in her bedroom under the covers and like the rest of the apartment, her room was a mess. If I was guessing, I would say after she threw a temper tantrum around the apartment, she went straight to bed and had not moved since.**_

_**I sighed and ripped the covers from her body.**_

_**She sat up in bed quickly looking around. Her eyes focused on me and she glared. **_

"_**What day is it? Is Charley back?" **_

_**Nice to know she was at least thinking of our daughter.**_

"_**What are you doing Bella?"**_

"_**Answer my question!"**_

"_**It's Sunday…Char is with your dad. I thought you would like to go to the park with us…I didn't know you were here having a fucking pity party."**_

"_**Look, I'm a failure, yet again, Edward! I am entitled to be upset!" She pulled the covers back over her body and lay down again. "Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out! Call me when you're bringing Charley home."**_

_I chuckled before my next move. I don't even think so sweetheart. You're not getting away with that shit this time around._

_**I removed the covers once again giving her one more chance to get up on her own. **_

"_**Give me the goddamn blankets back, Edward! It's cold in here!"**_

"_**I don't give a damn! Get your ass out of this bed, Bella! You're better than this crap!"**_

_**I pulled the comforter and sheets from the bed until they were pooled on the floor around it.**_

"_**Fucking dick! You always have to get your way don't you! Get out of my apartment, now!"**_

"_**I don't think so baby, I'm not letting you self-destruct this time around. You need to grow up and face this problem head on…just as we have been learning to do from Dr. Weber. Do you think our daughter would like to see her mother depressed and moping like this? You have five seconds to get out of that bed before I pull you out and you are going in the fucking shower because you stink!"**_

"_**We're not married anymore, Edward! You don't get to tell me what to do!"**_

_Five_

"_**I've learned in therapy that you can't strong arm me into doing things the way you want them! You're not the boss of me!"**_

_Four_

"_**I told you to get out! I'll be fine tomorrow…I just needed…the weekend…to mope! Just go away!"**_

_Three_

"_**Are you fucking deaf? I told you to get out of my apartment! I'm not your problem anymore. You don't know what it feels like to constantly be a failure!"**_

_Two_

"_**GET OUT!"**_

_One_

_Here we go, sweetheart._

_**I pulled her from the bed and wrapped my arms around her. I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and get a better grip on her but she was squirming non-stop in my arms. My arms were around her and she was facing me, twisting and kicking. **_

_**I feared for my manhood because her knees were coming dangerously close to the family jewels.**_

"_**Put me down you cocksucker, right now!"**_

"_**Ouch, you really think you talking like a sailor is going to make you sound tough enough for me to be afraid of you Bella? I know your bark is worse than your bite, baby. Don't push me."**_

_**She got an evil smirk on her face. "Wanna bet? I promise you my bite is just as bad as my bark, **__baby__**," she spat sarcastically.**_

_**Before I could stop her, she opened her mouth and bit down on my neck as hard as she could. Natural instincts took over and I dropped her ass right on the floor…hard.**_

_**It was not a love bite done in the heat of passion either…she meant for it to fucking hurt and it did.**_

"_**Fuck!" I yelled as I placed my hand to my neck. When I looked at my fingers, I saw blood. "Goddamn it, Bella! You drew blood, what the hell?"**_

"_**You asshole! You fucking dropped me!"**_

_**Fine, she wanted to wallow, I would let her wallow. But I was not bringing Charley back to witness this.**_

_**I towered over her and sneered, "You want to do this to yourself, Isabella? Go right ahead! I'm done. Call me when you are grown up enough to deal with your issues as we have been learning and then I will bring our daughter home…but not before. I will not let her see her mother fall apart this way! She deserves better."**_

_**In my heart, I knew that would wake her up. I went downstairs and started making some coffee. I thought it would help her when she decided to come downstairs. **_

_**Sure enough, five minutes after I had started the coffee, I could hear the shower starting in the bathroom.**_

_She listened._

_**I had just started pouring our coffee into mugs when I heard her small voice behind me.**_

"_**You're still here," she said sniffling.**_

"_**Yep…I knew you would come to your senses," I said without turning to face her. I continued what I was doing at the counter.**_

_**I heard her footsteps and felt her presence behind me. My body stiffened when I felt her tiny hand on my back. Every time she touched me, it sent my heart into a tailspin.**_

_**I loved this woman with every fiber of my being.**_

_**When I turned around to face her, she quickly threw her arms around my waist and buried her head into my chest.**_

"_**I'm so sorry," she whispered as she cried.**_

"_**Hey, it's okay, sweetheart. Don't worry about it. I've been at this therapy stuff longer than you have. Just know…I'm not giving up on you…and I can't let you sit and wallow…that's what happened last time and I'm not making that mistake ever again."**_

_**I felt her nod against me.**_

_**She raised her head from my chest and looked up at me with those big brown eyes that always lit my body on fire.**_

"_**Thank you…for being here. I needed that. I don't know what I was thinking. I put so much of myself into that book and it hurt so badly for it to fail…I handled it badly."**_

"_**You think?" I smiled down at her.**_

"_**I'm scared…what now, Edward? I thought I was good at writing and I'm afraid that I'm just fooling myself."**_

"_**Bells, just because your book didn't do well, doesn't mean you are bad at writing. You're not a failure. People just aren't into that kind of book right now. You need to take this experience and learn from it. Stay a teacher…write something else…but you can't let it bring you down. Hold your head up high…your book is wonderful. The people who aren't reading it are missing out."**_

_**She nodded and looked around me noticing the cups of coffee.**_

"_**Is one of those for me?"**_

"_**Yes," I said.**_

_**I dropped my arms from around her and grabbed both of the cups of coffee before making my way to sit at the kitchen table.**_

_**Bella joined me while we sat and discussed everything we were both feeling after what had just happened today.**_

_**When we had finished talking, she reached across the small table and pulled my hand into hers. "It's nice to have my best friend back."**_

_**All I could do was smile and nod at her. I was too choked up at the moment to release any words from my lips.**_

_**It was amazing to me because the old Edward and Bella would have handled the morning differently.**_

_**The old Bella would never have gotten out of that bed…she would have stayed and sulked for days.**_

_**The old Edward would have drank himself into oblivion shutting out every ounce of pain he felt from the situation.**_

_**I was pleased with us both.**_

_**We were definitely growing up.**_

_**End Flashback**_

I heard the front door to my house open and then the sweet voice of my angel.

"Da-ee!" She called and then there was the unmistakable sound of tiny feet scurrying across the floor.

I was in the kitchen finishing my morning coffee when the light of my life ran at me full force. She tripped on the way to me…so much like her mother.

I laughed and scooped her up into my arms, "How are you sunshine?"

She just smiled wide and grabbed my face in her hands, as she liked to do. Her little lips placed a quick kiss on mine and she squealed, "Da-ee!"

"Happy birthday, Charley Renee."

As I started tickling her sides, Bella entered the kitchen.

"That little girl is getting the hang of this running thing, fast! She has speed like her daddy and clumsiness like her mommy…not a good combination," she chuckled.

I was able to hear what she said even over the sound of Charley's loud giggles from my tickle torture.

"Down!" Char shouted.

"Yes ma'am," I laughed placing her on the floor.

She took off out of the kitchen.

"She's looking for her doll she left over here last night," Bella said.

"Okay…are you two ready to go then?" I asked her.

"Yep," she said hesitantly.

"What is it?" I asked her.

She bit her lip nervously and crossed the kitchen to stand in front of me. We had gotten to where we would have brief instances of handholding and kisses on the cheek…and many hugs. I was shocked when I felt Bella's arms wrap around my neck and her lips pressed gently against mine.

"I just wanted to say…I can't believe our little girl is a year old today…and thank you for her. She is everything to me and it means the world that you are such an amazing father. We both appreciate you."

I wrapped my arms around her tightly and nuzzled my face into her hair. When I pulled back, I braced my hands on her hips to hold her in place.

As I looked into her eyes, I told her, "Thank _you_…for all that you do. If I'm an amazing father…it's only because _you_ have taught me how to love."

We stood there for a few moments…not moving…not speaking…letting our eyes say everything to one another.

_I love you._

_You are my world._

_Thank you._

We could speak this way…without the words…for now.

Whenever things became difficult between us, we had started these eye _conversations_. It was important to make sure that we looked directly into one another's eyes without breaking the connection. Dr. Weber told us it was a way to gain some intimacy between us. Intimacy without sex.

Our relationship was better and it was amazing to have our friendship again…but we were not ready to be a couple yet.

Okay…that might not have been accurate…_Bella_ was not ready to be a couple yet.

But I would wait forever for her.

We heard Charley running again, meaning she was probably headed back into the kitchen.

"Well…let's do this, shall we?" I asked Bella. I offered my arm to her as I stood from the kitchen table.

We linked our arms and laughed as we went in search of our mischievous daughter.

My parents had put together a small gathering for her birthday at their house. Back in October, they decided they were tired of the big city. Carlisle took a job at the hospital in Forks and they were thrilled to be close to Charley.

Bella and I had decided she and Charley would come over here and we would drive to my parent's house together for the party. I could then take them home afterwards.

Neither of us felt the need to fill the car with mindless chatter during the drive. Char was babbling happily in the back from her car seat while Bella and I laughed at her senseless words.

"So…Emmett called me this morning."

"Really? What's up?"

I was wondering why he called Bella and not me.

"He wants me to talk to Rose…about getting pregnant again."

_Oh_.

At the end of October, Rose had miscarried and they were both devastated.

The night that it happened, Bella and I spent the night in my bed, sleeping with our daughter between us. We kept our hands clasped together and over Charley the entire night.

I was thankful that my daughter was here…and healthy. My heart ached that my brother would never get to know his child.

Since then, Emmett has wanted to try to get pregnant again but Rose has continuously shot him down.

"Are you going to?"

She shook her head no.

"I don't think it's something he should be pressuring her to do. He doesn't know what it's like to feel something growing inside of you and have it taken away…she does. He needs to give her time. You know Rose…she's strong. She'll want to get pregnant again…when she's ready…not on Em's time."

"That was very good advice, Miss Swan."

"Thank you, I'm learning," she said smiling.

The car was silent again and I let my thoughts wander back to when we were still new to our therapy sessions.

_**Flashback**_

_**We had only been in therapy together for a few weeks but we could both agree that it was helping us.**_

_**During this particular session, the exchange between Bella and I was quickly becoming heated.**_

_**Dr. Weber had told us to be honest with our feelings and lay everything out on the table for one another.**_

_**The bottom line…we were both angry.**_

_**Bella was angry that I had slept with Lauren…angry that I drank for so long and used it to numb all of my feelings.**_

_**I was angry that she pushed me away…that she ignored my drinking problem and did nothing to help me.**_

"_**Angry…you feel angry? Well so do I!" I yelled.**_

"_**What do you possibly have to feel angry about?" she seethed. "I'm not the one who went to some whore and cheated on my spouse!"**_

"_**No…no Bella you didn't cheat. But let me ask you this, sweetheart…how many times did you clean up the empty bottles after one of my drinking binges? Hmmm…how many times did you do that and yet you said nothing?"**_

_**Her eyes widened and she glared at me.**_

"_**Really? You're going to blame me for the fact that you're an alcoholic?"**_

"_**I'm a recovering alcoholic thank you very much! And no, of course I'm not blaming you for that! I made the choice to drink…that is all on me...but you made the choice to ignore it! The point I am trying to make here is that we BOTH fucked up! We BOTH have a right to be angry!"**_

_**She threw her hands up in the air and yelled, "Okay so what the hell do we do about it?"**_

_**We both turned and looked at Dr. Weber. She was sitting in her chair and at some point during our shouting match; she had placed two foam bats on her lap.**_

"_**Edward is right, Bella. You both have every right to be angry at one another. Believe it or not, all of the things you both are expressing here today is a good thing. The breakdown in your marriage began because you two did not communicate your feelings to each other. Communication is key in any marriage, as I am sure you both are starting to realize.**_

"_**It is important that the two of you face your problems head on without holding anything back. The first thing you need to do is let go of all the anger that has built up between you. I can see how much love is between the two of you…but it is going to fade and turn to bitterness and hate if you're not careful."**_

_**I was not angry with her…not really…it was just the heat of the moment when she started lashing out at me.**_

_**Right?**_

"_**Dr. Weber, I'm not angry. I deserve Bella's anger…I went outside of our marriage for sex, I betrayed her trust. This is all on me. I don't know why I said the things that I said before."**_

_**She smiled kindly and started again, "Edward…yes you did that…but you **__are__** angry at Bella. Otherwise…you would not have blown up as you did. You are entitled to your anger…as is she. I want you two to work with this anger and get it out of your system."**_

_**As she held the foam bats towards us she said, "Take these and express your anger."**_

_**What the fuck?**_

_**Surely, she did not mean what I thought she did.**_

_**She expected me to hit Bella with that thing?**_

_**I stared at her incredulously.**_

"_**You're kidding, right? I am not going to hit Bella with…"**_

_**I did not even see it coming. Bella had grabbed one of the foam bats from Dr. Weber's hand and hit me across the face with it. **_

_**Really?**_

_Oh, it's on, sweetheart. _

_**I grabbed the other foam bat and Bella looked just as shocked as I did when I batted her softly in the arm with it.**_

"_**Edward, that was weak. Bella, I want you to explain to Edward why you hit him with that. Tell him how you **__feel__**," Dr. Weber said to us.**_

"_**Because I am mad as hell at him…"**_

"_**Don't tell me, tell Edward."**_

_**She took a deep breath and said, "I'm mad because you hurt me!"**_

_**With that, she started pounding me with that foam bat. **_

_**It reminded me of when she was throwing things at me the first time we talked after she found out about Lauren.**_

"_**You fucked someone else! Her hands were on you!"**_

_**She kept hitting me, so I started hitting back. **_

"_**You fucked someone else, too!" I yelled.**_

"_**We weren't married when I did! You cheated so you don't get to throw that in my face!"**_

_**Bella was hitting me anywhere she could, but I would not hit her in the face. It was foam and the damn things did not even hurt but I could not bring myself to be too forceful with her.**_

_**As we continued to hit each other, I wanted to clear something up for my conscious and I wanted Bella to admit to this finally.**_

"_**Admit it though, you only fucked him to get back at me!"**_

_**In the heat of the moment, she yelled, "Okay! I admit it! I fucked him to hurt you!"**_

_**I winced at her words. I knew a part of her had done it to spite me but it hurt to hear her say she had fucked someone else aloud.**_

_**We had paused our foam bat battle for a moment and then she started hitting me again. "But you did it first and we were still married! Of course, it was not the only reason but you're right, a part of me wanted you to hurt! Does it make you happy to know that I did that? Did you get what you wanted now that I said it aloud?"**_

_**Fine, she wanted to continue this…let's go.**_

"_**No! I don't feel better! You wanna know why? Because I know that I fucking cheated on you, I pushed you towards that vile fucker, and there is nothing I can do to change that! Do you have any idea how hard it is to know that you were only with him because of me? The things he could have done to you…to Charley! I should have been there to protect you…but I wasn't…because I fucked up and I was too stupid to do what I should have done and instead, I cheated.**_

"_**But you know what else is fucked up? You ignored the signs of my drinking problem. You enabled me for so long and then you just pushed me away and I'm sorry…I am so fucking sorry that I hurt you. You are the only woman I have ever loved and the last person I would ever want to hurt."**_

_**By this point, I had stopped hitting her with the foam bat and fallen to my knees.**_

_**Then the tears started.**_

_**Fucking tears.**_

_**As soon as I dropped to the floor, Bella stopped hitting me.**_

_**I closed my eyes and cried with my face in my hands. **_

_**As I felt small hands pulling mine away from my face, I looked into the deep brown eyes of my love. She had joined me on the floor and was holding my hands tightly in hers.**_

_**There we were, facing each other on our knees…surrendering to one another. Tears were streaming down my angel's beautiful cheeks.**_

"_**I accept your apology. You're right…I did enable you. I thought that if I pushed it aside and got rid of the evidence…then it would go away. In my mind, if I just didn't think about it…then you didn't have a drinking problem.**_

"_**I should have talked to you…about everything. I'm sorry, Edward…about everything…pushing you away…ignoring the drinking…all the hurtful things I've said…Riley…I'm just sorry about everything."**_

_**My breath hitched and I squeezed her hands tighter.**_

"_**I forgive you and I'm sorry about all of the bad things I ever did or said, baby. I never meant anything hateful that I have ever said to you…especially all the things I said when we were divorcing."**_

_**She looked shocked.**_

"_**You…forgive me? Just like that?" she questioned.**_

"_**Of course, I love you. There is no other option than for me to forgive you."**_

_**She nodded and I pulled her towards me, holding her in my arms. I heard her whisper into my chest, "I love you too."**_

_**It felt good to hear those words from her…although I knew she was not ready to say them where she knew I could hear them. **_

_**As she wrapped her arms around my neck, we heard Dr. Weber speak. I had almost forgotten she was still here.**_

"_**Do you see how important it is to work through the anger and let it go?" She asked us.**_

"_**Yes," we both said quietly.**_

"_**Good. I think you two have had a breakthrough today. There is something I want you to do. You need to do some intimacy exercises. One of them I want for you to try is speaking through your eyes."**_

"_**Through our eyes?" Bella questioned.**_

_**I was wondering that myself.**_

"_**Yes…it's true that eyes are the windows to your soul. I want you two to touch each other in some way…handholding…press your foreheads together…something…and then speak through your eyes. You need to practice intimacy exercises without being sexual."**_

_**That was the day we started speaking through our eyes. Bella and I discussed it later and realized we had more intimacy between us as teenagers than we did as adults. It was time to get that back between us…so we had been trying.**_

_**End Flashback**_

"Edward, where did you go?" Bella's voice broke me from my thoughts.

I did not realize we were sitting in my parent's driveway already.

"Sorry, love. Just thinking."

"About?" she questioned.

"I can't believe our Char is a year old today, that's all. I'm just reflecting."

She smiled and grasped my hand over the center console. "Let's do this," she said.

The party today was for mostly family. James and Tanya were coming as well.

Those two had recently moved to Forks themselves. They wanted to raise their baby in a small town where family was important. Yes, right after the anniversary party back in September, James confided in me that Tanya was pregnant.

Between the two of them, they really did not have any family. James had lost most of his family because of his drinking and the only person Tanya had in her life was her mom who turned out to be very unsupportive of her being with James.

Tanya told us her mom's issues stemmed from the father that she never knew. However, she was not going to let her mom's problems keep her away from the man that she loved. She loved James for who he was now…not his past.

She was due to pop any day now and would more than likely be very uncomfortable at Charley's party. They were having a boy and neither of them could contain their excitement.

Bella formed a friendship with both of them as soon as they were introduced. They were good people and easy to like. They fit in well with the rest of the family and just like that, we became a surrogate family for them.

We made our way into the house with our impatient daughter.

Let the party begin!

The birthday party went off without a hitch. Everyone abided by our wishes and kept their gifts for Charley to a minimum. We did not want her becoming spoiled and she was only one. We asked that everyone only get her one gift and it needed to be something reasonable.

Shockingly enough, my family was actually able to adhere to that.

Most of our family had left with the exception of James and Tanya.

James and I were sitting on the floor in the living room playing with Charley while my dad sat in his recliner reading the paper and laughing at us.

Bella and Tanya were in the kitchen helping my mom clean-up. Well, if I knew my mom, she and Bella were cleaning up while Tanya sat and relaxed.

The three women joined us in the living room a little while later. Tanya sat down on the couch with James getting up from the floor to join her.

Bella sat with Charley and me on the floor smiling at our daughter.

My mom touched my dad on his arm and said, "Why don't we head up…it's been a long day."

A wicked smile crossed his face and they kissed Charley before heading upstairs.

Gross…I knew what was going to happen and suddenly I really wanted to leave.

"Are your parents about to go do what I think they are about to go do?" James asked with an amused expression on his face.

"Yes," I cringed.

Everyone in the room laughed but me…even Charley and she had no idea what she was even giggling about. She was only doing it because everyone else was.

"Way to go Mr. and Mrs. C," James yelled.

I just shook my head at him.

Bella reached over and tapped my hand. "So…Tanya and I were talking in the kitchen."

She looked over to Tanya and they shared a glance. Tanya turned to James and said, "You know…it's what we talked about earlier."

James nodded.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Tanya and James have been saving up…and they are going to get a small business loan for the rest. They want to open a hair salon."

"Okay…I am still failing to see what this has to do with me."

I was happy for my friends but I was still confused as to what they were all looking at me for.

James spoke next, "As you know hair is T's expertise. I have wanted to do this for her for a long time. She will handle the customers, while I manage the place and handle the business side of things."

"That's awesome you guys but…"

He put his hand up and laughed at me. "Jesus, Ed, would you let me finish please. This would go a lot smoother if you would stop interrupting us."

I chuckled and motioned for him to continue as Charley crawled into my lap.

My baby girl.

"We want you to draw it," Tanya said.

"Wait…what?"

"Edward, your pictures are amazing. You can draw…paint…design…you are talented. You know this. They want you to draw out a design of the hair salon. Then…they want you to do murals inside on the walls to make it warm and inviting," Bella said smiling at me.

This was amazing…it was just what I had been looking for. I still had not worked but I knew I wanted to do something with my art.

"I would even love it if you could paint some pictures to go on the walls that we will leave plain without the murals," Tanya said excitedly.

I was drawing all the time…but it still had not been anything for me to make a living at…until now.

"Are you serious?" I asked looking towards my friends.

"As a heart attack," James responded with a grin.

"You got it! How about we have a business meeting and you guys can let me know your thoughts on what you want for the salon and we can go from there."

"That sounds awesome…Edw…" Tanya started but stopped as she clutched her stomach.

James jumped up from the couch and looked down.

"Oh hell, Mrs. C is going to kill us!"

Tanya's water had broken and she was in labor.

Everything happened in a blur. Bella and I went with James to get Tanya to the hospital while my parents stayed with Charley.

The birthing process did not last long for Tanya. She ended up having Bella and James in the room while she delivered.

It made me happy that Bella was so close with two people who were very important to me.

Jonathan James Roberts or J.J. as we planned to call him was born on Charley's birthday. They would always share the day and only be a year apart.

I hoped that he would always look out for her and they would be great friends.

Once all the excitement of that was over, I drove Bella home. I called my parents and Charley was already sleeping so we thought it would be best to leave her there for the night.

"Are you okay?" I asked Bella.

"Yeah…it's just…I loved seeing you holding him tonight. I miss Charley being that little."

A part of me wanted to tell her it was all right and one day she would see me holding another baby of ours. However, a part of me did not know if that were true or not. I still did not know where we were with each other…besides being friends.

Would friendship be all that we ever had?

I walked her into the apartment as I always did whenever I brought her home. She asked me to have a cup of tea with her so I did.

As we were sitting on the couch, discussing the day, I noticed some pages sitting on the coffee table.

I grabbed them from the table and started looking through them. They were pages of a children's book.

The book was about a little girl named Charley who was always getting into trouble. On the first page was the title, _Here Comes Trouble: Charley Starts Crawling_.

"Bells, what is this?"

She shrugged. "Just something I started doing once Charley starting getting into everything and becoming a sly little sneaker."

Sometimes we had taken to calling her '_Sneaker'_ because she was always sneaking into something and getting into trouble. That girl was definitely a handful.

I noticed there were no pictures on any of the pages and an idea hit me.

"Can I take these with me? I'd like to look over everything, if that's okay."

"Sure, just don't be too harsh…it's still the rough draft."

"Of course," I said as I stood from the couch. "I'm gonna take off then."

"Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. I have work, do you want to pick Charley up and take her to daycare?" she asked.

"That sounds good. How about I pick Charley up early from daycare, go to the grocery store and pick up some things for dinner. Then she and I can have dinner waiting for Mommy when she gets home from work."

"I think that would be great," she said smiling.

When Bella started teaching, we agreed that Charley would go to daycare. We wanted her to be exposed to other children and did not want her completely dependent on only the two of us.

It was hard…and it took everything in me to not turn around and go back to the daycare to get her about five minutes after I left her on her first day.

But it worked out…and it gave me lots of time to perfect my drawing skills and continue with my therapy.

As soon as I got home, I read every page that Bella had written. The ideas started flowing through my brain and soon I was drawing up a storm.

I had illustrations to go with all of her words. They were beautiful, both the words and the pictures.

It was early morning when I finally finished and I crashed after calling my mom and asking her to take Charley to daycare for me.

Charley was thrilled when I went to pick her up early. She did well away from us and enjoyed being there…but she still loved it when one of us came to get her.

The fun was short lived when my beautiful little girl threw a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store over some piece of candy that she wanted.

Her tears and sniffles were getting to me but I was not going to give into her demands.

I knelt down in front of her so that I could see eye to eye with her and said, "Charley Renee…this kind of behavior is unacceptable. I told you no…and I am not going to say it again," I kept my voice stern and even.

I knew even though she was only one, she understood most of what I was saying to her. She understood what the word no meant and that she was in trouble. Just because she was a child, I was not going to talk down to her or scream at her.

She continued to sniffle and was now hiccupping from getting herself so worked up.

Everything was fine once we made it to the house. We cooked spaghetti and meatballs for Bella and had dinner as a family when she came home from work.

After putting Charley to bed, I showed Bella my illustrations to go along with her book.

She flung herself at me and started crying.

"Bella, what is it baby?" I asked as she hugged me tighter.

"I can't believe you did that! I thought you just wanted to read them! These pictures are amazing, Edward."

"Well, I have faith in you…and I believe that this book is going to do great…in fact…I think you should do a series."

"A what?"

"A series…you can have your very own, _Here Comes Trouble _series about our sneaker…and I could do the pictures…if you would like that."

"I would love that! It's an awesome idea! Thank you."

She pulled back from our embrace and placed her hands on my face. I then felt her forehead pressed against mine and she looked deep into my eyes.

_Eye conversation._

Instead of only speaking through our eyes, I heard her musical voice.

"I _forgive_ you," she said breathlessly.

_**A/N…We will see some more time skipping in the next chapter.**_

_**Reviewers will get teasers from BPOV. We are looking at 2 more regular chapters and then the epilogue. Right now, I don't see that changing. **_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for editing quickly and for teacher1209 for pre-reading!**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Getting Lost__** by **__Vican_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5414208/2/Getting_Lost**_

**oHo**


	30. You Make Me Stutter

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. **_

_**A/N…Soundtrack for the chapter:**_

_Stutter__** by **__Maroon 5_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=OhLSBPhHaTE**_

_Cool Rider__** from the **__Grease 2 Soundtrack_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=DIsETmNtNTs**_

_Two of the Lucky Ones__** by **__The Droge & Summers Blend_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=XZg1r6HxIHk**_

Chapter 29

BPOV

_**Saturday July 16, 2011: Age 27**_

Today Tanya and James were finally getting married. Every woman wanted to look beautiful on her wedding day and she decided to wait until she was back to her normal weight after having J.J.

I was her matron of honor while Edward was James's best man. Rosalie and Alice were her two bridesmaids. James asked Jasper and Emmett to be his groomsmen.

Charley was the flower girl and J.J. was the ring bearer. They were both a little young for the job but we felt they could handle it.

My baby girl was now a little over two-years old while J.J. was fourteen months old. Those two were inseparable when they got together.

Char had been too cute practicing with him for the wedding. She was dragging him up and down the backyard at her dad's constantly and bossing him around to prepare for the big day. The little guy took it like a champ with a smile on his face.

One day…he would be able to tell her no.

The hair salon had been open for a little while and was doing really well. Edward had offered to loan James the money for it but he refused to take it. I suggested to Edward that he needed to be more forceful about it but he told me it was a pride thing and he was not going to push it. James _needed_ to do this all by himself…for his family.

All of the murals Edward painted inside the building were amazing. He had received offers to paint some in other businesses in Forks as well as Port Angeles. It was exciting for him to be able to use his artistic talents in such a way.

However, the main source of income for both of us had turned into our children's books. The two of us had become quite the team and enjoyed working on them together. While people did not want to read about my problems having a baby, they did want to read about the trouble our daughter got into on a daily basis.

That little girl was always into something and always kept a smile on our faces.

She was currently going through the terrible twos and terrible they were. It made for many interesting stories. I wrote the books and Edward illustrated them.

I was still teaching because I loved it too much to give it up. Edward and I were both satisfied with where we were in our careers and completely ecstatic about that part of our lives.

Our relationship was a different story. We were constantly hot and cold with one another because something seemed to be holding one or both of us back.

_**Flashback**_

"_**I **__forgive__** you," I whispered breathlessly.**_

_**Edward blinked and silently questioned me with his eyes. **_

_**I would be lying if I said I was not shocked by my own words. However, after they fell from my lips…I knew they were true.**_

_**He had changed…so much. He had returned to the person I saw in him when we were younger. **_

_**Every day, that man showed me how sorry he was…and in my heart…I had finally realized a few things.**_

_**Edward loved Charley and me more than anything else in the world.**_

_**He was sorry for what he had done and would change it if he could.**_

_**Hurting me was never his intention.**_

_**I played a large part in the downfall of our marriage and I enabled his drinking.**_

_**It was not my fault that he cheated.**_

_**He believed in me without any doubt and I was starting to believe in him once again. **_

_**In my heart, he was forgiven.**_

_**We were both still standing there silently. Edward finally spoke. "Are you sure? Did you mean that? Or was it a heat of the moment type thing?" he asked nervously. He probably thought I was going to take the words back or regret saying them.**_

_**Our foreheads were still pressed together as I smiled up at him. I slowly pulled my head away and placed my lips on his. He pulled me into him with one hand on my hip and the other around my waist.**_

_**I wrapped my arms around his neck and we allowed our lips to start moving against each other. The kiss quickly turned into full-blown making out with tongues dancing and hands groping.**_

_**Warning bells were sounding in my head when I felt my own hands heading towards his jeans to unbutton them at the same time his hands were sneaking up under my shirt, heading for my breasts.**_

_**As I pulled away, his head fell to my shoulder and he groaned.**_

_**I chuckled at him because he reminded me of when we were teenagers and he wanted to go all the way but I wasn't ready yet. He was patient and understanding…even though I continued to give him blue balls.**_

"_**Bel-la," he whined. "You're thinking too hard…let go."**_

_**I pulled his face up to look at me…I needed him to see the honesty in my eyes. He needed to understand.**_

"_**Edward, no," I said shaking my head sadly. "We're not ready for this…**__I'm__** not ready. I do forgive you…I meant that completely…but I can't have sex with you yet."**_

_**In his eyes, I could see that he knew it too…however…he didn't want to admit it.**_

"_**I do understand how you feel Bella. I just love you so much…and I want to be with you again. However, as much as I want that…I know it's not all about me. I will wait as long as you need me to…but will you tell me why you're not ready?"**_

"_**I'm scared," I said quietly.**_

"_**Of what, sweetheart?"**_

"_**I don't know…I just feel scared…and I'm not ready."**_

"_**Then we'll wait," he nodded. Then he shook his head as if he was clearing the fog from his mind that had just clouded our judgment a few minutes ago. "You're right, Bella. We shouldn't be having sex yet…we haven't even dated again for crying out loud!"**_

"_**Are you asking me out, Mr. Cullen?"**_

"_**Not yet Miss Swan, but believe me I will."**_

_**End Flashback**_

It took him several more months before he would finally ask me out on an _official_ date…and even then, it was not just the two of us. We took Charley to the park and out for pizza.

Dr. Weber told us that we were both afraid of one another.

Edward was afraid of not being good enough after everything that happened…I was afraid of being hurt again.

She said if we truly wanted to be a couple again…we were going to have to take risks and let go of our fears.

Unfortunately, since it was her job to be the voice of reason, she also suggested that we date other people as well.

We both had a difficult time with that suggestion. Edward refused completely at first. When Dr. Weber explained to him that it was important for our relationship, he agreed to do it.

The points she made were valid. Neither of us had really ever dated before…we went right from being best friends, straight to a couple as teenagers…then on to marriage.

He had an affair, which was not dating, and I was with Riley.

We all know how _that_ turned out.

It had been about three months since I had forgiven him and I knew in my heart the only person I wanted to date was Edward. But, if Dr. Weber thought this would help us both realize that and be less afraid to fall…then so be it.

I would do anything to get us back to where we once were.

Edward and I spent the next few months going out on dates with others as well as each other. However, our dates together _always_ included Charley…so they were more like family outings.

I welcomed Charley with us during these dates because I found that most of the time I was alone with Edward, I wanted to attack him.

My self-control was waning fast and I did not know how long I could continue to go out on these pointless dates with other men.

The guys I were dating were nice enough…but they were _not_ Edward. That solidified everything for me…I wanted Edward back but I was still scared.

Now I was scared that he was enjoying dating these other women more than I was.

Things took a turn…for the better last week.

Dr. Weber was frustrated with us and she told us that we both knew what to do about our fears. She explained that we needed to discuss what was going on with our dates…together.

We did just that.

After we left the office, we went to Edward's house and laid everything out on the table.

He told me he hated all the dates and I told him the same.

_**Flashback**_

"_**Do you really think I want to date all of these women? You're the only one I want to date!"**_

_**I threw my hands up in the air. We were not arguing or raising our voices but I was completely frustrated.**_

"_**Then why didn't you ever ask me out? Just the two of us? Dr. Weber told us we needed to do this because we're afraid…apparently of being together. She might not have done that if you would have asked me out on your own."**_

"_**Isabella, we are not going to prove anything by laying the blame on one another. You and I both know that we are equally scared of the next step. It could make or break us."**_

_**I nodded because he was right.**_

_**It didn't matter whose fault it was. We needed to do what we wanted to do and take that risk.**_

_**We were sitting on the couch and I pressed my forehead to his, pleading to him with my eyes to understand my thoughts.**_

_**The cell phone ringing from my purse interrupted our eye conversation.**_

_**It was my dad.**_

"_**Hello? Is everything okay?"**_

"_**Kind of…Tink, I know you and Edward had a session this evening and you needed some time alone…but I need my little girl. Sue…um…crap why is this so hard…she dumped me, Bells."**_

"_**What? Dad, I'll be right there."**_

_**I explained to Edward that I needed to go to my dad and he was more than understanding. He asked if I wanted him to come with me and he could keep Charley or something…anything he could do to help.**_

_**As much as I wanted to accept his offer, I felt that it would be best if we parted ways here. I needed to think about where we would go from here and I knew he would need to do the same. It would be best to take a break for the night.**_

_**We shared a brief hug at the door and I was on my way to my dad's.**_

_**Charley was already asleep so I decided we would spend the night.**_

_**It was really hard to see my dad heartbroken and I wanted to be there for him.**_

_**Apparently, Sue's children never took to Charlie the way that I had taken to her. That was a big issue for her and she did not want to hurt Seth and Leah. Also, she felt that dad was still not letting go of my mom after all these years. She told him that she needed a man who could commit to her completely and she did not think that would ever be him.**_

"_**I'm sorry, Dad," I told him.**_

"_**It's all right, Bells. I think she's right. I don't see myself ever getting married again…Sue deserves more than that."**_

_**I made my dad his favorite meal of steak and potatoes. He was not happy about the side salad that I insisted on making but he got over it. I reminded him that he needed to eat better so he could always be around for Charley.**_

_**After we had dinner, I checked on Charley and she was still sound asleep.**_

_**When I went back downstairs, my dad had a huge bowl of popcorn and a sheepish grin on his face.**_

"_**Feel up for watching a movie with your old man like we used to?" he asked.**_

_**I nodded and said, "Make it something scary."**_

_**We always watched scary movies when I was growing up and my mom could never handle them. She would laugh at us and go to bed.**_

_**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx**_

_**The next morning was a Saturday and a loud knocking on the front door woke up me up from a deep sleep. It was already after nine and I could not believe Char had slept in so late.**_

_**Charlie and I had stayed up late watching movies before turning in around three in the morning.**_

_**When I looked to the spot beside me where Charley was when I fell asleep, it was empty. I sighed softly and a smile spread across my face.**_

_**My dad must have gotten her and let me sleep.**_

_**He was amazing and I loved my father completely. I would never let our relationship drift apart ever again.**_

_**Once I made it downstairs, I saw who was at the door.**_

_**Charlie was sitting in the recliner with his granddaughter on his lap and they were watching Dora the Explorer. **_

_**Tanya, Alice, and Rose were all seated on the couch.**_

_**I cleared my throat and my three best friends turned to look at me.**_

"_**Great, you're up!" Alice said jumping up from the couch.**_

"_**What's up, ladies?" I questioned.**_

_**Alice stood in front of me beaming with Rose and Tanya quickly joining her.**_

"_**Seriously, what is wrong with you guys? You look like you're about to burst with happiness."**_

_**They were kind of making me nervous…I had no idea what those three were up to.**_

_**Before they could speak, my little girl finally noticed that I was awake. **_

_**She removed herself from her grandpa's lap and ran to me, wrapping her tiny arms around my legs.**_

"_**Mornin' Mommy," she giggled.**_

_**Charley was talking more and more. There were certain things she said really well and others that she had trouble saying. Every time I took her for her check-ups with her pediatrician, he informed me that she was quite well spoken for her age and ahead of where she should be.**_

_**Of course, that made both Edward and I beam like the proud parents that we were.**_

_**Rose knelt down to where Charley was and turned her so that she could look at her. "Hey, Char…how would you like to help us dress Mommy up and make her look pretty?"**_

_**Now I was really nervous. I was not in the mood to play Bella Barbie today.**_

"_**Mommy aways pwetty," she said proudly.**_

_That's my girl._

_**I smirked down at Rose who was smiling back at me as she shrugged. She returned her attention to Charley.**_

"_**Yes, you're right. Your mommy is always pretty…but she needs to look **__extra__** pretty today because she has an important date."**_

_Date? What date?_

_**Tanya then leaned down and whispered something in Charley's ear. The biggest grin I had ever seen crossed my child's face.**_

_**She then started dancing around the room singing, apparently in her own little world now. What did Tanya tell her that made her so incredibly happy?**_

_**Charley stood in front of her Pops and motioned for him to lean down to her. My father was laughing as Char cupped her hand over his ear to tell him her secret.**_

_**Charlie clapped his hands together and stood up after he kissed Charley on the cheek.**_

"_**Well, that's my cue to leave."**_

"_**Dad, wait…where are you going? What's going on with everyone?"**_

_**He crossed the room and kissed my forehead as he chuckled, "Good luck, Tink…you're going to need it with these four."**_

_**With that, he left…my dad just left me…feeding me to the fashion wolves! **_

_**I put my hands on my hips and started in on my friends. "Look you guys, I don't know what date you are talking about. I'm done with all that. I am so tired of going out on those pointless dates when Edward is the only one I want to go out with.**_

"_**Besides, I don't really have anything to wear here since I spent the night as a spur of the moment thing and it's freaking nine in the morning! Who goes on a date that early?"**_

"_**Alice?" Tanya said with a smirk.**_

_**Alice went over to the other recliner in the living room and pulled up a garment bag along with a duffle bag and a make-up carrier.**_

_**How did I not see that stuff when I came downstairs?**_

"_**Let's go," she smiled.**_

_**I was soon being led back upstairs with Tanya and Rose gently pulling my arms while Charley was pushing me from behind. **_

_Traitor__**.**_

_**Alice followed us carrying everything.**_

_**Once we made it to my room, they immediately started in on me. They directed me to the shower and for some crazy reason I did what they wanted me to do.**_

_**Something told me I wanted to go on this date…there was something about the excitement in all of their eyes…including my daughter's.**_

_**The way that Charley reacted…could it be that I was going on a date with Edward? **_

_**I was afraid to hope.**_

_**Fear…it seemed to be constantly ruling me lately. I needed to stop being afraid and just let go. It was time to take a risk as Dr. Weber had told us.**_

_**I decided while I was in the shower that I was going to go along with getting ready and doing what they asked of me.**_

_**I would be disappointed if I was not getting ready for Edward…but I would be patient and see what happened next.**_

_**After the shower, they informed me that I needed to get dressed so they could do hair and make-up.**_

_**The outfit they had picked out surprised me. It looked like something out of a Grease movie. They had me wear black satin Capri pants, a bright pink and black striped satin tube top, a pink satin jacket and black heels.**_

_**Alice finished off the outfit with a pink scarf tied around my neck. Tanya put my hair up into a high ponytail with pink sunglasses on top of my head. Rose then took care of my make-up…which was hardly anything…the way **__Edward__** liked it.**_

_**There was a knock on the front door and my heart started racing. I sat down on the edge of my bed to calm my nerves for a moment.**_

_**Charley climbed onto my lap and took my face into her small hands.**_

"_**You wook butiful Mommy," she said before kissing my nose lightly.**_

_**Everyone ushered me down the stairs.**_

_**They motioned for me to answer the door. As I walked towards the sound of the knocking, I paused and turned back to my friends. "Why am I dressed like this? Can you just tell me that?"**_

"_**Go!" They all said in unison.**_

_**When I finally opened the front door, I felt relieved and overjoyed.**_

_**There standing in front of me looking sexy as hell, was none other than Edward Cullen.**_

_**Taking in his appearance, everything clicked in my head.**_

_**He was wearing black leather pants, a white t-shirt, a black leather jacket and boots.**_

_**His hair was more tousled than usual and he had on sunglasses. **_

_**I smiled as I bit my lip and said nervously, "You remembered."**_

"_**Of course I did, **__Stephanie__**. Are you ready for your date with your **__cool rider__**?"**_

_**I rolled my eyes and laughed at his cheesiness but inside I was positively giddy.**_

_**I turned around and looked to my friends who were all looking at us while smiling.**_

"_**Well, I guess I am going out with **__Michael Carrington__** and I will see you ladies later. Don't wait up."**_

_**Edward and I headed outside and then he stopped. "Hang on, I'll be right back."**_

_**He ran back into the house and when he returned he was smiling bigger than before. I raised my eyebrow in question and he shrugged. "Had to say bye to Char and give her a kiss from her daddy."**_

_Oh dear God I loved that man._

_**I noticed the Ducati in the driveway and I realized it was not just any Ducati…it was Edward's Ducati. It was the bike he had stopped riding years ago when he said he needed to be taken more seriously.**_

"_**You got the Ducati out of storage?"**_

"_**Yep, I'm done caring what people think. We need to have fun and enjoy ourselves, baby. Are you ready for your day?"**_

_**I nodded.**_

_**He straddled the bike and I followed. My body was tingling from the heat between us. **_

_**As he pulled out of the driveway, I realized I had no idea where we were going and I did could not have cared less.**_

_**Growing up, I was obsessed with Grease 2. I was very excited when the theatre club put on a production of it our senior year. They had open auditions and I tried out for Stephanie Zinone while Edward tried out for Michael Carrington. **_

_**Unfortunately, Jessica Stanley beat me out for the part of Stephanie but Edward got the part of Michael. Being the great boyfriend that he was, he refused to be in the musical if I was not in it. **_

_**When I told him that he could still do it and it would not hurt my feelings, he told me he only tried out so we could be in it together and if I wasn't going to be in it then it would not be fun for him.**_

_**I fell in love with him even more that day as he promised me that one day he would figure out a way for me to play Stephanie Zinone and live out my Grease 2 fantasies.**_

_**Apparently, today was that day…and just like that day in high school…today…I fell in love with him even more.**_

_**He took me to a diner in Port Angeles that was a fifties type diner and we ordered a large milkshake with two straws while we waited for our large order of French fries which we doused in a ton of ketchup.**_

_**Everyone was looking at us, the way we were dressed, but neither of us cared.**_

_**We sat at that diner and we talked…and laughed…more than we ever had before in our lives together.**_

_**It was wonderful.**_

_**When we left the diner, he would not tell me where we were going. **_

"_**Hold on tight and you'll know when we get there," he smirked.**_

_**As we pulled into the bowling alley parking lot, I laughed. **_

_**He was really going all out to make me feel as if I was in the movie. There was a bowling alley scene that I absolutely adored. That scene and the scene where Stephanie sang Cool Rider were my two favorite scenes of the entire movie.**_

_**We bowled several games with him beating me at all of them except for one.**_

_**When I realized I had won, I could not help myself. I ran and jumped in his arms hoping he would catch me, which he did. I could not contain my excitement from the day any longer and as I wrapped my legs around his waist, I pressed my lips to his.**_

_**Our lips molded together and it was not long before our tongues were dancing together. A throat clearing beside us broke us from our lust-induced haze.**_

_**There was a man standing at the ball return next to us with his arms crossed over his chest, looking disgusted at our display.**_

_Oops. Hadn't he ever seen anyone in love?_

"_**Let's get out of here," he whispered into my ear. **_

_**Words escaped me so I simply nodded.**_

_**Once we were back on his bike, we headed to LaPush. We ended the day by walking along the beach, barefooted. Edward even rolled up his pant legs and led us out to the edge of the water.**_

_**We had not done this since we were in high school. As adults, when I asked him to do something like this, he was too uptight to do it. He didn't want to mess up his clothes.**_

_**Now…he did not even care that the water was splashing up on his pants as we played on the beach.**_

_**He chased me and I ran away laughing. As he caught me, he wrapped me into his arms and placed soft, gently kisses all over my face.**_

"_**I love you, Bella."**_

"_**I love you too. Thank you so much for today. You have no idea how much it has meant to me."**_

"_**Shall we go home to our little girl?" **_

"_**Yes," I breathed.**_

_**We shared one more passionate kiss before we got back on his bike and headed back to Charlie's to retrieve our daughter.**_

_**The day was perfect and I knew I was no longer afraid. **_

_**End Flashback**_

That was last Saturday. With the exception of last night, Charley and I had spent every night since then over at Edward's house. Charley slept in her room while I slept in Edward's room with him…in his bed.

Our physical relationship during this time had not gone past passionate kisses and over the clothes groping. The sexual tension between us was enormous…like a big fat elephant in the room.

Last night, we did not spend the night at his house because it was the Bachelor and Bachelorette parties for Tanya and James.

The boys were informed that strippers would not be tolerated and we agreed to the same.

My dad was going to watch Charley and J.J. overnight at his house so that the guys could do their thing and we could all spend the night in my apartment, doing girlie things and discussing things that my little one did not need to hear.

It was a fun night and Tanya was more than ready for today.

"Bella? Are you with us?" Tanya's voice brought me back from my thoughts.

I shook my head to clear it.

"Absolutely! Are you ready, girl?"

"More than ever. I can't wait to walk down the aisle to that man. He makes me so happy, Bella."

I smiled at her and gave her a quick hug. "Then let's go get you to your guy."

Edward and I walked down the aisle, our arms linked together…both of us glancing at the other one with big goofy grins on our faces.

We were happy for our friends…and just thrilled to be at the point in our lives that we were.

The wedding was being held in Carlisle and Esme's backyard. Everything was small and simple just as the happy couple wanted.

Charlie adored Tanya and since she did not have anyone else to walk her down the aisle, he stepped up to the plate.

Once Edward and I took our places and waited for the bride's big entrance, I noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting in the front row leering at Edward.

She would not take her eyes off him and it was irritating me to no end. He must have sensed my agitation because he caught my eye and mouthed 'I love you' which settled me immediately as I mouthed the words back to him.

Charley and J.J. were the hit of the wedding as they made their way down towards us. It played out much like it had during their practice sessions. Edward and I laughed as our daughter pretty much dragged the poor boy down the aisle as she tried to throw out flowers in front of her at the same time.

Poor J.J…he would definitely have his hands full with that girl.

I laughed harder when Rose leaned into me and said, "Wow, I just had a vision of Char pulling him down the aisle like that for their own wedding. That boy has his work cut out for him with that little spitfire."

She was right…Charley and J.J. were younger than Edward and I were when we met…but those two reminded me so much of us. It would not surprise me in the least if they ended up together.

The ceremony went by in a blur and before I knew it, we were at the reception giving our toasts. Once that was over, we quickly moved onto the bride and groom's first dance together.

They were dancing to a song called _Two of the Lucky Ones_. I had never heard it before, but once it started playing, I found myself lost in the words.

Edward glanced at me from across the table we were sitting at and I could tell from the look on his face he was asking me to dance.

I nodded and he stood to lead me to the makeshift dance floor in the backyard.

We pressed our foreheads together as we did quite frequently now. He pulled me towards him and wrapped his arms around me.

"This dress is driving me crazy. You are oozing sex appeal and I need to get you out of it," he whispered into my ear.

Tanya had chosen black and white for her colors. All of the bridesmaid dresses were black and strapless. Charley's flower girl dress was white with black flowers.

"Is Char spending the night with your dad?" he asked.

"Yes," I said as he kissed my neck.

"Good," he purred.

I felt eyes on us and I looked over his shoulder to see the same blonde-haired woman from earlier burning holes through us.

"Who is that?" I asked motioning behind him.

He turned to look and groaned. "That is Irina. She works at the salon."

"It seems as if she really likes you. She can't seem to take her eyes off you or stop staring daggers at me," I spat.

I was pissed with the way she kept staring.

"Bella, you're the only one I care about. Ignore her."

"Do you know her?" I asked quietly.

He nodded and said, "Yes, we went on one date. I can't stand her because she can't stop talking about herself…and she's not you. Please let it go, she is jealous, she can't have me, end of story."

I wrapped my arms around him tighter and pressed my face into his chest…hoping that it made her angry.

"Love you," I mumbled in contentment.

"I love you too, more than ever."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

James and Tanya were not going to have a honeymoon because they wanted to wait until the salon had been open longer and until J.J. was a little older.

Carlisle and Esme offered to keep J.J. for the night so that they could at least spend their wedding night alone and uninterrupted.

The party was winding down after the happy couple left and headed to their hotel room. Charlie had already left with our sleeping angel and I went to the bathroom to freshen up while Edward waited for me downstairs with everyone.

When I finished in the bathroom, I went in search for him but he was nowhere to be found. Alice told me she thought he went upstairs but was not sure where exactly.

I went upstairs to look for him, noticing that the door to his old room was open and I heard voices. Not wanting to interrupt, I walked to the door to listen but did not enter the room.

I heard Edward's voice…and a _woman's_.

"Irina, you need to back off. Go home!" He said forcefully.

_He was speaking to Irina._

I moved a little closer, so that I could see through the crack in the door and hear their words better.

"Come on, Edward…you know you want me," she said seductively as she ran her finger down his chest.

He shoved her hand away. "No…I…don't," he said through gritted teeth. "Don't touch me again."

"Why? You don't trust yourself do you? You know you want to fuck me. It could be so great if you just let things happen. I can satisfy you, I promise. I overheard you talking to your friends…about how long it has been for you. I can't believe a gorgeous, sexual man like yourself has seriously not had sex for the last few years because you are waiting on a woman who will probably never want you sexually again. It's really a waste if you ask me."

_What_?

_He had not had sex…with anyone…for that long? He was truly waiting for me._

Everything became clear to me then…he was not a _cheater_…he was a man who made a mistake and _cheated_. Now I could see the difference. He truly did deserve a second chance…and he deserved _all_ of me.

She made her way towards him and tried wrapping her arms around his neck. He continued to push her away but she was relentless and kept trying to touch him.

"Stop touching me! It's not a waste. I am waiting for the perfect woman…she is perfect for me in every way. She's my soul mate and I refuse to be with anyone else when I know I can and will have perfection again…one day. You need to go, Irina."

She lunged at him again. "Edward, come on. No one will ever have to know. It will be our little secret. I won't tell a soul, you have my word. I just want to feel you," she said as she tried touching his cock through his pants.

That did it. I had never seen Edward more furious than he was as he shoved her away. Luckily, his bed was behind her and she fell onto it instead of the floor.

A part of me wished it had been the floor, but I knew Edward would be upset if he hurt a woman…even if she was a whore who deserved it.

Irina looked completely shocked that he was rejecting her. I was thrilled.

He towered over her and sternly said, "_I_ would _know_. Don't you understand that? No one else would have to know…but I _would_. I love Bella…always have…always will. Nothing will ever change that…even if she never takes me back…even if she can never give herself to me physically. I have to live with the fact that I _cheated_ every day for the rest of my life…and I will…_never_ do it again. Listen to me _carefully_…you need to get the hell out of this house and don't come back. If I tell Tanya what you've done, you will no longer have a job. Do not push me!"

He turned away from her and stormed towards the door. I was in too much shock to move. When he opened the door, he was startled to see me standing there.

"Bella! I swear nothing happened. Baby, please do not be upset with me…"

I pressed my fingers to his lips and pulled his head down so I could whisper in his ear, "I heard _everything_. Take me to your house…_now_."

I licked my lips and then bit down on my lip seductively to let him know he was definitely not in the doghouse.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him down the stairs, quickly leading him to his car. As we drove home, the neither of us said a word. The sexual tension in the car was palpable.

"Can I turn on the radio? The silence is driving me mad," Edward said.

"Of course," I said laughing.

The sounds of the song _Stutter _by Maroon 5 filled the car and it made the sexual urges coursing through my body even more prominent.

Edward kept one hand on the wheel and the other hand on his thigh, nervously tapping in tune with the music.

I reached over and started rubbing his hand, which was also causing me to rub his thigh.

"Are we really going to do this?" he squeaked.

He sounded completely turned on and I willed him to drive faster in my mind.

"_Yes_," I said breathlessly.

"_This time I really need to do things right. Shivers that you give me keep me freezing all night," _the voice on the radio sang.

Edward had moved his hand that I was rubbing and placed it back on the steering wheel. He was gripping it tightly.

I started rubbing more of his inner thigh towards his cock…and he was shivering.

"Bella…if you want to make it to my house in one piece…it's been so very long since you touched me like that…_please_ stop…I'm _begging_ you."

I smirked and pulled my hand away.

No sooner than he pulled his Volvo into the driveway, we both opened our car doors and ran towards the porch. Edward had the front door open and closed in a flash and then I found myself pressed against it roughly.

"Did you enjoy teasing me in the car, love? It wasn't very nice. It took everything I had in me to not pull over to the side of the road and fuck you senseless."

My panties were already wet from the tension between us and now with his words, they were positively soaked. His hands were exploring my body as he started roughly kissing my neck.

"You should have," I whispered.

"Why is that?" he asked in between kisses.

"Because then you would already be _inside_ of me and we would not be standing here, _talking_."

A growl erupted from his chest and I found myself thrown over his shoulder as he ran towards the stairs.

Suddenly, I was hit the urge to get my mouth on him somewhere.

The way he had me over his shoulder, I was at a perfect height to bite into his ass through his pants…so that was exactly what I did.

We had just reached the bottom of the stairs when I bit down. Obviously, it had taken him by surprise so he tripped and dropped to his knees on the stairs causing me to fall backwards.

Laughter was consuming us both from the silliness of the situation.

As we stopped laughing and shared a look of desire with one another, our frenzied kisses continued once again.

We could not keep our hands off each other and I knew that our reunion sex was definitely going to happen right here on the stairs.

I couldn't stop it.

I needed him _now_.

I pushed the tuxedo jacket down his arms and threw it…I was unsure where it landed. Next went his shirt, which I ripped open, sending the buttons flying everywhere.

Once the upper half of his body was completely naked, I took a moment to take in his beautiful body. It had been awhile since I had seen him this way and I was pleasantly surprised at the changes in his physique from all of the working out he did now.

I made a mental note to begin working out with him as soon as possible. I wanted to keep up with him and never give him any reason to not find my own body desirable…plus it would give us something else to do together.

"Are you in a hurry, my Bella?" he asked as he nibbled my ear.

"Yes, finish getting naked."

"Let's go upstairs," he said excitedly.

I shook my head.

"No…I want it…right here…please?"

"How can I deny you when you plead with me sweetheart? But…I want to take you upstairs to my bed and make love to you."

"We can do that later. I need you…like this…right now. I can't wait. Edward, we've planned out our sex life enough for a lifetime…I just want to feel your cock inside of me…hard and fast…now. Don't deny me the pleasures that I know we both _want_…that we both _need_."

Something in him snapped at my words and before I could blink, he moved us so that he was sitting on the stairs and I had my dress pushed up around my waist, straddling him.

"That's more like it," I said as he quickly unbuttoned his pants.

I was kissing his chest all over as he moved me enough to fidget with his pants and get his erection out of the confines of his underwear. He had to push his pants down slightly to get his cock through the slit of his boxers.

We both sounded like wild animals between his growling and my moaning.

Without any further thought, he pushed my panties aside and inserted two fingers to my core. It was wet and throbbing, waiting for him.

"Fuck, Bella!" He said into my ear.

"You're so wet for me, love. Are you ready for me, baby?"

As I moved up and down on his hand, I knew the answer was yes because I needed more of him.

He removed his hand and grasped his cock placing it right at my entrance.

"No turning back if we do this, Bella. If this happens, we are giving ourselves to one another…we're back together…_officially_…are we on the same page with that?"

I answered him by smiling and impaling myself on his stiff member.

As I moved up and down on him I said, "You bet your ass we are back together. You are all mine, Mr. Cullen and don't you dare think otherwise."

"Jesus," he stuttered.

"Nope, not Jesus, just Bella," I smiled.

This was not sweet and gentle at all…it was rough and hard…just what I wanted for our reunion sex. We had not been this animalistic with each other since our first year of marriage and we desperately needed this.

He had his hands placed firmly on my hips lifting me up and down on him while I met him thrust for thrust and wrapped my arms around his neck while kissing him fiercely.

Somewhere along the way of our marriage, this passion had gotten lost. It was now back and better than ever and I would be damned if we ever lost it again.

We had to pull away from our kissing for a quick breath of air.

"Bella, you feel so fucking good. It's been too long…I'm not going to last. You have no idea how amazing this is to me," he said.

"Yes, I do. It's fucking fantastic, Edward. Do you have any idea how hot it made me to see you push Irina away the way that you did? It was the sexiest thing you have ever done…the things that you said…" I trailed off as he distracted me by sucking on my neck.

He pulled his head away and looked right into my eyes. "I meant every goddamn word that I said. She is nothing to me. I don't want anyone else…only you…always only you, baby."

We continued our thrusts and they became faster and harder. "Less talking, more fucking," I told him.

Our kisses continued and it was not long before I felt the tightening in my stomach. We were soon coming apart around each other…me first…and then Edward shortly after.

When we climaxed, we both held each other even tighter and screamed each other's names.

During my orgasm, I had grabbed a hold of his hair and was tugging it roughly. I still had a hold of it when we finished and his head was pressed against my chest. I felt wetness on my collarbone and I realized I must have been pulling his hair too hard.

_Crap, I had made him cry._

I released his hair and started rubbing his head, "I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to pull your hair so hard. It must have hurt."

He pulled his head back and I could see two tears streaming down his cheeks as I quickly brushed them away with my thumbs. "Next time let me know that I'm hurting you."

Suddenly, his grip on me became almost painful. He pressed his head into my chest again and sobbed…holding me tight…as if he thought I was going to disappear.

"Baby, what is it?" I asked as I rubbed his back tenderly.

I made him lean back and look up at me. "Edward, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

He smiled then and said, "Nothing…absolutely nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect. I just never thought this would happen again and I feel overwhelmed. Sorry for being such a pussy," he laughed.

"Don't say that. It means the world to me that you feel this strongly about what we did. I just hope that you don't cry like a baby _every_ time we have sex."

I wanted to lighten the moment and I hoped what I said would make him laugh and not upset him.

It had the desired effect and I soon found myself being lifted from his lap as he stood up and flung me over his shoulder yet again.

"I'll show you, Miss Swan. I'll show you right fucking now that I'm not going to cry every time we have sex."

Both of us were laughing again and when we made it to his room, he placed me gently on his bed.

"Now, Isabella Swan, I am going to get us both completely naked and spend the rest of the night worshipping every single inch of your glorious body. How does that sound?"

"Yes, please."

That was all I could say because he had already removed the rest of his clothes and I could not stop staring at his nude form before me.

He was amazing…and he was all mine.

After quickly removing my clothes finally, he made good on his promises. We spent the rest of the night making slow, passionate love.

There was no rush…only whispered 'I love you's' and promises of forever. He raised my hands above my head and we held our hands tightly together as we came together once again.

Our eyes never left each other.

There was a brief pause for sleep and then Edward entering me from behind where he was currently spooning me caused me to awaken.

"I'm sorry, baby. I had to have you again. I hope that's all right."

As he continued his frenzied thrusts, I said, "Feel free to wake me up this way any time."

We fell asleep again, immediately after we both had our release. Neither of us could move a muscle and he stayed inside of me while we slept. It was wonderful.

I knew that we were truly one again and back on track to where we should be headed. I was going to get my _husband_ back and I could not have been happier.

Unfortunately, as we all learn in life, things are not always rainbows and fairytales. Tragedy strikes us when we least expect it.

Sometime during the night, I heard a cell phone ringing. I knew it was not mine because it was in my purse that I was pretty sure was still in the Volvo.

I tried to wake Edward up but he was sleeping so peacefully, I decided not to disturb him. I removed myself from his arms and fished his phone out of the pocket of his pants.

"Hello?" I answered.

"_Bella_?" It was Jasper. What was he doing calling at this hour?

"Hey Jazz, Edward's sleeping…what's up?"

"_You need to wake him. Something has happened. The two of you need to get to the house as soon as possible_."

Jasper, Alice, Rose and Emmett had all spent the night at Carlisle and Esme's so they would not have to drive back to Seattle late at night.

My thoughts immediately went to Charley.

"Jasper, tell me! Please tell me my baby is okay!"

"_Christ, I'm sorry, Bells. Yes, Charley is perfectly fine. She's with your dad still. It's…Carlisle…he's gone…Bells…you need to get Edward here…they need him_."

The tears started before I could even comprehend what was happening.

"_Gone_…what do you mean he's _gone_? Jasper what the hell is going on?" I cried.

"_Carlisle was called into the hospital earlier. There was a pile up on the freeway and they needed all the help they could get. A man came into the ER strung out and waving a gun around. He wanted narcotics. Carlisle tried to talk him down and the guy shot him…it's awful Bells…he died instantly. There was nothing anyone could do. Your dad couldn't go to the scene because he didn't want to leave Charley_."

Sobs were overwhelming my body.

Carlisle was gone…dead…as in we would never see him again.

How was this even possible?

Earlier today…everything was fine…we were all together…a family…happy…just like that…he's fucking gone!

"Jasper, I've got to go. I need to wake Edward."

"_Okay Bella, get him here_."

"I will," I said as I closed the phone.

Edward was the one who told me about Renee.

Now I had to tell him his father was gone.

It was not that long ago everything was finally perfect for us.

How was I going to tell the man that I loved that his father was dead and he would never see him again?

I prayed that we were strong enough to get through this.

_**A/N…One more chapter to go and then the Epilogue, my lovelies.**_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for betaing and to teacher1209 for pre-reading.**_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of the next chapter.**_

_**There are pictures up from this chapter and you can view them here:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Be sure to go and check them out! **_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_**Some Life in Me by Pinkpixiechick**_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/s/5679205/1/Some_Life_In_Me**_


	31. Triumph After Tragedy

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. **_

_**A/N…Soundtrack for this chapter:**_

_I'll Stand by You __**by**__ The Pretenders_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=maAyfcO-X3k**_

Chapter 30

EPOV

_**Saturday August 20, 2011: Age 28**_

As I stood in front of the long mirror, adjusting my tie, I allowed my mind to think back to everything that had brought me to this moment in my life.

It had been five weeks since one of the worst days of my life.

That day started out with such promise and hope.

Five weeks ago, Bella finally accepted me back into her life as more than friends…we were once again a couple.

I fell asleep at peace, only to be awakened with news that would change my life as well as the lives of my entire family.

Five weeks ago, my father was murdered and I would never get to see him again.

The patriarch of the Cullen family was simply…_gone_ and nothing would bring him back to us.

He would never know the rest of his grandchildren who came after Charley Renee…would never be at another holiday or family dinner ever again…he would never see how Char turned out as an adult.

It was hard explaining to a two-year old that she would never see her grandfather who she adored again.

During that time, Bella was my rock…actually…she was strong for my entire family. None of us would have made it through without her support…as well as Jasper and Rose. Those three kept us grounded and helped us through the difficult decisions when we had to pick out a casket and headstone…deciding on what he would be buried in…the reading of the will…and everything else that came with burying your father or husband.

When Bella told me what had happened, I felt as if I could not breathe. I was angry and I was terrified…that our relationship was not yet strong enough to make it through something like this.

But she proved once again how amazing she was and she proved to me that we could make it through anything as long as we had our daughter and each other.

_**Flashback**_

_**When Bella lost Renee, I never understood how she felt. Now that I was feeling the loss and pain of a parent being taken too soon…it made me wonder how she ever made it through.**_

_**It also showed me once again that I should have tried harder not to allow her depression to consume her.**_

_**I was too focused on my career and school to see that my wife was withering away in front of me and I just let it happen.**_

_**We would not make those mistakes again…either of us.**_

_**Once Bella told me the news, I made a vow to stay strong. I would not fall apart and I would not shed a tear. My first priority was to get to the house and to my mother. She had always comforted me whenever I needed it…and it was time for me to step up and be there for her.**_

_**I could fall apart later.**_

_**Before I left the safety of our bed, Bella grabbed my hand and pulled me to her so that our foreheads were pressed together.**_

"_**I love you. We will get through this…all of us. Let's go be there for the family now…later…you will let it out. Do you hear me? I understand if you need to hold it in for your family…but tonight when it's just you and me…I want you to let go. I'm here for you…always. Got it?"**_

_**I had never been more grateful for this woman in all my life. She was truly remarkable.**_

_**All I could do was nod before gently kissing her lips.**_

_**When I finished getting dressed and met Bella downstairs she was on the phone with her dad. I could tell by the trembling of her voice she was crying.**_

"_**I know. I love you too, Daddy. No, I think it's fine. Let me talk to her," she said. She turned and saw me standing in the living room and smiled softly at me. I held my arms open needing nothing more in that moment than to have her in my arms. As she walked to me and leaned into my embrace, she started talking again. **_

"_**Hey T. Thanks for doing this…I really appreciate it. Char is going to have a million questions for you when she wakes up. Just field them as best as you can…and we'll get her as soon as possible. Okay, I will. Bye."**_

_**As she tossed the phone behind her onto the couch, she explained that Charlie needed to go deal with the aftermath of the shooting and he called James and Tanya to see if they would stay with our sleeping daughter. They had already picked up J.J. from my parent's house. **_

_**Her arms tightened around my waist.**_

"_**It's such a shame. Yesterday started out amazing…now the day James and Tanya were married…the day we finally got back together…it's all going to be marred with overwhelming sadness because of this random act of senseless violence."**_

_**I didn't want to start that train of thought just yet…I needed to get to my family. If I started thinking of my grief, I would break down.**_

"_**Let's get to the house, okay?"**_

_**I felt Bella nod into my chest as she removed herself from my arms and started walking towards the door.**_

_**I grabbed her arm and playfully pulled her back to me. "Where do you think you're going? You are not allowed to leave my arms without two things."**_

"_**And what would those two things be?" She asked shyly.**_

"_**First, I love you…and the second is…a kiss," I said with a smirk.**_

_**The kiss was quick and gentle. It said everything it needed to…and we were on our way to my family.**_

_**I let Bella drive over to the house because my nerves were too rattled to concentrate. We held hands over the center console the entire way there.**_

_**Once we arrived at the house, time seemed to pass by in a blur. A friend of my father's from the hospital had come by and given my mom a sedative because she had been inconsolable. **_

_**Alice was not much better and Emmett was doing the same thing as me…holding it together for the family.**_

_**In the evening, Charlie brought our daughter to us after he had gone back to his house to relieve James and Tanya. They were going to go home and come by tomorrow…letting everyone just be for today.**_

_**Children notice things and Charley definitely knew everyone was sad.**_

_**I was sitting on the couch with my head in my hands when I heard the pitter-patter of little feet.**_

_**My tiny angel pulled my hands away from my face, grasping my face in her small ones. "Daddy sad," she said.**_

"_**Yeah, sweetheart, Daddy is sad."**_

_**She shrugged and asked, "Why?"**_

_**Bella noticed the exchange and quickly returned to her spot beside me on the couch. As she held my hand tightly in hers, she explained to our daughter that Grandpa Carlisle was up in heaven with Grandma Renee. **_

_**I didn't have the strength to do it myself but I listened intently to every word that Bella said to her. Thank God, she was strong enough to do this, because at the moment, I was not.**_

_**I felt Char's arms wrap around my neck and she whispered, "Wuv you Daddy."**_

_**Thankfully Bella could tell I was about to lose it. She told everyone we were going to head home and come back in the morning.**_

_**After I had checked on my mom who was still sleeping, I made my way back to Bella so that we could leave. Charlie offered to take Char with him again for the night which was a blessing because I was consumed with emotions that were making me feel helpless and I did not want my little girl to see me break down.**_

_**Originally, I wanted to spend the night with my mom at her house, but she affirmed that she wanted to be alone. The sedatives kept her sleeping most of the day anyway. The doctor said it was best for her to rest today since tomorrow would be the beginning of the hard decisions we would have to start making.**_

_**I said goodbye to Charley with a heavy heart. She did not even question why she had to leave with her Pops again and spend the night at his house.**_

_**The rest of the night was spent with Bella and I together in my bed. There was nothing sexual about that night. We held each other tight and she let me cry myself to sleep.**_

_**Overwhelming sobs rocked my body.**_

_**How did she get through losing her mother? The pain was unbearable and I wanted a drink badly.**_

_**Bella whispered, "Let it out, baby. Let go, please. Feel the pain…it's the only way to get through it. I love you and I'm here…I'll stand by you always."**_

_**That was everything I needed to hear. **_

_**The next few days were surreal. It felt as if I were living someone else's life instead of my own. **_

_**I was thankful when everything was over and done. My siblings and their spouses were immediately figuring out changes they could make in their lives to allow them to move back to either Forks or Port Angeles. **_

_**We all felt it was important to be as big of a support system for our mom as we could.**_

_**Charlie had been great…he was stepping up and doing anything Mom needed. Bella was going to AA meetings with me and helping me fight the urge to drink. She helped me deal with my grief and along with the help of Dr. Weber and James; I was able to not take that drink that I desperately wanted.**_

_**It had only been two weeks since my father had died and I was at the cemetery visiting him and Renee when clarity hit me.**_

_**Life was so fucking short…and I had wasted too much of it.**_

_**I needed Bella and Charley to be with me always…for good.**_

_**As much as I wanted her to be my wife again, I was afraid it would be too soon for her…but I was going to ask her to move in with me.**_

_**I went straight to my house where I found her waiting for me with our daughter.**_

_**Bella was sitting in the living room, in the recliner rocking Charley gently.**_

"_**Hey," I said.**_

_**She put her finger up to her lips telling me to be quiet. I nodded and went into the kitchen to find something to drink. I was extremely nervous about what I was going to ask her. When I was in these types of situations a few years ago, my instinct would be to drink something alcoholic to calm my jitters.**_

_**Obviously, that was not going to happen now.**_

_**I settled for water and made my way out to the living room to see that Bella was gone. Figuring that she was putting Charley down in her bed for her nap, I sat down on the couch and went over in my head, what I wanted to say to her when she returned.**_

_**After a few minutes of my inner ramblings, I felt her sitting beside me. She pulled my hand into hers. "How was your visit?"**_

"_**It was good," I replied quietly.**_

"_**Is everything, okay?"**_

"_**No, Bella, it's not." **_

_**She looked worried so I continued quickly. I turned to face her and pulled my hand out of hers. I pressed my forehead against hers and grasped her delicate face in my hands. I wanted her to see in my eyes what I was about to say to her. **_

"_**Isabella, I love you more and more every day. It's always been you…you're my best friend…my soul mate…the mother of my child. I will spend every day of the rest of my life missing my father…but if his death has taught me anything…it's that life is precious…fragile…and too fucking short. I pray that this isn't too soon…and I'm not fucking everything up…but would you and Charley please come home. Please move in here with me…let's be a family…for real. I want to wake up with you every morning and fall asleep with you every night."**_

_**I saw the tears pooling in her eyes and I hoped they were happy ones. **_

_**I felt her hands on my face when she whispered, "Only on one condition."**_

_**My entire body froze…what was the condition?**_

"_**What condition would that be?" I asked cautiously.**_

_**A beautiful mischievous grin crossed her face as she said, "Marry me, first."**_

_**As I closed my eyes and thought about what she had just said to me…I could not believe it. Did she just say what I thought she did?**_

_**I opened my eyes to see her looking back at me biting her lip as she always did when she was nervous.**_

"_**What did you just say?"**_

"_**I said…marry me first. Charley and I will move in with you if you marry me. I want to be Mrs. Cullen again. Please? Would you like me to get down on one knee? I can if that's what you need. Be my husband, Edward."**_

_**I answered her by pressing my lips to hers immediately. When I pulled away, she laughed and said, "So is that a yes or what? Seriously…help a girl out here and give her an answer."**_

"_**Yes, of course the answer is fucking yes!" I practically yelled before I started kissing her again. I pushed her back into the couch as our kisses became heated. **_

_**I was confused when I felt her pushing me away. **_

"_**Hold on Romeo, there's something you need to know…something that I need to tell you."**_

_**That made me nervous.**_

"_**What is it?"**_

"_**Well, I just want you to know that this was not something I planned…and I hope it doesn't make you mad."**_

"_**Nothing would make me mad at you, sweetheart."**_

_**She looked at me skeptically.**_

"_**Okay, well some things would…but would you just tell me…please?" I pleaded.**_

"_**You know how we…made love…the night…well you know…" she paused.**_

_**I nodded waiting for her to continue.**_

_**Cue the lip biting once again and this time she was also fidgeting with the hem of her shirt.**_

"_**A few days before the wedding, I had to have my IUD removed. It was causing me problems and the plan was for me to get back on the pill but I had not done it yet the night we were together. We didn't…you know…use anything."**_

_Holy fuck!_

"_**Wait…are you telling me there is a chance you could be pregnant right now?"**_

_**She nodded.**_

"_**Please don't be mad at me for not saying anything, I realized it later but it was during all of the funeral planning and everything and I have been waiting for the right time to tell you. I don't want you to think that's why I asked you to marry me…because it's not. I still want to re-marry you even if I'm not pregnant. Are you mad?"**_

_**I could not stop smiling.**_

"_**No, love. I have never been happier. I would never be mad about you being pregnant with my baby."**_

_**I hugged her immediately and made my way down to her stomach, lifting up her shirt. I kissed the smooth, flat surface as I said, "God, I hope you are. I can experience it all this time. How soon do you want to get married? I can go look for flights to Vegas right now."**_

_**She laughed and said, "As much as I would love to do that…no…we can't take Charley to Vegas and we are not letting her miss watching her parents finally getting married again."**_

"_**You're right…I hate it when you're right," I said playfully. I pulled away from her stomach and leaned back into the couch. I opened my arms to her and she snuggled into my body.**_

_**We held each other and talked about the wedding and the possibility of a new addition to our family.**_

_**I said a silent prayer in my head to Carlisle and Renee, asking them to please grant our wish. Then it hit me and I knew that Bella was pregnant…she had to be. The night we came together again…was the night Carlisle died. A life taken from us…a new life created.**_

_**Yes, with everything in me…I knew that my soon-to-be wife…was pregnant with our second child and I could not contain my joy.**_

"_**What are you smiling about?" Bella asked.**_

"_**Nothing…nothing at all. Let's go wake Charley up or she will never go to sleep tonight. I say we take her to the park and then go out for pizza. What do you say?"**_

"_**I say that sounds like a plan."**_

_**End Flashback**_

That was what led us to where we were today. Bella and I were getting married for the second time and I was nervous as hell.

We were trying to do things different from our first wedding…trying to avoid any bad omens or anything like that. We just wanted this time around to be unlike the first time as much as possible.

That was the only superstitious notion we had about the nuptials. When Alice tried to enforce the usual wedding traditions on us, we both refused. Neither of us wanted the bachelor or bachelorette rituals…we had no intentions of being kept apart last night.

Last night was spent cuddled up in my bed with Bella and Charley. We watched Disney movies with our daughter and then the three of us fell asleep together. Char was nestled into her mother's arms and I had my arm firmly placed over both of them in a protective embrace.

It was _perfect_.

Bella and I both agreed that we were not going without seeing each other today as well…much to the displeasure of my sister.

We were not doing things her way…it was our way or not at all. Thankfully, both of us were able to hold firm with our wishes and not let the little sprite intimidate us with her evil glare.

My twin could be quite scary when she wanted to be…but we were calling the shots this time…not her.

There was a very big reason why Bella and I did not want to forgo seeing each other today before the ceremony since there was something we had planned.

I would not see her in the dress…but I would still need to see her for what we had to do.

The wedding was being held at a park here in Forks that had a nice gazebo and that would be where we stood to say our vows once again.

Afterwards, my mom was throwing us a reception at her house. It felt weird to say that…but that was how things were now. It had only been five weeks…but we all knew my father would not want anyone dwelling or being miserable.

We had not forgotten him but we were grateful for the time that we had with him and would continue on with our lives…just as he would have wanted.

I knew it would sound crazy to most…but I could feel him with us today.

The guys were getting ready at my mom's house while the girls got ready at mine and Bella's house. She had not officially moved in with me yet…but she would as soon as we finished with our honeymoon week.

We were not going to go anywhere out of town in case we were needed for whatever reason. It was just too soon after the tragedy to leave the family. But, we were going to stay secluded in our home, hopefully without any interruptions.

Charlie and my mom were going to take turns caring for Char while we were locked away in our newlywed bliss.

We had not slept together since the night we got back together. Once we decided to get married, it seemed important to wait…especially since we planned to make the wedding happen as soon as possible.

Here we were only a few short weeks later and it was happening. How we were able to pull this off so quickly I will never know…but I was indebted to my family and friends forever for helping us make our dreams come true this fast.

A knock on the door broke me from my thoughts as I was still fidgeting with the stupid tie.

"Come in," I said. I was in my old room and I had a good idea who was about to walk through the door. I was thankful that my room had a bathroom adjourned to it and that we would not be bothered by anyone else.

"Hey," the angel said softly.

"Hey, baby," I said as I turned to her.

There she was…the woman I loved more than my own life. Bella was dressed simply in jeans and a t-shirt…making me feel quite overdressed since I was already in most of my tuxedo except for the vest and jacket.

"Did you get it?" I asked her excitedly.

She nodded with just as much enthusiasm as she held up the bag from the drug store.

I pulled her in for a kiss and a hug and then playfully swatted her behind. "Then get your cute little ass in there and pee on a stick."

She laughed but hurriedly jogged to the bathroom with the test.

We knew it had only been five weeks and it might not even show up yet…but Bella missed the period she was supposed to have a few days ago and neither of us could wait any longer to find out if she was indeed pregnant or not.

After a minute or so, she returned from the bathroom with the test in hand. I led her over to the end of my bed and we sat and waited…hand in hand.

For three minutes, we sat there in silence…both of us putting all of our hopes into that test. We had already discussed it and we were not going to let it break us if she wasn't pregnant.

Something told me that she was…but either way…we decided she was not going back on the pill and whatever happened would happen.

We were not going to stress ourselves out about it…we would have sex without protection and if we ended up pregnant…awesome…if we didn't…it would be okay because at least we had Charley.

She turned and looked at the clock on the nightstand by my bed. "It's time…I can't look, Edward. You do it."

I felt her push the test into my hands and I took a deep breath as I looked down at it. Clear as day, the word on the digital screen said '_pregnant_.'

The breath I was holding escaped and I pulled her into my arms letting the test fall to the floor. "It's positive baby, it's fucking positive!"

"Really?" She asked as she pulled back from me. Shock was written all over her features. "But what if it's false…what if…"

I silenced her with my lips. When I stopped kissing her, I reminded her of what we had talked about. "Remember, love…we're not thinking negatively. Trust my feelings…I know that it is true…I can feel it in my gut. It's not false…we're going to have a baby again."

She nodded as she cried. "You're right…I can feel it too…I think I felt it that night." We went back to our kissing and then she suddenly pulled away. "Edward…if it's a boy…I want Carlisle's name in there some way…would that be all right?"

My heart warmed at that.

"That would be perfect my love…Dad would love that."

In that moment, the need I had for this woman was overtaking me. I had to have her right now.

It didn't matter that some of our family were downstairs preparing for our wedding reception.

It didn't matter that she was supposed to be across town getting into her wedding dress.

It didn't matter that I was already dressed and ready to go.

It didn't matter that we had said we would wait until we were married.

All that mattered was that I had to have her…_immediately_…the need to be inside of her was greater than it had ever been…and that was saying a lot.

Judging from the raw passion that I could see in Bella's eyes…she was feeling the exact same thing as me.

Before I knew what was happening, we were clawing at one another trying to remove clothing as fast as possible.

"God, I _want_ you," she whispered as she bit down on my lip.

"Fuck, I _need_ you," I responded.

Clothes were thrown across the room, Bella was on her back and I was inside of her promptly.

As I pushed in and out of her, all that could be heard in the room were our moans and the slapping of our skin.

We ravaged each other's mouths trying to contain our noises in an effort to keep our activities from the rest of the house.

"Harder, Edward…oh God, please…I need it…harder."

I slowed my movements but made sure each thrust I made…was harder than the last…making me enter her deeper every time.

Her short fingernails were clawing at my back and I loved every minute of it.

"I love you," I told her.

"Oh…mmm…so good…I love you…too," she mumbled.

"You feel amazing, Bella. Each time it gets better and better…ungh!" Coherent thought was leaving my mind quickly as I felt my orgasm approaching.

Her warmth was surrounding my cock with a vice grip and I could feel her muscles clenching around me.

"That's it baby, I know you're close. Cum for me, love," I whispered to her as my thrusts picked up speed again.

I pulled back and sat on my heels as I pulled her with me so that she was straddling me.

She writhed up and down on my length as I met her thrust for thrust.

Her hands found their way into my hair and she tugged hard. I knew this was it for her as she bit down on my neck and moaned as her orgasm hit her. Had we been completely alone in the house, she would have been screaming out expletives along with my name.

Shortly after she came, I followed. I hid my face in her hair and muffled the sounds my orgasm was causing me to make.

We were both sweaty and panting hard as we released one another and fell onto the pillows at the head of the bed.

"That was…_wow_," she said.

"Yeah…_wow_," was my lame answer.

Bella curled into my side and I wrapped my arm around her. I used my free hand to gently caress her stomach.

"I'm really excited…" I said pausing.

"I know…me too."

"No, I mean I'm really excited, baby. I get to be there from the beginning…I won't miss any of…" I stopped. I removed my hand from her stomach and pinched the bridge of my nose as I tried to stop the tears from coming.

I did not want to ruin this perfect day…but the hurt that I had cause myself by not being there with her throughout her pregnancy with Charley was overwhelming me.

It was something I had to live with every day of my life.

Bella pulled my hand away from my nose and started kissing it. "Stop…we've talked about this. No dwelling on the past…only moving forward. You missed the pregnancy…but you were there when it really mattered…the day she was born and every day since. Don't beat yourself up over it…and this baby…well this baby is your second chance at all the pregnancy things you missed. Let's be happy and enjoy it."

"How did I get so lucky? I really love you…I hope you know that," I told her.

"I do know it and I love you too and I feel just as lucky."

She pushed herself up and started kissing me, which was quickly leading to a second round.

A swift pounding on my bedroom door interrupted us.

"Isabella Swan! I know you're in there! Imagine my surprise when I asked Charley where you were and she told me you went to see her daddy! I know what you two are up to and you have three minutes to get dressed and get your skinny ass out here or I am coming in to get you!" Alice yelled.

Bella was at our house earlier with all the girls and was supposed to be getting ready…but we had planned for her to sneak away, get the pregnancy test and come here so she could take it and we could wait for the results together.

The sex was an added bonus.

"The evil sprite has spoken. I guess I better get dressed and go home to get ready."

I smiled at her and said, "Yeah…let's go get married, shall we?"

She nodded and removed herself from the bed. I stayed right where I was and watched her get dressed again. I could not wait to see her swollen with our child. I was such an ass when she was pregnant with Charley and drunk for most of it that _sadly_…I did not remember everything about how she looked during that time.

I would never make that mistake again.

Her carrying our second child was a gift, a blessing and I was overwhelmed with content and happiness.

She pressed a quick kiss to my lips before heading to the door. As she paused and looked back at me, "You better get out of that bed and get ready, mister. I won't be happy if you stand me up."

"I would never stand you up, Isabella. You are my life…you and our children. I'll be there waiting for you."

"See you in a bit," she said as she turned and opened the door. Alice practically fell through the door.

"Ew, Edward you better be covered up! It reeks like sex in here! I was right, wasn't I? You two were up here getting it on while the rest of us are…"

Bella placed her hand over my sister's mouth effectively shutting her up.

"Alice…it's our wedding day…we just found out we are pregnant again…we had lots to celebrate. Now…shut the fuck up…and let's get this show on the road."

I had never seen Alice so speechless in all of my life. It was actually quite funny. Bella pulled Alice through the door but my sister returned quickly and poked her head back into the room.

"Congratulations, bro. Love you!"

"Love you too, Ali!" I shouted back at her.

I forced myself out of the bed and got dressed once again.

In a short amount of time, Bella would be Isabella Cullen once again. We were going to have another baby…it felt unreal that all of these good things were happening.

It made me really miss my dad. I turned to my old dresser and saw a picture of him with me on the day of my high school graduation.

He looked at me with love and pride.

As much as I was sad that he would never meet his new grandchild…nor would my child ever know his Grandpa Carlisle…I knew that my dad had sent this baby to us.

This baby was created the day he died and he or she was a sign for me that Carlisle would always be watching over us.

That made me feel safe…and loved.

I looked at the picture and said, "Thanks, Dad…for _everything_."

It was time to go find the guys and head over to the park. I could not wait any longer to be re-married to my wife.

_**A/N…Here is the deal my lovelies. I have been extremely busy and sick since Saturday. Therefore, this chapter did not go as far as I wanted it to.**_

_**SO…there will actually be ONE MORE regular chapter and THEN the epilogue. I am sure that most of you are fine with this new development. LOL. **_

_**Reviewers will get a teaser of the next chapter which will either be all BPOV or it might actually be split for this one…not sure yet…we'll see how it goes. **_

_**Thanks to dolphin62598 for betaing this so quickly…seriously…she got it back to me in like an hour or less. She rocks! Thanks to teacher1209 for taking time out of her busy schedule to pre-read as always.**_

_**If you haven't gone over to my picture page to check out toddler Charley, you should. **_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Beautiful Stranger__** by **__NJNYTwiGals_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/5535491/2/Beautiful_Stranger**_

_**An awesome story written by awesome ladies! Go check it out and tell them I sent ya.**_


	32. Bliss

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. **_

_**A/N…Soundtrack for this chapter:**_

_Lucky__** by **__Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=acvIVA9-FMQ**_

_**Also, I tried to add Bella's POV to this chapter but I just couldn't make it fit for what I wanted...so it's all Edward again. The epilogue will be from both POV's though.**_

Chapter 31

EPOV

_**Saturday August 20, 2011: Age 28**_

I checked myself one more time in the mirror before heading out of my room. As soon as I reached the bottom of the stairs, I saw Charlie waiting for me.

"I was expecting you, sir."

He smiled wickedly before speaking, "I just want to make sure you know…if you hurt her again…she won't be able to stop me from shooting you this time. Are we clear?"

"_Crystal_, sir," I told him truthfully.

If I fucked up and hurt her again…I'd _let_ him shoot me.

He patted me on the back and said, "All right then…enough of the '_sir'_ crap. It makes me feel older than I am. Charlie is fine."

I nodded.

James, Jasper and my brother chose that moment to appear from the kitchen.

"Did you scare him Charlie?" Emmett asked excitedly.

"I think he knows well enough where I stand," he answered while not taking his eyes off me.

"Yes, I know exactly where you stand, Charlie…and I am appropriately terrified." I then turned to my brother. "We've discussed this before…I will not be screwing this up. I _won't_ lose her again."

Emmett put his hands up in defense and said, "Okay, okay…just making sure."

Charlie drove us all over to the park where my love was waiting.

When we pulled up, I could see the decorations that the ladies had worked so hard on completing in time for the ceremony.

Bella asked Charley to be her maid of honor. It was hilarious watching her try to explain that job to a two-year old.

In the end, Char knew that mommy and daddy were getting married, we would all be living together permanently and she had to help mommy make many big decisions.

All she cared about was the part where the three of us were going to live together all the time now.

Our daughter really loved purple so Bella chose a light lavender and white for our colors. As long as she was happy, it didn't matter to me what they were.

James was my best man with Emmett and Jasper as my groomsmen.

Bella had one extra in her party since Charley was the maid of honor. That left Tanya, Rose and Alice to all three be bridesmaids.

It worked out though, because I would be walking my little girl down the aisle as she refused to go with anyone else at the rehearsal.

I asked her if she wanted to walk down the aisle with her uncle James and her response was to shake her head, pout and say, "No…onwy wif you Daddy!"

Normally, we did not give into her when she pouted and tried to get her way…but on this particular issue…if my daughter wanted me to walk her down that aisle then damn it that's what I was going to do.

Bella and I decided not to have the traditional wedding song played as she walked down the aisle. The DJ my mom hired for the reception was at the ceremony and going to play _Lucky_ by _Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat_ on repeat as all of us walked down the aisle.

Right before we were supposed to begin our procession down to the gazebo, I felt a presence beside me.

I turned to see Charlie beside us.

"Is everything okay? Shouldn't you be with Bella?" I asked.

He cleared his throat and seemed nervous. "I just wanted to come tell you…that despite everything I told you earlier…which I meant by the way…you hurt her again…I will shoot you. But besides that…Carlisle would be really proud of you, son. All he ever wanted was for you to be happy and become the man that he knew you could. I can see that man in you…here…today. That's all I wanted to say."

I was choked up from his words and could not speak. Charley was in my arms though and did not like that her pops ignored her.

"Pops!" she shouted quickly.

Charlie turned around and grinned at his granddaughter, "You look beautiful, pumpkin."

"Tank you," she giggled. She leaned her head into my chest and my arms tightened around her.

We turned back towards the aisle and waited for the music.

I looked down at my angel. "Are you going to walk like a big girl or do you want Daddy to carry you?"

"Cawy Daddy!" she said excitedly.

"All right, Daddy will carry you…only because it's a special day."

She nodded up and down quickly with a huge smile plastered on her face.

The music started and I pressed my lips to her forehead and she leaned her nose in for an Eskimo kiss. I granted her wishes and we began our trek down that aisle that seemed to drag on forever.

I just wanted to be married to my love already.

Bella had Alice as her first bridesmaid followed by Rose and then Tanya. We did things differently again though, we let each couple walk down with their spouse and then get in line according to their order once they reached the gazebo.

Charley was still in my arms when we saw Bella and Charlie at the end of the aisle. They paused as he leaned in to kiss his daughter's cheek and whisper something into her ear.

My angel whispered into mine, "Mommy wooks pwetty Daddy!"

"Yes she does, love, yes she does."

"Down!" Charley shouted. She wiggled until I set her down on her feet. After that, she took off running down the aisle towards her mom and her pops.

"Too swow, Mommy!"

She started pulling Bella and Charlie quickly by their hands towards us in the gazebo.

Everyone was laughing and the bride had a breathtakingly stunning smile on her face.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was enchanting…her beauty always amazed me…but this was unbelievable.

That was the nice romantic part of me…the manly caveman part of me wanted to shout from the rooftops that she was mine and I would be inside her in a matter of hours. He also wanted to say that as fuckhot as she looked in her wedding dress because it was beautiful…it was going to look even better in a pile on our bedroom floor later.

When the trio finally reached me, I could not contain my joy. Charley held her arms up and I scooped her back up into mine.

Bella shook her head and laughed at our daughter.

We decided that we both had things to say to each other but we wanted the traditional vows as well. The reverend said his speech and then it was time for our personal vows before the customary ones. I whispered into Char's ear and asked her if she could stand beside her mommy while I talked to her. She pouted but jumped down and took her place at her mother's side.

As I took Bella's hands into mine, I held back the tears and started, "Isabella Marie, you're my best friend, the love of my life, and the mother of my children. I know that I've made mistakes…and I can never take them back. What I promise you now is that I will spend the rest of my life showing you that I am sorry for those mistakes and that I am the man that you need. Thank you for your love, kindness and forgiveness. You make me a stronger, better person every single day just because you love me. I love you with all of my heart, baby."

I brought her hands to my mouth and gently kissed her knuckles.

Tears were welling up in her eyes as she took a deep breath and began, "Edward Anthony, we have _both_ made mistakes. We've both wronged one another but I promise you now, here in front of all of our friends and family…that it will never happen again. We're both stronger and in a better place now. Forgiving you, giving you…no giving _us_…a second chance…is the best decision I've ever made and I will never regret it as long as I live. You're my soul mate…my life and I love you…now and forever."

After that, we repeated the vows as the reverend told us to and both of our hands were trembling when we placed the rings on each other.

When the time came to kiss the bride, we did it with fervor. It was hard to control it from turning into something too passionate for our audience. However, Charley helped us with that as she began tugging on Bella's dress and my tuxedo jacket halfway through our kiss.

She clearly did not want us to forget about her.

Bella started to bend down to pick her up and I shook my head no and stopped her. "The baby, love. You shouldn't cart Charley around…she's heavy."

I pulled Char up into my arms and then we turned to see the shocked faces of our family.

"_Baby_?" My mom asked smiling from the front row. Charlie's grin matched hers and gasps were heard from all of our wedding party except for Alice of course, since she already knew.

I nodded at her unable to refrain from smiling at our news.

"I'm the baby," Charley stated.

_Oh boy…how was she going to take finding out that she would no longer be the baby?_

I shared a worried glance with my wife, which she returned with a tight smile. "Char, we'll talk about it later."

She said it to Charley but it was pretty much directed towards everyone else as well. We wanted to tell our daughter first and discuss things with her…as much as you could discuss it with a two-year old.

"Not now," Bella whispered to me. With that, Charley pecked both of us on the cheek and wanted down on the floor. As soon as she was on her feet, she ran to Charlie.

We were the first to leave and were ushered into the waiting limo that would take us back to my mom's house for the reception.

"Do you think Char is going to be okay with the new baby?" I asked her.

She picked up my hand and held it in her lap as I wrapped my arm around her.

Placing her head gently on my shoulder she said, "Yes…she'll be fine. We'll discuss it with her after our week to ourselves, okay?"

"Mmm hmmm," I mumbled.

I was completely content and did not want to move or talk about anything right now. Sitting here, holding my _wife_ in my arms, once again, it was bliss and I was overwhelmed with happiness in this moment.

When we entered the reception, my mom and Charlie announced to everyone with smiles on their faces that Mr. and Mrs. Edward Cullen had arrived.

A great sadness consumed me for a moment as I thought about the one person who was missing.

Bella squeezed my hand as we sat at the table for the meal. "He's here," she said as she placed her hand gently over my heart.

I was more grateful than ever that we were back to being in tune with each other. She knew what I was thinking and exactly what I needed to hear.

Right then, I made a promise in my mind to her and myself that we would never lose that connection ever again.

As the food was served, James stood up to give his toast. "I haven't known Edward as long as the rest of you. But I feel as if I have known him my entire life. I never thought I would have a friend like him…a _best_ friend. He's probably the strongest man I know. When he sets his mind to something…really decides to do it…he does it with conviction and never gives up. When I met Bella, I couldn't help but think there was no one in this world more perfect for him than her…even though at the time they were not even a couple any longer.

"I didn't know the Bella and Edward of the past…that the rest of you are familiar with. I know the Bella and Edward of _now_…and I have to say…these two are solid. You guys are going to have a long and happy life together…I just know it. Remember to love each other completely, always be honest no matter how much it hurts, and _never_ go to bed angry. Now, let's all raise our glasses in a toast to Bella and Edward."

Charley was maid of honor so technically, she was to give a toast as well. She just stood up in her chair clinked her spoon against her glass of milk and said, "Wuv you Mommy, wuv you Daddy!" After that, she sat back down and happily started eating again, ignoring everyone else.

It was hilarious, perfect, and totally _us_.

When it came time for our first dance, we didn't care how much Alice complained about overkill or how cheesy we were being. We went with what we wanted and our first dance was to _Lucky_.

"Bella, please talk some sense into your husband! You guys walked down the aisle to this…you can't have your first dance," she pleaded once more.

"Alice!" Bella warned. My twin knew by her tone to leave it alone. This was the song _we_ wanted…end of story.

We left Alice pouting where she stood as we made our way to the dance floor that had been created in the backyard.

Bella and I both knew she would get over it quickly as soon as Jasper came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

The song started and we floated around in each other's arms. As I held her close, we sang the words together.

"Lucky I'm in love with my best friend. Lucky to have been where I have been. Lucky to be coming home again," we sang.

Our first wedding was spent dodging glares from Charlie and worried whispers from everyone else about how we would probably not last because we were getting married too young.

This one was ideal…more than we could have ever asked for. I hated that we had to have a second wedding but in a way, I was glad. This was the one we should have had the first time.

Neither of us could stop smiling as I spun her around and brought her back to me. Once again, we wrapped our arms around each other as I sang the last verse to her, "I'm sailing through the sea to an island where we'll meet. You'll hear the music in the air; I'll put a flower in your hair."

On the part where I sang about putting a flower in her hair, I dipped her down quickly causing a giggle to escape from her.

Yeah…Alice was right…we were very _cheesy_…but we could not have cared less about that.

Bella picked up singing where I left off as I pulled her back to me firmly, "Through the breezes, through the trees. Move so pretty, you're all I see. As the world keeps spinning round, you hold me right here right now."

She laid her head on my chest and we stayed close, barely moving for the rest of the song…just simply _being_ together.

Everything after that was a blur. My mind was focused on getting her out of that dress and getting inside of her.

_What? I was a guy okay and my wife was constantly turning me on. _

Before I knew it, we were back at home in our bedroom. Char was upset that she had to go with Pops for the night but when he promised to take her fishing tomorrow she didn't care anymore.

That little girl loved to go fishing with Charlie. It was one of her favorite things to do and it thrilled my father-in-law to no end.

"Soooo…" Bella started.

"Here we are…at last. Why am I nervous?" I laughed.

She laughed with me and said, "I have no idea but I am too. Let's just take our time, okay?"

I nodded.

We began undressing each other slowly. Everything about the way we moved while removing our clothes was sensual and unhurried.

The first time I entered her once again as her husband, was surreal for us both. There were a few tears shared between us and then we continued our lovemaking. Bella was shocked when shortly after our first time; I was ready to go again.

"Love, I'm a man…you make me crazy all the time. Besides, I've spent enough of the last few years of my life without touching you…without being inside of you…I don't want to waste anymore time."

"But you were just inside of me earlier today too, and if we have sex again, it will be the third time in less than twenty-four hours. You don't think that makes us like nymphomaniacs or something?" she asked laughing.

"Not at all…I think it makes us newlyweds…in love…and completely normal."

"Then, get to work, _husband_."

"As you wish, _wife_," I growled.

We made love about three times total on our wedding night bringing us to a grand total of five for the day. The second day of our honeymoon was spent recovering from the previous day. Bella was way too sore to have sex but we did manage to pleasure each other orally.

The week uninterrupted and alone at the house was perfect. Clothes were forbidden the entire time and we never left the bedroom unless we absolutely had to.

During the times we did leave the bedroom, we managed to taint some surface in the house with our sexual desire.

Apparently, the pregnancy hormones were already kicking in and Bella was horny as hell…all the time throughout the week. She told me they would continue to get more intense the further along she went.

_Oh, what a wonderful few months it was going to be. _

_**Tuesday January 17, 2010: Age 28**_

Our little bundle of joy was due to be born in a little over three months. Bella's official due date was April twenty-first. We decided we wanted to know the sex but he or she had been stubborn so far and was refusing to let us know its sex.

My wife had her good days and her bad ones. Some days she was unbearably mean while others she was blissfully happy or terribly sad. She said the hormones were worse this time around and everything felt different with this pregnancy.

Sadly, I had no idea and could only go along with whatever she said.

One thing was certain; her sex drive was still in full force. I never thought I would say that I could not keep up with her but she was seriously wearing me out.

I was not about to complain though because it was fucking fantastic and I knew once the baby arrived everything would change in that department…at least for a while.

I made sure to savor every single moment of this pregnancy. When she had morning sickness in the beginning, I held her hair back while she threw up and then fed her saltines in bed while rubbing her stomach gently, begging our baby to be good to its mother.

Not one night went by without me kissing her stomach and talking to our baby before we fell asleep. Our permanent sleeping position always seemed to be me spooning her while rubbing her stomach until we both drifted off.

Charley was upset when we told her she was going to be a big sister, but then when she realized she would have a real live little person to play with and boss around, she was ecstatic.

We tried to explain to her she would not get to boss the baby around but instead of listening, she ran to her room to practice on her dolls.

Where our headstrong daughter was concerned, we had learned it was best to pick our battles so we chose to let that particular issue go for the time being.

She would be three this May and I swear sometimes that it felt as if she was three going on thirty.

Every moment of this time in our lives was precious to me.

I made no complaints when Bella sent me out at two in the morning for her latest cravings, whatever they were at the time.

Words could not describe the bittersweet feelings I had the first time I felt this baby kick.

_**Flashback**_

"_**Edward!" Bella called from the living room. She had not been home from work for long and I was finishing dinner. **_

_**Charley was helping me until her mom came home and then she wanted to hang out on the couch with her and tell her about our day.**_

_**I currently did not have any new art projects in the works and was taking a few weeks off to help out around the house and I let Charley skip daycare today so we could have a daddy and daughter day.**_

_**I ran into the living room fearing that something was wrong only to see Charley pressing her face into Bella's stomach smiling while Bella was laughing at her.**_

"_**What is it my ladies?"**_

"_**Daddy! Baby's kickin'! Come fewl!" Char beamed.**_

_**Many emotions consumed me when I pressed my hand to her stomach and felt our child move from inside of her.**_

_**Guilt**_

_**Regret**_

_**Joy**_

_**Bliss**_

_**Love**_

_**I wrapped my arms around both my girls, letting them know how much I loved them. I then pressed my lips to Bella's stomach and spoke softly to our newest addition.**_

"_**Daddy loves you little one…we all can't wait to meet you."**_

_**I knew that I could never get back the moments I missed while Bella was pregnant with our daughter. But she was right, I had been there for every moment since including her birth and I would be there for all the rest.**_

_**I refused to dwell any longer on what I had done wrong while she was pregnant the first time. My focus was to make sure I did everything right…**__now__**.**_

_**End Flashback**_

"Babe? Esme and Dad are going to be here soon. Are you ready to go?" Bella asked from the doorway of our bedroom.

My mom and Charlie were coming to stay with Char today while we went to another ultrasound appointment.

We were both hopeful that our child would cooperate today.

I turned and smiled at her as I crossed the room quickly before dropping to my knees in front of her. As I pushed her shirt up and gently started kissing her baby bulge, she laughed.

"What are you doing?"

"Having a talk with our baby." I continued and focused on the little one. "Listen, if you show us today if you are a boy or a girl so we can make your mommy happy and decorate your nursery, I'll help you buy your first car. How's that sound?"

"Really? You're bribing our child?"

"Hey, whatever works," I said as I put her shirt down and stood up to face her. Pulling her in for one quick kiss, she tried to turn it into more. "Baby, we don't have time and you know we cannot leave Char unattended down there for long."

She giggled, "Very true!"

Shortly after we made it downstairs, Esme and Charlie arrived allowing us to leave.

Both of us were nervous once we were back in the ultrasound room. As I held her hand tightly in mine, I heard the technician say the most wonderful words, "Congratulations you two, it's a boy!"

Bella was laughing beside me as I placed kisses all over her face making my way down to her stomach to say hello to my son.

"What is so funny?" I asked in between the kisses.

"I guess you're helping him get his first car. But you know you will have to do the same for Charley!"

I shrugged. "Yeah well I would have done it for both of them anyway."

The technician printed out our pictures and left us alone for a few so Bella could clean up.

"Are you excited?" Bella asked me.

"Yes, love. I'm on cloud nine! We'll have a girl and a boy."

"Charley will be thrilled," she laughed.

Our daughter continuously asked us to make the baby a boy because she wanted a baby brother. It was wonderful that she was getting her wish.

Bella was dressed and I was helping her stand up from the table but she stopped moving. "What is it?" I questioned.

"Matthew Carlisle…" she said and then paused.

"Matthew Carlisle Cullen…I love it," I told her honestly.

"Why Matthew?" I wondered aloud.

"Your mom's maiden name is Matthews. I figured Charley is named after my parents, we should name this one after yours and since he's a boy…it's the perfect opportunity."

I wrapped my arms around her and pressed my face into her hair. When I pulled back she had a smile on her face that I was sure matched my own.

"I love you," I said kissing her lips quickly.

"Love you too," she replied when I pulled away.

We left the hospital thrilled to go home and tell everyone the good news.

_**Wednesday April 11, 2012: Age 28**_

Today we finished setting up Matt's nursery. Bella and I decided to go with a sports theme and it turned out awesome if I did say so myself.

She had not been feeling well since yesterday leaving me to do most of the work while she sat in the rocker and told me what she wanted.

I was fine with that but she listened and let me use some of my ideas as well.

Bella was due in ten days and had already gone on maternity leave with the high school. They brought in a long-term sub to finish out her year and then she would have all summer to spend bonding with Matt before she would have to go back at the end of August.

We were ready for him to get here…all three of us were dying to meet baby Matthew.

Charley asked us every day if her baby brother was finished cooking yet. It always made us laugh when she said that because she had the most serious look on her face when she asked.

Emmett had made a comment about Bella having a bun in the oven and when Charley questioned him about it he used a bunch of cooking references so that was why she told everyone her brother was cooking in her mommy's tummy.

We heard the front door open and our exuberant daughter pounding up the stairs.

"Charley Renee Cullen, slow down on those stairs! You're going to fall!" My mom yelled.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Charley screamed as we heard her going in and out of each room upstairs.

She found us in the nursery and was full of excitement when she saw we had finished. "Wait! One more ting!"

She ran out of the nursery and then came back after a few minutes. When she returned, she had the turtle that I had given to Bella for her as a baby. Esme had entered the room behind her and was beaming as Char walked towards me with the turtle nightlight.

"I don't need light anymore, Daddy! Mat-E can have it," she said as she handed it to me.

"That is very thoughtful of you, Charley," my mom told her.

Charley had taken to calling him Matty but the way she stressed it…it came out…Matt with a pause and then E. It was somewhat adorable actually.

Emmett encouraged her and he started calling him Matty-Mo. Why, I have no idea. However, that was Uncle Em's nickname for him and Char loved it.

My mom couldn't stop crying when we told her we were naming him Matthew because of her maiden name…and the waterworks continued when we told her his middle name.

She agreed with me that Dad sent us this little miracle to show that he would always be with us.

"Where should we put the turtle for Matt, Charley?"

She took the turtle from me and set it at the foot of his crib on the floor. He would be sure to see the light in the room from where she had placed it. Very thoughtful indeed. She was going to be an amazing big sister.

"Thanks for picking up Char from daycare, Es," Bella said.

"Not a problem at all sweetie. I had already finished up with my client and I love spending time with my granddaughter, you know that."

Mom was working full time now with Dad gone. When she wasn't working, she was spending time with her family…including Charlie. Those two had dinner several times a week…either going out or my mom cooked.

I was glad that they had stayed friends and she had him to lean on for support. Their friendship made me happy for her.

Some days were better than others were for her…just like the rest of us. We all missed Carlisle…but he would want everyone to continue living and be happy. That was who he was.

James said in his toast at our wedding that I was the strongest man he had ever met. I assumed I got that from my father. However, watching the way my mom had handled his death, I knew instantly that I actually got it from her.

The four of us started to make our way out of the nursery when Bella clutched her stomach and let out a yelp.

"Oh crap," she whispered.

"Baby, what is it?"

"Yes…_baby_ indeed."

"Baby?" I asked. "Is he kicking?"

"More like trying to claw his way out!" She said through gritted teeth while still clutching her stomach.

"Oh dear!" My mom gasped. "It's time!"

"It's time?" I questioned dumbly.

Charley started jumping up and down. "Time, Daddy! My Matt-E is comin!"

"OH! It's _time_!" I said.

We all rushed around after that. Mom decided she was going to stay at the house with Charley until Matthew arrived. She knew Char would get bored waiting around at the hospital.

As soon as she helped me get Bella and our overnight bags into the car, she was going to call Charlie and tell him to meet us at the hospital.

All the way to the hospital, I could not stop smiling. My poor Bella could not stop yelling and cursing me every time a contraction hit.

"Oh shit!" She yelled.

"Was it a bad one, love?"

"No, my water just broke. I'm sorry, Edward!"

"Baby, I don't care about that! It's a fucking car! It can be cleaned and if not…I'll get a new one. I just want our boy here safe and sound…that's all I care about."

Charlie was already near the hospital so he beat us there and was waiting at the emergency entrance with a nurse and a wheelchair.

He told me he would go park the car while I went in with Bella.

As soon as we made it into labor and delivery, Bella demanded an epidural. She didn't want to tough it out as she did last time.

Unfortunately, the doctor said she was already too far along into labor to have one. Apparently, Matthew really wanted out badly.

When it came time to push, Bella grabbed me by my shirt and said, "Get me some fucking drugs!"

I pried her fingers off me and told her as gently as I could, "Sweetheart, it's too late for that…Matt really wants to meet us. Focus on him…it will be okay. I love you."

Charlie opted to wait out in the waiting room with the rest of the family this time around. It was Bella and I on our own in the delivery room.

She pushed and I coached her. She squeezed my hand and I kissed her forehead. She yelled at me and I told her how much I loved her.

In the end, Matthew Carlisle Cullen joined our family at nineteen and a half inches and six pounds four ounces.

He had a head full of dark brown hair like his mother's and when he opened his eyes, they were a dark bluish grey color. They were on the dark side and I hoped they would be brown like his mom's.

As soon as I laid my eyes upon that little boy, I felt that overpowering sense of love and awe just as I had when I first saw Char.

He reminded me so much of Bella and I loved it. The older Charley was getting, she had more red in her hair than brown, she looked more and more like me every day.

Bella was able to hold Matt first and then I followed the nurses over to watch as they cleaned him. When, I took him back to Bella, the grin was permanently etched across my face.

He was smaller than I remembered Charley being and he was awesome.

My exhausted wife was lying back in the bed, crying and sweating.

"Let's see Mommy again, shall we, Matt?"

"Oh my God, Edward! Look what we did. I can't believe we made another baby. I love him so much already," Bella cried. I sat in the bed with her and we bonded with Matthew much the way we did with Charley after she was born.

Everything he did fascinated us…even though he was pretty much only laying there sleeping. We could not have been happier or more content.

All of our family came in a few at a time, so they didn't overwhelm us. They all had a fit over our little man.

Charlie, Bella, Matt and I were the only ones in the room when Esme arrived with Char.

It was about nine at night and way past her bedtime but it was okay…she had a new brother to welcome into the world.

"She had a nap with me after you guys left. I didn't fight it because I knew she would want to come see Matthew."

Charley stayed back with her pops, nervous at first. She let her grandma hold Matthew and coo at him before her.

I noticed her standing beside Charlie taking in everything around her.

My little girl…

She was so perceptive…smart…and beautiful…headstrong…much like her mother. It was hard for me to watch her and believe she was going to be three in less than a month.

At times, she seemed much older.

Esme handed Matt back to Bella and said, "Charlie, why don't we go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee?"

"Sounds great, Esme," he said. Before they left, he scooped Charley up and kissed her on her forehead. "Go see Daddy, pumpkin. I think Matt is ready to meet his big sister."

He handed her to me and left with my mom.

Bella scooted over and made room for me to join her on the bed once again. I had Charley on my lap and Bella was still holding Matt.

"He's wittle Daddy," she said quietly.

"Yep, he sure is."

"What do you think of your little brother, Char?" Bella asked nervously.

A look of contemplation crossed our daughter's face and then she leaned down and placed a delicate kiss on Matt's tiny nose.

"Wuv you Matt-E," was all she said.

She yawned and leaned back into my chest. Apparently, her nap earlier with my mom was not enough.

Bella leaned into me to and the four of us lay there, relaxing. Matt and Char were both asleep.

"We did it," I told her.

"Yeah, we sure did. I love you, Edward, now more than ever. You, Char, Matt, you guys are everything. My home is wherever the three of you are."

"I couldn't agree with you more, love. We almost destroyed one another…but in the end, we saved each other as well. I love you too, baby."

She nestled herself closer into my chest…as close as she could get with Charley laying on me too.

I had one arm around Bella and the other around my little sneaker.

"Thank you," I said quietly.

"For what?" Bella asked.

"Absolutely everything," I said.

At one point in my life, I was drowning. I never thought I would reach the surface again. The alcohol consumed me and I let it. Bella saved me…by giving me everything. She gave me her love…kindness…forgiveness…and two beautiful children.

Back when Char was born, I never thought I would be experiencing this again with Bella. Let me tell you, I was insanely thankful that it had happened…even though I never expected it.

I was more than willing to let Bella go and find happiness without me…as long as she was truly happy.

The thing was…we were two halves of a whole…and we would never be happy while separated from each other. We got lost along the way, but we found our way back to one another…and nothing would ever tear us apart again.

We would not let it.

We were stronger than that now…and our love…our life together was _everything_.

The End

_**A/N…*Sigh*…I'm sad to see these two go. But all we have left my friends is the epilogue.**_

_**Now I don't have a teaser for the epilogue…but here is what I am proposing. I have never done this with any of my stories but I am thinking of doing some outtakes and letting you guys choose what you would like to see.**_

_**I will probably end up writing anywhere from one to three outtakes for this story. Possibly a few more, depending on the responses of what you would like to still read about. **_

_**SO…leave me a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter. THEN in your review tell me about a scene or an outtake that did not make it into the story that you would like to see. It can be ANY POV at all. **_

_**I will go through and see which outtakes are requested the most and then I will either put up a poll and allow you guys to vote OR I will leave an A/N at the end of the epilogue stating the most requested choices for outtakes and have you guys message me your choices.**_

_**If I can figure out how to do the poll, I will do it that way. So put on your thinking caps and tell me what you really missed reading about in the story. It can be anything from the past present or future. **_

_**Obviously, if it is covered in the epilogue it won't be something for an outtake…but if it's not it's fair game.**_

_**Thanks as always to dolphin62598...she wanted to make sure you guys still got your Wed update so she got this back to me very quickly. Also thanks to teacher1209 for pre-reading. I do enjoy hearing your thoughts.**_

_**ALSO check out pics from this chapter here:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**Story Recommendation:**_

_Blind Intentions__** by **__SammieLynnsMom_

_**http:/www(dot)fanfiction(dot)**__**net/s/6338168/1/Blind_Intentions**_

_**This story COMPLETELY owns me!**_


	33. Epilogue Part 1 EPOV

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. **_

_**A/N…IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT AT THE BOTTOM!**_

_**Soundtrack for the chapter: **_

_Ready, Set, Don't Go__** by **__Billy Ray Cyrus and Miley Cyrus_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=luIRLVj7LtA**_

Epilogue

EPOV

_**Sunday August 24, 2031: Age 48**_

Wednesday marked the twentieth year of Bella and I being married…the second time. All of the family was getting together today at our house for an anniversary celebration that was put together by our children.

I was thrilled that Charley was coming home again. We did not see her as much since she left home four years ago.

We saw Matt more than Char since he was living in Seattle. He chose to stay closer to home…for _certain_ reasons.

Charley Renee was always a spirited child, getting into trouble, always doing the opposite of what we expected. She definitely kept us on our toes. I butted heads with our only daughter on many occasions when she was a teenager.

Over the years though, our biggest issue was when she was accepted to UCLA. She had not even told anyone but J.J. that she applied. He knew because he had applied there and been accepted as well.

Those two were inseparable. When they were babies, deep down we all knew what would happen eventually so none of us were surprised when they declared their love for one another at the age of ten.

J.J. worked his ass off to graduate early so he and Charley would remain together since she was a year ahead of him.

He was another issue I had a hard time with…even though in my heart…I knew there was no better man for my daughter.

Even though I was concerned at the intensity of their relationship, we got past all of that.

However, five years ago when we found out Char was going to UCLA, it was her worst decision ever as far as I was concerned.

If she was all the way in California, she wouldn't be here…with _me_.

_**Flashback**_

_**Everyone was sitting around the dining room table except Charley. She came home later from school than usual and Bella sent her to the bathroom to wash up for dinner. **_

_**She came to the table and took her seat across from her brother.**_

"_**Where **__were__** you?" he questioned.**_

"_**Celebrating with J.J."**_

_**Matt rolled his eyes because we all had an idea of what that meant. Unfortunately, I knew for a fact that my daughter and her boyfriend were sexually active, because I came home early from work one day to find the live show going on upstairs in her bedroom.**_

_**I still did freelance work for businesses that wanted murals or other types of artwork for their establishments but through my children, I discovered a love for teaching art. **_

_**After taking a few classes I needed to earn a teaching degree, Bella was able to help me get a job at Forks High as the art teacher. I started doing that when Char was around eight and Matthew was five. I had been there ever since and I loved it. **_

_**A week before Char was set to start her junior year of high school; the teachers had already returned to work. We were supposed to be in meetings all day long, but I had the headache from hell and decided to cut out early.**_

_**My headache became much worse when I returned home and found my daughter and her boyfriend having sex in her room.**_

_**There was a huge fight after that. As much as I loved J.J., I wanted to kill him for defiling my daughter. James was hard on him too after the couple's physical intimacy was discovered. **_

_**J.J. was his son, but Charley was like a daughter to him. He was her Uncle James and he felt it was his job to protect her innocence. **_

_**Things finally calmed down after Tanya and Bella talked some sense into us…but it was hard to look at those two the same. I was always wondering where they had been and what J.J. had been doing to my daughter before bringing her home.**_

_**New rules were put into place but none of us were dumb enough to believe that they were not finding ways to still have sex.**_

_**Bella and I remembered how we were in high school and if they wanted to have sex, they would find a way no matter what.**_

_**My thoughts about discovering that my Char was sexually active were interrupted by my son's voice.**_

"_**Gross, Char! None of us needs to know about you and J.J.'s kinky sex games. Keep that shit to yourself."**_

"_**Language!" Bella chastised.**_

"_**Sorry, Mom."**_

"_**Get your head out of the gutter, Matty! It wasn't even like that. Besides, don't act like Mr. Innocent over there." **_

_**At that time, Char was seventeen and Matthew was fourteen. We had no idea what she meant by that comment…but we would find out soon enough.**_

_**Charley continued, "J.J. took me out for my favorite ice cream to celebrate our good news."**_

"_**What news is that, sweetheart?" I asked her.**_

"_**We both got into, UCLA! Isn't that awesome?"**_

_**Bella glanced at me with worry in her eyes…but she could not contain her excitement for long. She attacked our daughter with a firm hug while they both squealed together about the amazing college experience she and J.J. would have in California together.**_

_**Matt dropped his fork onto his plate and stood from the table. **_

"_**I'm not hungry…I'll be in my room."**_

_**Charley shrugged and went back to chatting away with her mom. It was as if I was not even in the room.**_

_**I slammed my fist down on the table with authority.**_

"_**Listen very carefully, Charley Renee, if you think you're going to California with that boy you are insane. I am not going to repeat this so I hope you understand the first time I say it...you…are…not…going…to…UCLA. That is too far from home and I forbid it! If J.J. wants to go, that's fine…let him go. You two could use some space. You will go to UW just like we discussed and that…is…final," I said through clenched teeth.**_

_**I was furious.**_

_**We had a college plan all mapped out for her and she would not be changing it.**_

"_**Edward!" Bella yelled at me. "You will not speak to her that way! She can decide what college she wants to go to."**_

"_**Stay out of this, Bella. I will be making this decision and I don't need your input."**_

"_**Excuse me?" she hissed.**_

"_**Daddy! Please! UCLA is my dream, you know this! It's not just because of J.J. I've always wanted to go there. You can't stop me because I will be eighteen when I go. This is my life…my decision, not yours! You have to let me grow up! Besides…he's not just some boy! You know that!"**_

"_**No…absolutely not," I said crossing my arms over my chest. "I said no, and that is my final say. If you go to UCLA, you are cut off and you will not receive a fucking dime from me for your schooling. I want you close to home…end of story."**_

_**With that, I scooted my chair back and retreated upstairs to check on Matthew. I knew why he left the way that he did. He was devastated that his sister was going to be so far away from us. He was having a hard time dealing with her going off to college at all, but it would be worse if she were in California. He told everyone all the time that his older sister was his best friend.**_

_**No…that would not be happening.**_

_**I knocked on his door but heard nothing. When I knocked again, I finally heard a muffled, "Go away!"**_

"_**Matt, don't worry, son. Char is not going to California. When you're ready to talk, you know where to find me. I love you, Matty."**_

_**I went to the room that I shared with my wife and sat on the edge of our bed. Even from upstairs in the quiet of our bedroom, I could hear my daughter downstairs sobbing uncontrollably. I could hear Bella's soft words of comfort.**_

_**What had I done?**_

_**The way I had spoken to my wife and my daughter downstairs was atrocious. The truth was, I was terrified of losing Charley…scared to death to let her go out into the world…and if I was being honest with myself…I was worried that I would lose her forever to J.J.**_

_**She was my girl…my little angel…not his.**_

_**I didn't know how long I sat in our room sulking and thinking over what I had said to them but just as I was about to head downstairs to check on them, I heard the bedroom door slam shut.**_

"_**Mom and Dad came and got Matty and Charley to let them stay there for the night."**_

_**Esme and Charlie were married about three years after Dad died. We were all shocked when they started dating two years after Carlisle was gone. However, they were happy and we could not deny them that. We supported their decision to be together knowing it was what Renee and Carlisle would want.**_

_**Bella had taken to calling Esme 'Mom' and I now called Charlie 'Dad'. **_

_**I looked up and saw the fury flash across my wife's face. "How could you say those things to Charley and me? What has gotten into you?"**_

"_**He is…long gone. I'm sorry…baby, I just can't deal with thinking about her going away next year…it's killing me."**_

"_**Oh grow up! You're forty-three years old Edward, grow the fuck up! I don't want to think about her going to college either, but that's what kids do…they grow up and they leave home. I cannot believe the things you said about J.J. either! You know their relationship. There is no better man for our daughter."**_

"_**I know," I said quietly.**_

"_**If you push her, you will lose her. You know how strong-willed she is."**_

"_**Yes, so much like her mother," I said smiling.**_

_**Bella's eyes softened and she joined me on the bed. Taking my hand in hers and pressing her forehead to mine she said, "Edward, you'll be fine…and so will Char. UCLA is a wonderful opportunity for her. They have the programs there that she and J.J. both want. I know if you think about it for a minute with a clear head, you will see it's true."**_

_**J.J. was aspiring to be a writer and UCLA had an excellent writing program that he had already been accepted into. My little Charley had wanted to be a director for as long as I could remember and she wanted to go to the film and media program there. **_

_**I nodded and kissed her nose lightly. "I'm so sorry I spoke to you that way. I was a dick. Forgive me?" I asked playfully.**_

_**She kissed my forehead and stood from the bed. "You're forgiven…but if you ever speak to me like that again, you will be going to stay with your sister. I told you years ago that I never wanted to see that controlling asshole again and I meant it. The only reason I am being so forgiving about this is because I know how much you are hurting and difficult it will be for you to let Charley go…but make no mistake…I will not put up with being treated that way every again."**_

"_**Understood," I replied sheepishly.**_

"_**Good, now pull yourself together and go to our parent's house and fix things with our daughter."**_

_**With that, she left me alone to my thoughts.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Luckily, for me, my daughter inherited Bella's forgiving nature. When I explained to her why I had been acting the way I was about her going away to school, she was very understanding for a seventeen-year old.

She assured me we still had a whole year together, we would make the most of it…and that we did.

My reflections were interrupted by screaming on the baby monitor. Bella was out at the grocery store getting some snacks. Charley and Matt told us that was all we were allowed to do for the party today because they were bringing the rest.

I ran up to Drew's room in a hurry. He was far from a baby, four-years old now but it had been awhile since we had done this with a little one so I still worried every time I heard him wake up from a nap crying.

"Papa!" he sniffled as I walked into the room.

I slid into his tiny bed next to him and pulled him into my arms. My legs hung over the edge but I did not care. My little guy needed me and I would be in any uncomfortable position to help him.

"What is it buddy?"

"Had a bad dream."

I patted his back and rocked him gently. "There, there…it's all right, buddy. I've got you."

"When's Daddy getting here?" he asked.

Yes…Edward Andrew Cullen was the biggest shock of our lives…and he was not our biological son.

"He's going to be here later with Aunt Charley and Uncle J.J., remember, Nana told you that before you went to sleep."

"Oh that's right. Can we go downstairs and watch cartoons?"

"Sure," I said. I stood up and helped him up from the bed.

"Come on, Papa!" He yelled running out of the room.

I laughed because he definitely kept Bella and me on our toes.

Bella and I got pregnant three more times after Matthew. Unfortunately, all of them ended in miscarriages. After the third one when Char was seven and Matty was four, we could not stand any more heartache. We already had two children and felt blessed so we decided to stop putting ourselves through the pain. I scheduled myself for a vasectomy that next week and we were done…or so we thought. Ten years later, we would have parenthood thrust upon us again…in a different way.

About a week after the fight with Charley over UCLA and the snide comments she had made about Matthew not being innocent we found out what she meant by that.

It was with teary eyes and his big sister by his side holding his hand that our fourteen-year old son came to us and told us he was going to be a father. Our innocent, computer geek child who loved nothing more than to sit at home on a Friday night playing World of Warcraft had a one-night stand at the only party he had ever been to and was now going to be a dad.

The four of us cried together and tried to figure out how we would handle the situation. The mother, Kate, wanted to abort the baby. She and Matt barely knew each other and she had no desire to be a mother at sixteen. If that was what Matthew would have wanted, we would have supported his decision. However, he did not feel it was the right thing to do.

We had a meeting with Kate's parents as well as Kate and Matthew. It was decided that Kate would not have the abortion and she would come stay with us until she delivered. Matt wanted to do everything he could for her since this was his responsibility too.

The original plan was to put the baby up for adoption.

However, as soon as Matt laid eyes on his son, he did not want to give him up. He cried in the waiting room while his mother held him and begged us not to make him give him away.

Bella and I shared a glance and knew that we would do anything to help our son and grandson.

Kate never bonded with Drew and had no desire to see or hold him. It took her less than a second to agree to sign over her parental rights.

That was that and we brought our first grandchild home with us. Matty needed a lot of help with him because we were not going to allow him to quit school. He stayed in school and worked part-time to help financially with the baby.

Matt was fifteen when his son was born and many say that a kid can't feel love for a baby when they have one that young…because they are too young themselves to grow up and be a parent. Well, then my son was the exception.

Bella and I helped out with the night time feedings…we made a team effort between the three of us because we all had work and school the next day. Better or worse, this little guy was in our lives and we loved him deeply…including his daddy.

He was a good father…and I knew that it bothered him that he was not around Drew as much now but it could not be helped. Matt was on the path to becoming a doctor. He graduated at the top of his class and had just started UW a week ago. He would also be applying to the medical school there so that he could stay close to his son.

Matthew would not be going to parties nor doing anything reckless now that he was in college. That was never in his personality anyway, especially since the first and only party he went to, left him with a lifetime souvenir…but he never regretted or resented his child.

I looked down at Drew sitting beside me. Every time I looked at that little boy, I was in awe at how much I loved him. He was such a surprise to us but we wouldn't give him up for anything in the world.

It was funny because we could not see his mother in him at all. He actually looked quite a bit like me when I was a toddler. He had Matt and Bella's brown hair but my green eyes and some of my facial features as well.

"Papa! Pay tention to the cartoons with me!" Drew called to me.

"Sorry, buddy. I'm going to go make us a snack, would you like that?"

He nodded excitedly and went back to his show.

I was not in the kitchen cutting up apples long before I heard the front door open and close.

"Nana! Missed you!" I heard Drew say.

My love was home.

"Where's Papa, sweetie?"

"Making a snack," he replied.

I heard my wife walk into the kitchen behind me and the sound of bags being placed on the kitchen table.

Soon, I felt her comforting arms wrap around me from behind.

"Hey," she said quietly. "You looked like you were in really deep thought while cutting those apples. Is something on your mind?"

"Nope…I'm just excited to see Charley."

"Um, our son is coming home too you know," she laughed.

"I know but it's different with Char…you know that. We see Matt every weekend and talk to him every day when he calls to talk to Drew. We don't see or talk to our daughter as much."

Charley and J.J. stayed in L.A. after they graduated this past May from UCLA. J.J. was currently completing an internship with McGraw-Hill. They had an office in Westlake Village, which was less than forty miles from their apartment. It worked for them. He knew Charley needed to stay in L.A. for her directing career.

For the moment, she was working at one of the local television stations as an errand girl, trying to get them to give her a shot behind their cameras.

"I know, I'm just teasing. I'm excited to see her too. She says she has big news for us," Bella said.

"I heard…and lord help me I don't know if I can take anymore big news announcements from those two. The last two have nearly done me in!"

The first time we received a big announcement from them did not come from them together…but it was when Charley said she got into UCLA.

The second one was two years ago when they came home on a break and told us they were married. They did not tell anyone beforehand because they didn't want anyone talking them out of it.

I was more hurt than angry because I was deprived of walking my baby girl down the aisle. After some convincing from her Aunt Alice, Charley caved and when they had their summer off from school, we had a wedding ceremony for them here and I was able to give my daughter away as it should be.

"I think they're having a baby."

At the mention of my daughter being pregnant, my hand that was holding the knife slipped and nicked my finger.

"Excuse me?"

"Shit, Edward you're bleeding!" Bella said.

"I'm sorry; did you just tell me our daughter is pregnant?"

My wife was laughing at me as she grabbed the first aid kit from under the sink to get a band-aid. The bleeding was not bad enough for stitches.

She handed me the band-aid and stood back from me. "Here, cover that up…and no I'm not telling you that she _is_ pregnant. I'm just telling you that is what I think the news is. Call it mother's intuition."

"You're not going to take care of your injured husband and bandage it for me? Jeez!" I scoffed.

"You know how I am about blood; just cover it up, please!" She said turning away.

I lunged at her and started tickling her from behind. I had already covered my finger but she did not know that. I would stop tickling long enough to taunt her about the blood.

She kept her eyes closed and begged me to stop in between her laughs.

I heard a throat clearing and turned to see Matty standing in the doorway with Drew in his arms. We were too involved in our playing to hear him enter the house apparently.

"Jesus, you would think at almost fifty years old you two would grow up…but I guess not," he chuckled. "Nice to know these kinky things are going on in the kitchen while my son is in the other room. Thanks guys," he said smiling.

We knew he was teasing. Before I could offer a retort to my youngest child, my grandson spoke up. "Daddy, what's kinky? I don't know that word."

"Hey, hey, hey! Where is everyone? The favorite child has returned!" Charley yelled from the living room.

Had I mentioned my daughter had the best timing in the world?

Drew jumped down from his father's arms. "Aunt Char and Uncle J.J.'s here!"

Bella left me where we were standing to cross the kitchen and hug our son. "You look tired, Matty. Are you getting enough sleep?"

"I'm fine, Mom. _Please_ don't worry."

She nodded and linked her arm through his as we walked out of the kitchen in search of our new arrivals.

"Daddy!" I heard her before I saw her. I felt thin, feminine arms wrap around my neck with a death grip and just like that; she was five-years old again…no longer twenty-two.

We had not seen her since their graduation three months ago and that was way too long. However, they were both busy and plane tickets were expensive. Charley and J.J. were fiercely independent people on their own, but together as a couple it was even worse.

They would not allow us to send them money, even though both sets of parents had offered from time to time. They were determined to make things work on their own.

As I hugged my little girl, I noticed the tight grip she had on me and I could tell she was afraid or worried about something.

Her tight hold on me made me think back to the day she left for college.

_**Flashback**_

_**J.J. and Char were driving to California all on their own. They had the Volvo that I had passed down to Charley weighed down with as many of their belongings as they could fit in there.**_

_**Part of me was screaming that this was a really bad idea…I needed to empty out the backseat and climb in there to go with them.**_

_**I could not imagine being without Charley Renee every single day…not seeing her bright and smiling face every morning at breakfast…hearing her tinkling laughter when I came home from work…kissing her forehead and telling her goodnight every night.**_

_**My little girl had been playing it off tough…like she was not scared for this change in the least. She told me all the time I was overreacting.**_

_**However, when she hugged me before they left, her actions told me otherwise. In that moment, I knew I had to be the strong one and let my angel spread her wings.**_

"_**I'm scared, Daddy. What if it doesn't work out? What if school is too hard? What if people there don't like us? How am I going to go every day without having you there?" she whispered into my neck as she held on for dear life. Her voice was panicked.**_

_**I knew she didn't want Bella or J.J. to hear that she was afraid.**_

_**Charley had always put on a front that she could handle anything…except with me. With me, she always melted and would let her guard down.**_

_**Bella and I loved both of our children equally, but usually a child is closer to one parent than the other one. Char was always closer to me and Matty was closer to his mom.**_

_**I whispered back to Charley, "Don't be afraid, sweetheart. You're amazing and no matter what happens…things will work out. I am always here for you…and you know that. If you need me, I'm only a phone call away…and if that's not good enough…there are always planes. Call me and I will be on the first flight to get to you. But Char, you're going to do great. You can do this. I have every bit of faith in my little girl."**_

"_**Thanks, Daddy. I love you so much. I'm just going to miss you guys."**_

"_**I know, baby," I told her.**_

_**She pulled back from me and said, "I better say goodbye to Matt and Drew."**_

_**Matt was having a hard time realizing his sister was really doing this. Drew was only a few months old when Charley left for college. My son had matured a lot since he had to become a father at such a young age but it did not stop him from putting on a fifteen-year old pout when it came time to say goodbye.**_

"_**I don't see why you can't go to UW. That's my plan. What's wrong with that school?" He asked.**_

_**Charley took Drew from him and was planting kisses all over him.**_

"_**Matt, come on…we talked about this. You're going to UW because you have Drew to think about and need to be close to him. J.J. and I don't have those kinds of reasons to stay."**_

"_**You have your family here! You have a nephew who needs his aunt to ask advice from because his father is young and probably going to screw everything up!"**_

"_**Matty-Mo, don't say that." She turned to Bella and asked her to hold Drew. After Bella had him in her arms, Char turned back to her brother. "Matthew Carlisle Cullen, you listen to me right now. You can do this. You love that little boy. Most guys your age would not have stepped up the way that you have…and for that my little brother…you are an amazing **__man__**. I love you and my nephew…so very much. But I know I am leaving him in the best hands with you as his father."**_

_**By the end of her speech, everyone was crying. Tanya and James were standing off to the side saying their goodbyes to their son with their daughter, Chloe. She was born a year after Matthew and they had always been good friends. She was pretty much the only friend Matt had after Drew. No one wanted to be friends with the fifteen-year old dad.**_

_**It did not bother Chloe though…Matty always was and always would be her friend…no matter what.**_

_**Everyone finished their goodbyes while I pulled J.J. to the side. "I love you as if you were my own son, I hope you know that." He nodded. "I want nothing but the best for both of you…but Jonathan James I am telling you right now…if you hurt my baby girl in any way…your ass is mine. Please take care of her…take care of each other. This is a new world for the two of you."**_

_**He hugged me and said, "Uncle Edward, you have my word. I won't let anything happen to her. She's my life…and I love her more than anything."**_

_**After all of the goodbyes were said and done, I was not ashamed of the tears that fell from my eyes when I watched them pull out of our driveway.**_

_**They were gone…off to start the next chapter of their lives.**_

_**I was terrified and excited for them…while sad for myself.**_

_**Chloe and Matthew had gone inside to hang out with the baby while James and Tanya had to leave and get back to the salon.**_

_**I was still standing in the driveway and I felt my wife's arm link through mine. "She'll be okay, Edward. We raised her well. They both have a good head on their shoulders and they will be great."**_

"_**I know," I said quietly.**_

"_**You miss her already, don't you?" she asked laughing.**_

_**I pulled Bella around in front of me and wrapped my arms around her. "God yes. I love her so damn much, Bells."**_

"_**Well…if you miss her that much…we can go say goodbye to her again at Mom and Dad's. They were heading over there on their way out of town. Everyone else is saying their goodbyes there so we could have a moment alone with her here."**_

_**I tossed her the keys from my pocket and said, "What are we waiting for? Let's go!"**_

_**The smile on Bella's face told me that she was not ready to let go of our daughter just yet either. "Matty, Chloe! We'll be back in a bit!" She yelled towards the house.**_

_**We hopped in the car and sped off to our parent's house to bid farewell to our daughter again. Oddly enough, it wasn't as difficult the second time.**_

_**End Flashback**_

Charley's grip on me tightened, "I've missed you so much, Dad."

"Me too, sweetheart, me too."

When she pulled back, she looked up at me with her sparkling green eyes. "Daddy…I need to talk to you…before anyone else. Can we go somewhere private?"

"Of course, we'll go talk in the study."

She nodded and told everyone we would be back in a bit.

I looked over at my wife and she smirked. She knew what our daughter was about to tell me…and when I saw Bella's reassuring smile, I knew that no matter what Char was about to tell me, everything was going to be all right.

Bella always made me feel relaxed and at ease. She had been my partner…my wife…my world throughout my entire life. I could get through anything…handle any kind of news as long as she was at my side.

Through thick and thin, better or worse, we had made it. I never forgot how badly I had hurt her in the past…how far we had once fallen. We knew what it was like to hit rock bottom and from there, there was nowhere to go but up…and we had found the way up…_together_.

_**A/N…I am incredibly sorry that it has taken so long to get this out to you guys. Unfortunately, real life has been hectic and my son and I keep passing this fall crud back and forth to each other. I just actually came down with it AGAIN yesterday. **_

_**I have decided that there will be two epilogues. Edward went on forever in this one so Bella did not get to have her say. I had to stop it here because if I kept going with Bella's here it would have been 10,000 words or more and you would still be waiting.**_

_**I will get the BPOV of the Epilogue up as soon as possible. I am hoping it won't be longer than a few weeks.**_

_**I have pictures up on the picture site of Charley, JJ, Matty, Drew and Chloe. You can see them here:**_

_**http:/picasaweb(dot)google(dot)com/edwardandbellabelong2gether**_

_**EXCITING NEWS!**_

_**War of the Roses has been nominated in The Sparkleteers Rare Gem Awards. **_

_**http:/thesparkleteerawards(dot)blogspot(dot)com/**_

_**The story is nominated for the Best Angst category in the Precious Stone Tier. Voting begins today and runs until 12/3. The winners will be announced on 12/4. I do hope you guys will check it out and vote for my story! **_

_**A BIG thanks to dolphin62598 for editing and teacher1209 for pre-reading. They both did this quickly yesterday even though they both had very hectic days! Love you ladies! Couldn't have written this story without you. **_


	34. Epilogue Part 2 BPOV

_**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stephenie Meyer owns it all. I am merely having fun with her characters. **_

_**A/N…Soundtrack for the chapter: **_

_The Best Day__** by **__Taylor Swift_

_**http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=memsP8-k5Ew&feature=related**_

Epilogue

BPOV

_**Sunday August 24, 2031: Age 47**_

The last twenty years had been very kind to us. I was blissfully happy with the life that Edward and I had built together with our children.

As I watched Edward and Char make their way upstairs to the study, I reflected back to the last time I saw them deep in conversation like that.

It was the day of her "wedding" to J.J. My husband and my daughter still do not know that I overheard their conversation that day. It was a private moment between the two of them, but I could not resist eavesdropping because it just made me love them both even more than I already did.

_**Flashback**_

"_**Are you sure you want to do this? I can sneak you out right now and no one would even know you were missing until we were in the next state with the way I drive," Edward begged Charley.**_

_**I heard her tinkling laughter. "Dad! Stop…we're already married. You can't fight fate…you told me that, remember? J.J. and I are meant to be…just like you and mom."**_

"_**I'm not ready for you to be someone's wife yet," he said. I could hear the pout in his voice because I knew my husband. "I still need you to be my baby girl."**_

"_**Aw, Daddy…I'll always be your baby girl. Nothing will ever change that. You've always told me that too. I really need you to be supportive here. I want to do this with your blessing. I love J.J. Dad. He's my soul mate…he jumps, I jump. But you're my dad and I love you so much."**_

"_**Oh Charley Renee, I love you too angel."**_

_**End Flashback**_

That day warmed my heart. The truth was I actually had no clue what Charley was about to tell Edward. A part of me just felt like she might be pregnant.

Whatever it was, I knew it was big for her and she was scared about it because she always went to Edward with news like that first. He was always her rock. I guess most moms would be jealous of that, but I wasn't because that was the kind of relationship I had with Matty.

I still remember the day he came home and told us about his impending fatherhood. I was terrified…for all of us.

_**Flashback**_

"_**Mom, Dad…Matt needs to talk to you. We need to have a family meeting," Charley told us seriously.**_

_**Our youngest child was mild mannered, geeky and always stayed out of trouble. For the life of me, I could not imagine anything he could have possibly done wrong.**_

_**Charley sat down on the couch with Matt beside her as they held hands. They motioned for Edward and I to sit opposite them on the coffee table in front of them.**_

_**We sat down and Matt immediately started crying. I noticed that our daughter had tears in her eyes too as she squeezed his hand and gently nudged him with her shoulder. "Go on, Matty-Mo."**_

"_**Mom…Mom…I'm so fucking scared."**_

_**This really worried me because Matthew never used foul language in his life. "What is it Matthew?" Edward asked from beside me.**_

"_**You know that party at Zack's house?" **_

_**I looked at my husband and then back to our son as we both nodded. We let him go to that party because he made straight A's and always stayed out of trouble. He had never been to a party before and Zack was his best friend. His parents were supposed to be there and it was going to be a small get together so we did not see any harm in it.**_

_**Matt started describing how the party actually was. **_

"_**Zack's parents were out of town that weekend. The rest of us told our parents that they would be there so we could go. Zack's older brother got a couple of kegs for us and I had more beer than I should have."**_

_**I was furious and as soon as we finished our conversation, Zack's parents were getting a phone call from me. My little Matty-Mo would never be allowed at Zack's house ever again. This was ridiculous!**_

_**Tears were pouring faster from Matthew's eyes as Charley encouraged him again. "Keep going, Matt."**_

"_**Fuck! This is so hard. I don't know how to tell you guys this…you're going to be so disappointed…you're going to hate me!"**_

_**Edward spoke before I could, "Matthew, there is nothing you could ever do to make us hate you. We love you, son, unconditionally."**_

_**His voice was so low I was sure I had heard him wrong when the next words left his mouth.**_

"_**I had sex that night…and the girl…she's p..pregnant...it's…mine," he stuttered.**_

_**I turned to my husband for support because I had no idea what to do. But when I looked at him he had the same look of shock on his face that I was sure I had on mine. There were also tears pooling in his eyes. It took a lot to make that man cry.**_

_**I did not realize I was crying until I felt the wetness hitting my hands. I moved from my seat on the coffee table and sat on the opposite side of Matt before grasping his free hand in mine.**_

"_**Matthew, are you sure?"**_

_**He nodded and I pulled his head into my chest to comfort him as I did when he was little. He sobbed into me and let it all out. I looked over him and saw Charley crying. Edward then moved from his spot and sat on the other side of Char and we were all quickly enveloped into his strong arms as much as possible.**_

"_**It's going to be okay. We can do this…we'll figure it out…together…we're a family and that's what families do," he said.**_

_**Things were difficult but we made our way through it. The day that Drew was born was another hard day. That day, he was set to be given up for adoption. Matty never left Kate's side during the labor and we were very proud of him. **_

_**After the baby was born, Matt came to find Edward and I in the waiting room. He collapsed into the chair next to me and sobbed into my arms. **_

"_**I can't do it Mom…please don't make me. He's beautiful and he's perfect and he's a part of me. Please don't make me give him up. I want to do this…he's not going to understand. He will think I didn't love him or he did something wrong. I don't want that for him. I know I can do this…if you'll help me. Please help me. I need you…oh God I can't do this."**_

_**I looked at Edward and with that one look, we knew what we would do for our son and our grandson…anything.**_

_**After all was said and done, Drew was a permanent fixture in our lives and we wouldn't have it any other way. Bad timing or not, that little boy was a blessing to us all.**_

_**End Flashback**_

"How's it going Aunt Bella?" J.J. asked as he sat down beside me.

"Awesome, J.J. How are things with you and my daughter?" I could not stop smiling. I was hoping he would let something slip about what Char was discussing with her father right now.

He smirked at me and held up his hands defensively. "Oh no! I am not telling you Char's big news until she has talked to Uncle Edward."

"Wait…_Char's_ big news? It's not news for the _both_ of you?"

"Shit…I mean fu…I mean darn it…I've already said too much! I'm going to go into the kitchen for a drink. See ya!"

With that, the little chicken shit fled from the couch.

Drew climbed onto my lap and giggled, "I still love you Nana."

That kid always put a smile on my face.

One by one, the rest of our family arrived and Edward and Charley still had not come back downstairs. Drew scampered off to find out what his dad was up to while Rose and Alice joined me on the couch.

I had not been talking with the girls very long when I saw Edward and Charley finally return from the study. He had his arms wrapped around our daughter and they were both smiling.

My husband broke away from Char and walked towards me. He was smirking as he pulled me up from the couch, sat down and then pulled me onto his lap.

He pressed his lips to my ear and whispered, "Boy your mother's intuition needs some work my love."

I turned and looked at him in shock. "What? She's not pregnant?"

The rest of our family started filing into the living room. "Who's pregnant?" Emmett screeched.

"Charley," I said but before I could finish my daughter interrupted.

"Excuse me?" She yelled while J.J. exclaimed, "**WHAT**?"

"Everyone calm down! Bella thought Charley's big news was that she is pregnant…but she's not," Edward said calmly.

"Well damn it, I was looking forward to another grandbaby," I pouted.

"Sorry, Mom. I am not even close to being ready to be a mom yet."

J.J. let out the breath he had been holding. "Thank God, I am so not ready to be a dad yet."

We all laughed at him.

"Well since I am already kind of on the spot…before Matty and I give Mom and Dad their present…I do have some news to share with you guys."

"Well?" Dad asked impatiently.

"The station is giving me my shot! And of course I had to share it with my dad first because I am terrified and needed him to give me one of his famous pep talks, "she said happily.

"Really? You are seriously going to get to direct?" I asked excitedly. She nodded and I could not stop smiling.

Everyone was cheering and congratulating her as she calmed down and told us how this came about. Apparently, one of the regular directors at the station came down with a nasty stomach bug and passed out while they were on the air. My brilliant baby girl stepped up to the plate and showed them what she was made of on the spot.

This was big news in Charley's world and I turned towards my beaming husband and whispered, "I love you. She's strong and determined because of you."

"No way, love. She gets that strength and determination from her mother. She gets her good looks and charm from her dad."

I playfully swatted his shoulder before we shared a brief kiss with one another.

"So…how about we get to this anniversary present that we put together for our parents?" Matt asked.

"Oooh! Present!" I squealed as Edward's arms tightened around me.

"Since when do you get so excited about gifts, Bells?" Emmett asked from across the room.

"Since they are from my precious children, Em…that's when!"

Matt had a DVD case in his hand and he opened it to remove the DVD.

"That's _it_?" Emmett questioned.

"Shut it, Em," my husband commanded.

Matt handed the DVD to his sister and she placed it into the DVD player while she began speaking.

"Uncle Emmett, our mom taught us that the best gifts are those that are homemade and from the heart. Well, Mom…Dad…this gift is something Matty and I have been working on for a while, it is homemade and it is from our hearts. The two of you have seen your share of problems and difficulties over the years...but you have taught Matty and I that if you work as a team…as one family unit…no matter how big or small that unit is…you can overcome _anything_.

"You guys have taught us just about everything in life worth knowing and we love you so very much because of it. Now, this took some configuring to put together because Matty and I had to email and send stuff through the regular mail back and forth to get it right. This is for you Mom and Dad."

Edward and I were both a crying mess and Charley had not even pressed play yet.

I recognized the song playing immediately as pictures were showcased across the television screen, one after another. The song was _The Best Day_ by Taylor Swift.

This song was completely fitting for our life with our children.

Matty and Char had timed the pictures perfectly to the words of the song.

The first pictures were from the pumpkin patch when Charley was five and Matty was two. The scarecrow scared Char so badly that she dropped the pumpkin in her hands. After that, she promptly ran straight to Edward demanding that he pick her up.

There were pictures thrown in there that were taken the day that Matty was bullied by some boys who were supposed to be his friends in school. He was thirteen and these boys had him so upset he never wanted to go to school again.

I put him in the car and we just drove until we wound up in Seattle almost four hours later. We talked about everything that had happened. After deciding to spend the night, we had dinner and went to see a movie. There were some fighting scenes in the movie that we saw and he asked about taking up karate.

I thought that would be good for him and signed him up the next day after we got back to Forks. He knew that violence did not solve anything but I wanted him to be able to stand up for himself if the bullies ever turned their verbal abuse into anything physical.

All through the DVD, there were pictures of our life together with these amazing beings that we created…Matthew and Charley.

There were even pictures of our lives since Drew had come along in there as well. It was the best gift we had ever gotten and we told them so once it was over. There was not a dry eye in our house.

The day started winding down and turned into night as people started to leave. I wanted Edward to enjoying being with our children so J.J. and I took the kitchen clean up duty.

When we finished cleaning the kitchen, we walked into the living room where we had left Edward and the kids playing video games. The scene before me still made my heart skip a beat.

On our biggest couch in there, Edward was pressed up in the corner with Charley curled into his side fast asleep. But what was even cuter was the fact that leaning over curled into her was her brother with Drew on his lap, and then sleeping soundly on his side was Chloe.

I turned to J.J. and saw him smiling beside me. "Is there something I need to know about your sister and my son?"

He grinned and said, "They are pretty smitten with each other…that's all I know."

We laughed and joined our family. I leaned into my husband and kissed his forehead. "Hey, baby," he said softly.

"Do you guys have room for two more?" I asked him with a smile.

"Always," he said as he pulled me down onto his lap where I snuggled close. J.J. did not want to bother Charley and Matthew so he wedged his way down on the end between the edge of the couch and his sister.

It was a tight fit yet perfect at the same time.

All of us were pulled close together in warmth and in love.

Our family.

Against all odds, no matter how much we warred with each other in the past, Edward and I had made it…and that was worth all the pain that we had to suffer in the past.

Everything we had been through brought us to this moment in time and I would not have traded that for anything in the world.

_**A/N…Just a couple of things.**_

_**I am really sad to be clicking complete on these two and I am so sorry that it has taken me this long to get this out to you guys. I have no excuse other than real life has just been kicking my ass with major family drama towards the end of this story and it all got away from me.**_

_**I don't think I am going to be doing any outtakes for this story after all. I just feel that this E & B have run their course and I've said all I have to say for them.**_

_**I have another story idea that will not leave me alone and I have already started writing it. I will begin posting once I get further in…so make sure you have me on author alert if you want to read any of my future projects.**_

_**Thank you so much to my beta dolphin62598 for being fabulous and fast and to my pre-reader teacher1209 for all of her support as well.**_

_**Thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. All of my readers are very important to me and I you will be seeing more from me again soon. Until then….**_


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